My grandma refuses to listen to reason. On the day of my little brother’s SATs—the biggest exam of his life—the whole family was anxious. We begged her to watch the clock and remind him to grab his Admission Ticket. Instead, while he was brushing his teeth, she took the ticket, crumpled it up like trash, and flushed it down the toilet. Whoosh. Gone. My brother turned his backpack inside out but couldn't find it. He missed the exam. His future was ruined before it even started. Then, it was my turn. I was up for a massive promotion at my company, a Director position. I warned her a thousand times not to talk to strangers about family business. What did she do? She went around telling everyone I was "vomiting in the middle of the night." The company heard the rumors, assumed I was secretly pregnant and unmarried, and immediately scratched my name off the candidate list. My dad finally snapped. He decided to send Grandma back to her old house in the countryside. Before leaving, Grandma said she wanted to make a "peace offering" dinner—her famous meatloaf. The kitchen smelled amazing. She brought the steaming dish to the table, smiling like a saint. We were mid-chew when the neighbor started screaming from the window: "Where did my rat poison go?! That stuff is lethal!" Grandma slapped her thigh and yelled, "Oh snap! I thought that was seasoning!" Before she even finished the sentence, our stomachs cramped into knots. We collapsed, foaming at the mouth. We all died. Grandma didn't shed a tear. She immediately moved her illegitimate son and her old lover into our house and lived happily ever after on our life insurance. But when I opened my eyes again, I was standing at the front door on the exact day Grandma was coming to stay. 1 "Son! Open up! It's Mom!" The door banged loudly, shaking the frame. Inside, me, Dad, Mom, and my brother Josh all jumped. Josh’s face went pale. He grabbed Dad’s arm, his voice trembling. "Dad! Don't let her in!" Mom reacted instantly. She ran to the kitchen, grabbed a cleaver, and stormed back. "David! If you let that woman in, I’m divorcing you right now!" Dad, usually a total mama’s boy, looked grim. "Don't worry, Karen! I’m sending her away!" I realized it instantly—my whole family had reincarnated. In our past life, Grandma demanded to come stay to "help" with Josh’s exams. But the shrewd old woman suddenly acted like a senile fool. In the middle of a heatwave, she switched Josh’s AC to 'Heat' while he slept. He woke up with severe heatstroke and almost ended up in the ER. When Mom screamed at her, Grandma played innocent: "I thought he might get cold! I tried to turn it off, but I guess I hit the wrong button!" Dad couldn't bring himself to kick her out. Then came the ticket flushing incident. Her excuse? "I wanted to sew it onto his jacket so he wouldn't lose it, but my hand slipped!" Josh missed college. He became a shell of himself. Then she ruined my career with the pregnancy rumors. She even sabotaged Mom. Mom finally got a shot at hosting a prime-time TV slot. She set three alarms. Grandma deleted them all while Mom was showering. Mom missed the broadcast and was blacklisted by the station. Dad finally tried to kick her out, and she fed us poisoned meatloaf. We died in agony. She lived in luxury with her secret family. 2 Seeing Dad about to charge out, I blocked him. "Dad, if you kick her out now, she’ll throw a tantrum on the lawn. We’ll never have peace," I said quickly. "The neighbors don't know she’s a monster. They just see a poor old widow. If we leave her out there, she’ll ruin our reputation. Josh needs to focus on his exams; he can't handle a scandal right now." Mom’s hand was shaking on the cleaver. "That old witch is evil! I want to chop her up right now to protect you guys! But... going to jail isn't worth it." I clenched my fist. "Since we know her playbook, let her in. We’ll counter every move and expose her true colors to everyone." The family agreed. We opened the door. Grandma, who was mid-fake-sob to the neighbors, froze. I plastered on a smile and grabbed her bags. "Grandma! Sorry, we were cleaning up for you! Mom made your favorite Pot Roast!" Mom forced a smile, tied her apron, and brought out the oily, glistening beef. The neighbors oohed and aahed. "David’s mom is so lucky! Karen is such a good cook!" Grandma’s face dropped. She spat, "She knows I hate fatty meat! She’s doing this on purpose!" Dad stepped up, his voice booming for the whole hallway to hear. "Mom! Stop lying! Whenever there’s a buffet in the village, you pile your plate with meat! You act like a beggar just to make us look bad!" The neighbors started whispering. "Yeah, like that rich lady in building 4 who digs through trash for attention. David and Karen are good people. Stop looking for trouble, old lady." Defeated by public opinion, the neighbors dispersed. 3 Grandma walked in, fuming because her first scheme failed. The second she saw Josh, she put on a fake smile, reaching out to touch his head. "Since the big exam is coming up, I’ll sleep in Josh’s room! I’ll make sure he doesn't kick the blankets off and cook him snacks!" I knew exactly what she was planning. I hugged her arm tightly. "Grandma! I missed you so much! Sleep with me instead!" She couldn't refuse without breaking character. Before bed, she asked me how to use the AC remote. I knew the drill. I deliberately taught her the buttons backward—telling her the 'Heat' button was 'Cool' and vice versa. In the middle of the night, I cracked my eyes open. Grandma crept out of bed and sneaked into Josh’s room. I heard her muttering: "Josh, don't blame Grandma. Your horoscope clashes with Zack’s. If you get into college, Zack loses his spot. Blame your mom for birthing you at the wrong time." Zack was the illegitimate son she had at 40 with the village Handyman, Hank. Hank claimed he found Zack in a dumpster to cover it up. But Zack looked exactly like Hank. The whole village knew, but nobody suspected Grandma because she was "too old." If we hadn't died and seen them living together as a happy family in the afterlife, I never would have guessed that Zack—who was the same age as Josh—was actually my Dad’s half-brother. 4 I was lost in thought when Grandma turned around. She saw me standing there in the dark and screamed like a banshee. "AHHH! GHOST!" I didn't say a word. I turned on a flashlight, pointed it under my chin, and slowly drifted around the living room. Mom and Dad rushed out. I winked. Dad immediately put on a worried face. "Mom, I forgot to tell you. Chloe has severe sleepwalking issues. Don't wander around at night. She’s harmless with a flashlight, but sometimes she grabs a knife..." Grandma rubbed her twisted ankle, groaning. "She never had this before! You’re trying to scare me away!" She didn't buy it. The next night, I saw her get up again, muttering, "Is the remote broken? I set it to 'Heat' but Josh is fine. I need a new plan." She grabbed her cane and headed for Josh’s door. I threw off my covers, marched into the kitchen, grabbed a heavy cleaver, and started hacking at a cutting board. Thwack. Thwack. Grandma side-eyed me but kept going toward Josh’s room. The second her hand touched the knob, I charged at her, raising the cleaver. "Chloe! You little psycho! You trying to kill me?!" she shrieked. I stared blankly through her, pulled the knife back, and swung it wildly near her head. Grandma rolled on the floor, screaming for Dad. Dad came out, looking annoyed. "Mom! I told you not to wander! You can't wake a sleepwalker! Do you want to die?" "I just need to pee!" she lied. "Sleepwalkers don't care," Dad said coldly. "Risk it if you want." Seeing me still holding the knife, Grandma scrambled back to our room on all fours. For the next week, I "sleepwalked" every night, chopping meat in the kitchen. Grandma was too terrified to leave the bedroom. 5 But she was relentless. A few days later, I was waiting for Josh at the school gate. He didn't come out. I ran to his classroom and found him passed out on his desk. I splashed cold water on his face to wake him up. "Josh! Did you pull an all-nighter?" I asked. He looked dazed. "No, Sis. I slept at 10:30. But the second I got to school, my eyelids felt like lead." My heart sank. "Did you eat anything Grandma gave you?" "Just breakfast Mom made," he said. "And a bottle of milk. But the seal was broken." I asked Mom and Dad. Neither of them had opened it. I immediately bought micro-cameras and hid them in the kitchen. The next morning, the footage showed Grandma grinding sleeping pills into the milk. Mom watched the video, shaking with rage. "That monster! She brought sedatives from the village just to drug her own grandson for that bastard Zack!" We couldn't kick her out yet. She was too slippery. Instead, we switched the milk. We gave the drugged bottle to Grandma. She slept all day, snoring like a chainsaw. When she woke up, she groggily asked Josh, "Were you tired at school today?" Josh yawned theatrically. "So tired! I almost fell asleep during the mock exam!" Grandma grinned, her wrinkles bunching up. She thought she’d won. We held back our laughter and kept playing along.
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