After being roasted by my professor, I was so disheartened I broke up with my online boyfriend right there in class. The physics professor, who had just lectured us on "less romance, more studying," suddenly looked panicked. "That's all for today," he announced abruptly. The class gasped. "No extra homework? No detention? Is this the same Demon Professor?" Meanwhile, my phone was vibrating like crazy. [Babe, I don't want to break up.] [What did I do wrong? Tell me, I'll change.] I sighed, deciding to be honest for once. [It's not you, it's me. If I keep dating, I'm going to fail Physics 101.] The professor was right. If my grades didn't improve, I could kiss grad school goodbye. Suddenly, he sent a photo of a faculty ID card. [Babe, I can tutor you. I'm pretty good at physics.] My phone slipped from my hand, falling at 9.8 m/s². 1 My best friend, Tasha, was more dramatic than I was. "Chloe! You dropped your brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max!" I ignored the phone and grabbed Tasha by the shoulders, my voice trembling. "Tash, I have a friend... who is facing a life crisis, and she doesn't know what to do!" Tasha looked confused. "What crisis?" "Hypothetically, I mean hypothetically... say my friend was online dating someone, broke up with him, and then found out his true identity. What should she do?" "How 'true' is this identity? Elon Musk's son? A celebrity?" "No, it's... more awkward. Like if you were online dating your gaming carry, and it turned out to be your mortal enemy." Tasha backed away. "Don't even joke about that!" "So... what do I do? Does he know who... your friend is?" "I don't think so... maybe?" "Then who cares! You broke up online, never met, never kissed. What can he do to you?" "You're right." I exhaled a long breath, patting my chest. "Ugh, I'm scaring myself." "Okay. Who is it? You look like you saw a ghost. Confess now, or I'll—" "Oh my god, your cat is giving birth! I have to go deliver kittens!" "My cat was neutered eight years ago!" 2 Here's the backstory. I met my online boyfriend, "Brand," in a fan group. I couldn't get tickets to see the singer Ash, so I joined his fan club hoping for a resale. Brand was the one who sold me his ticket. At the time, VIP tickets were impossible to get and were scalping for triple the price. He sold it to me at face value. I thought it was a scam until the physical ticket arrived via FedEx. He said his friend bailed last minute, and since I'd been begging in the group chat for a week, he decided to help me out. I was so touched. I even brought a gift to the concert to thank my fellow fan. But the seat next to me remained empty all night. Brand later told me he had an emergency at work. I felt bad for him, so I mailed him the concert merch I bought. He was surprised and insisted on paying me back. I laughed, "What kind of person do you think I am?" We started talking. We shared everything—daily life, Ash's new songs, movies. Sometimes he'd send voice notes singing Ash's songs. His voice was incredible—low, magnetic, husky. I saved every single one. One sleepless night, I confessed my feelings. [Typing...] appeared for a long time. Just when I thought he was drafting a rejection letter, a voice message popped up. He sounded nervous. [Sorry. I should have said it first.] I asked, "You haven't even seen my photo. Aren't you afraid I'm ugly?" He chuckled, a sound that plucked at my heartstrings. "I've imagined what you look like, but knowing it's you behind the screen makes the rest irrelevant." My heart skipped a beat. My face burned. I tried to change the subject. "Well... confessing is a young person's game." Whenever I mentioned our six-year age gap, he'd get defensive. "Fine, fine. I'm robbing the cradle." "And I'm respecting my el—" "Babe, I miss you." "I miss you too~" Okay, "elder" was a banned word. Got it. It wasn't until I broke up with him in physics class that I realized... No wonder we always had the same weather, same sleep schedule, even the same winter and summer breaks. I thought he was a grad student at my university. I didn't realize he was the professor. Mom, I think I'm in big trouble. 3 Strictly speaking, Professor Shen isn't a tenured faculty member at our school. He's a visiting scholar from MIT, the kind with multiple papers in Nature. The original professor for this elective was his former classmate. She went on maternity leave, and Shen stepped in to cover for her. Teaching undergrad physics was overkill for him. He was just doing a favor. At first, his classes were packed. People were standing in the aisles. Rumor had it the Physics Department got a top-tier hottie who looked like a movie star. After a few lectures, Professor Shen's Socratic method—randomly calling on people and grilling them—scared off 90% of the eye-candy seekers. The ones left were people like me, who needed the credits and couldn't afford to fail. I've always loved physics, thanks to sci-fi movies. Especially astrophysics. Professor Shen was strict about attendance, but his lectures were engaging. He made complex theories easy to understand. He treated an elective like a core major course. Some loved it; some hated it. When I realized Brand was him, I went through the five stages of grief in about ten seconds: Shock → Panic → Fear → Denial → Acceptance → Recklessness. Since I asked to break up, Shen's texts hadn't stopped. When he sent the photo of his ID: [MIT Physics Visiting Scholar: Shen Xiuming], I had to face a dilemma: Is it scarier to dump a professor and then have him find out you're his student? Or to date a professor and then have him find out you're his student? I think the first one is worse. With the second one... maybe I can kiss my way to forgiveness? I thought of Shen's handsome, ascetic face calling me "babe" in voice notes. I thought of his long, elegant hands spinning a globe... and Venmo-ing me cash. My ears burned. I poked my head out from under the covers and opened the chat with Brand. [We don't have to break up. But I have a condition.] He replied instantly: [Name it, babe. Anything.] I hesitated, then typed slowly: [That offer to tutor me in physics... does it still stand?] 4 To keep Shen from realizing I was his student, I only asked questions from my other physics classes. My breakup threat must have traumatized him because he was walking on eggshells. [If you don't understand, it's because I didn't explain it well.] [You got this wrong because I haven't covered that topic yet.] [Rest if you're tired. We can continue tomorrow night.] This gentle Brand and the icy Professor Shen in class... the cognitive dissonance was real. Tasha nudged me. "Chloe, do you think Professor Shen has been... nicer lately?" I looked down, guilty. "Really?" "Yes! Today someone answered roll call for their roommate—usually a death sentence! He just made them write a reflection paper!" I once complained to Brand that 8 AM and 2 PM classes were torture. He had laughed then. I thought Mr. Self-Discipline couldn't relate. "And! He stays 10 minutes after class to answer questions now. He used to just tell people to read the textbook!" I couldn't listen anymore. Yesterday, he solved a problem I'd been stuck on for weeks. He asked why I didn't ask my own professor. I said I was afraid of exposing my stupidity. Hehe. He paused, his voice soft as water. "You won't. If you're scared, it must mean your teacher is too cold and unapproachable." AHHHHH! This subtle change was killing me! The desire to meet him in real life was reigniting!
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