My roommate, Zara, is a freeloader. She uses our stuff but never mentions splitting the cost. If she comes back to the dorm an hour late, she demands we split the AC bill so she pays less. When we stop her from smoking in the room, she has the audacity to ask us to split the cost of her cigarettes. Fed up, I suggested installing the nationally promoted "Absolute AA System." [Note: AA stands for "All Average" or "Acting Alone," referring to splitting bills evenly or paying for oneself.] She happily agreed. Later, at a group dinner, the usually frugal Zara waved her hand and ordered a table full of expensive seafood. I frowned and warned her: "That's too much." She dismissed it. In the end, as expected, more than half was left over. She feigned regret: "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to pack it up and take it home, so it doesn't go to waste." When the final bill came out, she broke down. The Absolute AA System does not lie. 1 I returned to the dorm after class to find all my roommates present. Zara looked unhappy, while the other two, Laney and spicy-tempered Layla, looked awkward. The atmosphere was a bit tense. Then Zara spoke up: "Since everyone is here, I have an announcement." "I have club activities and come back an hour later than you guys. I don't enjoy the AC during that time, so I won't pay for that hour of electricity." "At $2 an hour, 2 x 30 days = $60. 60 divided by 4 is $15. It's not too much to ask for me to pay $15 less a month, right?" I frowned slightly. The other two roommates looked at each other. Zara had been like this since we became roommates. She never bought anything herself, just used our stuff, and shamelessly mooched food and drinks. The roommates, knowing she wasn't well-off, didn't fuss about it. Unexpectedly, not only was she ungrateful, but she also came up with this "AA" scheme. It was disgusting. Seeing no one respond, Zara raised her voice: "You guys aren't trying to cheat me, are you? Trying to take advantage of me for this little bit? Have some shame!" I looked at the other two roommates and asked: "What do you guys think?" Laney, thin-skinned and also not from a wealthy family, didn't dare express her opinion, whispering weakly: "I'm fine with whatever." "Doesn't matter to me." Layla, who came from money, didn't care about the cash and didn't want to argue over such petty things. "I have no objection either, but there's a problem. How do we ensure it's truly fair? What if you come back early one day? How do we calculate that? Who has the time to keep track?" Zara looked at me with disgust: "You're so troublesome, always nitpicking." "You're allowed to nitpick us, but we can't nitpick you?" Layla agreed with me: "I think Jay has a point. If we're going to calculate, we have to be precise." "So what do you want? Trying to welch on the deal?" Zara kicked a chair in dissatisfaction, making a harsh scraping sound. I said expressionlessly: "Didn't the school release an AA System? Let's go get the chip implanted. Then the accounts will be clear." "Otherwise, forget it." Zara hesitated, then agreed. She always felt she was losing out by living with us. So the four of us went to the campus clinic for the subcutaneous implant. Afterward, a mechanical voice appeared in our minds: [Welcome to the Smart AA System developed by the State. This system will provide you with the fairest bill-splitting service.] This system was linked to our IDs and bank accounts. It would only be automatically removed upon graduation. Soon, the AA System deducted $0.50 from our electricity bill and credited it to Zara. The amount was small, but the pettiness was nauseating. Zara looked relieved and said loudly: "If I knew earlier, I would have gotten this system sooner. I've been giving away free electricity for a year." Me: "..." Laney/Layla: "..." 2 After that day, Zara acted like nothing happened. Laney just came back with food, and Zara suddenly got up from her bed, sitting opposite her with an empty bowl. "Wow, braised pork today, and my favorite hand-torn cabbage! Laney, you're the best!" Zara reached out with her chopsticks to take some food. But having seen her true colors, we were disgusted. Laney blocked her: "Zara, I only bought enough for myself. You... should go buy your own." Zara frowned: "Laney, you make it sound like I'm intentionally mooching. I just didn't have time to get food. What's wrong with roommates helping each other out? Be careful, being so stingy will make people talk." Laney, thin-skinned, flushed red: "How did you not have time? You're always the first back to the dorm after class..." "What do you mean?" Zara slammed her chopsticks down. "Are you looking down on me?" "I didn't mean that..." Just then, I walked in. Zara sought me out to judge: "Jay, look at Laney. I just didn't have time to get food and asked for a few bites, but she's so petty. So small-minded." I glanced at the teary-eyed Laney, then at the self-righteous Zara, and said: "You seemed to be like this last year too. Did you not have time every noon for a whole year? Would you live on dew if you didn't have roommates?" Zara's face turned ugly: "Busy people like me are naturally different from idle students like you." Zara loved to show off outside, winning the favor of many teachers and students, and even became the student council president. But who would have guessed she was like this in the dorm? "How about this? I bought two portions of food. I'll sell you one." I handed her the spicy hot pot (Malatang) in my hand: "$18." "That's more like it." Zara's face instantly cleared up. Taking the food, she glared at Laney: "Look at Jay. With your mindset, you won't achieve anything after graduation. You look so poor." Laney cried. I comforted her on WeChat, telling her to ignore Zara. However, Zara finished eating, took a nap, and still hadn't paid me the $18. In the evening, Laney asked me guiltily: "Jay, does she not want to pay you? If I knew, I would have just given her some food, so you wouldn't have wasted a portion." I said it was Zara's problem, not hers. And Zara might not always get away with it. Finally, at 12 o'clock, the system settlement sound rang in our minds. [1. Utilities split evenly, Zara deducted $0.50 less.] [2. $18 for spicy hot pot transferred from Zara's account to Jay's account.] Zara bolted upright, screeching: "Jay gave me that food! Why deduct $18?!" I reminded her timely: "I remember saying I was selling it to you." Zara gritted her teeth and lied: "You're lying! You clearly said you were giving it to me!" Laney said quietly: "Jay made it very clear, she sold it to you." "Shut up! I didn't agree!" Layla roared with her bad temper: "Doesn't matter what you say. The system has judged the nature of the transaction. Arguing is useless. If you have objections, take it up with the State." Zara was furious, cursing: "Fine! You guys are ganging up on me!" Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. She actually appealed the charge, but it was rejected. She spent the whole night cursing and kicking furniture, making noise to show her dissatisfaction. If she's unhappy, no one else can be happy. Even with earplugs, we couldn't block out the noise completely. The next day, Laney, Layla, and I all had dark circles under our eyes. 3 Probably for the revenge of the $18, Zara's mooching behavior worsened. She started taking things without asking. The fruit on the table, if not watched, would soon be reduced to a third. My newly bought shampoo was half empty in two weeks. Layla's unopened expensive face cream was found opened and half gone. She confronted Zara, unable to bear it anymore: "Did you steal and open it? You scooped out half!" Zara clipped her nails, not even looking up: "You can eat indiscriminately, but you can't talk indiscriminately. Which eye saw me take it? You probably used it yourself and blamed it on me." Layla was furious: "I just bought it yesterday! It was on the table, never touched!" "Whether you touched it or not is none of my business. Why accuse me? Why not Laney or Jay?" "They wouldn't do such dirty things like you!" "Oh, targeting me, huh? Do you have evidence? If not, shut up." Indeed, there was no evidence. Because of this, no matter how Layla questioned her, Zara denied it to the death. Layla angrily locked her valuables in the cabinet, slamming the door shut with a "bang." "Then what about you breaking my hairdryer? You were the last one to use it, and it broke right after," I said suddenly from my bed. I couldn't intervene in Layla and Zara's business, but my account had to be settled. "Just because you say I used it last means I did? Maybe you broke it yourself and framed me. Again, evidence or shut up. Annoying as hell." "I hope you can keep this attitude." I said meaningfully, then immediately ordered a surveillance camera, telling only Layla and Laney. "Stop acting tough, always whining." Zara sneered and lay back down, not cleaning up her nail clippings. Not only that, but a pile of unwashed underwear and smelly socks was piled at the foot of her bed. Takeout boxes were stuffed under her desk, attracting cockroaches and bugs, filling the dorm with a rotten stench. Even the good-tempered Laney couldn't help but speak up seeing this "grand sight": "Zara, clean up your area. It's dirty. And it's your turn to clean the dorm this week, but you haven't done it." However, she only got this reply: "I don't think it's dirty. If you think it's dirty, clean it yourself. A dorm full of busybodies." Then she put on her headphones and played games. Laney couldn't stand it and started cleaning with a broom and mop. Seeing this, Layla and I consciously got out of bed to help. From above came Zara's voice cursing at the game, soon changing to a sickeningly sweet voice: "Boohoo, what to do with weird roommates, brother? They all bully me. Will you protect me?" Us: "..." What comforted us was the bill settlement at night. [1. Utilities split evenly, Zara deducted $0.50 less.] [2. Zara scooped out half of Layla's luxury face cream. Calculated at market price, must pay $800. Deducted.] [3. Zara broke Jay's hairdryer. Calculated with depreciation, must compensate Jay $200. Deducted.] [4. Zara failed to fulfill cleaning duties. Three roommates helped clean. Calculated at market cleaner rate of $100/person/hour, total $300. Deducted.] We were stunned, then ecstatic. We didn't expect the AA System to be so observant! Zara went crazy, cursing the system for scamming money, demanding a refund and removal of the system. However, the cold mechanical voice sounded again: [Removing the system before graduation will result in expulsion.] 4 Learning she would be expelled, Zara dared not question the system anymore. But she intensified her torture of us. Sleeping late, waking up early, playing games on speaker, banging things around loudly. A good night's sleep became a luxury. We dragged our heavy bodies to class every day, sleeping as soon as we hit the desk, losing many participation points. Besides that, she livestreamed in the dorm. Once, Laney was changing and almost got recorded. Zara just said indifferently: "Who knows if you stood there changing on purpose? Seeing me livestream, couldn't you hide? I think you just wanted to be on camera, using your body to seduce people." Laney cried from anger and asked the counselor to change dorms. The counselor comforted her, saying they would arrange it when a dorm opened up. But we knew this was just bureaucratic talk. Seeing the counselor couldn't do anything to her, Zara became even more smug. At some point, she picked up a bad habit. Smoking. She smoked as soon as she returned to the dorm, two packs a day. Entering the door, we no longer smelled the sourness of her bed, but the stench of secondhand smoke. I hate the smell of secondhand smoke; it hurts my heart and lungs. I couldn't help but rage: "The dorm is a public space! Why smoke here? Can't you go outside?" Layla, eyes stinging from the smoke, joined in: "Don't you know secondhand smoke is toxic? Why force us to breathe your smoke?" Zara just sneered: "So what? I haven't asked you to split the cost of my cigarettes yet." Seeing us unhappy made Zara happy. Laney, Layla, and I squatted downstairs, looking at the moon. Laney clutched her chest: "I feel like I'm getting breast hyperplasia." Layla looked pale: "I'm about to have a nervous breakdown." I was expressionless: "I feel my brain and lungs aren't doing well." Other things could be tolerated, but secondhand smoke was unbearable. Only non-smokers know how smelly and disgusting it is, not to mention the health risks. Usually, I hold my breath and detour when walking past smokers. I even drop novels if the male lead smokes. Good lord, now I'm getting my fill. Laney suggested: "Should we complain together to change dorms?" Layla shook her head: "Useless. Where would the school find empty dorms? They only 'solve' the person raising the issue." We were honest people, helpless against a rogue, and couldn't be rogues ourselves. I sighed: "Let's go to the hospital first. Don't want to get sick from anger." The checkup results were fine. The doctor said we were under too much stress and told us to rest and stop smoking. Heaven help us, we don't smoke! Seeing the doctor's orders, we sighed again, pained by the hundreds of dollars in checkup fees. Before returning to the dorm, I bought white vinegar and a spray bottle, deciding to spray Zara if she smoked again. Even a rabbit bites when cornered. However, before we could execute the plan, Zara returned drunk almost at dawn. At the same time, the cold mechanical voice sounded. [1. Utilities split evenly, Zara deducted $0.50 less.] [2. Zara smokes cigarettes at $20/pack, 2 packs/day, total $40. Roommates should split the cost. Deducted $10 each from Laney, Layla, and Jay.] WTF! Is there no justice! Zara froze, then laughed maniacally: "See? Karma for going against me! Hahaha." This is intolerable! Furious, I jumped up to appeal. However, the mechanical voice paused, then continued.
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