I was scrolling in bed when a post popped up in my feed: 【What do I do if my wife only likes me for my body?】 I figured it was just clickbait, but I tapped on it anyway. The comments were all trashing the guy for "humblebragging." A few were giving him tips on how to "use his body to capture her heart." I was getting into it when my husband, Ryan, walked out of the bathroom. He was still wearing the leather choker with the little bell. 1 【What do I do if my wife only likes me for my body?】 OP: We’ve been married for three years, and I’m starting to think my wife is just... physically attracted to me. When I try to talk to her, she'll just say 'uh-huh' and go back to work. But if I walk past her without a shirt on, her eyes get all bright, and she comes over to... you know. Cuddle. So, does love just fade? Or did she only ever love my abs? I raised an eyebrow. This was a weirdly specific new way to get engagement. I scrolled down. Commenter 1: This is the most obnoxious humblebrag I've ever seen. Get out of here, man. You’re here to show off. OP: I'm really not. I'm anxious. I feel like we’re not connecting on an emotional level. Commenter 2: 'Emotional level'? Lmao. Roommates by day, lovers by night? Dude, that’s the dream. What are you complaining about? OP: But I want her to like my other qualities, too. This guy was jealous of his own body? I guess that made sense. You need both for a healthy marriage. Commenter 3: You just need to lean into it. If she's physically into you, that's half the battle. Now you just have to make her so obsessed she can't live without you. OP: You’re right. Thank you. I’m going to go see my wife right now. I was cackling when the bathroom door clicked open. A cloud of steam rolled out, followed by Ryan. His hair was damp, his upper body bare, and he had a towel slung low on his hips. Water droplets were tracing the lines of his abs... My eyes did a quick, involuntary scan. Broad shoulders, narrow waist, a ridiculous six-pack... and, wait. A new accessory. I couldn't quite see it in the dim light. He cleared his throat and walked toward me, accompanied by the faint jingle-jingle of a bell. Hold on. He was wearing a bell. 2 I cleared my own throat, forcing my gaze up to his face. "All clean?" He hummed in response, his voice low and a little rough from the hot water. I couldn't help it. My eyes went back to the thing on his neck. "You... buy that yourself?" He nodded, the tips of his ears turning pink. I had to laugh. I reached out and flicked the little bell. Jingle. Ryan's whole face flushed. This was... adorable. My hand, of its own accord, drifted lower, tracing the line of his clavicle. He let out a soft sound, and his eyes, when they met mine, were hazy and dark. That face, with that expression... I shoved him. He didn't fight it, just fell back onto the mattress, landing with a soft whoosh, looking up at me like he was waiting for instructions. "Ryan..." I whispered, crawling over him. "Hmm?" I smirked, my hand slowly moving over his stomach. "You're ridiculous. And I love it." ... 3 The next morning, I checked the thread. OP had posted an update at 2 AM. OP: It worked. My wife definitely loves my body. But I’ve made up my mind. It’s a start. I’m going to make her fall in love with all of me. The late-night crowd was, of course, terrible. Commenter 8: 2 AM? You just finished, didn't you? OP: Yeah. She said I was... adorable. Commenter 9: We're gonna need pics of this body, for... science. OP: Sorry, my body is for my wife only. But I do work out every day. To win her heart, I'm going to work out even harder. ... I walked out of the bedroom, still scrolling. Ryan was already in the kitchen, plating breakfast. He set a bowl of oatmeal with fresh berries in front of me. I kept reading, laughing at the comments. "Chloe." I looked up. "Hmm?" "What time will you be home today?" I thought. "I have a board meeting. Probably late. Don't wait for me." He just nodded. A second later, a notification popped up. OP had posted a new comment. OP: I don't think she likes me. At all. Away from the bedroom, she's so cold. She was on her phone all through breakfast. She barely even looked at me. I suddenly felt a little bad. He was taking this "hot and cold" thing pretty hard. The comments were, again, not helping. Commenter 12: Dude, stop being so needy. You sound like a chick. Man up. Stop whining about your wife. OP: I don't think 'needy' or 'feminine' should be insults. Compassion, vulnerability, and treasuring your partner are good things. I'm here looking for advice on how to connect with my wife, not for a lesson in toxic masculinity. If you think acting like a 'man' means devaluing your partner, that's your problem, not mine. I stared at the comment. I hit the 'upvote' button. Damn. Go off, Ryan. 4 I got to the office. Ryan and I... our marriage was a merger. A business arrangement. But it had always been... good. We rarely fought. He was a private wealth manager, I ran a high-profile talent agency. We had our own lives. The morning was swallowed by meetings. "Liam's new movie is with a major director," my VP was saying. "If this lands, we're looking at an Oscar campaign." I nodded, and we moved on. At lunch, I opened the thread again. It was my soap opera now. Commenter 25: Maybe you’re just a hot body and nothing else? No personality? Hmm. Possible. OP: My wife says I’m handsome. And I’m successful in my own right. But I think she’s more amazing. When she's in work mode, she’s… incredible. So smart. But then she doesn't look at me. Anyway, I don't think I'm a 'nothing.' Commenter 26: What does your wife do? You said she deals with 'glamorous' people? Dude. She's definitely cheating on you. Probably with some hot young actor. OP: Absolutely not. My wife's job requires her to be around those types... but I trust her. Her standards are way too high for anyone else. I choked on my coffee. He was complimenting himself while complimenting me. This guy was... a lot. But he was insecure. He needed to be more like Ryan. Ryan was solid as a rock. He'd walked in on my top client, Liam, telling me he was in love with me, and Ryan hadn't even blinked. Of course, we had a pre-nup. No cheating. I sighed. Ryan was always so... perfect. So contained. I never knew what he was really thinking.
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