My fifty-year-old Dad, George, finally found love and married Lana, a trophy wife ten years younger. Month one: She batted her lashes and sweet-talked Dad into giving her $\$100,000$ for her son's new house. Month two: She cuddled up to Dad, convincing him to hand over another $\$100,000$ for her daughter's new car. My wife, Mia, was annoyed, worried about the growing list of claimants to the family fortune. I reassured her: "Dad's struggled for years. He finally found someone he likes. Let him be happy." Then, month three: The stepmother, wearing a lace nightgown, conveniently "slipped" and fell right onto me. Hold up. I thought she was after our money. Turns out, she wanted to challenge my wife for me? 1 I was doing my weekend workout. After stretching, I was ready for a shower when my stepmother, Lana, walked out of the bathroom. I frowned. She was wearing a skimpy lace slip. Her head was still dripping wet, the water running down her front, making the lace translucent. I looked away immediately to avoid any awkwardness, pretending to be busy arranging my clothes. As I passed her, she "slipped," tumbling right into me. I was fatigued from the workout, my muscles not yet relaxed. I was completely knocked off balance, landing with her pressed against me near the sofa. Before I could push her away, she ran her hands slowly up my abs. "Oh, Jay. You have a beautiful body." "You know, your father, he..." She leaned closer, her hot breath on my neck. I shivered. Seriously? Was she trying to seduce me? Did a 45-year-old woman think she was irresistible, trying to catch both father and son? I finally understood, and just as I prepared to hit her, the front door opened. It was my wife, Mia. Lana sprang up with lightning speed, smoothing her skirt, looking utterly "bashful." "I just slipped, Mia. Jay caught me." My heart hammered. What the hell, lady? Why are you blushing? I couldn't hold back the scream. "You crazy old lady! Get your slobber off your mouth!" 2 The scene ended with Lana retreating, face red with rage, and my wife, Mia, leading me back to the bedroom, pinching my ear, looking like she wanted to kill me. I knelt miserably on the keyboard. "Honey, I swear I'm innocent!" "I was about to shower! I turned around, and she just flew at me!" "God knows why she was dressed like that!" I didn't react quickly enough, and she definitely groped me. The thought of her slightly wrinkled skin touching my abs made me shiver, and my stomach churned. If Mia hadn't walked in, I don't know how much more she would have taken. Mia shot me a look. "Do I look like an idiot?" "Of course not!" I yelled. "Exactly," Mia said. "That means you couldn't possibly be interested in that old hag. I'm mad because I told you to deal with her, and you didn't. Now she's making a move on us!" I sighed deeply. Who could have seen this coming? Since my mom died fifteen years ago, Dad never remarried. As a man, I understood the appeal of a loving partner, so after I became an adult, I constantly encouraged him to find someone. But he never wanted to—until Lana. In just a few days, she completely charmed him. Every day was "Your Lana this" and "Your Lana that," sometimes with a blush on his face. The man looked years younger. When I saw them acting sweet, I even played matchmaker. When they got married, I gave Lana a generous wedding gift, thanking her for rescuing my perpetually single father. She initially played humble, saying, "Thank you for your generosity, Jay, but I only care about your father. Taking money would cheapen it." But a month later, she batted her lashes and asked Dad for $\$100,000$ for her son's house. Month two, she leaned on him and asked for another $\$100,000$ for her daughter's car. Dad always happily transferred the money without a word. Mia often warned me, "I don't trust Lana. You need to watch her." "What respectable middle-aged woman demands money right after getting married?" "She's too obviously greedy." Though I agreed she was greedy, I defended her. "It's fine. She just got married and wants to take care of her kids first. She'll focus on Dad later." "Besides, Dad saved up a lot over the years. It's fine for him to spend some on his wife, as long as they're happy." But the reality was a slap in the face. Lana didn't seem to want a quiet life at all! Now I remembered. She was always "accidentally" touching me before. Bumping my hand while handing me water, or grazing my shoulder in the hall. I thought it was just coincidence in our small house. Turns out, she was lonely and after my body! "Honey, what do we do? Tell Dad everything?" Mia was cautious. "They're still in the honeymoon phase. It might be hard for him to believe us." I threw myself onto the bed, covering my head with a pillow. This involved a man's dignity. Even as his son, telling him his wife was a fraud would be incredibly difficult. 3 The next morning, only Mia, Dad, and I were at the breakfast table. I asked, "Where's Lana?" If she was absent, I could test the waters with Dad. Dad took a sip of soup and said slowly, "Her daughter woke up sick this morning. She went to look after her." I blurted out, "Dad, you didn't transfer her more money, did you?" "That's not the point," he said, pausing. "Jay, you need to be more careful at home. We have a woman living here now, and you need to be mindful." I was completely confused. "What do you mean?" He coughed awkwardly, sounding displeased. "Yesterday, you were changing and ran into Lana after your shower, didn't you?" "You're a man, she's a woman. She didn't want to look, but you need to be more conscious. She felt awkward telling you, but you need to pay attention." The food in my throat felt stuck. I hadn't even exposed her yet, and she had already twisted the story and complained about me! The smear campaign was effective. Even if I told Dad the truth now, he'd be skeptical. That old hag was not only shamelessly aggressive but also incredibly calculating. I considered arguing, but Mia secretly kicked my leg and jumped into the conversation. "No problem, Dad. I'll remind Jay to be more mindful." Fine. Listen to the wife. First battle lost. After Dad left for his walk, I looked at Mia and raised my hands in surrender. "Wife, I respect your judgment. You are a genius. Please tell me what to do. I'm launching Operation: Protect the Family!" 4 Lana didn't show any unusual behavior when she returned. She acted like a normal stepmother. Mia and I hadn't figured out a full plan yet when she started causing trouble again. Dad said, "Your Aunt Lana's granddaughter needs a spot in kindergarten. I need to pull some strings." Lana married early, having a son and daughter. We met them once for a family dinner. Her son, older than me, had a daughter who was now kindergarten age. When Dad was playing with the kid, he asked about school. Lana's son, calling him "Dad" constantly, said he was waiting for George to help them arrange it. Dad, flattered, promised he would handle it. Finding a good school wasn't the issue. Public kindergartens are popular but not impossible. I didn't mind. "Go ahead and find one." Dad looked awkward. "It's going to cost a bit. Most of my money is in term deposits. Can you loan me some?" "What kind of school costs that much?" Lana quickly grabbed Dad's hand, looking upset. "It's my fault. I told my son not to ask for too much, but he said he knew an old manager who owed him a favor. The manager could arrange it, but he just needed a bit of cash." "George, I only mentioned it in passing. Don't worry about the money. If it's too much, the child can go to a regular school. I don't want to cause trouble for you or Jay." She poured on the sweet talk. But Dad ate it up. "Nonsense. Lily is my granddaughter now. Jay, just give me $\$50,000$. I'll add another $\$50,000$. I'll pay you back when the deposit matures next year." "Dad, I think Aunt Lana's being scammed!" Mia covered her mouth in shock. "Getting into kindergarten is easy! What kind of connection costs this much?" "I have a friend who teaches at Dual Star Academy!" "A friend of mine used her to get her kid into school. It cost a bit, but nowhere near $\$100,000$!" "I think your old manager might not have strong connections and is trying to charge an insane amount. I have a cheaper option. We could save money, and you could take Aunt Lana on a trip with the savings." "Besides, you promised my stepbrother you'd help. It would be embarrassing to ask him to find another way! Why don't you let me handle it? We can save the 'old manager' favor for later." Dad thought about it and agreed. "That makes sense, Mia. I'll leave it to you." "I'll handle it!" Mia smiled sheepishly. "But Dad, about the money..." I finally used my brain. "Dad, just transfer the money to Mia. Her friend will need some payoff. We can't expect Mia to pay for it, right?" Dad nodded. "Of course. Is $\$50,000$ enough? I'll transfer it now." 5 Lana's face fell as Dad pulled out his phone. She tried to salvage the situation. "Maybe we should still pay the old manager, just in case? Two options are better than one." Mia smiled, stopping her. "Aunt Lana, this isn't the kind of thing you want more people involved in. What if both connections go through? It would be awkward! They might think we don't trust them." Mia was right. Dad, a veteran in the business world, understood the social rules around favors. "Mia is right. We'll follow your plan." He patted Lana's hand. "Don't worry. My daughter-in-law is reliable. We're family; she wouldn't scam you." I smiled inwardly. Dad, open your eyes. We are all scamming each other! Lana was internally fuming but could only manage a fake smile. "Thank you, Mia." That night, Mia and I looked at the $\$50,000$ transfer on my phone, delighted. "Good thing you were quick, honey! Otherwise, Lana would have pocketed that money." But now, we were officially at war with Lana. Mia and I started planning how to drive her out without hurting Dad. "But honey, do you really have a friend at Dual Star?" She rolled her eyes. "Of course not! It was just something to say." "The kid won't start school for at least three months. If we can't expose Lana in that time, we deserve to fail." "Even if they don't split, I can just say the connection fell through. Always have a backup plan, Jay. You have a long, difficult road ahead of you!" Mia tilted her head, looking adorable. If it weren't for her, Lana would be $\$50,000$ richer today. "You really are a genius! I'm so lucky to have married such a smart, beautiful woman!" I hugged her and kissed her fiercely. "The old saying is true: listen to your wife, and you'll get rich!"
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