My fiancé, Lucas, went off to the countryside for a volunteer program and secretly started dating a local girl. When the program ended and he returned to the city, he dumped her cold turkey and married me instead. Later, he found out his ex-girlfriend died in childbirth due to an amniotic fluid embolism. Lucas spent the rest of his life drowning in guilt and depression. He dragged me through a loveless marriage until I died young from illness. On my deathbed, I told Lucas: "If there is a next life, I don't want to make the same mistake." Then, I was reborn. It was the spring of 1977. This time, Lucas chose to stay in the mountains with his country love, Sarah. And I quit my cushy government job to take the college entrance exams. Decades later, I returned to the countryside as a high-ranking official on an inspection tour and met Lucas again. He had built a brick house, farmed land, and had a brood of kids with Sarah. Seeing me dusty and tired from the journey, Lucas sighed: "It's been decades, haven't you moved on? You're not young anymore; just find someone decent and marry." He thought my motion sickness was heartbreak. The next day, a black Mercedes-Benz pulled up to the village entrance to pick me up. Lucas collapsed in the dust. "Didn't you say that even if we tortured each other, you'd haunt me forever?" 1 If I hadn't been accompanying the Governor on this inspection tour, I probably never would have set foot in this backwater again. And I certainly never expected to meet Sarah—the nightmare of my past life—face to face. The sun was high. Her face was flushed with sunburn, but the wrinkles around her eyes couldn't hide her joy. "My Lucas just contracted a few more acres. After the harvest, we're building a new wing for our eldest son's wedding." The village women around her were chirping like birds: "Sarah, you're so lucky! You snagged a capable man!" "Right? Back then, most of those city boys just played around and left. Who else stayed for love?" "Besides the Village Chief, you guys are basically the richest family here, right?" Sarah soaked up the praise like a sponge, feigning modesty: "Oh, stop it. He just got lucky with the new policies. He's not that amazing." But her chin was tilted so high she could probably drink rain. I looked away. It seemed Lucas was doing well in this life. No regrets here. I had never met Sarah in my past life or this one, yet I recognized her instantly. First, because the neighbors had their black-and-white wedding photo on the wall. Second, because in my past life, my husband kept a photo of her at eighteen hidden away, weeping over it constantly. I was about to turn back to find my delegation when I saw Lucas walking over with a few teenagers carrying hoes. They had his eyes. Definitely his and Sarah's kids. In my past life, Lucas and I were engaged since childhood. But during his volunteer stint in the countryside, he had a fling with Sarah. Desperate to return to the city, he abandoned a pregnant Sarah and married me. Shortly after our wedding, news came that Sarah died in childbirth. Lucas was consumed by regret. He never touched me again. I lived like a widow for decades and died alone. This time around, Lucas got his wish. A full house of kids with Sarah. Suddenly, a toddler crashed into my legs. The crying drew everyone's attention. Recognizing me, shock flashed through Lucas's eyes. "Ava? What are you doing here?" I bent down to help the kid up. "I'm here for work." A villager asked, "Lucas, who's she?" Lucas looked uncomfortable. "An old neighbor from the city. We knew each other as kids." A woman nearby sneered. "Look at that city girl frame. Thin as a rake. Probably can't bear children. No wonder Lucas picked Sarah." Hearing this, Sarah puffed out her chest, looking smug. "Just a neighbor. My Lucas has high standards." She looked me up and down with disdain. "Your face is sallow, and you're flat as a board. Can you not afford food?" "I heard you city folks need ration coupons for rice. Unlike us country folk—we grow our own and eat till we burst." I glanced at Sarah's plump figure and smiled politely, ignoring her rudeness. I turned to leave. But a sudden wave of dizziness hit me. The long journey on bumpy roads had given me severe motion sickness. I stumbled. Lucas rushed forward to catch me. Once I was steady, he let go and stepped back quickly. He looked at me with pity. "Ava, it's been years... why torture yourself like this?" Sarah rushed over like a guarding hen, blocking Lucas. "Ava, have some shame! You tried to seduce Lucas when you were girls, and now that he's my man, you chase him all the way here?" Another woman spat on the ground. "Homewrecker! Coming here to ruin a family? We won't let you bully Sarah!" A young wife put her hands on her hips. "City slut! Still playing these games at your age?" Even an old grandma hobbled over, pointing a cane at my nose. "Didn't your parents teach you any morals?" The crowd surged forward, trying to push me out of the village. "Get back to the city! We don't welcome your kind!" I tried to explain, but Lucas stopped the angry mob. "Aunties, please. She's here for me. Let me talk to her... You know I'm a good man!" Lucas looked at me, his voice dripping with condescension. "Ava, haven't you moved on after all these years? Stop living in the past. I have Sarah and the kids now. I'm happy. You're not young anymore. Even if you can't find someone perfect, just settle down." His public declaration of loyalty made Sarah beam. She looked at me with scorn. "I know you're bitter because you met him first. But love isn't first-come-first-served! You're obsessed with him, and you're almost hitting menopause, aren't you?" "Did you come here because you heard Lucas is the richest man in the village now?" Lucas frowned, looking at my dusty clothes. "Didn't you get into college back then? How are you doing so badly you can't even eat properly? You have hands and feet; surely you can find work..." He thought for a moment, then carefully pulled a few crumpled bills from a pocket sewn inside his pants. "Here. I'll get an ox cart to take you to town this afternoon. Buy a bus ticket and go home. Don't come back." 2 I wasn't about to touch money that was still warm from his crotch. I waved my hand. "You misunderstand. I'm not starving. I'm thin because I diet. It's called staying fit." They lived in the mountains; they didn't know that being slim was the trend in the city now. They still thought being fat meant being wealthy. Lucas was convinced I was lying to save face. He tried to shove the money at me. "Ava, stop being stubborn. Take it... Sigh, we aren't strangers... just take it." I stepped back. "No need. I have business here." In the past, I was meek. I never refused him. Lucas was used to controlling me. Seeing me refuse him repeatedly, his face went cold. "Ava, you can't fool me. If I wasn't worried about you dying of hunger in my village, I wouldn't bother!" Sarah scoffed. "Lucas, look at her. She looks drained... I bet she has some nasty disease!" She pulled Lucas back. "Stay away from her. Who knows what she has! I told you, a factory girl like her couldn't get into college legitimately. She probably slept her way in..." Her tone was self-righteous, as if she hadn't seduced an engaged man in a cornfield years ago. Back then, I waited in the city like a fool, unaware they were hooking up. When Lucas first returned to the city in my past life, he was always distracted. When I asked, he just held my hand and said it was nothing. I suspected he had a fling. To quell my doubts, he proposed before he even found a job. That night by the river, he hugged me tight. "Ava, I have you. Why would I look at anyone else? Those country girls are rough and uneducated. Why would I want them when I have you, so soft and sweet?" I thought his distraction was just anxiety about the future. I convinced my parents to let us marry. After the wedding, Lucas took my dad's job at the factory. It was 1977. The college entrance exams were reinstated. My friends were studying. I had the best grades, but I gave up on college because I didn't want to be separated from my new husband. Then came the news of Sarah's death. Lucas changed. He treated me like a plague. When he got laid off in middle age, he gave up. I supported the family and cared for his parents until they died. Only on my deathbed did I realize he didn't just feel guilty—he hated me. He hated me for taking Sarah's place. So, my last words were: "If there is a next life, let's not do this again." In this life, he stayed for Sarah. I chose a different path. I thought we were both happy with our choices. I tried to leave, but Sarah blocked me. "Ava, if you want 'youth compensation fees' from Lucas, forget it. He owes you nothing. He told me everything about your past. It was consensual." "If you're really too poor to treat your 'disease,' stay and cook for the old bachelor in the village. Maybe he'll give you leftovers." The crowd laughed nastily. "Look at the way she walks, shaking her hips. No decent family here wants that. If Sarah wasn't so generous, you wouldn't even get to serve the bachelor." They say poverty breeds malice. I was seeing it firsthand. "I have a job." "I work for the government. I'm here for poverty alleviation research." Lucas sneered. "Ava, you studied all those years for a desk job? Stop pretending. Government clerks just push paper. They don't have the power to come here on inspections." I felt a sudden sadness. I used to love Lucas for his intellect. A few years in the village, and he had become ignorant and shallow. 3 In his mind, making money was the only measure of success. An old man puffed on his pipe. "I heard those government jobs pay peanuts. A month's salary isn't even worth one harvest." The crowd roared with laughter. I didn't want to explain that while my salary wasn't huge, I held the power to decide the future of their entire township. A woman pointed. "Look at her white shirt. It's frayed at the edges. Looks cheap. Even we dress better!" I looked down at my designer shirt with intentional distressing—a style from Paris I picked up on a study trip. Of course, they wouldn't know fashion. And the dust here made everything look gray. "Just leave! If it weren't for the VIPs coming, I'd beat you out of here myself!" Sarah shouted. Just then, the Village Chief ran over, shooing people away. "Scram! The Inspection Team is here! The leaders are resting, but they'll be out soon. This affects our future subsidies, don't mess it up!" Lucas's eyes lit up. "Is it about the land contract policy? Finally!" The Chief nodded. "And there's a big CEO coming from the city. Self-made billionaire. He's looking to partner with us." "If our crops are good, he'll buy everything at double the market rate. No middlemen!" The crowd buzzed with excitement. "That's amazing! The grain collectors were squeezing us dry!" "My kid's tuition is covered!" Sarah shoved me. "Get lost! Don't be an eyesore for the VIPs!" She turned to the Chief with a fawning smile. "Chief, I'm kicking out this old spinster. She's trying to steal my man!" The Chief finally looked at me. His face went pale. "Director Ava? Why aren't you resting in your room?" I smiled politely. "It was stuffy. I came for a walk." The Chief started sweating buckets, bowing repeatedly. "I am so sorry! Our conditions are poor..." He turned and roared at Sarah. "Shut your mouth! This is the Director from the Central Inspection Team! Our VIP!" Lucas froze. "Chief, you're mistaken. She came to find me. She... we were engaged. She's been obsessed with me for years." Sarah put her hands on her hips. "Yeah! She's no VIP! She's a shameless old maid trying to steal my husband!" The Chief looked like he was about to have a stroke. "You idiots! You think your Lucas is some prize? Why would a high-ranking official want him?!" Sarah kept cursing. Lucas looked at me with disappointment. "Ava, I didn't know you sunk this low. Impersonating an official just to win me back? That's a federal crime!" "Let me tell you, even if you were the richest woman in the world, I wouldn't want you! Give up!" Before I could speak, a low hum came from the village entrance. A shiny black Mercedes-Benz rolled slowly into the square. The villagers dropped their tools and swarmed the car. "What is that?" the old man gasped. "Dad, that's a luxury sedan! Only big shots have those!" The Chief rubbed his hands together. "Quick! It's the CEO! Welcome him!" The car door opened. A man in a sharp suit stepped out. Tall, imposing, radiating authority. He shook hands with the Chief, then walked straight to me. He gently wiped the sweat from my forehead. "Motion sickness again?" 4 I smiled up at him. "Just a little. You came all this way?" Mark looked at me tenderly. "Let me see... you're having an allergic reaction too? You always hide it... Besides, your business is my priority." I let him hold my hand. "Where's our son?" "I knew you'd miss him. The road was too rough, so my secretary is watching him at the hotel in town." The Chief's jaw dropped. "Mr. Chen... you and Director Ava are... married?" "Yes," Mark put his arm around my shoulder. "I'm here to support my wife's work. Poverty alleviation." The villagers who had been mocking me were silent. "She really is a leader..." "Sarah is delusional. With a man like that, why would she want Lucas?" "Look at that car. So grand!" The Chief laughed nervously. "Misunderstanding! All a misunderstanding! The villagers didn't recognize Mount Tai. I apologize on their behalf!" I smiled coolly. "Chief, you said the folkways here were simple and honest. I disagree. I need to re-evaluate the application for poverty status." The Chief turned white. Mark cut him off. "Chief, my wife is unwell. We're going to town to rest. We'll talk business later." Lucas stared at me, soul-crushed. "You're married?" I nodded calmly. "Yes. My son is seven." Mark and I were college classmates. He came from a prestigious family with deep political roots. We fell in love slowly. His family didn't care about my humble background. After graduation, I went into government; he went into business during the economic reform. I used to think marriage was a grave. Mark taught me it could be paradise. Seeing how Mark loved me, I finally realized Lucas never truly loved me. I turned to leave. Lucas blocked the car. Through the windshield, he stared at me, eyes bloodshot. Mark squeezed my hand, jealous. "Lucas... that ex-boyfriend?" "No," I said quickly. "Just a neighbor from childhood. Arranged engagement, never real." "Ava! You said you'd wait for me to change my mind!" Lucas screamed. Mark's face darkened. I held him back. "I'll handle it." I got out and looked Lucas in the eye. "Lucas, you remember wrong. I never said that in this life." I emphasized "this life." His face went ghostly pale. "Ava, I know you. You're stubborn. You said even if we tortured each other, you'd haunt me forever!" I sighed. He didn't get it. That was the old Ava. "Lucas, stop living in the past. When you chose Sarah, our fates were sealed. You stayed here; I left. We are strangers now." Sarah grabbed Lucas. "Lucas! What are you doing? I gave you four kids! You can't leave me just because she's rich now!" Lucas shoved her away and yelled at me. "I only stayed with Sarah because I heard you were fooling around with other men in the city! You forgot me! You never wrote!" I was shocked. "Who told you that? You know who I am! And letters? I wrote every week! You didn't get them?" "Sarah told me! She said everyone was talking about it..." Lucas stopped mid-sentence. Sarah was sweating bullets, eyes darting around. He realized the truth. "Sarah! Did you hide Ava's letters? Speak!" Sarah fell to her knees, hugging his leg. "I was wrong, Lucas! I just loved you too much!" Lucas stood there, struck by lightning. "So you never betrayed me... I knew it... you were so perfect..." I felt no hate, just pity. "Lucas, we grew up together. Did you really trust rumors over me?" "Ava... listen..." He slapped Sarah across the face. Hard. Blood sprayed from her nose. He kicked her over. "Stop!" Sarah wailed. Villagers pulled him back. I looked at this violent man with disgust. I turned to leave. Lucas broke free and chased me. "Ava! It was a misunderstanding! Don't go! Let's start over!" I laughed. "Lucas, you have no spine. If you didn't want to sleep with Sarah, could she have forced you?" "It was your weak will." Lucas cried, tears streaming down his face. "Ava, you're lying... you still love me. Or you wouldn't be here." I shook my head. "I forgot you existed until today."
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