My boss's girlfriend treats me like her personal nemesis. At the company dinner, she marched right up to me in front of everyone. "I heard you're really good at pleasing the boss," she sneered. "Tell you what, bark like a dog for me, and I'll give you a thousand dollars." Silence fell over the room like a heavy blanket. I smiled, raised my wine glass, and said, "Here's to the boss! Wishing you luck, prosperity, health, wealth, joy, and fortune!" "That's six wishes. Six 'woofs' worth of luck. Do you want to Venmo me or pay cash?" The room erupted in laughter. Even the boss cracked a smile. Only his girlfriend stood there, her face sinking faster than the Titanic. 1 "Wow, you really live up to your reputation as the top salesperson. Such a smooth talker," Chloe drawled, her smile not reaching her eyes. She stared at me, dragging out every syllable. "No wonder Damian always praises your ability to close deals. You really know how to charm men." "Unlike me. I'm so clumsy with words. I could never come up with such a... unique toast." The atmosphere in the room froze again. Anyone with ears could hear the venom dripping from her words. But my boss, Damian, was apparently deaf. He chuckled and booped her nose affectionately. "Babe, you don't need to worry about that complicated stuff. Just stay by my side and let me protect you." "But..." Chloe lowered her eyes, her voice suddenly trembling with unshed tears. "I read online that bosses always get seduced by their female subordinates. Damian, you promoted Sarah so fast... I... I just feel so insecure..." She actually managed to squeeze out two tears, glancing at me with a look of pure victimization. "And... she disrespected me. I just wanted to hear a cute dog bark for fun because I love puppies. But she brushed me off with those six 'wishes.' She doesn't respect me at all..." I almost laughed out loud. She publicly humiliates me by asking me to bark like a dog, and somehow I'm the one in the wrong? I knew better than to argue logic with crazy. I put down my glass and looked at Damian. "Boss, your girlfriend just spent five minutes questioning my professional ethics and personal morals. Is she... trying to find an excuse to get out of paying that six grand?" "Pfft—" Someone in the corner snorted into their drink. Chloe turned beet red, like a cat whose tail got stepped on. "Damian! Look! She's targeting me! Just because I'm your girlfriend, she's jealous and trying to embarrass me!" Damian immediately went into panic mode, hugging her and making soothing noises. Then he frowned at me. "Sarah!" His voice was heavy. "Chloe is young and straightforward. She doesn't mean any harm. You've been with the company for a long time. Can't you just speak nicely instead of making her look bad?" He pulled out his phone, impatient. "It's just six thousand, right? I'll pay it for her!" He transferred the money instantly. Chloe tried to stop him but failed, a flash of regret crossing her face at the lost cash. My phone buzzed. [Payment Received: $6,000.00] Six grand for a toast? I'll take it. I raised my glass to Chloe again, flashing my perfect customer-service smile. "Don't worry, Miss Chloe. I keep business and pleasure strictly separate. I come to work to make money. After all—" "Flirting with the boss would really slow down my cash flow." Laughter rippled through the room again. Chloe stood rigid in Damian's arms, her face cycling through shades of green and white. If looks could kill, I'd be a pile of ash on the floor. 2 Chloe has considered me her imaginary enemy for a while now. She was a micro-influencer with a tiny following before she hooked up with Damian. Since then, she's styled herself as the "Lady of the Company." Any female employee who speaks more than two sentences to Damian gets the death stare. And I am Public Enemy Number One. Why? Because I'm the Sales Director. I report directly to Damian. And I've been with him since he started this company in a garage. That shared history is a thorn in Chloe's side. That's why she tried to humiliate me today. She wanted to assert her dominance in the most primitive way possible. I thought the drama was over for the night. But as we were leaving, Damian threw me right back into the fire. "Sarah, Client Zhang just texted. There are issues with the proposal for the merger. It's urgent." He waved his phone. "Hop in my car. I'll drop you off, and we can talk on the way." Beside him, Chloe's eyes instantly reddened. She gripped Damian's sleeve, her voice shaking. "Damian... you even know where she lives? What is going on between you two?" "What are you thinking?" Damian immediately softened his voice, frantically comforting her. "Last time we had a late meeting, the driver dropped her off. That's how I know. Chloe, this is work!" Chloe bit her lip, nodding with the air of a martyr accepting a terrible burden. My head was throbbing. I really didn't want to be part of this soap opera. "Damian, I'll just Uber. We can talk tomorrow." "No, they need the revisions tonight." I had no choice. I followed them to the parking lot. As soon as we reached the car, the show started again. Chloe lunged for the passenger seat like she was claiming a throne. She sat down, buckled up, and flashed me a triumphant smile through the window. "Director Sarah, so sorry! This is Damian's 'Girlfriend Exclusive Seat.' I can't let you have it." "Some women just love trying to steal the passenger seat, thinking it means something special." She sighed dramatically. "Honestly, why bother? It's so ugly when people try to squeeze into places they don't belong." I looked at her acting like a cliché mean girl in a teen movie. The irritation in my chest settled into something colder. She clearly didn't learn her lesson at dinner. I opened the back door and spoke calmly. "You're overthinking it, Miss Chloe. I actually hate the passenger seat." She looked surprised as I slid into the seat directly behind the driver. "You might not know this," I continued slowly, "but statistically, the passenger seat is the 'death seat.' In a crash, a driver instinctively swerves left to protect themselves, exposing the passenger side to impact." I looked up, meeting her terrified eyes in the rearview mirror. I smiled. "That's why I prefer sitting behind the driver. It's the safest spot. Highest survival rate. Unlike the passenger seat... tsk. First to go." Chloe's face went pale. Her hand flew to her chest, clutching her seatbelt like a lifeline. "Sarah!" Damian started the car, frowning. "Stop scaring her! You know she's timid." He started cooing at his frightened little bunny again. I leaned back and closed my eyes. When I couldn't take the baby talk anymore, I cut in. "Damian, are we discussing work or not? If you two keep flirting, I'll be home before we start. Then I'll have to text you later, and Miss Chloe might think we're having a secret affair." That shut them up. Silence filled the car for a few seconds. Then Chloe turned around, forcing a generous smile. "Director Sarah, don't be mad. Maybe I was... too sensitive before." She pulled out her phone. Her eyes, however, were hard. "To avoid misunderstandings, let's add each other on WeChat. If you have urgent work matters after hours, just text me, and I'll relay the message to Damian. That solves everything!" I almost laughed. Her logic was astounding. I have an urgent business matter, but I can't contact my boss directly? I have to go through his unemployed influencer girlfriend who knows nothing about our business? I looked at Damian in disbelief, hoping he'd shut this down. Instead, he patted Chloe's hand approvingly. "That's a great idea. Chloe just wants to understand my work better and feel secure. Sarah, just add her. I want my girlfriend and my top manager to get along." My heart went cold. To pacify his girlfriend, he was treating our business like a joke. Under his expectant gaze, I suppressed my nausea and scanned her QR code. Request accepted. Her nickname popped up: [Chloe <3 Damian 4Ever] Her profile picture was a close-up of them making out. Before I could recover from the cringe, my phone buzzed. First message from Chloe: "Director Sarah, remember to tell me immediately if anything happens with Damian at work! [Cute Emoji]" 3 That night, I revised the proposal until 3 AM. At 6 AM, my phone started vibrating like it was possessed. I slid it open. A wall of red notifications from [Chloe <3 Damian 4Ever]. [Director Sarah, are you up?] [I heard Damian is meeting Client Zhang today. Are you going?] [Is Zhang a man or a woman? How old?] [Since you claim you're innocent, you have to help me! If you see any women hitting on Damian, tell me! We're sisters now!] [Also, remind Damian to say 'I love you' twenty times a day. If he misses the quota, I'll be sad!] My brain was throbbing. I threw the phone aside. Ignoring her seemed like the best response. Ten minutes later, my phone rang. [Chloe <3 Damian 4Ever] I took a deep breath and answered. "Miss Chloe, it is 6:10 AM. Is the building on fire?" "You finally picked up!" She sounded angrier than me. "Why didn't you reply to my texts? Do you have a guilty conscience?" "I was sleeping." I rubbed my temples. "Sleeping?!" Her voice hit a pitch only dogs could hear. "How can you sleep? I'm so worried about Damian meeting clients! You have to watch him for me!" "Miss Chloe," I said, my voice dropping to absolute zero. "You are an adult. Please contact your boyfriend yourself. I am not your spy, and I don't have time for this." I hung up. Silence returned, but my sleep was gone. I showered and prepped for the meeting. At 9 AM sharp, Damian and I arrived at Client Zhang's office. As we walked into the conference room, my phone buzzed. Chloe: [Director Sarah, did you see Client Zhang? Send me a pic!] I ignored it. More messages flooded in. [Ignoring me? Are you still mad about last night?] [I know you're upset I suspect you, but I just love Damian so much.] [If you have nothing to hide, you should help me.] [Think about it. If I fight with Damian and ruin his mood, the company loses money. Can you take responsibility for that?!] What kind of mental gymnastics was this? I typed four words: "In meeting. Do not disturb." Then I muted my phone and shoved it deep into my briefcase.
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