The 500-person "Fried Noodle Fan Club" group chat for the food stall outside our university campus finally hit max capacity. Then, the owner kicked me—his most loyal customer—out of the group. "The group is full, and I don't feel like making a new one, so I'm cleaning up the member list," he announced. I laughed so hard I cried. I stared at the "You have been removed from the group" notification and fell into deep thought. Back in the day, I personally dragged hundreds of classmates into this group chat. I posted three separate rave reviews on the campus forum recommending his fried noodles. I spent at least $1,200 at his stall over the years. And I was the first one he kicked? I didn't go argue with him. Instead, I screenshotted the notification and forwarded it to every major campus group chat I was in. Hundreds of students saw it. They instantly rallied, leaving the group en masse and boycotting his stall. Watching his group chat numbers plummet, "Brother Lee" finally panicked and begged me to come back. 1 It was late at night, and I couldn't sleep. A notification popped up from the "Brother Lee's Fried Noodles" group chat. [The group has reached the 500-member limit. Since many seniors are graduating and leaving, and new freshmen need to join, I won't be making a second group chat. I'll be cleaning up the member list tonight.] My roommate, Sarah, who I had dragged into the group, saw it too. She slapped my bed curtain. "Chen, don't worry. There's no way he's kicking you. When you first took me there, I thought you were a paid shill for his stall. You brought him so much business over the years." I yawned, ready to go back to sleep. Suddenly, a message popped up on my screen: "You have been removed from the group 'Brother Lee's Fried Noodles'." My drowsiness vanished instantly. I almost fell out of my bunk bed. Seeing my reaction, Sarah realized something was wrong. "Holy crap, did he actually kick you? That makes zero sense!" I was stunned. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Confirmed. I was out. I couldn't sleep now. Three years. Rain or shine. I was his most loyal customer. And I was the first one kicked when the group got full? 2 Sarah tried to comfort me. "Maybe he misclicked? I'll pull you back in!" I waved my hands frantically. "You mean he accidentally clicked my profile, accidentally clicked 'Remove Member,' and then accidentally clicked 'Confirm'? That's a lot of accidents." Sarah finally realized the intention. "Wait... the group has 500 slots. It says 499 members now. He literally kicked just you to make space? That is insane!" I laughed bitterly and spread my hands helplessly. Sarah jumped off her bed, furious. "This guy is burning bridges! Think of how many customers you brought him! If it weren't for you, that stall would have folded years ago! You have to go talk to him! We aren't taking this!" I calmed down. I told my fuming roommate, "He sent that announcement and only kicked me. It was premeditated." Sarah's face was red. "So we just let it go? Swallow this insult?" 3 I looked her in the eye. "Of course not." I didn't go to the stall to argue. I didn't ask Sarah to confront him in the group. I simply took a screenshot of the "You have been removed" notification and posted it in several 2,000-member campus-wide Discord servers and GroupMe chats. "Looks like Brother Lee's Fried Noodles is over, guys. Let's disperse. Plenty of other food options near campus." Lee had no idea his business was about to implode. There are tons of food stalls outside the university gates. Three years ago, I was starving and dizzy, so I grabbed a $5 fried noodle box from the closest vendor. That was Brother Lee. From then on, I was his biggest fan. I recommended him to everyone. I even suggested he start a WeChat group for pre-orders and promotions to get more customers. Three years later, the price has gone up to $8, and he quietly kicked me out of the group. I laughed in anger. Suddenly, I didn't like fried noodles anymore. Sarah was analyzing the situation like a detective. "I remember! Last Friday and Saturday, you walked past his stall twice without buying anything. He must be salty about that." I thought about it. "Probably." Sarah muttered, "You can't let this slide. I'm so mad for you!" I pulled up my blanket in my bunk. I knew Lee was in for a world of hurt. Since I could bring him business, I could certainly take it away. 4 The next day after class, I walked past Lee's stall. He ignored me completely, enthusiastically greeting the freshmen. "All the students love my fried noodles! Even the professors pre-order from me!" He skillfully tossed the noodles on the flat-top grill. The oil sizzled, turning the noodles golden brown. "Freshmen, join my WeChat group! You can order ahead!" Usually, I'd buy a box. This time, I walked away without a glance. Back in the dorm, Sarah whispered, "I thought it was a mistake, but he saw you graduating soon and figured you wouldn't spend money anymore, so he kicked you preemptively!" I patted her shoulder. "Customers who leave because of price might come back. Customers who leave because of attitude never return. Unfortunately for Lee, he's about to lose thousands of potential customers." Sure enough, my screenshot was being forwarded like crazy. In just one morning, dozens of students left "Brother Lee's Fried Noodles" group. Lee, oblivious, posted cheerfully: "Seniors who are graduating, feel free to leave the group to make space. And please invite your juniors to join before you go!" He thought it was natural for us to bring him new customers. But as the member count dropped, Lee realized something was wrong. He panicked. "Don't just leave! Invite some new students! Tell your friends!" Sarah told me that after he sent that, fifty more people left instantly. The 500-person group was down to 200. 5 Finally, someone noticed that I, the group's resident chatterbox, hadn't said a word all day. "Where's OrangeJuice? Haven't seen her around lately." ("OrangeJuice" was my username). I was active in that group daily. Half the people there knew me. Lee definitely saw the message. But he pretended not to. He skipped over it and replied to a pre-order below. "Jiang, three orders of noodles? Transfer the money and pick them up at 4 PM." Sarah's eyes widened. She waved her phone at me. "This is ridiculous. Just because you didn't buy noodles twice last week, he turns on you?" I rubbed my temples. "Don't worry. The masses have sharp eyes. His stall won't last three days." Sarah, loving the drama, typed in the group: "The person who brought you all here was kicked out by the owner! Of course you can't see her!" The group exploded.
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