I am a special kind of "Spirit Bride," specializing in performing rituals for men who have just died. The ritual, known as "Passing Joy," involves transferring the luck of the living to the deceased so they can reincarnate well in the next life. I have successively performed this ritual for thirty-seven dead husbands. The fee is $50,000. It requires not only a bowing ceremony with the deceased but also a wedding night—consummating the relationship. Today, I received the order for my thirty-eighth husband. It was a Friday in early July. I had just turned on my phone and selected a photo of a male model to critique with a professional eye when a strange number called. I picked up, and an anxious female voice came from the other end: "Is this Ms. Sarah Green? My son just died. We need a Passing Joy ritual. Is it convenient for you to come over now?" The other party made further demands. They wanted to perform the ritual twice for their son: once at home in the bridal suite, and once at the cemetery. And she promised: after the ritual was completed, she would give me $130,000 as a fee. I hesitated for a moment but agreed. Although I had never taken a job involving two ceremonies before—usually, it’s just once in the bridal suite, and the cemetery is frankly too scary—the money was just too good. For a professional Spirit Bride, there was no reason to refuse. Refusing would not only mean losing money but also letting my reputation gather dust. I instructed the woman on the phone, who had lost her son, to buy several hot water bottles to warm up his body. This was naturally for my own benefit. After all, the ritual involves intimate contact, and I didn't want to be hugging a cold, stiff corpse when the time came. Keeping the corpse warm makes it feel almost no different from a living person to the touch. After hanging up the phone, I immediately called my boyfriend of three months, Liam. "Let's break up! You're too short; you don't deserve me!" After saying that, I ignored the crazy screaming from Liam on the other end, hung up, and then blocked and deleted his number and social media. As a professional Spirit Bride, I have professional ethics. I never keep two boats afloat at the same time. Before every new ritual, I decisively dump my current living boyfriend. Because the dead deserve respect too. However, most of the time, these living boyfriends are not willing to be dumped by me. Firstly, it might be a matter of pride. Secondly, although we professional Spirit Brides have thin luck due to the rituals, our long-term deep interaction with dead things has caused our bodies to form a special constitution different from ordinary women. Because we carry heavy "Yin" energy, this energy slowly condenses into a "Yin Bead" in the lower abdomen. Those who possess a Yin Bead naturally emit a strange fragrance from their bodies, a scent sufficient to make all men intoxicated and crazy. After dealing with Liam, I sent a WeChat message to my best friend, Chloe. "Girl, I'm getting married. Remember to send a gift!" She replied quickly. First, a "mind-blown" emoji, then a sharp roast: "Sarah Green, do something human for once. This is your thirty-eighth marriage. The money I've given you for gifts over the years could buy a car by now!" Of course, despite her roasting, she still sent me a red packet of $30 with a note: "I'm so poor this month I'm eating dirt. This was my last bit of money for underwear!" I thought about it, plucked a strand of my hair, tied two knots in it, took a picture, and sent it to Chloe: "Don't worry about having no underwear to wear. I'm gifting you a new style of G-string. Am I thoughtful or what?" After sending that, ignoring Chloe's new round of insults, I packed my luggage, shouldered a hiking backpack, and went out. I followed the location sent by the employer's family and took a taxi. Two hours later, I arrived at a village in the western suburbs. "Sir, please wait a moment. I'm going to change my clothes in the car!" I said this and opened the hiking bag to take out my gear. The taxi driver had made a few hundred bucks on this trip alone, so his attitude toward me was quite good. Hearing this, he actively got out of the car to give me privacy. A few minutes later, I got out of the car changed. At this moment, I was dressed in a bright red traditional Chinese wedding gown—a Xiuhe suit—wearing a phoenix crown and hairpins, red embroidered shoes on my feet, and a red veil on my head. However, because I still needed to see the road, the veil was not lowered to completely cover my face. The taxi driver stared blankly. "Miss, are you... holding a wedding?" I nodded. "Yes, everyone is waiting for me to perform the ceremony!" The driver was half-surprised, half-judgmental. "Why are you, the bride, alone? Is there no one to pick you up or send you off?" I smiled sweetly. "My husband isn't a living person, so he can't come to pick up the bride!" "Holy sh*t!" The driver's face turned pale. He hurriedly pulled open the door, dived into his car, and sped away in a flash. Following the information provided on the phone, I soon found the old mansion in the village and met the woman who called me. The woman's name was Peggy. She was in her fifties, dripping with gold and silver, dressed like a wealthy lady, but currently, her face was full of grief. Besides her, there was a middle-aged man. According to Peggy's introduction, his name was Norman, the master of this mansion and the father of the deceased. After seeing me, Peggy looked me up and down, then nodded, forcing a smile. "Ms. Green is truly beautiful. My son had a hard fate, but at least he has some luck in the end!" Norman also nodded at me. "Sorry to trouble you, Ms. Green!" I nodded slightly. "You are too polite! It's getting late, let's hurry up with the ceremony. Where are the things I asked you to prepare?" Peggy said, "Everything is ready!" Saying that, she waved her hand, and someone immediately brought over a large red rooster. I opened my hiking bag, took out a writing brush and red paper, and then asked Peggy for the relevant information, including the name, age, birth date and time, and cause of death. Peggy rambled on, saying a lot in one breath, crying and laughing intermittently. It was clear she was very sorrowful about her son's sudden death. After she finished, I extracted the following useful information: My prospective husband for this ritual was named Nathan. He was Norman's only son, twenty-seven years old. After graduating from Tsinghua University, he got his Master's at Stanford. Born in the year of the Horse, September, between 7 and 9 AM. Died of heart disease. I picked up the brush and wrote Nathan's name and birth details on the red paper, then pasted it onto the big rooster. Finally, the big red rooster took Nathan's place and completed the bowing ceremony with me. After bowing to heaven and earth, Peggy led me to the bedroom. Naturally, Nathan's corpse was waiting for me in the bedroom. Before leaving the bedroom, Peggy earnestly instructed me: "Sarah, having bowed to heaven and earth, you are the wife. Mom will speak frankly. Nathan grew up so big, always busy with his studies and career, he never even had a girlfriend. Mom is begging you, treat him well later, let him have a perfect wedding night experience! Mom will give you an extra $15,000 in a red envelope!" Hearing there was an extra bonus, I immediately stated my position: "Mom, you are too polite. Don't worry, I guarantee Nathan will be the happiest man tonight! Of course, if you sympathize with us younger generation and insist on giving $30,000, I will definitely work even harder!" The bonus directly doubled! Peggy was probably shocked by my shamelessness, her mouth gaping. After a while, she nodded. "$30,000 is no problem, but I want to make one thing clear. I will bring a doctor over tomorrow morning to check. Sarah, don't think about fooling me!" "Mom, you have to believe in a daughter-in-law's professional ethics!" "Mom believes you! By the way, Sarah, give me your phone for safekeeping first. I don't want certain photos of my son spreading in the future. I hope you can understand!" I could indeed understand this request, so I casually took out my phone and handed it to her. Peggy then left satisfied, thoughtfully closing the door behind her as she went. After Peggy went out, I scanned the furnishings of the bedroom. Two large red candles were lit on the nightstand. A male and a female paper doll with painted red cheeks stood at the head and foot of the bed. This scene might seem weird to others, but I've seen it a lot, so I didn't feel anything special. I walked towards the bed on my own. Finally, I was going to see the object of my ritual this time. I wondered what he looked like. Okay, I admit I'm shallow about looks. I saw a young man lying face up on the bed. His eyes were closed tight, his chest didn't rise or fall at all; clearly, a genuine corpse. However, even with his eyes closed, one could still see his sword-like eyebrows, thin lips, chiseled face—extremely handsome. And his nose was tall and big. I couldn't help but reach my hand under his white shirt. First I felt the warm... hot water bottles, and then under the hot water bottles, I felt hard abdominal muscles. I felt around carefully and counted. Tsk, a full eight-pack! The sexual tension was maxed out! "Nathan, nice to meet you. Let me introduce myself, I am Sarah Green, here to pass joy to you. I heard you've never had a woman before? You really are a rare man! Now please lie still and don't move, I'm going to start fulfilling my duties as a Spirit Bride!" Nathan was obedient, lying there honestly without moving a muscle. Of course, I knew a corpse couldn't move. Saying this was purely to relax the atmosphere and add some flavor, similar to the "you just lie there and let me do the work" scenario. As a professional Spirit Bride, I am diligent and responsible. At this moment, through psychological suggestion, I had safely placed myself in the role of a newlywed wife. Nathan was my husband, and I could do whatever I wanted to him. "Hubby, sleeping in clothes is uncomfortable. Wifey will help you take them off!" After reciting that, I stripped off Nathan's clothes and pants one by one, stripping him completely bare. "Hubby's skin is so white, and his body is very fit! Wow! People say those with big noses are gifted, and sure enough, that saying is true!" Then I took off my own clothes, climbed onto the bed, and lay down beside Nathan. "Hubby, have you ever been touched by a woman here? What about here? And here?" "Hubby don't worry, wifey will be gentle with you!" Because Nathan's parents had followed my instructions earlier to keep the corpse warm, the body was still soft. To the touch, aside from the body temperature being lower than a normal person, it wasn't too stiff. Then I turned Nathan over, making him lie face down on the bed. The principle needed here isn't complicated: blood flows to the lowest point. After a full half-hour, I turned Nathan over again, letting him lie flat. Then I jumped up and straddled Nathan's waist. Suddenly, my eyes widened. Because I clearly felt Nathan's waist actively thrust upward once. I gasped subconsciously. And those two paper dolls standing at the head of the bed, unbeknownst to me when, had turned their heads, facing the bed, as if expecting a good show... Enduring the softness in my bones, I quickly rolled off and couldn't help but put my hand on Nathan's chest to feel. He still had a heartbeat! I thought it was my illusion, so I pressed my ear against his heart. Listening to that not-so-strong heartbeat, I finally confirmed: this man, he isn't dead yet! When I touched his body earlier, I actually felt something wasn't quite right. According to my calculations, this man's time of death, by now, should have been over five hours ago. A corpse begins to stiffen between half an hour to two hours after death, and the subsequent time involves continuous stiffening and cooling of the body. Even with hot water bottles applied, after so much time, the body couldn't possibly still retain elasticity like a normal person, nor could every part still hold warmth. This meant that this man had not completely lost his life! It was too late to send him to the hospital now; he might actually kick the bucket on the way. So, I decided to use the first-aid methods I learned in college to try and bring him back. So I rubbed his body to promote blood circulation while using my own body to provide him warmth, and occasionally gave him artificial respiration. After all, I was saving a life, so I didn't care about the details. Plus, I took hundreds of thousands from them, and he was a super handsome guy, so it wasn't a loss. After working for about two hours, this handsome guy coughed a few times and finally opened his eyes. I looked surprised and was just about to go out and tell them the good news. I believed my temporary in-laws would be very happy to see their son wake up. Maybe they would even reward me heavily for saving their son. However, just as I got out of bed, the man's hand grabbed me. "Don't go out. They... they aren't good people!" I widened my eyes, not understanding what he meant.
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