At the party, Olivia’s friends had me cornered. “We heard you’ve had a crush on Olivia since you were kids,” one of them said, leaning in with a conspiratorial grin. “That you always insisted on being her husband when you played house. So, what’s the deal? Are you still in love with her?” Every eye in the circle landed on me. But my gaze drifted to the corner of the room, to the woman silently pouring herself another drink. “That was a long time ago,” I said, forcing a casual smile. “I was just a kid. I probably caused her more trouble than anything.” I looked down, fiddling with the ring on my finger. “Honestly, I got over it years ago. Besides, I’m getting married soon.” In the sudden silence, the sharp crack of shattering glass echoed through the room. Olivia stared down at her ruined heels, wine soaking into the delicate suede. The corners of her eyes were red, and for a long moment, she seemed completely lost. 1. I could have married Olivia six years ago. What she never knew was that every time she missed her chance, it was because I had designed it that way. It’s because I woke up. I realized this world is a novel, and it’s a tragedy. Olivia is the heroine, my older brother, Michael, is the hero, and I’m just the obsessive, destructive side character. Our families were neighbors, practically joined at the hip. Olivia was the same age as Michael, three years older than me. You could say we were childhood sweethearts, or something close to it. She always looked out for me, a little more than she needed to. I thought that meant she liked me. From the moment I was born, she was there. Through every scraped knee, every victory, every quiet sadness. She was a constant presence for twenty-two years of my life. Loving her felt as natural as breathing. I don't even know when it started. I remember playing house in the backyard. Olivia wanted to be the mom, Michael the dad, and I was their baby. I threw a tantrum, smashing my favorite toy truck on the patio stones. I wasn't the baby, I was the dad. I was going to be the one to put a veil on Olivia, to marry her. Michael just laughed and pushed me towards her. “Alright, alright, you marry her. Go on.” And Olivia… she didn’t say no. She giggled, calling me “honey,” and draped a red dishtowel from her grandmother’s kitchen over her head. I was five years old. But when she put on that makeshift veil, it was the beginning of a seventeen-year dream. That dream ended my junior year of college, on Valentine’s Day. I was out with my roommate when I saw them. Michael and Olivia, walking side-by-side. I watched her gently brush a leaf from his hair, a gesture so intimate it stole the air from my lungs. Then she bought him a small, expensive box of chocolates. My roommate nudged me. “Dude, is she giving Michael chocolates? Is she into him? Does he even know you’re in love with her?” That day, my world collapsed. It only takes a second for a person to turn bad. In that moment, I felt like no one in the world loved me. 2. Jealousy is a seed. Once it sprouts, it grows wild. I couldn’t accept that the woman I’d loved my whole life had her heart set on someone else. So, at my college graduation party, I drugged her drink. I made an excuse to leave early, taking her back to my place. The moment the door closed, she lost all control, her arms wrapping around me as she guided us toward the bedroom. The kisses were frantic, a storm moving from my lips down my stomach, igniting every inch of my skin. I was thrilled. And I was terrified. My plan was to not just have her, but to have Michael walk in on us, to find us in this mess. Then she would have to marry me. But right then, at the absolute peak of my terrible plan, I woke up. My mind was flooded with images from years in the future. Olivia, believing she’d taken advantage of me in a drunken haze, marries me out of a sense of duty. It doesn’t take long for her to discover the truth. Her love curdles into hatred, our life together becoming a wasteland of bitter arguments. During one of them, she shoves me down the stairs, leaving me paralyzed from the waist down. My brother, Michael, never marries. He dies years later on a trip, killed in a hit-and-run. The day Michael dies, Olivia runs out of the house in a frenzy, leaving me, sick and helpless, to die alone in my bed. It was only after my death that I understood. This world was a book written by a sadist. My jealousy was the catalyst that doomed us all. Because of me, no one got a happy ending. 3. “What are you thinking about? You’re going to space out at a time like this?” Olivia’s voice, husky and strained, pulled me back to the present. Her breath was hot against my ear. I reached up and touched her cheek, and then the tears came. Her eyes were so beautiful. But I knew, with a certainty that shattered my heart, that I wasn't the one she truly saw. Her desire-filled expression melted into confusion. “Why are you crying?” she whispered. “Don’t you… want me?” Yes. I wanted her more than anything. I loved her down to my bones. But even if I was a bad person, I wasn't evil enough to want everyone to die. “Olivia, I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I made a mistake. We can’t do this.” She looked lost, but before she could process it, her rationality was already gone, washed away by the drug. And that’s when Michael came home. He wasn’t alone. Olivia’s best friend, Zoe, was with him. They saw us, saw Olivia on top of me, and assumed the worst. They pulled her off me, Michael so enraged he actually grabbed a broom from the kitchen and started swinging it at her. The scene was pure chaos. And in that moment, I saw just how colossally I had screwed up. “It wasn't her!” I yelled, scrambling to cover myself. “It was me.” I confessed everything. The room went dead silent. Everyone just stared at me with an alien expression, like they’d never really seen me before. Zoe pointed a trembling finger at my face, her voice tight with rage. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done? This is a crime.” “I know,” I whispered. “I’ll accept whatever happens.” In the end, it was Olivia who stepped in front of me. “He’s just a kid, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It was a stupid prank, let’s not make it a federal case.” “A kid?” Zoe shrieked. “He’s twenty-two, Olivia! When are you going to stop protecting him?” Tears streamed down my face as I looked at her. I wanted to take her to a hospital, to make sure she was okay. But when my hand touched her arm, she flinched away like I had burned her. Michael let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll take her. You stay here and think about what you did.” Suddenly, I understood what my brother had meant all those years ago when he said everyone loved me. This—this cold, empty space between us—this is what it felt like to truly not be loved at all. From that moment on, my life became an act of atonement. 4. The story spread like poison. Everyone knew that some psycho was so obsessed with Olivia that he’d resorted to drugging her. I sent her a flood of apology texts. I bought gifts, begging Michael to deliver them for me. A few days later, a single message came through. “I’m not angry. But if you like someone, you should just tell them. You don’t need to do things like this.” By the time I received it, I was already on a train to New York City. “Thank you, and I’m so sorry,” I typed back. “Don’t worry. I’ll never force you to like me again.” After sending it, I popped out the SIM card, cut it in half with a pair of scissors, and put a new one in my phone. Before I left, I’d told Michael he could message me if he missed me, but to never, ever mention Olivia’s name. I didn’t want to be the villain anymore. I had to leave my old life behind completely. … I finished my internship and landed a full-time job. I was scraping by, but I was making a life for myself in the city. I thought I would never see Olivia again. I should have known better. She was too brilliant, too successful. She was transferred to my company’s New York headquarters to become our new COO. The day they introduced the new “Ms. Sterling,” I felt my blood turn to ice. It was a cruel joke played by fate. I watched her walk through the office, a wave of respect and admiration parting before her, and disappear into a corner office. Thankfully, she didn't see me. A colleague whistled under his breath. “Wow. About time we got a boss who’s an absolute smoke-show.” He nudged me with his elbow. “Hey, Ethan. She’s exactly your type, right?” I snapped back to reality and gave a numb nod. “Yeah. My type.” My manager slapped me lightly on the back of the head. “Don’t even think about it. I heard some psycho tried to drug her once. Ever since, she has zero tolerance for creeps who pull shady stuff.” My heart seized. My most shameful memory, dragged out into the light to be publicly flogged. My colleague whispered, his hand over his mouth. “Jesus, what kind of scumbag does that?” I just wanted the floor to swallow me whole. 5. Logically, I should have quit on the spot. But the job market was brutal, and I couldn’t afford to be unemployed. Besides, my job was insignificant. My desk was tucked away in a forgotten corner. Even though we were on the same floor, our paths never crossed. For two months, I lived like a rat in the walls. Then Zoe came to the office to see Olivia. Olivia was in a meeting, so Zoe started wandering around. I kept my head down, praying she wouldn’t notice me. But of course, she did. “Ethan? Is that you?” Her voice was loud enough to turn heads. “Holy shit, you’re unbelievable! You followed her all the way to New York? I gotta hand it to you, that’s some next-level obsession.” Every single person in my department turned to stare. I felt naked, their eyes like whips on my skin. My voice was thick, my nose burning. “No, that’s not it. I worked here first. I had no idea this would happen…” Just then, the conference room door opened and Olivia walked out. The moment she saw me, she froze. “Ethan? What are you doing here?” Before I could even try to explain, Zoe pointed a finger at me. “What do you think he’s doing? He’s here for you. This is insane. I’m posting about this.” Olivia’s hand, holding a folder, was trembling. I could see the humiliation in her eyes. It must be disgusting for her to see me here. “Ethan,” she said, her voice strained. “Wait for me at lunch. I have something urgent right now, but we’ll talk then.” She turned and followed the CEO into his office. A coworker leaned over, their eyes wide with excitement. “What’s the deal between you and the new COO?” Before Zoe could answer, I looked at her, my eyes pleading. “Please,” I mouthed. “Don’t.” She rolled her eyes and walked away. But I couldn’t face her. I didn’t have the courage. All I could see was that future vision of myself, paralyzed and dying alone in filth. I went straight to my manager’s office and resigned. My position didn’t require a lengthy transition. An hour later, my desk was cleared out, and I walked out of that building for the last time. 6. I had to change my phone number again. I felt like a fugitive. From New York, I ran to Chicago. I was smarter this time. I’d check in with Michael, ask about Olivia’s travel plans. As long as she was coming to my city, I was leaving. She would arrive, and I’d already be gone. This went on until my company offered me a position overseas in London. Finally, I could stop running. I spent six years in London, going from broke to comfortable. The only reason I came back to the States was because Michael got sick. He threw a party to welcome me home. And Olivia and Zoe were there. Six years. Olivia was calmer, more self-assured. Time hadn’t touched her face, but it had given her a new depth, a quiet confidence that was even more captivating. “Ethan,” she said with a small smile. “Welcome back. It must have been a long flight.” There was no surprise in her eyes. It was as if time had smoothed over all the rough edges. She and Michael had never gotten married. It seemed my little stunt had left its mark on their relationship, too. Some of our old friends were married with kids; others were still playing the field. Michael had a stable city government job and had worked his way up to department head. Olivia was the most successful of all of us. She’d slowly bought into her company, and now she was the CEO. Apparently, she owned several apartments in New York. After a few hours, most people were drunk. Except for Olivia. She hadn’t touched a drop. Zoe nudged her playfully. “You’re not getting married, so what’s with all the apartments? You should let me live in one, help you out.” Olivia just smiled and looked over at me. “Ethan’s not married either,” she said smoothly. “And he owns a place in London. Why don’t you ask him to help you out?” The sudden attention made my heart jump. Her friends seized the opportunity and swarmed around me. “That’s right, Ethan! You were always so crazy about Olivia. You insisted on being her husband when you played house. Are you still in love with her?” Every eye was on me. I glanced at Olivia. She was still smiling, pouring drinks for everyone as if the question had nothing to do with her. “I was just a kid,” I said, shaking my head. “I caused her a lot of trouble back then. Honestly, I got over it years ago…” I touched the plain silver band on my left hand. “Besides, I’m getting married soon. I’ll be sure to invite you all to the wedding.” In the sudden silence, I heard the crack of shattering glass. Olivia stared down at her ruined heels, her drink spilled all over them. The corners of her eyes were red, and she couldn't seem to look away. 7. “Sorry,” she mumbled, her voice tight. “My hand slipped. I’ll clean it up.” She got up and quickly left the table. Michael turned to me, his brow furrowed. “When did you meet someone?” The villainous side character in me was an expert liar. “About six months ago. She’s British.” When Olivia came back, she, the one who hadn't been drinking all night, downed one glass of wine, then another. Eventually, the party broke up. Olivia stood in front of me. “Ethan. Aren’t you going to walk me home?” I hesitated. She was drunk; it probably wasn’t safe for her to go alone. But all the way to her apartment door, she didn’t say a single word. I watched her fumble with her keys and unlock the door. “Well,” I said, shuffling my feet. “I should probably get going. You’re home safe.” Suddenly, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside. I lost my balance, my arms instinctively wrapping around her to steady myself. The door slammed shut behind us, and she pressed me against it. The apartment was dark, and my other senses went into overdrive. The smell of wine on her breath was intoxicating as it washed over my ear. My heart was hammering against my ribs. “Olivia, what are—” I never finished the word. Her lips crashed against mine, cold and demanding. It was a storm, plundering my mouth, leaving me no chance to escape. “Ethan, why did you lie?” she whispered against my lips, her voice raw. “Why tell everyone you have a girlfriend? You’re the one who woke all this up in me. Why am I always the one left chasing you?” “Olivia, stop this. I have to go home.” She held me tighter, her voice cracking with a bitter, choked sob. “Your heart is so cruel, Ethan.” She pressed my hand against her chest, against the soft swell of her breast. “You shouldn’t have abandoned me. Eight years ago, when you did what you did… you should have taken responsibility for me.”
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