For His Own Good

Could twins have two different biological fathers? I stared at the two paternity test reports in my hand, lost in thought. Just then, my husband called out from the living room, "Let's name the big one Summer, and the little one Rose." His first love, the one who broke his heart in college, was named Summer Rose. Something inside me snapped. What the hell? The kids weren't even his. What right did he have to name them? 1 I'm what you'd call a traditional woman, a small-town girl at heart. When I married my husband, Mark, he became my whole world. Whatever he said, whatever he did, was right. I adored him. We met at the same university. He was a few years ahead of me and came back as a successful alum to give a talk to my business class. In my eyes, he was the epitome of success. 2 We dated, we got married. I threw myself into the role of the perfect wife. The day I graduated, I hung up my ambitions and dedicated myself to him. I managed our home, cooked his meals, and organized his life. 3 But my perfect domestic life hit a major snag. Two years into our marriage, I still wasn't pregnant. Panic set in. I grew up in a place where divorce was the ultimate failure for a woman. If I was the one who couldn't have children, I'd be sent back to my parents in shame. 4 Desperate, I confided in one of Mark’s best friends, Ben. Ben was a doctor, handsome and successful like all of Mark’s friends. He was kind. After listening to my tearful confession, he offered to run some private tests for me, off the record. The results came back: Mark was sterile. A wave of relief washed over me. It was dark, but my backup plan had been to… injure Mark in a way that would make him sterile, creating a situation where we were both unable to have children. It was a bloody thought, and though I'd rehearsed it in my head, telling myself it was to save our family, I was glad I didn't have to hurt him. 5 To protect our marriage, and more importantly, Mark’s fragile ego, I decided to bear this burden alone. I swallowed the secret. When Mark and his mother yelled at me, I took it. His mother called me a "barren hen." Mark would snap, "Every other woman on the planet can get pregnant, what’s wrong with you?" I never said a word. I was the silent, long-suffering wife. Besides, I was already working on a solution, not just complaining like they were. 6 Sometimes, I felt a surge of pity for Mark. He had no idea how lucky he was to have a wife like me. Ben asked me what my plan was. He was so handsome. He had these charming eyes that crinkled when he smiled and a deep, soothing voice. When he stood close, he smelled faintly of clean linen and antiseptic. 7 As I cried quietly in his office, Ben gently wiped my tears with a tissue. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder, guiding me into a soft hug. "You've been through so much," he murmured. "It breaks my heart to see you like this." "I don't want to hurt Mark," I sobbed. "And I don't want to lose my family." I looked up at him, my eyes pleading. "Ben, is there any way… any way you can help me get pregnant?" After a long pause, Ben agreed. He would be my anonymous donor. We both agreed to keep it from Mark. We didn't want him to be hurt. 8 Our conversation was overheard by Mark's other best friend, Julian. The three of them were inseparable. Julian was a university professor. He found me later, his expression serious. "You can't keep this from him," he said. "The problem is his. He needs to know." "Telling him won't change anything!" I whispered frantically. "It would just crush him. All he wants is a child. If I, as his wife, can't even give him that, what good am I?" Julian sighed. "If you need someone to help… I can. I’ve been in love with you for years, but you've always been so wrapped up in him, I never had a chance." He looked at me with such intensity. "If you have my child, I will give that child everything I have. All I ask for is one night. One night I can remember for the rest of my life. Can't you grant me that one wish?" 9 I was tempted. He promised he would never marry, that he would just love our child from afar. Having one more person love my baby couldn't be a bad thing. And besides, I hated feeling indebted to people. Since Julian loved me, it felt less like a transaction and more like… a mutual favor. So, I told Ben I'd found someone else. He demanded to know why. When I hesitated, he grew quiet. "You can't be serious about divorcing him, can you? Because if you did, I'd marry you. You wouldn't have to go through all this." I shook my head, horrified. His words scared me. Mark and his mother always said a woman's value comes from being married, from being loved and wanted by a man. How could I initiate a divorce? I was a traditional woman. Divorce wasn't in my vocabulary. 10 Ben pressed me. "Who is it? What did they offer you?" Of course, I wouldn't say. "I know who it is," he said, his voice tight. "It's Julian, isn't it? The way he looks at you… it's not innocent. Getting involved with him is a mistake." He leaned closer. "I can marry you! Can he?" His arguments were compelling. He was a doctor. If there were any "post-purchase" issues, he could help. If Mark ever got suspicious and wanted a paternity test, Ben could handle it. Plus, having a doctor on call during the pregnancy would be invaluable. So, I went back and rejected Julian. 11 Julian did not take it well. He threatened to go to Mark and tell him everything, to stop him from pressuring me. To calm him down, I quickly said that having his baby would be better. In the end, I decided that since they were both willing to help, and they were both Mark’s best friends, it didn't really matter who it was. And with two of them… my chances of success would be higher. So I found my ovulation day on the calendar. I scheduled a "meeting" with Julian in the morning. And another with Ben in the afternoon. 12 Soon after, I was pregnant. They both wanted to "meet" with me again, but I refused. I couldn't possibly do something so immoral more than once. Being with them had been physically… pleasurable. More than it had ever been with Mark. But my heart was heavy with guilt. How could a woman enjoy such a thing? I was supposed to be pure, traditional. I couldn't let myself become wanton. 13 But Ben and Julian were persistent. And somehow, they had both gotten samples of my blood and run their own tests. They both called me, claiming the child was theirs. At first, I was shocked, assuming one of them was lying. But soon, I had no time to worry about it. The pregnancy was rough. And Mark and his mother were no help at all. "When I was pregnant with Mark," his mother would say, "I was still working two jobs! I gave birth on my lunch break and was back at the cash register that afternoon. Women these days are so fragile." Mark would chime in, "You sit around the house all day. What's so hard about being pregnant? Why did I marry such a useless woman?" 14 I endured it all in silence. For the sake of a peaceful home. I told myself that Mark would mature one day. The kids would grow up, and we'd be happy companions in our old age. But it was hard. Thankfully, I had Ben and Julian. I saw Ben for all my prenatal appointments. He was so attentive. When he found out I was still doing all the housework and waiting on Mark and his mother, he told them in no uncertain terms that I needed bed rest. He even hired a housekeeper for us, saying it was an early baby shower gift. His mother was thrilled at the free help. Mark just said Ben was too nice for his own good. 15 Julian was wonderful, too. He moved into the apartment directly above ours. He was a professor, so his schedule was flexible. He started cooking all the time, bringing down elaborate meals. If I craved pickles, he’d make a dish with a tart vinaigrette. If I wanted spicy, he’d whip up a curry. If I had a late-night craving, I'd text him, and he’d appear a little while later with takeout, sitting with Mark to drink a beer while I ate. 16 With their care, I finally felt happy. I had two people who were genuinely excited to welcome this baby with me. As for Mark and his mother, I was sure they would be filled with love once they saw the adorable baby. When the ultrasound showed we were having twins, everyone was ecstatic. I finally earned praise from Mark and his mother. I cried tears of joy. My sacrifice was worth it. Soon after, Ben moved into the apartment downstairs. They would take turns taking me for walks and coming over to chat. But I am a traditional, modest woman. How could I speak to men other than my husband? So I would mostly sit in silence while they talked to Mark or his mother. But inside, I was secretly pleased. 17 Ten months later, I gave birth to a beautiful pair of boy-girl twins. While I was recovering, my mother-in-law complained of aches and pains and refused to help with the babies. And Mark… Mark’s old college flame, Summer Rose, moved back to town. He started "working late" every night to see her. I waited patiently for him to come back to his family. A good woman waits, ready to forgive her husband’s indiscretions. Thankfully, Julian and Ben were there every day, looking after me and the babies. They filled the role of both husband and father. They told me to focus on healing and not to worry. But sometimes, I couldn't help it. I had sacrificed so much for this family. To protect Mark’s ego, I had hidden his infertility and borne him twins. What more could he possibly want from me? 18 He was the one who said I needed to think of his needs. I did. He was the one who said I needed to be an independent wife and not bother him with problems. I did. I solved our biggest problem all by myself. He and his mother belittled me, and I endured it. All for the sake of our family. And now he was openly cheating on me. 19 And here I was, in my room, trying to figure out how my twins could have different fathers, while he was in the living room, planning to name them after his mistress. I couldn't take it anymore. I stormed out of the room— And then I lost my nerve. Mark was my world. What he said, goes. I retreated back to my room, tears streaming down my face. A few minutes later, Julian knocked and came in with a tray of food. He glanced at the sleeping babies. "Did he upset you again?" he asked softly. "I do everything for him," I choked out. "I gave him children. And he still wants his ex. He wants to name our babies Summer and Rose." Julian's jaw tightened. "He's a bastard. Clara, you should leave him. You and the kids can move upstairs with me. It would save me the trip of bringing food down." I sniffled and shook my head as I uncovered the delicious food he’d made. "Mark is just confused right now. He'll come back to us. Besides, I'm a traditional woman. I can't live with another man." Julian said nothing. When one of the babies woke up, he expertly prepared a bottle and began to feed them. 21 The paternity reports were clear. The boy was Julian's. The girl was Ben's. But they both acted as if both children belonged to them. I never corrected them. Why spoil their happiness with the truth? Pleasing others is just in my nature. I'm always thinking of what's best for everyone else. 22 A little while later, Ben arrived. He and Julian started co-parenting seamlessly. From the living room, my mother-in-law watched them. "Clara!" she called out. "You need to get your strength back so you can give my son more boys! We have to pass on Mark's superior genes." Mark nodded, as if this was the most natural thing in the world. I glanced at Ben and Julian. Well, this would require their help again. If Mark wanted more children, I had no objection. After all, he made a seven-figure salary; he could certainly afford them. And more children would surely make him more committed to our family. 23 "Okay," I said. Julian and Ben beamed. "Sharon," Ben said to my mother-in-law. "I live right downstairs. Why don't I take the babies down to my place for a while? Give these two some time to work on the next one." Julian scoffed. "You? Take care of babies? I'll take them upstairs. My schedule is more flexible. It'll be better for everyone." My mother-in-law clapped her hands. "You two are better to Mark than his own brothers." I thought, no sane man would agree to this. Sending his wife and newborn babies to another man's house? But Mark hesitated for only a second before saying, "You guys love the kids so much, you can be their godfathers. Here, take them. Take Clara, too." 24 "Mark, don't you want me anymore?" I asked, my voice breaking. I started to cry. "Did I do something wrong? Tell me, I'll change. You can name the kids whatever you want. We can have more, we can name them… Love Summer, Cherish Rose… anything! Just please, don't leave me." Mark looked moved. "No, baby, it's not that. It's just… Summer just got back to the country, she has nowhere to stay. I invited her here, and I'm afraid the babies will be too loud for her…" He was kicking me and his children out to move his mistress in? I was still in a daze when I found myself in Julian's apartment. He settled the babies, then wrapped his arms around me. "He doesn't love you, Clara," he said softly. "But I do. And I love our children. Don't cry for a man who doesn't deserve your tears." I sobbed into his chest. He kissed me. I didn't resist. If it weren't for Julian, I think I would have fallen apart. He calmed me. I was ready to once again be the patient wife, waiting for her husband to come home.

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