For Christmas, I spent hundreds of dollars on premium imported cherries for my parents. My younger sister ate a whole bowl, and no one batted an eye. I ate one bowl, and my mother started muttering passive-aggressively under her breath. "Says she bought them to be filial, but look at her, stuffing her face endlessly." Usually, in situations like this, I would apologize and offer to buy more. But today, I suddenly felt exhausted. I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't buy more. I wanted to see just how far Mom would go. Chapter 1 Before dawn even broke, my dad was shaking me awake. "Peach, get up and go buy another box of cherries. It's not that much money. Don't upset your mother during the holidays. She was crying last night because of you. You're a good, dutiful daughter; you need to be more understanding of your mom." I was groggy from sleep, but hearing my dad's accusation, a wave of grievance washed over me. To make it home for the holidays, I had worked overtime for a week straight. And now, over a bowl of cherries, I was being kicked out of bed before sunrise to go buy more. Those cherries were expensive. I bought pounds of them. I ate one small bowl yesterday. It wasn't even that much. My sister, Lily, ate a bowl too. Why was this still an issue? It's been like this since I was a kid. I was used to backing down, retreating again and again. When we were poorer, we only had steak on holidays. At the dinner table, Mom would always say with a fake smile, "Steak is so expensive these days, but Peach loves it. What can I do? I'm her mom. Since it's cooked, hurry up and eat." I would only take a tiny piece. If I took more, Mom would start making snide remarks. "Always eating, eating, eating. Don't you know how hard things are for the family right now?" She'd finish with a glare. So I would sit there, trembling, afraid to take another bite, thinking my parents had it tough and I should let them eat more. But no matter how much Lily ate, Mom never complained. All our relatives knew that Mom "spoiled" me, "doted" on me, and bought me whatever I wanted, even if money was tight. But Mom always used the excuse of buying things for me, only for those things to end up with Lily. Once, I tried to defend myself in front of relatives, and it was like poking a hornet's nest. "Look at you all! When did I not buy her things? She didn't like them so she gave them to her sister, and now she accuses us of favoring Lily!" Mom cried, looking so wronged. The relatives looked at me disapprovingly. I felt like a clown stripped naked, bowing my head to accept their judgment and criticism. Mom did buy me things, but they were always in colors and styles that Lily liked. Who could I tell my grievances to? In the end, I apologized to her. I apologized for three days straight before Mom finally calmed down. Mom and Dad always knew how to manipulate me. There were too many incidents like this. Sometimes I fell into a vortex of self-doubt. I never knew how to sweet-talk my parents like Lily did. I always thought if I did more, if I was more understanding, they would see my efforts. Family harmony is everything. But this "harmony" was always bought with my compromise. I suddenly remembered overhearing two mothers talking on the train ride home. "As parents, you have to elevate your status. Make them feel like nothing they do is ever enough to satisfy you. That's how you control them." "You have to use the right methods to manipulate them. That's how you make them obedient." I had been the obedient daughter for 28 years. Today, suddenly, I didn't want to be obedient anymore. I wanted to rebel. I got up, locked my bedroom door, pulled the covers over my head, and went back to sleep. Sleeping fitfully, I heard voices in the living room. "So, is what you said before still true? When Lily marries my son, you'll give this condo to Lily as a dowry?" "Of course it's true. Lily is my favorite. When they get married, not only will we give this condo, we'll also give a bank card with savings." "Lily even bought imported cherries specifically for you guys. Take some home later." Lying in my warm bed, my heart turned to ice. This three-bedroom condo my parents lived in—I paid the down payment, I paid the mortgage. They always said they were just living there, and when I got married, the condo would still be mine. But what did I just hear? They were going to give my condo to my sister as a dowry? I quickly got dressed, threw open the bedroom door, and stormed into the living room. "Mom, this condo is mine. I do not agree to give it to Lily as a dowry." Chapter 2 The air in the living room solidified instantly. Mom, Dad, and Lily all looked at me in shock. Mom stood up abruptly. "Peach, didn't you go to buy fruit? Why are you still home?" She winked at me frantically, signaling me to leave. Based on past experience, I had to make things clear right now. Otherwise, Mom would say later, "Didn't you already silently agree?" I looked at Mom stubbornly. "Mom, this condo is mine. Why are you giving it to Lily as a dowry?" Dad pointed at me angrily. "We're still alive! What is yours? This condo belongs to us old folks. We can give it to whoever we want, and you have no right to interfere!" A stylishly dressed woman among the guests stood up with a smile. "You must be Lily's sister, Peach. I'm Lily's future mother-in-law, you can call me Mrs. Chen." "Your mother said Lily has been paying the mortgage on this condo. It's not unreasonable to give it to her as a dowry, right?" Mom grabbed my arm hard, her nails digging deep into my flesh, ignoring the pain she caused, and dragged me out the door in one breath. She warned me in a low voice, "Today is the day we set the wedding date for your sister. If you dare ruin this, I'm done with you. Go buy cherries immediately, I need them later." With that, the door slammed shut. I stood there in my slippers, without my phone or wallet. Only tears fell, unbidden, one by one. Since we were kids, any good thing I had, Mom decided to give to Lily. The fountain pen I won in a competition, Mom said let Lily use it for a couple of days. My scholarship money, Mom said let Lily hold onto it for a couple of days. New clothes bought for me, Mom said let Lily wear them for a couple of days. ... Without exception, these things eventually became Lily's. This time, they were giving my condo to Lily. Why were they so biased? And so self-righteous about it? I used to suspect I wasn't their biological daughter, but every time they slapped me and then gave me a piece of candy, I convinced myself I was being petty and misunderstanding them. So I was constantly consumed by confusion, pain, and self-denial. But whenever they showed a tiny bit of concern, I would be overjoyed. I was immersed in negative emotions from the past, tears streaming down my face. I stood alone in the hallway, watching the elevator go up and down. At that moment, Lily opened the door and came out. She draped a down jacket over me, mumbling, not knowing what to say. When we were little, my sister and I were close. We talked about everything and promised to be best sisters forever. Maybe time moved too fast. We had long deviated from that path, drifting further apart on a road of comparison, jealousy, and fighting for parental affection. "Sis, Mom is just like that. She's been this way her whole life, she won't change. Just go along with her." A wave of anger rose in my heart. "Lily, tell me, which item for the holidays wasn't bought by me? Why can't I eat some cherries I bought myself?" Lily quickly held my hand. "Sis, keep your voice down. Mom cares about face. She's doing this so I have face in front of my in-laws. Sis, Mom doesn't like being contradicted. Just buy a little more." It all came back to me buying more. I wanted to see what kind of scene Mom would make if I didn't buy cherries today. I pulled the door open forcefully, tossed the down jacket on the entryway bench, then washed the remaining cherries and sat on the sofa eating them from the bowl. Mom pointed a trembling finger at me. "You unfilial daughter, what are you doing?" I blinked innocently. "Mom, I'm just eating some fruit I bought. Is that a crime?" Seeing the tense atmosphere, Mrs. Chen and her family said sarcastically that they had things to do at home and would discuss the wedding date later. After Mom, Dad, and Lily apologized profusely and saw them off, Lily ran back to her bedroom crying. Dad kicked over the coffee table in front of me, snatched the bowl from my hands, and smashed it on the floor. Then slap, a hard slap landed on my face. "I'll let you eat!" Dad was so angry he stomped on the cherries rolling on the floor one by one. "If you ruin Lily's marriage, get out of my house!" Chapter 3 The crushed cherries bled red juice on the floor, looking like red flowers—just like my image in my parents' hearts: a daughter they could trample on at any time. Mom cried uncontrollably, not forgetting to accuse me. "You're just jealous your sister found a good partner. You can't stand to see her happy, can you? You won't be satisfied until you ruin her marriage, right? Just because your marriage is unhappy, your sister doesn't deserve happiness?" I sat on the sofa, silent, tears flowing. What could I say? They never cared what I said; their eyes and hearts only held Lily. The resentment in my chest ran wild; I couldn't suppress it anymore. "I'm jealous of her? Jealous that she barely got into a community college? Jealous that she makes minimum wage? Or jealous that she found a 'good' in-law family that demands a house as a dowry?" Dad squatted on the floor holding his head. When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot. "Your sister wasn't as smart as you growing up, and she doesn't have as many schemes as you. Is it wrong for us to plan more for her?" "You went to a top university and got a good job, making good money. Can't you stop calculating against your sister?" I looked down and sneered. "Dad, I wasn't smart, I was desperate. Since I was little, you told me you guys were incapable, and if I wanted a good life, I had to study hard myself. I listened to you, so I studied desperately. Isn't it natural that I tested well?" "I got severe gastritis at 28 because I didn't eat on time while working myself to the bone. Do you think my salary comes easily?" Dad rubbed his face hard, his lips trembling. "But how did you raise Lily? You said the family only needed one hardworking sister, and the younger sister just needed to wait to enjoy the blessings." I wiped my tears with my sleeve, but they wouldn't stop. "Who caused my unhappy marriage? Was it me?" I pounded my chest, asking Dad with heartbreaking pain. The grievances and neglect my parents gave me over the years, the pressure and disappointments from work, all pressed down on me until I couldn't breathe. I put on my down jacket dejectedly and walked out the door, feeling heavy. The streets were full of festive decorations, the holiday atmosphere thick. But my heart was a desolate wasteland. I walked aimlessly. The winter sun was warm. But my heart felt like it was soaking in an ice cellar; even in the sun, I couldn't feel any warmth. I walked for an hour, but my chest still felt tight. Before, I could always coax myself into feeling better quickly, but this time, no matter how I made excuses for my parents, the resentment in my heart wouldn't dissipate. Why? I wanted an answer too. Was it because I wasn't worthy of eating the cherries I bought? Or because they broke our promise and privately gave my condo to my sister? Or because I finally realized they didn't really love me that much? A burning pain came from my stomach, and I realized I hadn't eaten breakfast. I bought a candied hawthorn stick (tanghulu). Sweet and sour. As I ate, I suddenly started laughing. Lily and I were so much like this treat! She was the sugar, I was the sour fruit. Looking red and round together. But people's attention was always on the sweet part. My phone kept ringing. Without looking, I knew I was being denounced in the family group chat again. "Peach is too outrageous. Coming home only a few days a year and making her parents angry. It's not right." "It was just asking you to buy some cherries. How much could it cost? The richer she gets, the stingier she becomes." "Lily usually takes care of your parents. You should be filial and buy things during the holidays. What's the problem?" ... I listened, burning with anger. My parents never explained the whole story, and those relatives loved to take things out of context. So I became the target of their criticism whenever they felt like it. They all liked to stand on the moral high ground and criticize me to gain a sense of presence as elders. In reality, in front of their own kids, they were all gentle parents who dared not breathe too loud. Chapter 4 I decided to reply. "Uncle Dave, why do I only come home a few days a year? I paid the down payment and the monthly mortgage for the condo my parents live in now. If I don't work myself to death, are you going to pay the $6,000 monthly mortgage for me?" "I bought imported cherries, fifty dollars a pound. If my family eats them, I'll buy as much as they want. But my parents wanted to give the cherries to Lily's future in-laws. Auntie May, is it my place to pay for that?" "I bought the condo, I paid for the renovation and appliances. I pay for all of Mom and Dad's medical bills, big and small. I give them a red envelope of over a thousand dollars every holiday. Even when their phone bill is due, Lily calls me to pay it. Auntie June, between two sisters, one pays and works, the other takes. Where did I go wrong?" Silence in the family group chat. An eerie silence spread. The frustration in my chest was finally vented. Did they not know these things? They were just used to dictating my life. Whichever child the parents loved, the relatives saw only that child. The unloved child was wrong in everything. For the next two days, Dad ignored me, Mom threw things around, and Lily looked at me hesitantly several times. There was no holiday atmosphere at home. They were all waiting for me to apologize, curry favor, and promise benefits. I wanted to try resisting until the end. Maintaining family affection solely through my compromise—would they change even a little because they loved me? On New Year's Day, Uncle Dave treated us to dinner at a restaurant. The relatives greeted me warmly, telling me to eat more. Very rare. Halfway through, I went to the restroom and saw Mom, Auntie May, and Auntie June go into the fire escape stairwell. I followed quietly. "Give me some ideas. I already promised Lily's in-laws that this condo would be her dowry when they get married. What if Peach doesn't agree?" Auntie May said, hating iron for not becoming steel, "Are you confused? How many families around here give a condo as a dowry? Do you have multiple properties?" Auntie June also advised earnestly, "Between the two sisters, Peach is the capable one. If you break Peach's heart completely, who will you rely on when you're old?" Mom said aggrievedly, "Peach is capable and scheming, unlike Lily who is honest and kind. As parents, shouldn't we take from the rich to help the poor?" My heart felt like it was being squeezed by an iron hand. It hurt. If I were truly "scheming," would I be bullied by them like this? They could manipulate me at will just because they were my biological parents. Was it wrong for me to work hard and earn money with my own skills? Did it become their excuse to suck my blood? When I returned to the private room, I had no appetite. Uncle Dave got drunk and kept talking about "filial piety" to the younger generation. I knew he was saying it for me. Suddenly, Mom and Mrs. Chen pushed open the door and came in. As soon as Mrs. Chen saw me, she walked towards me enthusiastically. "Peach! We really are destined. We booked a room here too. We have a lot of young people there, come say hi. It's good for young people to make friends." Someone who starts plotting for her daughter-in-law's dowry condo before the wedding can't be a good person. Calling me so intimately? I made an excuse about a headache, refusing to go to their room. "You child." Mom grabbed me. "What's wrong with making more friends? Hurry up, give your Mrs. Chen some face." She dragged me to Mrs. Chen's room without explanation. And purposefully pushed me into the seat next to a balding man. I've been around the block; I knew exactly what Mrs. Chen was planning. Judging by how Mrs. Chen and her husband acted towards the balding man, they probably needed a favor from him and were offering me up as a sacrifice.
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