I’ve been on TLC’s hit reality show *Last Chance Lovers* twice in one year. The first time, my husband Leo Vance and I tore each other to shreds on national television. When the season wrapped, he became my ex-husband. The second time, I was sitting in the studio as a special guest commentator. My agent, Chloe, had tried to talk me out of it. “Genevieve! You have an Oscar nomination, for God’s sake. Why are you going back to reality TV?” Why? To watch my second ex-husband-in-the-making crash and burn, of course. 1 The show’s director was practically bowing. “Ms. Reed, we’re so honored you could make time for us. Truly. Whatever you need, you just say the word. We’ll build the whole show around you.” I gave him a slight nod. Chloe quickly ushered him out of my dressing room. My, how times have changed. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. A year ago, I was here with Leo, about to film the first season of *Last Chance Lovers*. He was a nobody actor, and I was even less than that—a ghost in the Hollywood machine. Back then, I’d overheard that same director complaining in the hallway. “Tell me about it… the A-lister dropped out last minute… otherwise you think we’d be casting these Z-listers? Ugh. But hey, our show’s a hit. Everyone wants a piece of the clout.” I’d wanted to tell Leo we should just walk away. Why were we killing ourselves to claw our way up in this town? But I remembered a rare moment of tenderness from him. “Gen, being on this show doesn’t mean we actually have to get a divorce. This is a huge opportunity, babe. It’s the last year of my contract. I just want one shot to go viral, to show all those casting directors who passed on me what they’re missing.” “Gen, you’ve always talked about wanting a family, right? Once I’m a star, we can have as many kids as you want.” “Just say yes. You’ve waited for me for this long. It’s finally our time to cash in.” Leo’s eyes were sparkling. I signed the contract, and in doing so, signed myself over to the abyss. On the show, Leo became a different person. He listed my every flaw, waxing poetic about his “depression” within our marriage. He talked about how I had “trapped” him, suffocated his career, how he just needed to be free. I started trending on Twitter, but not in a good way. The comments were brutal. “OMG so THAT’S what happened to Leo Vance. I thought he was pretty good in that CW sci-fi show before it got cancelled.” “This is what happens when women don’t have their own careers. They just turn into bitter, nagging housewives.” “SO TOXIC. If I were him, I’d run for the hills. Is this woman a narcissist?” “My poor baby Leo. He deserves so much better.” Every time I tried to defend myself, Leo would shut me down with an exasperated sigh. “I already told you, it’s all scripted for drama. If you keep making a scene, I really will divorce you.” So I swallowed my rage. I started to wonder if maybe they were right. Maybe I wasn’t enough. It all culminated in the season finale, where Leo made a grand declaration in front of the cameras. “Genevieve, this journey has given me a lot of clarity. We’ve been together for so long, but do we even really know each other? I think it’s time we set each other free. The house, the car, it’s all yours. I’ll walk away with nothing.” And just like that, he divorced me. It’s been 321 days since that day. My phone buzzed. A payment reminder for the mortgage. I looked at Chloe. “Any word from the realtor?” Her face was grim. “Gen, you know the market is garbage right now. A house that big in the Hills, at that price point… it’s a tough sell. And that guy is such a bastard. It sounds so noble, saying he’s leaving you the house. Why didn’t he also mention he was leaving you the crippling debt that came with it?” Yeah. Why was he such a bastard? He never even liked me, but he was desperate to marry me. And when he wanted a divorce, the first I heard of it was when he announced it on camera. Well, now it was my turn to be the bastard. Since the whole world didn't seem to know that the new wife he brought on this season was the same woman he’d hit on during the *last* season, I figured I’d let them in on the secret. 2 I walked into the studio wearing a floor-length black gown, as if I were attending my ex-husband’s funeral. The lights were blinding, but I could feel every eye in the room on me. An ex-wife showing up to comment on her ex-husband’s *second* televised divorce attempt? That was worth a hundred trending topics. Especially when that ex-wife had, against all odds, landed her first movie role and gotten a Best Actress nomination, staging one of the biggest comeback stories of the year. “Genevieve, what a surprise! We never thought we’d get you back on the show,” the host said, all fake smiles. “What’s more surprising is that Leo is back for a second divorce, this time with someone else,” I replied smoothly. “Who knows if he’s for real this time or not. As an expert witness, I figured I could offer his new wife some… pointers.” “Hahaha, well! Since you’re being so refreshingly honest, I know this is going to be a great show. Shall we get started? This is a live broadcast, you know.” Of course, I knew. That’s why I came. I wanted Leo to see the little surprise I’d prepared for him in real-time. The show’s intro rolled, and the camera focused on me. “Wow, it looks like the viewers are excited! We’ve just gone live and we’ve already broken the network’s streaming record. Let’s see what our viewers are saying.” What did I want to say? I wanted to say: *“Roll up, roll up! This is the ‘good guy’ you all felt so sorry for, the one who just wanted to escape his marital prison. Turns out, he was already promising the world to his next cellmate before he’d even broken out.”* *“And you, Seraphina Stone, you absolute fool. You really fell for a man who was hitting on you before his divorce was even final? Well, look at you now. Karma’s a bitch, isn’t she?”* *“I’m here today to witness the blessed event of your separation. You two better make it official.”* But I needed the money, and my reputation. The network offered me a number I couldn’t refuse, so I couldn’t completely blow things up in the first episode. *At least make it through three episodes*, I told myself. *No, just make it until my dear ex-husband sees me on his TV screen.* 3 I saw Leo on the monitor first. He was thinner than the last time I’d seen him, and he had a worn-out, haggard look. Funny how the day he divorced me was the brightest he’d looked in years. I can still picture him standing in the sunlight outside the courthouse, waving that little divorce decree, looking me up and down with a sneer. “For the record, I didn’t cheat on you, Genevieve. Even without her, we were over. Got it?” Right now, the host on screen was asking him that very same question. “Leo, we understand you and Seraphina actually met during the filming of the last season. Is that right? Do you consider what happened to be cheating?” “This past year, that question has been crushing me,” Leo said, his voice thick with fake sincerity. “I don’t get it. When the show aired, everyone agreed that Genevieve and I were a terrible match, that I was miserable. But then, suddenly, I’m the cheater? All I did was meet the love of my life at the exact moment I decided to end a relationship that was already dead.” The rest of what he said was a blur. I didn’t snap out of it until the studio lights came up and everyone was looking at me. “Genevieve, what’s your take on the situation back then?” It was time to act. Chloe had told me once, “Gen, you have a gift. Why are you letting this jerk derail your entire future?” So I smiled, a gentle, sad little smile, directly into the camera as the live comments scrolled furiously. “It all happened so long ago. Why dredge up the past? It seems like my ex is really trying to make things work this time. It wouldn’t be right for me to interfere with their life by talking about our old story. Besides…” I pressed a finger to the corner of my eye, careful not to smudge my makeup. “…I’m doing just fine now.” I glanced at the monitor showing the viewer comments. “‘I’m fine now’ is code for ‘he destroyed me back then’!!!” “Wait, so Leo is basically admitting he got with Seraphina before the divorce?” “Dude, you’re not even divorced and you’re already falling for someone else. That’s called cheating, you moron.” “Go back and watch last season. The editing was so shady. All they showed was Gen’s supposed ‘flaws,’ and most of it was just Leo complaining. Maybe he was the real problem and that’s why she felt so insecure.” “Where’s the other woman? Let’s hear her side of the story.” The producers knew good TV. The next segment was Seraphina’s one-on-one interview. 4 Seraphina sat there, not like a homewrecker, but like a beautiful, proud swan. She wasn’t just any swan, though. She was last season’s on-set host. During the mandatory “couples hike” episode, her job was to interview each couple privately at the summit. But on the way up the mountain, Seraphina was already getting a private interview with Leo. “Oh, this trail is so steep! Can someone help me?” she’d chirped. I was stronger and further up the trail, so I reached down to give her a hand. But Leo, moving faster than I’d ever seen him move in my life, shot past me and grabbed her hand first. The only other time he was that quick was in bed—right after, when he’d roll over and start snoring before I could even ask how his day was. Any other time, I could call his name a hundred times and he’d just grunt, “In a minute,” “I’m busy,” or “Can’t you do it yourself? You’re home all day, what else do you have to do?” Seraphina giggled, and their hands stayed clasped for a solid five minutes. I finally had to whisper, “Be careful, the cameras are still rolling. A scandal is not the kind of viral fame you’re looking for.” He reluctantly let go, then turned on me. “See, Genevieve? This is the problem. In your eyes, even helping someone is a crime. This hypersensitivity is what ruined our marriage.” Of course, none of that made it into the final cut. And it certainly wasn’t mentioned in Seraphina’s interview now. “It’s really hurtful that everyone misunderstands,” she said, dabbing a single tear. “Leo and I only met that one time on the show. We just politely exchanged numbers for professional reasons. I admit, I would occasionally text him to ask about his career, but I was never the ‘other woman.’ I even explained this to Genevieve, you can ask her.” “But none of that matters now,” she declared. “What matters is that I want a divorce.” *You couldn’t even make it to your one-year anniversary?* I thought. *You two should have been shackled together from that moment on the mountain.* On camera, I put on a look of deep sympathy. “Oh, sweetie, you have to be sure. My ex… he can be a handful, I know. But men, they need time to mature, don’t they? To give up so soon? Think of all the pressure you two were under to get together. To divorce this quickly seems like such a waste.” I leaned in conspiratorially. “And if you want to have kids, you have to keep trying. Sometimes, you know, it’s just the mental stress that can cause… issues.” I snapped my mouth shut, feigning a gasp, as if I’d just revealed a massive secret. Heh. I did it on purpose. The comment section exploded. “WAIT. Did Gen just say Leo has performance issues??? IS THAT THE TEA??” The viewers had caught on. 5 After the show wrapped, I checked my phone. One unknown number had called me a dozen times. Worried it was the realtor, I called it back. It was answered before the first ring. “Genevieve, are you insane? Why are you sticking your nose in my marriage?” The voice was both completely alien and painfully familiar. When he was divorcing me, I had been pathetic. I had swallowed my pride and tried to contact him in every way possible. I wrote him long, forgiving emails. I told him I understood it was a moment of weakness, that it was my fault, that I would wait for him to come back. I had waited for him to marry me; I could wait for him to return. Leo had blocked me on everything and changed his number. The only reason I knew when and where to show up for the divorce was because his agent told my agent. And now, here he was, calling me himself. “And what the hell was that comment? Are you telling the whole world I have erectile dysfunction?” “What? You must have misunderstood, Leo,” I said sweetly. “I was just talking about pressure. If your mind went somewhere else, I can’t help that.” “Why are you on that show? Do you have any idea what people are saying about me online right now?” When I was in love with him, I thought he had the most beautiful voice in the world. Now, it was just grating noise. I held the phone away from my ear and let him rant. When he finally paused for breath, I replied, “Well, the network invited me. The show was very good to me, you know. I couldn’t just turn my back on them.” And it was true. The show hadn’t just helped me see the truth about a toxic relationship; it had gotten me seen by a director. I’d come to Hollywood to be an actress. I took a nothing role as the eighteenth female lead in that CW sci-fi show, thinking it was a start. But on set, I met Leo. He was flirting with the famous lead actress, a peacock showing off all his feathers. The sun caught his hair, his perfect nose. He was beautiful. I just wished I was the one he was making laugh. At the wrap party, I finally worked up the courage to sit next to him. He was drunk, schmoozing with a producer. Finally, he turned to me. “Let me give you some advice, kid. This town is tough. If you’re not sleeping with someone important, you’re not gonna make it. I think you should just…” He tilted my chin up with his finger. “…find a nice guy and settle down while you’re still young and pretty.” I was a little drunk myself. “Would you marry me?” I blurted out. He didn’t say no. I know how stupid I was. I made chasing him my career and forgot about my own dream. It was after the reality show, after I’d been publicly humiliated, that a director contacted me. “The role isn’t very glamorous,” he’d said. “Every actress we’ve offered it to has turned it down. The ones who want it can’t act. But I saw you on that show. I think you’ve got it in you. Want to audition?” I needed the money to pay the mortgage, so I went. I played a hysterical housewife who discovers her husband is cheating. The character has a complete breakdown, murders him, and then drives her car off a cliff in a blaze of glory. It was the most cathartic experience of my life. The indie film unexpectedly got into a major European film festival, and I was a nominee for Best Actress. Leo was still screaming on the phone. I’d had enough. “And what about you?” I cut in, my voice sharp. “Is this another fake divorce just to get your name trending again? Give me a spoiler. Are you already lining up your next girlfriend?” “You’re sick, Genevieve,” he spat, and hung up. Damn it. I didn’t get to tell him, *“Actually, according to Twitter, you’re the one with the sickness.”* And I didn’t get to say, *“By the way, Seraphina’s love isn’t as unconditional as you think.”* 6 Before Leo and I officially divorced, Seraphina had requested a meeting. She sat across from me at a cafe in Beverly Hills, twisting the engagement ring he’d already given her. “Gen,” she said, “do you believe in destiny? Leo was on the brink of stardom, you know. But marrying you… it was like you stole his luck. Look at him now that you’re breaking up. He’s all anyone is talking about. Why don’t you just give him his freedom? Let him become the star he was meant to be. I’m sure he’ll even thank you in his awards speech.” “And where do you fit in?” I asked. “Oh, Leo says I’m his muse. He says I don’t need to work. My only job is to be his sanctuary.” I’d heard that line of bullshit before. “Honestly, Gen, Leo and I are so spiritually aligned on this,” she continued. “He just *gets* me. I’ve never felt like my hosting job was my true calling. It’s so exhausting. I mean, you saw me on that hike. I couldn’t have made it up that trail without help.” “It was a two-mile loop with a 500-foot elevation gain. Maybe life itself isn’t for you.” “Gen, sweetie,” she said, her voice dripping with condescension. “If you really love him, you should let him go. You can always love him from a distance.” That was the moment I decided to divorce Leo. Not because I was a good person, but because I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I was sickened that I had let myself fall into this trap. Sickened that I had waited for a man like that. Sickened that he had only married me to squash a nasty rumor about him and a female network executive. “You want to get married, right? Let’s do it now,” he’d said, like it was a business deal. I was sickened that he later used that to manipulate me. “If I hadn’t married you, if I’d just kept my connections happy, I’d be a leading man by now.” He would say things like that, and I would just try to love him harder. After my meeting with Seraphina, I went home and cried. A new article had just been published online with paparazzi photos of me talking to her. The headline read: “Genevieve Reed Confronts Husband’s Female Friend in Desperate Bid to Save Marriage.” And in the comments, I saw a familiar username—one of the anonymous accounts I used to use to defend Leo online. The comment said: “OMG I know Leo, he and Seraphina are just friends! Some women can’t handle their own marriage failing so they go and harass innocent people. It’s disgusting.” That was it. I was done. I didn’t want any of it anymore.
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