I finally met my boyfriend's notorious "female bro" at a party. She operates under the guise of "just one of the guys," flirting shamelessly with other girls' boyfriends and wrecking relationships left and right. Her victims came to me crying: "We can't take it anymore! Please, go teach that 'Pick Me' girl a lesson!" They came to the right person. I'm famous for being a "Green Tea Bitch"—sweet on the outside, scheming on the inside. She wants to fight me? Bring it on. 1 After dating Luke for almost six months, I finally agreed to meet his friends. He wanted to introduce me the first week we started dating, but I was still recovering from a savage tan I got during freshman orientation. A girl needs her recovery period. I’d heard about a celebrity in his circle—Riley. Almost every breakup in the group could be traced back to her. The ex-girlfriends even formed a group chat called "The Avengers," and I was the first recruit. After all, I had a reputation on campus as a master manipulator, a classic "Green Tea." I wasn't about to let the sisters down. I put on my signature "pure lust" makeup and slipped into my battle dress. "Babe, you look gorgeous. They're going to be so jealous of me," Luke said, leaning in for a kiss. I dodged dramatically. "Babe, careful! You almost ruined my makeup." Luke immediately pretended to slap himself. "My bad, my bad." Hand in hand, Luke and I walked into the restaurant. I spotted his bros immediately. Sitting right in the middle, sticking out like a sore thumb, was a girl. That must be Riley. She saw us holding hands and her face dropped instantly. "Luke, you know the rule. Bros only. No girlfriends allowed." "Babe~ Why is she looking at me like that? If I knew she didn't like me, I wouldn't have come." Luke rolled his eyes at her and pulled me closer. He introduced me to his friends loud and proud. "This is my girlfriend, Chloe." His friends started cheering. "Damn, you scored a baddie! If I were you, I'd show her off every day." "Luke, why do you torture me like this? It hurts more than death." Hearing everyone praise me, Riley felt left out and started seeking attention. "Luke, that's not cool. This was supposed to be a boys' night. Bringing a girl is such a buzzkill." She looked me up and down. That look was as gross as a creepy old man checking out a woman. I rolled my eyes internally. Heh, acting like she isn't a girl herself. Luke hugged me tighter. "I organized this dinner. What's wrong with bringing my girlfriend to meet you guys?" Sensing the tension, I tried to smooth things over, but Luke signaled me to ignore her. I raised an eyebrow at her. Sorry, sis, my boyfriend loves me too much. Can't help it. "Alright, alright, old rules. New friend means we take a group photo." Luke's friends were enthusiastic, pushing me to the center. Riley wasn't having it. She walked over and shoved me aside. She huffed, "You guys see a pretty girl and lose your minds. I always stand in the middle! You bunch of simps." The guys looked awkward, scratching their heads, and moved her to the center. "Since when is that a rule? I didn't know that," Luke muttered. I sneered internally. Of course, the "Pick Me" girl wants to be the center of attention. When we took the photo, Riley reached out to put her arm around my boyfriend's waist. I saw it coming and swapped places with him. "Sis, only I get to touch my boyfriend's waist. If you want to touch someone, touch your other bros." Riley laughed awkwardly. "Little sister, you're overthinking it. Luke and I are bros. Now that he has a girlfriend, he can't even get a bro hug?" She looked at Luke expectantly, waiting for him to choose. Are you kidding me, lady? That's my boyfriend! Two can play at this game. I turned and buried my face in Luke's chest. "Babe, she really seems to hate me. Doesn't she know girls get possessive when they're in love? Boohoo." Luke took the hint perfectly. He frowned at Riley immediately. "Stop having such an attitude with my girlfriend." Riley didn't dare get angry if she wanted to keep her "cool girl" persona. She had to swallow her rage. Little girl, trying to fight me? Your level is too low. We sat down to eat. As soon as I sat, Riley told me to get up. "That's my seat." I looked aggrieved—fake, of course. Luke pushed me back down just as I was about to stand. "Why are you listening to her? She's spoiled. My girlfriend sits here." Riley's face turned green, but she slunk away to sit on the other side of my boyfriend. Now the seating was: Me, Luke, Riley. Luke put food on my plate. Riley put food on Luke's plate. "Luke, eat more. You've been sluggish on the court lately." Unexpectedly, my straight-guy boyfriend looked disgusted. "Don't put food on my plate! Your chopsticks have your saliva on them, how am I supposed to eat that?" I cracked up. Seeing Riley clench her fists, I quickly tried to diffuse the situation—sarcastically. "Babe, be nicer. Sister is so thoughtful, giving you food. Unlike me, I only know how to eat..." See, "Bro" Sister? I treat you well. Riley was speechless. Probably the first time she met a worthy opponent, she panicked. I didn't expect Luke to defend me so hard. Looks like it's not just Riley's problem; it depends on the man's attitude too. Luke's stomach had been acting up, so I didn't want him drinking. Riley insisted he drink. "Seriously, Luke, what's wrong with you? We used to drink every day. Or is it... your girl won't let you?" Riley gave me a meaningful look. She meant I was controlling him. Fine, I'll drink with her. As I stood up, I noticed a shadow cross her eyes. "How much can a girl like you drink?" Her tone was dismissive. I held up one finger. She laughed. "Just one glass?" Me: "Until one of us drops." 2 Everyone stared at me. Even Luke thought it was impossible. They definitely didn't expect that under my sweet exterior lay a liver of steel. I got my tolerance from my dad. No one has ever out-drunk me. Riley wasn't convinced. She felt challenged. So began the battle of the Teas. One glass for her, one for me... After three rounds, she was drunk. I was just getting started. She kept going, and no one stopped her. They were all trying to stop me. "Riley, stop drinking with the little sister. You're bullying her," Luke's friend, Tyler, said, trying to stop me. My boyfriend wouldn't let me drink either. But no one cared about the wasted Riley. I just get flushed when I drink, but my mind is clear. She was actually wasted. "Sister, you can't out-drink me. Let's stop," I said. That hurt her ego. "Luke, what does your girlfriend mean? Is she looking down on me?" I looked at Luke like a frightened bunny. "No, I'm just worried about Sister's health. What if she gets sick?" Riley finally snapped, glaring at me viciously. Luke shook his head at me, signaling to ignore her. The atmosphere was awkward. To stop Riley from drinking, the bros changed the subject. "Hey Luke, where are we going next?" Luke asked if I was tired. I'm a night owl; life begins at midnight. Of course I wasn't tired. After discussing it, Luke said we were going to a karaoke bar. On the way, Riley stumbled around, constantly "falling" into Luke's arms. But every time, my boyfriend dodged with precision. "Luke! I'm this drunk and you won't even help me?!" Maybe the day's frustration made Riley finally explode. I watched her tantrum coldly. There were plenty of single guys behind us. Why did she need my boyfriend to help her? Her intentions were obvious. Seeing Luke look at her like she was a monster, Riley lowered her head in disappointment. "You have a girlfriend and now you ignore me? Back in the day, we even shared a bed, and now you ignore me for some girl!" Shared a bed? I looked at Luke suspiciously, demanding an explanation. Luke stood up abruptly, angry and shocked. "What the hell do you mean? Who the f*ck slept in a bed with you? Are you just spewing nonsense now?! I gave you enough face today, Riley. If you talk trash again, you're out of this circle." Seeing the mood turn sour, his friends were torn. They tried to calm Luke and Riley. "Bro, she's just drunk. Don't take it to heart, sister. She loves joking around. We've all been pranked." Seems like they enjoy being "pranked." I lowered my head and sighed. "Sigh, Riley is amazing. If I had her mouth, I'd have dated dozens of guys by now." Let's see who breaks first. As far as I know, Riley has never had a boyfriend. Simple reason: the girl who seems popular with guys is actually the one desperately maintaining the relationships. Guys are visual creatures. One look at Riley... and they probably lose interest. Only these bros who don't cherish their girlfriends hang out with her. They aren't stupid; they just enjoy the attention. "Why isn't Sister talking... Don't tell me Sister is so skilled but has never dated... Omo." Luke looked at me with relief. His friend tugged his shirt. "Control your girlfriend, tell her to say less." He whispered it, but I have good ears. Tch, what kind of crappy friends. I rolled my eyes internally. Riley ignored me and told us to be quiet. She waved her phone in front of my face. "Luke's mom is calling. Everyone shut up." 3 Thinking her savior had arrived, she deliberately put it on speaker and turned up the volume. "Auntie~ Yes, yes, Luke is with me. We had a little drink, don't worry, I'll take care of him." Luke was confused. "How does my mom have your number?" Judging by Luke's expression, he didn't know what tricks Riley used either. He looked like a heartbroken puppy trying desperately to distance himself from Riley. I cleared my throat. "Hi Auntie! Luke hasn't had a chance to introduce me yet. I'll come visit you in a few days." She dares to dance in front of the main character? Know your place. Riley panicked, clutching the phone to her chest. "Are you crazy? Who said you could talk?" Auntie sounded confused, asking who was speaking. Riley hung up in a hurry. I didn't understand the behavior, but I had a preliminary guess. "Sister hung up too fast. I wanted to chat with my future mother-in-law." I winked at her. She ignored me and glared. Luke was still wondering why she had his mom's number. Before I noticed the change in everyone's expression, I continued, "Sister Riley is really amazing. If it were me, I wouldn't dare to be so close to boys. I get shy just looking at them, let alone asking for their mom's number. So awkward." Some people couldn't sit still anymore and stood up for Riley. "Luke, control your girlfriend. Why is everyone usually fine, but today is so unpleasant?" "Luke, you really are... Riley has known us for so long. You're forgetting your bros for a girl." I'm being such a Green Tea and they don't feel bad for me, but for the "Pick Me" girl? Seems guys can't tell the difference between teas... I felt a bit defeated for the first time. Riley has quite a few simps; she's not easy to deal with. These guys... I can only say they deserve to be dumped by the pretty sisters. I want to drive a forklift and scoop them all out. Luke didn't look happy, so I had to use my ultimate move. "Sob sob, sorry, it's my fault. I won't come to your dinners anymore. I won't ruin your relationships again." With that, I ran out. I don't believe Luke won't come to comfort me. When I got downstairs, I pretended to hail a cab. Luke hugged me from behind. "Sorry babe... I let you suffer today. If you don't go, I won't go either. Let's go have a candlelight dinner." I saw Riley coming down out of the corner of my eye. I immediately turned around and acted spoiled in Luke's arms. I gave Riley a provocative look. You got the skills to steal my boyfriend? Come and get him. Riley was grinding her teeth. Luke noticed Riley too, but he didn't want to engage. Without saying goodbye to his friends, he put me in the car and drove home. Just as the car started, Riley collapsed in front of it. Still acting... I thought Luke would get out to help her, but he just drove around her lying on the ground. That was undoubtedly a huge insult to her. But she asked for it. 4 Luke and I got home and lay in bed... I don't know what he was thinking, but my brain was full of ways to get revenge on the Pick Me girl. Oh right, I suddenly remembered I was too busy fighting all night to check my phone. Sure enough... opened WeChat, group chat 999+. I had to scroll all the way back. The sisters were all @ing me. "How is Chloe? Did she cough up blood from anger?" "I think Chloe's combat power is pretty high. She might have pissed Riley off to death." "Where is Chloe? Why isn't she reporting the battle situation?" "Let's give Chloe some time. I estimate the battle is fierce right now, no hands to reply." I sent a "1". The chat exploded. "Damn girl, you're finally back." I typed out everything that happened today, word for word. I even imitated Riley's passive-aggressive tone and how I roasted her back. The group chat was hurting my eyes. Luke was depressed beside me. "Stop playing on your phone. Comfort my wounded soul." I rolled my eyes directly. No one around, mask off. "I'm the one dying of anger because of your female bro and your good bros. Why don't you comfort me?" Luke instantly backed down and started massaging my shoulders. "What female bro? If they hadn't insisted on bringing Riley, I wouldn't even know her. And let me say this first, I'm not close to her at all. Before dating you, I never spoke to her. I really find her annoying. Several couples in my friend group broke up because of her..." I clapped. Good riddance! Meeting those guys was bad luck for the pretty sisters anyway. Those girls' biggest stain is their exes. "Babe~ Honestly, I don't like your friends. I feel like they don't like me either... If they really respected you, why defend Riley?" I'm kinda good at sowing discord. Like they say, set a thief to catch a thief. My morals are loose enough to handle them. If the direct approach doesn't work, I'll use the shadows. Luke hesitated, but seeing how wronged I was today, he decided to stab his bros in the back. "It shouldn't be like this for someone with your values to make friends. I say... next time we don't invite them." With my instigation, Luke became firmer in his choice. But we felt like something wasn't resolved. Oh! I remember. Why did Luke's mom have Riley's number? Logically, they weren't childhood sweethearts or neighbors. Just met in college, introduced by his bros. Shouldn't have his mom's number if they aren't close. Are people perverted enough to save a stranger's parent's number? The more Luke thought about it, the creepier it got. Goosebumps. His mom happened to video call. Let's solve this together. I stayed out of frame to touch up my makeup. His mom sounded confused. "Son, did you fight with Riley? What's going on? Why bring a girl to a gathering? Won't she get jealous? Mom doesn't allow you to do that." Luke was even more confused. I was lost too. "Mom, what do you mean? Why would Riley get jealous? I brought my girlfriend." His mom froze completely. It took her ten seconds to react. "Son, Mom is confused. You brought your girlfriend? Then Riley..." "I have nothing to do with Riley. Who told you that?" Luke interrupted his mom. His mom felt baffled too. "Let me tell you the whole story... That day I went to your college to bring you some homemade snacks. I happened to meet a girl and asked if she knew you. She said she was your girlfriend. I didn't believe it at first—my son has such bad taste? After knowing I was your mom, she asked for my number and said she'd visit me. That's it." Luke's face was cold, veins popping. I felt like he wanted to smash the phone. Actually, I was on a call with the sisters in the group chat. Hearing this tea, they didn't dare make a sound. The group exploded again... I stepped forward to comfort Auntie. "Auntie, hello, I'm Luke's real girlfriend, Chloe. Don't stress, we'll handle it internally..." I felt Luke's mom's eyes light up. "Oh my god, daughter, you are so pretty! No comparison, no harm. That liar pissed me off. I'm blocking her right now." I wanted to say more, but my phone kept buzzing. I had to say I had private matters to attend to. I checked. 999+ again. "Chloe, don't let Auntie block her! I have a great idea." "Chloe, we came up with a good play. Stabilize your boyfriend and his mom first." I had to follow their lead. I couldn't think of a way to deal with Riley anyway. "Auntie, don't block her yet. Might be useful later." Luke pouted. Hearing this, his mom didn't dare act rashly, only sighing and complaining about being deceived. For the next hour, his mom roasted Riley.
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