My period was late for three months, and suddenly, I gave birth to a cute little snow leopard. Looking at my boyfriend's guilty expression, I smiled gently. "Honey," I said sweetly, "how many more surprises are you hiding from Daddy?" 1 Staring at the tiny, fluffy ball of a snow leopard curled up in the stroller, I took deep breath after deep breath. Finally, I felt calm enough to speak. I looked at the man hanging his head like a thief caught red-handed. "Leo," I said, "you better come up with an explanation that earns you a key back into this house." Leo's head drooped lower, his two round, white ears twitching nervously. "I'm sorry. I didn't think the cub would be born without the ability to shapeshift." My fist clenched. "Is that the point?" "Isn't it?" Seeing my expression darken, he quickly added, "Only cubs are this dumb! I'm not dumb! I shapeshifted super fast!" I grabbed a throw pillow, ready to smack him. "Don't you dare tell me our child's IQ comes from you!" 2 I never thought I'd have a kid this soon. To be precise, I didn't even know I was pregnant. Can someone explain how a three-month late period turns into a baby? Or, well, a cub? How did I get pregnant? And how did I give birth so fast? 3 Here's what happened. Last night, my stomach started hurting. I thought, finally, Aunt Flo is here. I was about to make some hot chocolate to celebrate when Leo panicked and rushed me to the hospital. I thought he was being dramatic. Until the doctor didn't ask questions, didn't run tests, and wheeled me straight into the delivery room. Seeing Leo locked outside, telling me not to be nervous, I started to panic for real. I kept explaining, "I'm just having cramps! My period is late!" They ignored me completely, methodically preparing for... a delivery. I was changed into a gown, lying on the table with zero dignity, listening to them report "maternal vitals." I made one last struggle: "No, really, it's just late..." Wait. Something felt wrong. Was I... actually pregnant?! 4 When I painlessly birthed a kitten-sized snow leopard, my first thought wasn't to doubt myself or the world. It was to look at the medical staff. I expected screams. Horror. Panic. There was none. Not only were they not scared, they were cooing over the cub, who hadn't even opened his eyes yet. I vaguely heard their hushed, excited whispers. "Why is the snow leopard cub so cute?" "Way cuter than his dad." Great. Either I'm dreaming, or the world is ending. Exhausted, I took one last look at the cub surrounded by adoring fans and passed out. Good news: I woke up in a hospital room, not the delivery room. Bad news: I wasn't dreaming. 5 The more I thought about it, the fishier it got. The past few months, I'd been moody and had no appetite. Leo had been patiently finding all sorts of foods to coax me into eating. It was hard not to suspect he knew I was pregnant all along. I grabbed Leo by his round ears. "You knew I was pregnant, didn't you?" Leo has a gorgeous face and stands at 6'3". A walking hormone. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been tricked. Only after being tricked did I realize his brain operates on a different frequency than normal humans. Leo covered his other ear, nodding pitifully. You feel wronged? "Then why didn't you tell me?" Does he know the trauma of being wheeled into a delivery room for period cramps? And then birthing a snow leopard?! Does he know how much I doubted reality?! Leo nuzzled my hand apologetically. "I was afraid you wouldn't like him. But even though he can't shapeshift yet, he loves you very much." I stroked his ear, forcing myself to push him away. "What mother wouldn't like her own child?" Even if it's not a human child, but a snow leopard cub. Sleeping on his stomach... he really is cute. If I hadn't birthed him, I'd love him even more. Seeing the hope in Leo's eyes, I added, "However, the child's father is a different story. I like him significantly less right now." The light in his eyes went out. His ears drooped lifelessly. 6 I reached out and touched his head, expressionless. "So you're a snow leopard too?" Leo nodded. Great. I need a cookie to calm down. I slept with an endangered species. Is that a crime? Seeing my silence, he added, "But no one else knows. My security measures are excellent..." His voice trailed off. I scoffed. "Excellent? So excellent that your Daddy here—" "Let Uncle see the cute little leopard!" The ward door burst open, and a crowd of people in white coats swarmed in. Their expressions were... a bit perverted. Especially the guy in front, practically diving onto the crib. He looked human enough, but his expression was weird. I looked at Leo. "Your brother?" He shook his head immediately. "He's a leopard (panther), not as good-looking as me." I almost choked. What leopard? Was the world I lived in before fake? Suddenly, my head hurt. Was I growing a brain? 7 Leo got nervous. "What's wrong, Evie? Are you okay? Dr. You, come here!" Wait, that leopard is named Dr. You? Dr. You leaned over the crib. "Don't panic. She has Postpartum Reality Dysmorphia." Such a long name. Leo looked dumbfounded. "Is it serious?" He hugged me, choking up. "I'm sorry, Evie. I made you suffer. I'll stay with you forever..." His crying made my ears ring. My head spun more. Dr. You rolled his eyes. "Loosen your grip. You're crushing her. It's not terminal." "Did you seriously not tell her your true identity before?" A girl in the crowd chimed in, "No wonder she looked like she doubted the world after giving birth yesterday." I recognized that voice. The one who called the cub cute in the delivery room. Okay. I'm not dreaming. The world has gone mad! I pushed Leo away and met the gaze of the white-coated crowd... staring at Leo. He scratched his head. "I was too happy being with Evie, I forgot..." My eye roll couldn't be held back. "You're not a goldfish. How can your memory be that bad?" Someone in the crowd whispered weakly, "Um... us fish actually have pretty good memories." "..." I almost choked on my spit. Just as I was about to apologize to the fish-bro, someone challenged him. "Good memory? Recite the multiplication table then." Fish-bro got angry. "Dead toad! Go croak in the field, not in the hospital!" Toad-bro snapped back. "You're the toad! I'm a Golden Toad!" "I'm not a toad, I'm a Chinese Paddlefish, critically endangered! What are you?" Leo roared, "Quiet! You're disturbing Evie! Get out, or I'll eat you one by one!" Silence for a few seconds. The white coats vanished instantly. "Evie, did they disturb you?" I was enjoying the show. I looked at him unhappily. "You disturbed me." 8 "You like listening to me talk to you." Leo propped his head on the bed, looking at me. With that face right in front of me, my heart took a critical hit. I sinned. I reached out my sinful hand and rubbed his ears. Leo nuzzled my hand obediently. Oh my god. I want to do unspeakable things to him! Maybe my gaze was too hot. Leo looked up, laughter spilling from his beautiful blue eyes. He leaned in and kissed me. "Hey! Watch the PDA!" Dr. You's heartbroken voice made me blush. Leo was thick-skinned. He retorted, "Why haven't you left? Have some shame! Why are you watching this?" I buried my face in Leo's chest, silently agreeing. "If I don't come, are you going to cure your mate's Postpartum Reality Dysmorphia?" Leo was silent for a few seconds, then shouted, "Then cure her quickly! You said you were a great doctor!" "It's a mental block! Any normal human who finds out demons exist would doubt reality!" I lifted my head. "Demons? Demon what?" Dr. You looked vindicated. "See? The dysmorphia is getting worse."
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