I died on my way to call him. On the other end of the line, he was humming a tune, making me dinner. But in the blink of an eye, that same man calmly claimed my shattered remains and turned our home into a love nest for him and his old flame. Ten years of marriage, and he never shed a single tear for me. I hated him for his cold heart, hated that I’d wasted a decade on him. Reborn, facing him again, I tore up our engagement and had only one thing to say— “Go chase what you want. I’m done playing along.” 1 My head was still spinning from the dizzying sensation of being a disembodied spirit when Toby’s sharp scoff cut through the haze. “So, you were just messing with me.” “How many times have you pulled this stunt now?” A wave of vertigo washed over me, and I paled, grabbing the back of a chair to steady myself as I sank into it. Toby just watched me, his expression perfectly calm. “No,” I managed to say. “From now on, be with whoever you want. I won’t force you into anything anymore.” “The engagement… I was being impulsive.” Toby strode over to me, his fists clenching at his sides. “You promised you’d get your father to invest in my family’s company. Are you backing out?” A sudden, mocking smile twisted his lips. “I should have known. You never stick with anything for more than five minutes.” At the mention of the investment, a flicker of anxiety broke through his calm facade. He loomed over me like a wall, and the dizziness intensified, a sour knot forming in my stomach. I kicked lightly at his shin. “Get me a glass of ice water.” At my command, his tension vanished in an instant, replaced by that familiar, placid obedience. As I took the glass, a strange sense of déjà vu washed over me. It felt just like our past life, in our home. He’d come back from work, ready to cook, and I’d be lounging on the sofa, ordering him to wash fruit for me, demanding a leg massage while he was between stirring pots. I looked up and met his eyes, now perfectly serene again. How did he do it? I wondered. How did he serve a woman he didn’t love, share a bed with her for ten long years? A bitter pang shot through my heart. It must have been unbearable. I lowered my gaze and answered his question. “My family will still make the investment.” Toby’s father was a man of immense pride. His company, Keystone Foods, had built its reputation on quality, earning trust slowly but surely. But in this cutthroat market, surviving was a struggle. They were facing a massive overhaul, and if my family pulled our funding now, it would be a devastating blow. His father, with all his pride, would never recover. That’s why Toby endured it all. He endured me. For that debt of gratitude, he gave up the girl he truly loved and agreed to every single one of my unreasonable demands. Even later, after his family’s company was well past the crisis, he never broke his promise to me. He took care of me for ten years. He just didn’t love me. But now, thankfully, it wasn't too late to change things. “It will be a standard investment contract, with dividends based on the shares. If problems come up later, I’ll even consider a second round of funding. Keystone is a good company. I grew up eating your family’s snacks. There are no strings attached.” I took a deep breath. After all, for ten years, I had genuinely loved him. Pushing down the wistful ache in my chest, I continued, “Forcing you before was my mistake. I won’t do it again.” I met his gaze directly. He looked right back at me, his lips parting as if to say something, but no words came out. I stood up, turned my back to him, and opened the door, blinking back the sting in my eyes. “This time, I want to try with someone else.” Toby’s footsteps were hurried, almost frantic, as he left. He was probably terrified I’d change my mind. 2 Toby was raised in a loving home by adoring parents, a true gentleman. When I was little, my father would often take me to visit his family, and he always treated me with perfect hospitality, never showing a hint of impatience with my childish tantrums. It wasn't until I accidentally learned he had followed his neighbor, Rosalyn, to Bayside University that I understood. All his patience, all his composure, was just the politeness one shows a guest. Even someone as brilliant as him had a love he couldn’t have. Rosalyn was beautiful and talented, but I wasn't so bad myself. I was so naive back then. I really thought that, given enough time, he would eventually fall in love with me. For ten years, we got along well enough, like any ordinary married couple. It created the illusion that we were in love. But I wasn't even cold in my grave for a week before he moved Rosalyn into our home. I was like the villainess in a romance novel, the one who tears the main characters apart. And in the end, I got what was coming to me. I gazed out the floor-to-ceiling window at the brilliant blue sea and sky. There was nothing better than being alive again. To prove I was serious, I had my dad complete the investment the very next day. And we officially called off the pending engagement. My father gave me a long, meaningful look as he signed my name on the investment contract. It was now officially me, not my family, investing in Toby’s company. Even my own father could see how I felt about him. I didn't bother trying to explain. Neither family ever mentioned the engagement again. 3 Back on campus, the university felt enormous. We were in different departments—he was in finance, I was in fine arts. It was perfectly normal that our paths never crossed. A full month passed without a single sighting of Toby. At first, it felt strange, a void in my routine. So I threw myself into college life to keep my mind busy. I started feeding the stray cats on campus. I joined the outdoor hiking club. I shared pictures of my sculptures, my clothes perpetually covered in clay. I went on sketching trips with my classmates. My roommates started a betting pool in our group chat, guessing whether I had truly moved on or was just trying a new strategy. They’d all seen how obsessed I was with Toby before. They chatted away as if I wasn't even in the group. I rolled my eyes and typed back a message. “So what are the odds?” Chloe replied: “Four to one… P.S., I’m the one.” Even though they all thought I’d be back to chasing him in no time, I was serious this time. I was done with Toby Grant. I placed a bet on myself. That evening, Jimmy showed up. He roared up in a flashy sports car, his hair a shock of bleached blond, and bellowed my name outside the sculpture studio. “Claire!” He lunged forward to throw an arm around my neck but screeched to a halt when he saw the clay splattered all over me. “Heard you invested in Toby’s family company, but now you’re avoiding him?” His eyes were gleaming with gossip. “What’s the deal? Playing hard to get?” I shot him a withering glare. “Get your mind out of the gutter!” I turned to go back into the studio, having zero interest in talking to him. We’d been close since we were kids, distant cousins thrice removed. He was a classic slacker who coasted through life, and his dad had finally shipped him off to a university abroad. I still remember the look of utter betrayal on his face when he saw my stellar college entrance exam scores. But for all the good his "study abroad" did, he was constantly flying back. Jimmy stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Or maybe I could, you know, tie him up for you? Let you have your wicked way with him?” I took a deep breath and turned back to him with a saccharine smile. The next second, all the wet clay from my hands was smeared across his face. He let out a howl like a pig being slaughtered. “Claire Sterling, I’m gonna kill you!” As I dodged his flailing attack, I glanced down the hallway and saw Toby standing at the far end, holding two cups of bubble tea. It was the first time I’d seen him since that day. Remembering that his "one true love," Rosalyn, had classes in this building, it all made sense. He watched us with a cold, flat expression, let out a quiet scoff, and turned and walked away. “What’s his problem?” I muttered. Later, while we were grabbing spicy hot pot, Jimmy brought up Toby again. “What’s really going on with you two?” “I just don’t like him anymore, that’s all.” Jimmy’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean, you don’t like him anymore?” “Is it because he’s in love with Rosalyn?” I snatched a piece of tripe from his chopsticks and rolled my eyes. “You already know, so why ask?” A look of profound tragedy crossed his face. “Oh, my dearest Rosalyn… Now that punk is really going to snatch her away.” His words struck a chord, and a wave of sadness washed over me. That night, two souls unlucky in love drank themselves into a stupor. My roommate, Chloe, who was just getting off one of her many part-time jobs, had to drag me home. The next morning, she gleefully showed me a video of Jimmy and me belting out sad love songs in the middle of the street. She used it as blackmail to get me to cover her volunteer shift for the debate club. The girl juggled eighteen part-time jobs, and this time, her schedule was just too packed. 4 I never thought I’d cross paths with Toby again. But there he was, in the debate club room. He was organizing files on a shelf. He froze for a second when I walked in, then turned back to his task without a word. An awkward silence fell. He probably thought I’d come here on purpose, chasing him. Neither of us spoke. I started cleaning, just as Chloe had asked. To be honest, it was a little harder than I expected. I was standing on a wobbly table, stretching to wipe the top of a window, when the table suddenly shifted. I lost my balance and started to fall. I braced for the impact, but the pain never came. Instead, a pair of searing hot hands wrapped around my waist, catching me. My face flushed instantly. My mind flashed back to my past life, after Toby and I were married. He was usually so silent, so restrained. Except in bed. In the dark, he would grip my waist with that same fierce, burning intensity, his breath coming in heavy gasps. His hands were always so hot. He wouldn’t say a word, just work with a relentless focus. It was only when I begged for mercy, my voice hoarse, that he would finally relent, his mouth moving to my lips, giving me a moment’s reprieve. I drifted for a moment. So, we did have moments that felt like love. “Get down.” A cold voice from behind me snapped me out of my memories. I felt a surge of embarrassment. He probably thought I fell on purpose. He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking deeply annoyed. Just as I was trying to figure out how to explain myself, my phone rang. I scrambled to answer it, grateful for the escape. It was Jimmy. He sounded like he’d just woken up. “Claire, my dear cousin! For the sake of your happiness, your big bro is going to give it another shot!” My blood ran cold. Give what another shot? I had a terrible feeling he was about to do something monumentally stupid. I rushed out to find him, circling the campus until I finally spotted him in front of the dorms. But Toby had found him first. By the time I arrived, Jimmy was in a standoff with Toby. It was a grand, over-the-top display. The ground was littered with rose petals. Rosalyn, dressed in a white sundress, stood behind Toby, looking completely bewildered. I walked closer, my heart sinking with a familiar ache. Seeing them together like this, it still hurt. It was a dull, lingering pain. In my past life, shortly after I forced Toby to marry me, Rosalyn’s family went bankrupt. Toby immediately sent her abroad. I was so happy then. I thought, with her gone, nothing would stand in our way. Looking back now, I realize he was just protecting her. He must have thought that with her family ruined, she would be vulnerable to my jealousy. He really, truly loved her. Just like now. Rosalyn was the one being confessed to. But it was Toby standing in front of her, shielding her, rejecting Jimmy on her behalf. Rosalyn’s eyes were red-rimmed as she gently tugged on Toby’s sleeve, shaking her head. Then, her eyes met mine across the crowd. She looked like she wanted to say something, to explain, but her lips parted and closed, and in the end, she just lowered her gaze. The scene felt strangely familiar. I remembered, after I died in my past life, when Toby brought Rosalyn home, Jimmy had shown up just like this, making a scene. He had pointed a finger in Toby’s face, screaming at him, demanding he let Rosalyn go. He accused Toby of betraying me. My spirit had floated nearby, trying to explain. “No, he didn’t cheat on me.” “I know him. He would never do something like that.” “I was the one who forced him to be with me.” “He didn’t betray me. He can go back to the woman he loves now.” “These past ten years, I’m the one who wronged him.” “Jimmy, I’m dead. He’s free.” But no one could hear me. That day was the seventh day after my death. I walked toward the small group. Toby’s gaze landed on me, his eyes cold as ice. He was looking at me as if to say: You’re despicable, Claire. Sending Jimmy to hit on Rosalyn. Jimmy stood opposite them, his usually wild hair looking limp and defeated. Looking at the sea of roses and the mountain of luxury gifts piled in his sports car, I couldn’t help but grimace at his tacky taste. Any normal girl would be dying of secondhand embarrassment from a spectacle like this. Jimmy must have had rocks for brains to think this was a good idea. He seemed to be realizing it himself now. He shot me a desperate look and whispered, “Help me.” “If my dad sees I’m back in the country and pulling this kind of stunt, I’m dead meat!” I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck. “You didn’t ask for my help before you pulled this stunt. Now that you’ve made a fool of yourself, it’s too late to ask for a rescue!” Jimmy grit his teeth. “It wasn’t my idea! I just wanted to give her some flowers and confess. My idiot friends are the ones who turned it into this circus.” I glanced over and, sure enough, saw a few of his usual cronies huddled together, whispering and snickering. As the crowd grew more restless, Jimmy clenched his jaw and made a final, desperate offer. “Save me, and I’ll steal my dad’s yacht for you. We can throw a party. With male models.” I nodded instantly. “Deal.” I turned, took the bouquet of roses from Jimmy’s hand, and fixed Rosalyn with my most deeply emotional gaze. “Rosalyn, I’ve admired you for so long. Do you like these roses? I had them flown in fresh from Bulgaria just for you.” Then, as if just noticing Toby, I gasped and covered my mouth in feigned shock. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you already had a boyfriend.” I pretended to tear up. “It seems I was a step too late. In the next life, I’ll be sure to find you sooner!” From the crowd, a student piped up. “Wait, didn’t Claire used to be chasing Toby?” Rosalyn looked at me, her expression confused. I froze. This was not going according to plan. Another student offered an explanation. “It’s a diversion tactic! She was trying to weaken the enemy from within, but when that failed, she decided to go all in!” A murmur of understanding went through the crowd. Rosalyn’s expression grew complicated, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued my heartbroken performance. “My lady, you must be happy. I shall retreat. And with my retreat…” Jimmy clamped a hand over my mouth. “Sorry, she’s just overcome with grief and talking nonsense. I’ll take her somewhere to recover.” I was just getting into character and shot him an indignant glare. Across from us, Rosalyn reached out a hand dramatically, but before she could say anything, Toby covered her mouth too. And just like that, the confessor and the confessee were both silenced and dragged away by their respective captors. As we were leaving, I glanced back one last time. Toby’s eyes were dark, inscrutable. Rosalyn was staring after us, a lost look on her face. And Jimmy and I were running for our lives. 5 The next time I saw Toby was at the celebration party for his family company’s successful new project. I was there with my father. Mr. Grant was in high spirits, pulling Toby along as he came to toast our table. “We really owe it all to you and Claire this time,” he beamed. “My friend, Mr. Lee, just opened a new amusement park and invited all the kids to go have some fun, help him get the word out.” I politely declined. “I’ve been quite busy lately. I’m afraid I’ll have to miss out on the fun, Uncle.” My dad chimed in to explain. “She’s preparing her applications to study abroad. There’s a lot to get done.” Toby’s head snapped up, and he stared at me, his gaze intense. I pretended not to notice. He probably thought I was following his precious Rosalyn overseas to torment her. We weren’t even applying to schools in the same country. Still, Toby pressed. “It’s just for a day. Everyone’s going. It’ll be a good way to relax.” His father quickly agreed. “Exactly! One day won’t hurt anything.” “Toby, you take good care of your little sister Claire, make sure she stays safe.” I was still trying to come up with another excuse when I heard Toby quickly agree. I blinked, surprised. He was acting strangely tonight. In my last life, I was the one who arranged this trip. I’d assumed that since I hadn’t planned it this time, it wouldn’t happen. My dad nudged me, a conspiratorial glint in his eye. He whispered in my ear, “I’ve been observing that Toby boy. He seems to have good character—smart, hardworking. A suitable marriage prospect. You’re not getting any younger, you know. It’s time you started dating.” “Besides, didn’t you want to marry him before?” I was speechless. How was I supposed to tell him I’d already test-driven this “suitable prospect”? The packaging was fine, but the contents were a little faulty. “Dad, someone who’s good for marriage isn’t always good for dating. Besides, he already has someone he likes.” My dad looked crestfallen. “See? You waited too long to make your move!” I rolled my eyes and walked away. Too long? He’d been in love with Rosalyn since they were kids. The only way I could have been earlier is if I’d made my move in the womb.
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