1 I’m living with the guy who made my high school years a living hell. When the morning light hits the room, I barely shift my arm. The arm clamped around my waist just tightens, pulling me flush against him. Sebastian buries his face in my neck, his voice rasping with that morning gravel. "Did you sleep at all last night?" I freeze for a second, then nod obediently. Before, I might have fought it. But he spent the last three weeks teaching me a very specific lesson: Submission is survival. He grabs my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine, playing with them like they’re toys. He chuckles into my hair, sounding amused. "Didn't throw the ring away this time?" ... He means the diamond on my ring finger. There were two before this. One I hid in the freezer. The other I chucked into the complex’s fountain. I don’t want to think about the consequences of those first two attempts. But the consequence of this third ring is clear: I am going to marry him. The man I fear most in this world. 2 I love shower time. It’s the only time I don’t have to look at him. The only time the memories don't choke me. But staring into the fogged-up mirror, even the steam can’t hide the marks on my skin. My eyes are bloodshot. I stare at my reflection like a ghost. Then comes the slow, rhythmic knock. Sebastian. "Taking a while in there, Chloe." "Come out, or I’m coming in." ... He’s done it before. No boundaries. I shut off the water instantly and wrap a towel around myself. ... Breakfast is laid out perfectly, but Sebastian doesn't have time to eat. The news is playing on the TV. He’s tying his tie with practiced, elegant movements. Catching me staring, he leans over and taps my nose. "Like the view? Maybe you can tie it for me next time." I look away. He just chuckles, unbothered. Then, just to mess with me, he picks up my glass of milk, finds the lipstick stain on the rim, and drinks from the exact same spot. ... "Be good. Wait for me." "We’re fitting for wedding dresses tonight." 3 Sebastian leaves. I stare at the TV for a long time. Then I pick up the glass he just drank from and hurl it at the screen. The TV screen glitches, spiderwebbing, and the glass shatters on the floor. The crash brings the maids running, gasping. I just curl up in the chair, hugging my knees, and cry. ... Sebastian was my nightmare. Back in high school, he was the king of the bullies. He once threw my backpack out of a third-story window. He orchestrated the isolation. Because of him, girls dragged me into the bathroom and slapped me. No one dared to help me. Sebastian is the heir to the Shen Group. His family literally donated the library wing. He led the charge, and bullying me became the class trend. They say he was the dream guy for half the school. To me, he was the demon that kept me awake at night. And now, seven years later. He says he wants to marry me. 4 I still shake when I see him. Old habits die hard. Even after sharing a bed with him for three weeks. No one helped me. My mom found out Sebastian Shen wanted to marry me and basically thanked God. He switched cars today. This one has a spacious backseat. I hate it. The partition is up. The driver can't see or hear what happens back here. But Sebastian is quieter today. I’m trembling. The AC is on, but I’m shaking like a leaf. He pulls me into his lap, ignoring my resistance. "Chloe, are you really that scared?" His voice is low, teasing my ear. He knows exactly why I’m like this. "We're just picking a dress. Relax, okay?" I try to stop shaking, but a bitter laugh escapes my throat. Who would believe it? The guy who pushed me into the abyss is now whispering sweet nothings about wedding gowns. 5 The bridal shop is inside a private villa. Crystal chandeliers. Gowns that cost more than my life shimmering on mannequins. I don’t care. I don’t want to choose. I let Sebastian talk to the designer about custom fits. I let the assistants measure me like a doll. The villa has a backyard garden. I’m more interested in that. While they talk, I hike up the skirt and slip out the back door. There’s a gate past the garden. Maybe past that gate is freedom. I’ve thought about running a thousand times. But every time I work up the courage, I realize I have nowhere to go. My mom thinks I’ve hit the jackpot. She told me to stop being dramatic. I sit by the koi pond until Sebastian finds me. "Whatcha thinking about?" He’s looming over me again. High and mighty. I hold out my arm. There’s a small, circular scar on my wrist. Raised, pink skin. "Look. Your cigarette burn." High school. One day he was in a bad mood, dragged me to a corner, and put a cigarette out on my skin. It hurt so bad I forgot what happened after. Sebastian stares at it for a long time. Then he crouches down. I hate admitting it, but his face is perfect. Like a marble statue carved by a master. If he looked at anyone with soft eyes, they’d drown in them. The Bible was right. The devil has the most beautiful face. The flame of a lighter flickers. He lights a cigarette right in front of me. I flinch, terrified he’s going to burn me again. But he doesn’t. Without breaking eye contact, he presses the lit cigarette into his own wrist. Same spot as mine. He watches the smoke rise, calm as a frozen lake. "Feel any better, Chloe?" "..." I look down. The ash mixes with fresh blistered skin. It looks agonizing. Suddenly, he pulls me into a hug. "Chloe... if only I could take some of your pain for myself." Fireflies drift over the pond. I stare at the moonlight reflecting on the water. "Sebastian, you’re the one who gave me the pain." He stiffens. Then, slowly, he strokes my hair. "Then let me atone for it. Okay?" "..." 6 This morning, after Sebastian left, I threw my milk at the TV again. Usually, the maids just heat up another cup and bring it to me. But today, I didn't want it. I used to love milk. My mom always packed a carton for me in high school. Until one day. Sebastian was sitting on my desk. He loomed over me, casting a shadow. Someone laughed. Someone said, "Let's have some fun, Sebastian." He smiled at me and held out his hand. I handed him my milk. He unscrewed the cap. Before I could smell it, white liquid poured over my head. My nose, my collarbones, my uniform skirt. Everything was sticky and wet. I was crying. Everyone else was laughing. "Look at her. Trying to seduce him like that?" "God, Sebastian, you have weird tastes." He wiped my cheek with his thumb, staring at me. Then he sneered. "Ugly." ... So now, I hate milk. But I hate Sebastian more. When I knocked over the second glass today, the maid almost knelt. "Miss... please just drink it..." I refused. My eyes landed on the landline. I crawled over and dialed the only number it allows. A man answered. Not Sebastian. "Miss Qin?" It was his assistant. The driver. "I need Sebastian." "He's in a board meeting, Miss Qin..." "I'm coming over." I hung up. The security at the villa let me pass. I’m the future Mrs. Shen, after all. I walked straight into his corporate HQ. Up to the top floor. No one stopped me. Only when I reached the conference room did the assistant try to block me. "Miss Qin, you can wait in the lounge..." I shoved the heavy doors open. 7 Sometimes I don't know what I want. Maybe I just want to drag someone down into the dark with me. Or maybe I want to make such a scene that he realizes I’m worthless. If I’m worthless, I don’t have to wonder if I’m savable. The room is full of middle-aged men in suits. Sebastian sits at the head of the table. He looks out of place—too young, too handsome, too cold. Forty pairs of eyes land on me. Maybe the AC is too strong. I start shaking. Then, I’m being held. It’s the first time I smell smoke on him. Cold and cruel. "When did you get here?" A second ago he was tearing into his executives. Now his voice is soft. ... The meeting is paused. He carries me into his office. It’s huge. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. From up here, the people below look like ants. He looks like a god who could crush anyone. Especially me. He tosses me onto the bed in the adjoining lounge. He loosens his tie, red silk slipping through his fingers. I interrupted his meeting. He’s mad. He’s not actually that patient with me. "Missed me that much?" He plays with my hair. I stare at him blankly. "Sebastian, do you have milk?" He pauses. This is his private suite. His shirts and suits are scattered around. He goes to the mini-fridge and pulls out a carton. "We ran out at home...?" Before he finishes, I snatch it. I unscrew the cap. And I pour the entire carton over his head. He just stands there. He could have dodged. He has the reflexes. But he lets the white liquid soak his hair, his expensive suit. I look up at him. Dammit, he still looks handsome. "Sebastian. This is how you poured milk on me back then." I say every word clearly. ... I doubt anyone has ever made him look this pathetic. Milk drips down his eyebrow. He clenches his jaw. Then, he chuckles. He reaches into the fridge and grabs another carton. I don’t realize what’s happening until he unscrews the cap. My eyes go wide. The milk is ice cold. He pours it over my head. I shiver violently as it runs down my chin, into my shirt. It feels colder than I remember. ... I heard the cleaning ladies gossiping once. calling me crazy. Saying I’m lucky to marry him. But Sebastian? He’s crazier than I am. He finishes pouring, then gently brushes wet hair from my cheek. "Now we're the same." I shove him away. "Chloe, you know it's not good to make me angry, right?" He grabs my chin. I’m not scared of him, exactly. I just don't want him angry. I hate the consequences. He carries me into the bathroom. The steam blurs his silhouette. "Sebastian, seven years... why did you come back for me?" My voice is hoarse. I feel like I’m dying. His answer, as always, is silence. 8 He puts me to bed. Tucks me in like a child. I haven't slept well in days. Someone changed the sheets while we were in the shower. No scent of him. I fall asleep fast. My dreams are fragmented. High school trauma playing on a loop. Half-awake, I hear voices. Maids cleaning the room next door. "You know who that girl was? The one who crashed the meeting?" "Miss Qin. The boss's fiancée." "God, she has no class." "Mr. Shen spoils her..." "Why? I've never seen her before a few weeks ago." "I heard... just rumors... he found her recently." "Because she looks exactly like his first love." "He couldn't get the real girl, so he settled for a dupe."
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