My husband, Michael, was in a car crash. Critically injured, on the brink of death. The doctor said saving him was pointless and told me to prepare myself. Oh, I was prepared. With a wave of my hand: "Let's not trouble the hospital. Cease treatment." Get the death certificate, cancel his social, send him to the crematorium. Six hours later, he was a pile of ash. I patted the urn: "Michael, oh Michael, you really are a good man!" Vast fortune, died young, no will. I get two-thirds of the entire estate. Could there be a more considerate man than Michael? 1 My husband, Michael, died in a car crash and left me a huge inheritance. Could there be a more considerate man than Michael? Thinking of how considerate he was, I naturally had to be considerate too. So, I called the luxury wellness retreat where Michael's parents were vacationing and told the attending doctor to give them the most expensive check-ups and nutritional IVs. A son's death is a serious matter. What if the two old folks couldn't take the shock? I had to help them get their health in order ahead of time. And then there was his little mistress. When Michael was alive, I turned a blind eye. Now that he's dead, it's time to settle scores. I took a moving company to her apartment and, with a wave of my hand, "Move it!" The little mistress wasn't home, which made things easy. Sealed everything up, packed it all away. When we left, the only thing left besides her personal items was a bed. I didn't want that. Too dirty. It was a lot of stuff. I spent all night sorting, picking out what I wanted and selling the rest for scrap. The scrap collector had just pulled away when the police knocked. "Elena? Someone's reported you for burglary!" "Officer, I've been framed! I'm a law-abiding citizen!" "We'll see. Come with us to the station to clarify the situation." Of course I went. I didn't steal anything, why would I be scared? When I got there, I immediately saw Amber. The second she saw me, she jumped up and started screaming, "Elena, you thief! How dare you steal my things!" I frowned, seeing her jump around like that with a seven-month belly. I kindly reminded her, "You should be careful. If you jump that kid right out of you, don't you dare blame me!" "You dare curse my baby!" Amber really doesn't listen to reason. I told her to be careful, and she got more violent, even trying to hit me. What could I do? Ask the police for help, of course! I quickly hid behind an officer. "Officer, officer, she's trying to frame me with her baby! You're my witness! Protect me!" The staff managed to pull Amber away, giving me a look that was hard to describe. I asked, "Are you impressed by my legal awareness? Thinking about how I avoided being framed? No need to thank me, it's every citizen's duty to study the law!" Their expressions became even more complex. "Sit down. Let's clarify this 'burglary' first." I was taken into a small room. The interrogator looked grim. "Yesterday at 8 PM, what were you doing at The Astoria?" "Moving." "Moving? Was it your stuff to move?" He slammed the table, throwing down a stack of photos. "The homeowner has already filed a report. You've got some nerve, bringing a whole moving company. What, you think you're filming a movie?" They'd probably never seen a 'burglar' this brazen. They almost laughed out of anger. "But... the apartment is mine." I started pulling things from my bag. "Property deed, bank payment slips, ID. Here, see if anything's missing." Now it was the interrogator's turn to be stunned. He checked the documents word by word, and finally confirmed it. I was, in fact, the owner. They called Amber back in, along with the building manager. "What exactly is going on?" The manager said, "Ms. Amber is the resident. I'm sure of it. I see her all the time." Amber shrieked, "Elena stole my stuff!" 2 I smirked. "Amber, you've got some nerve. You were homeless. Michael and I felt sorry for you and lent you the apartment. How did 'lent' become 'yours'? Check your conscience. You've lived there for years. Have you paid one cent in rent?" Amber's face went white. "The apartment isn't mine, but the things inside are! Officer, she stole my things!" "You have the nerve to say that?" I pulled out another stack of papers. "Officer, here's the renovation invoice. Here are the furniture purchase orders and payment records. You can check them against the items." After speaking politely to the officer, I turned to Amber. "As for your dirty clothes and smelly socks, I threw those out before I moved. The things I took—the furniture, the appliances, the cabinets—which one of them has your name on it?" The officer said coldly to Amber, "You said she stole your things. What did you lose? Make a list." Amber grabbed the pen, gritting her teeth. I sneered. "Amber, you haven't worked in four or five years. I'm very curious what 'valuables' a broke freeloader like you could possibly own." Her face went ashen. She couldn't write a single word. I sat back, perfectly calm. Of course, I knew exactly what was in that room. Michael had been planning to divorce me for six months. He'd been moving assets like a rat, laundering cash into gold bars and hiding them in a safe in that apartment. A safe that was embedded in a storage cabinet. A safe that I had already found last night and moved to a very secure location. I wasn't afraid of her writing it down. Even if she did, who would believe her? A woman who mooches off others... has a stash of gold bars? Who did she think she was fooling? In the end, Amber mumbled that the room was such a mess, she got flustered and didn't notice I'd already set her personal items aside. The police gave her a harsh lecture. Amber just bit her lip, furious, but couldn't say a word. I got a lecture too, for not notifying the resident before moving, causing a misunderstanding, and wasting police resources. I immediately apologized and promised it would never happen again. We walked out of the station together. I gave her the official notice: "I'm selling that apartment. You have three days to get out. Otherwise, you can pay rent. Thirty thousand a month." "That's robbery!" she shrieked. I gave her a side-eye. "The Astoria. Prime location, massive flat. You think that's not worth thirty grand? Go look it up." She knew it was true. She seethed, "Elena, don't get cocky. I'm going to tell Michael what you did. Just wait until he deals with you!" "Oh, really?" I smiled. "You've probably already called him, haven't you? Did he pick up?" Her face changed. She clutched her phone. My smile widened. I told her, "Don't bother. He can't pick up. He's a pile of ash now." Amber let out a piercing scream. "Elena, you are a vicious bitch! How dare you curse him to die! You two were in love for so many years! He's your husband!" I covered my ears, annoyed. When she was done, I said, "So you do know he's my husband? Then why are you so upset? You don't believe me? Fine, go check. The accident was at 10 AM yesterday. It should be on the news. Here's a copy of his cremation certificate. You can go ask the crematorium." 3 I shoved the paper into her hand, got in my car, and left. I heard her shriek behind me and saw in the rearview mirror that she'd collapsed, clutching her stomach. I took out my phone to call 911. Then I thought... eh. We're right outside the police station. Someone will call for her. They might even drive her there. Saves an ambulance fee. I'm just so kind, saving those medical resources. Back home, I turned off my phone, took a bath, had a nice meal, and a good sleep. I was woken up by a call from my building's security. "Ms. Lin? There's a couple at the gate claiming to be your parents-in-law. They want to see you." Michael's mother's voice screeched through the intercom: "Elena, you heartless monster! Michael was just dead and you had him cremated! Why didn't you let us see him one last time? You venomous woman, get out here!" I dug a finger in my ear and said, "Not seeing them." This was my condo, not the one I shared with Michael. The security guards here don't know his parents. I hung up, turned on my phone, and saw hundreds of missed calls and texts. I deleted them all and turned it off again. The next morning, the police were at my door. "Someone is accusing you of murder. Please come with us." "I've been framed! I'm a law-abiding citizen!" I cried out. The officer's eye twitched. "Let's go clarify the situation first." I went obediently. I didn't murder anyone. What was I afraid of? When I got there, I saw Amber again, sitting with my parents-in-law. The second my mother-in-law saw me, she lunged. "Elena, you venomous witch! You didn't even let me see my son's face! You're going to hell!" Seeing her jump around so energetically, I was relieved. Those expensive supplements at the wellness retreat really worked. I said, "Mom, be careful. If you break a hip, don't blame me." "You killed my son, and now you're cursing me!" She and Amber were really cut from the same cloth. "Aaaargh!" she howled, and lunged again. What could I do? Ask the police for help! "Officer, help!" I ducked behind him again. "She's using her 'mother-in-law' status to attack me! That's domestic violence! Domestic violence is illegal! Protect me!" The staff, struggling to restrain her, gave me that look again. I asked, "Are you impressed by my legal knowledge? I even know about domestic violence! No need to thank me, it's my duty to educate the public!" Their expressions grew even more complex. "Sit down. They've accused you of murder. Let's get this clarified." I was taken to the small room. The interrogator threw down a paper. "Your in-laws provided the accident report for your husband's crash. It says the cause was brake failure. They accuse you of tampering. What do you have to say?" "I do. They're lying!" I immediately defended myself, while feeling deep sympathy for the officers. "Officer, my in-laws are elderly. They don't understand the law. Did they just come here to make a scene without any evidence? And you had to arrest me anyway?" The officer's face froze. I felt so bad for him. 4 He glared at me. "Your mother-in-law stated that you are responsible for the car's maintenance. It's serviced once a month. The last service date was three days before the crash. Did you not notice anything wrong with the brakes?" I looked at him sincerely. "I didn't take it in this month. Something came up." "What came up? Think clearly before you answer. And if you're innocent, why did you have him cremated so quickly? We've learned it was less than six hours between his death and the cremation!" He stared at me. It was a valid point. If I was innocent, why turn him to ash so fast? I looked back, just as sincerely. "Officer, is there a waiting period for cremation?" The room was silent. "Answer the question!" one officer snapped. "Just answer what you're asked!" The other officer tried to be nice. "If you can't explain this, it looks very bad for you. Just cooperate with us. You said yourself you're a law-abiding citizen, right?" I had to respond to that. "It's because I was sick of him! I was with him when he had nothing. Now he's rich, and the bastard wants to divorce me! Three days ago, I was about to take the car for service, but he came home and started a fight, so I didn't go. Now he's dead. Am I supposed to keep his corpse around for New Year's? If it weren't illegal, I'd use his ashes as fertilizer to grow dog-piss mushrooms!" The officers stared at me, finally convinced I wasn't lying. They were expecting a defense. They didn't expect the unvarnished truth. I even added, "You can ask our building manager! There's surveillance footage. I hit him and threw him out. They all saw it." They called my in-laws and Amber back in. Amber immediately asked, "Officer, is it clear? Elena murdered him!" The officer glared at her. "What does this have to do with you? Who are you to him?" Amber turned red, looking at my mother-in-law. "Auntie..." "She's... she's my goddaughter! Michael's godsister!" my mother-in-law stammered. "The law doesn't recognize 'godsisters.' He has no relation to you. Stop inserting yourself into this." Amber's face turned purple. The police had already confirmed with the building and checked the surveillance. Michael did come home the day the car was due for service, and he did fight with me. "The car wasn't serviced, which was your son's own fault. The cremation, while fast, was legal. Filing a report is your right, but filing a false accusation without evidence... that has legal consequences. Understand?" My mother-in-law didn't care. "Elena, you demon! You didn't even let me see my son one last time!" I expertly dodged behind the officer. "Mom, let's be clear. It's not that I wouldn't let you. He fell off a cliff. He was... a mess. I could barely handle seeing him. If you saw him, you'd have passed out, and we'd have two funerals to plan! I was thinking of you!" "You dare curse me!" she shrieked. The officer, holding her back, glared at me. "Can you just... not talk?" Sure. I zipped my lips.
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