When the heir to the Thorne fortune, Julian Thorne, broke up with me, I cried my eyes out. He frowned, annoyed. "Are you really this in love with me?" Then he wired me ten million dollars as a breakup fee. I covered my mouth and ran away, sobbing. Everyone thought I was hopelessly devoted to him, a pathetic, obsessed simp. Until that night. My Finsta account was accidentally exposed. @NotYourBabe: "He's as cold as a fish and as stubborn as a mule." @NotYourBabe: "God, this idiot is so annoying." @NotYourBabe: "FINALLY. Free at last,嘻嘻." Julian, his face blank, crushed the glass in his hand. He sent me a text. "I'll give you another ten million." "You'd better pray I don't catch you." 1 Three weeks of dating, and Julian texted me to end it. I couldn't just let it go. I ran to confront him. The VIP section of the club was dark and loud. In front of all his friends, I bit my lip, my voice cracking. "Babe, are you really doing this?" Julian leaned back on the velvet couch, a cigarette burning between his fingers. "Yeah. We're done." His voice was as cool as his posture. "No, please. Tell me what I did wrong. I'll fix it." I was pathetic, crying like a fool. My heart was pounding so hard I could barely breathe. A few seconds of silence. Julian scowled and stubbed out his cigarette. He looked at my tear-filled eyes, a flicker of annoyance and... confusion... in his. "Are you really this in love with me?" I nodded, tears streaming. "More than anything, babe." His scowl deepened, his lips pressing into a thin line. A moment later, my phone buzzed. A bank alert: $10,000,000.00. Julian looked away, his voice cold as he dismissed me. "That's for your trouble. Forget me." 2 For a second, all the color drained from my face. My body swayed. "Fine. If that's what you want." A fresh tear rolled down my cheek. I covered my mouth and ran, feeling the pitying stares of everyone in the booth. Behind me, I vaguely heard someone say, "Damn, Julian, paying her off like that? That's brutal. A total humiliation for her." "She looked like she was about to shatter." "Should I go get the money back?" Julian's voice, hesitant, drifted after me. ...I ran faster. The night air was cold. I squatted under a streetlight, my face buried in my hands, eyelashes still damp. The System cleared its throat in my head. [Hey, kid. Don't take it too hard. At least the mission is complete.] I lowered my hands and looked at the scrape on my arm. I got it a few days ago, tripping while bringing Julian his stupid craft-brewed-by-Tibetan-monks coffee. "Did I look like I was about to shatter?" I asked, my voice flat. "God, I feel so... misunderstood." [...What?] "Like a nun being accused of running a brothel," I clarified. [...] 3 The System finally rebooted. [Wait... you were faking it?!] "How'd I do? Oscar-worthy, right?" I stood up and stretched, the "heartbreak" gone. I'd died in a spectacular and embarrassing accident (don't ask). A 'Love System' snagged my soul and brought me here, promising to send me back to my life if I completed one task: Successfully "conquer" a top-tier, high-quality man and stay in a relationship with him for at least three weeks. It picked the target for me: Julian Thorne. Heir to the Thorne conglomerate. Handsome, rich, and emotionally unavailable. Difficulty: five stars. I'd spent months trying to crack his code. I was relentless, devoted, playing the part of a woman desperately in love. Even the System thought my performance was real. But Julian remained a block of ice. Then, for no reason I could figure out, he suddenly agreed to date me. He was still cold. Wouldn't even hold my hand. The entire relationship was me, the "obsessed simp," doing all the work. Whatever. It didn't matter. I pulled out my phone and smiled at the bank alert. "Hey, System? Can I take the cash with me?" [No.] ...Great. All that acting. For nothing. 4 The System said it would take a few days to upload the mission data. Since I couldn't keep the money, I decided to spend it. I rented a supercar. I moved into a glass-walled penthouse. I bought out half of Rodeo Drive. I was living my best, most obnoxious rich-person life. Tonight, I'd dressed to kill and gone clubbing. Coming out of the bathroom, I ran straight into one of Julian's friends. "Nina? You here to see Julian?" "Nope, nope. We're done, remember?" I tried to sidestep him. "Ouch. Rough, Nina. I'm sorry." He gave me this pitying look, like he knew I was just putting on a brave face. "Hey, his childhood friend Chloe just flew in. We're all in the VIP for her welcome-home party. C'mon, I'll get you in." He grabbed my arm and started pulling me, ignoring my protests. In the booth, Julian's head snapped up. His face was tense. A very cute, bubbly girl was sitting right next to him. "You must be the ex-girlfriend," she chirped. Then her face soured. "You pathetic simp. You deserved to get dumped. You're not good enough for him. Stay away from Julian." 5 "Sure, honey. You're the one. You're totally the one." "Life is so boring, and then a toad hops up to critique a human." My mission was over. I was done being nice. I plopped down on the couch, crossed my legs, and poured myself a drink. Chloe looked like I'd slapped her. She clutched her chest and fell sideways into Julian. "Julessss, she's being mean to me." Julian's face darkened. He stood up. "Nina!" He looked like he was about to defend his precious Chloe. Chloe, having missed her target, stood up and tried to grab his arm. "Jules..." But Julian abruptly sat back down. He just stared at me, his face impassive, and said, "That was uncalled for." ...That's it? The tension was so thick, one of his friends tried to break it. "Hey, c'mon, we're all friends. Drink up!" "Chloe, don't mind her, she's just heartbroken." "But she was mean to me first!" Chloe whined, her eyes filling with tears. She was so aggressively stupid, it was almost impressive. "Talking to you is a waste of my time. I'd rather be scrolling Twitter," I said. "It's one thing to play dumb, but don't overdo it. You're like a glitching NPC with amnesia."
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