I used to be a giant panda, the absolute top star of the breeding center. My daily routine was simple: eat, sleep, pose for the cameras, and wait for the aunties to line up just to see me. Then I woke up in the body of a D-list celebrity, only to accidentally charm the entire entertainment industry with my natural clumsiness. Even after skyrocketing to fame, I still preferred cornbread and apple slices. Liam Stone, the A-list heartthrob, couldn't stand it anymore. "Lily, can't you eat something better?" Hearing "something better," my eyes lit up. I blinked excitedly. "Better? Like what?" Liam's face turned red, and he pointed at himself. Me: "But you don't look tasty." Liam: "..." 1 "Oh my god, thank heavens! You're finally awake!" The moment I opened my eyes, I saw a two-legged creature crying over me. Suicide? I ate well, slept well—why would I commit suicide? It took me a good long while to realize I had transmigrated into the body of an entertainment industry celebrity. A very unpopular, D-list celebrity. "Okay, okay, you're awake, that's what matters. Look, we might be unpopular, but it's not worth dying over." I nodded. "So hungry. Got any cornbread?" Two-legged creature: "Huh?" My name is Joy. I was a giant panda, the biggest star at the research base. My life was eat, sleep, work the crowd, repeat. I heard the ladies loved me. They'd get up before dawn and wait in huge lines just to watch me zone out. But things were different now. The current me had no gigs, and everyone hated me. I was gnawing on an apple when my agent, Cece, rushed in, grabbing my arm. "Good news! You finally got a show!" She shook me so hard my apple almost flew out of my hands. I quickly shielded it, hugging it to my chest. Cece’s mouth twitched. "Lily, didn't you use to hate apples?" I gave her a wink, scratched my ear, and giggled. "Anyway, this is a rare opportunity. Do not say anything crazy on the show, okay?" "Okay." "You're being so obedient? Also... the show invited Tyler and... Chloe..." Cece said the names carefully. "Okay." Cece grabbed my shoulders, inspecting me left and right. "Did the sleeping pills damage your brain?" We pandas aren't dumb. Last night, this Tyler guy sent me a message. “Lily, I'm with Chloe now. We are completely over. Please stop harassing Chloe online. Let's delete each other.” I was just figuring out how to use a human phone. Seeing "delete," I happily typed "Okay." And hit delete. "Tyler, right? Deleted." Cece looked shocked. "Wow, Lily, you finally grew a spine." I winked at Cece again. 2 As a panda, I slept whenever and wherever I wanted. But as a celebrity, even without much work, my sleep time was drastically cut. And no more napping on the floor. Early the next morning, while I was still dream-fighting other cubs, Cece dragged me out of bed to travel. I was so sleepy. So I fell asleep on the road. "Lily, wake up! Stop sleeping!" Cece shook me awake. I was bleary-eyed. "What's wrong?" "I'm worried about you. Let me remind you again, this show is live-streamed 24/7. Watch your words and actions." "And you've been sleeping so much lately. You can't just sleep there and not work." "Okay," I yawned, answering seriously. Cece looked worried seeing me so dazed. She told me this variety show was hard to get. It had run for seven seasons, and almost every celebrity willing to do reality TV had been on it. This was the final season. Because it was live, some stars refused, afraid of getting canceled for a slip-up. Also, the guest list wasn't announced beforehand, so the live comments might be intense. Psh, live stream? Big deal. Back at the base, ladies watched me all day. Many recorded videos. The more people watching, the more excited I got. Sure enough, before the car even stopped, I heard people screaming by the road. "Liam Stone! I love you!" "Chloe! Chloe!" Our van was high off the ground, and the original owner of this body was petite. I thought about it. No more paw pads to cushion a fall. If I tripped, it would hurt. So I decided to jump down with both feet for stability. Just as I poked my head out, I heard the whispers. "Omg, isn't that Lily? The D-lister who fought with netizens for three days straight? Why did they invite her?" "Yeah, that's her. She called me a three-day-old dead fish." "I heard she tried to force a ship with Tyler after just one drama and stole someone's boyfriend. So shameless." Okay, great. Starting with the insults. I hopped down with both feet, feeling the strange looks from the crowd. "Wow, look at her. Even getting out of a car, she's so dramatic and fake." I looked at the big bag of freeze-dried apple slices in my arms. I walked up to the loudest hater, pulled out a slice, and asked, "Want one? It's really good." Totally ignored me. Their gaze shifted to a black van pulling up slowly. The car stopped, and a tall, thin man in a black cap got out. "Ahhh! Liam Stone!" "Liam is so handsome! Mama loves you!" Weird. Can they tell he's handsome even with the hat? But I used to hear "Mama loves you" all the time at the base too. Big deal. I have lots of moms who love me too. Same entrance, totally different treatment for me and Liam. Liam walked toward me and politely extended his hand. "Hello, I'm actor Liam Stone." So polite. I looked down at myself, quickly wiped my apple-dusty hand on my clothes. Then I shook his hand. "Hello, I'm Lily." Liam looked shocked, the corner of his mouth twitching. 3 "This Lily is such a weirdo. Shaking our Liam's hand with those dirty paws." "Right? The audacity. That's Best Actor Liam Stone." "But it's weird, can't she hear us insulting her? Usually, she'd be calling us toads by now." While Liam hesitated, two more vans arrived. Judging by the cheers, Tyler and Chloe had arrived. They got out separately but naturally walked together, flashing their signature smiles and waving to fans. "Wow, Chloe and Tyler are such a match. Our Chloe is beautiful." "Yeah, that homewrecker Lily can't compare to Chloe." The scene was chaotic. I stood silently by my luggage, munching on freeze-dried apples. After their greetings, Chloe's gaze turned to me, standing quietly on the side. "Long time no see," she said with a fake smile. Her makeup was perfect, her outfit hot. In fifty-degree weather, she was wearing a low-cut mini dress. I looked down at myself. Black and white hoodie, jeans. I looked like a random passerby. I asked Chloe with genuine concern, "Hi there. Aren't you cold?" "I'm not cold, thanks for asking." She paused, glanced at the crowd, and answered politely. I thought, this Chloe seems polite enough. Why did Cece describe her like she murdered my whole family? The show I was on was called "Our Simple Life," a slow-living reality show. The director said the house was about a mile away, and cars couldn't go in. We had to walk. Chloe looked troubled, clearly unwilling. Tyler, who had been stuck to her side since arrival, spoke up. "Coco, let me carry it for you." Chloe looked at me smugly and handed her suitcase to Tyler. I reached into my bag of apple chips and crunched loudly. The three of them looked at me like I was an alien. It made me a little shy. "Eat up, need energy, hehe." Chloe and Tyler looked annoyed. Only Liam stared at me curiously. Did he want my apple chips? My slow brain processed this. I had six or seven bags in my suitcase. I guess I should share later. 4 I dragged my suitcase the whole way. Liam offered to help several times, but I refused. "Your suitcase is heavy. Did you bring a lot of clothes?" Liam asked seriously. He didn't talk much, but he was polite to me. "No, just a few clothes. It's mostly snacks," I answered slowly. Liam looked shocked. "You don't diet?" I looked down at myself. I could see my feet. Not fat. Why diet? "Nope. I eat six meals a day, sometimes snacks too. If I'm not full, I can't sleep." I explained seriously to Liam. Shock flashed in his eyes. The live stream exploded. "So this Lily is a foodie? Kinda cute contrast." "She must be faking a foodie persona to clean up her image. What celebrity eats six meals?" The show's two resident hosts were Host Zhou and Host Xue. They were waiting at the gate with two Shiba Inus running circles happily. "Welcome, everyone! Tough journey!" Host Zhou greeted us warmly, and Host Xue took our luggage. Since Chloe and I were the only girls, we had to share a room. Chloe looked displeased. So I spoke up, "If you don't want to sleep with me, I can sleep anywhere. That swing outside looks comfy." Chloe's face turned red. "Stop talking nonsense." Host Zhou jumped in to smooth things over. "Lily can't sleep on the swing! Sleep inside, too many bugs out there." "Oh right, this show is live-streamed, and the guests can hear the live comments through these devices." He wiped sweat from his forehead. No wonder I thought I heard someone say I was faking a persona. On the way, Cece told me if I didn't understand anything, ask the teachers. "Host Zhou, what is 'faking a persona'?" Host Zhou looked at me and wiped more sweat. "Lily, let's go check out the living room." He pulled me away. I glanced back at Chloe, who looked at me with disdain. The device on my waist buzzed with a comment: "This Lily is definitely faking a 'dumb beauty' persona."
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