1 My only wish was to give Anson a complete family. Despite my fear of pain, I mustered the courage to have his child. But a midwife’s error caused a blood vessel in my brain to rupture, and just like that, the brilliant mathematician became a simpleton who couldn’t even count. Everyone urged Anson to move on. But he’d cradle our baby with one arm and gently wipe crumbs from my mouth with the other. “I can’t let this family fall apart,” he insisted. “I’ll care for her for life.” To cover my medical bills, he buried his pride and became the relentless Mr. Hayes, consumed by work. Juggling the office and two dependents at home, he began to gray by thirty. Then one day, I spilled milk all over the floor again. Anson’s frustration finally boiled over. He shoved my head to the ground, snarling, “Lick it up. Why did you survive? Why didn’t you just die?” Terrified, I wet myself. The sight seemed to shock him back to his senses. He staggered away, pale, and locked himself in his study all night. The next morning, he made a call. “Mrs. Davis? About that woman you mentioned… I’m ready to meet her.” … Anson brought a woman home. As always, I tried to throw myself into his arms, but for the first time, he stepped aside, a frown creasing his brow as he told me to stand properly. I just stood there, stunned, watching him offer a smile to the woman he called Mindy. "This is my wife, Sasha, and our five-year-old son, Leo. I hope you'll be able to help take care of them." Mindy’s lips curved into a gentle smile. "We're family now. No need to be so formal." Leo clutched my leg, baring his teeth at the stranger like a little guard dog. I didn’t understand the strange ache in my chest, but I patted Leo’s head. "It's okay, sweetie. She's our new nanny." We had a new person come to look after us every few months. A flicker of awkwardness crossed Mindy's face before she pulled a Spider-Man lollipop from her purse. Leo’s eyes lit up instantly. Then, Mindy gently combed my tangled hair back into place. I saw the look of relief in Anson's eyes, so I bit my lip and didn't say a word about how hard she was pulling, how much it hurt. I still remembered making Anson angry last time, and I didn't want it to happen again. I pulled out the little cookie I'd been saving for him and held it out. "Anson, I promise I'll be good." But I'd held it too long. It crumbled in my hand, scattering crumbs all over the floor Mindy had just mopped. Anson’s fury mounted in an instant. "Sasha, for God's sake, can't you just give me a moment of peace?" He knelt to clean up the mess with Mindy, his voice laced with apology. "I'm sorry. She's... simple. You'll have to be patient with her." My cheeks puffed out. Anson hated it when people called me that. He'd even gotten into a fight over it once. I shoved the rest of the cookie into my mouth. I wasn't sharing with him anymore. And just like that, Mindy moved in. Leo was the happiest of all. "My clothes smell so nice every day now!" he'd chirp. "And Auntie Mindy's cooking is delicious!" He bounced in front of me, full of life, and I looked down at myself—at my increasingly stained collar and the sharp angles of my bones poking through my skin. Apparently, Anson noticed too. He asked Mindy about it. She hesitated before answering. "Sasha can be... difficult to manage." "When you're not here, she bites me, hits me... I'm honestly afraid to touch her." As she spoke, she showed Anson the teeth marks on her arm. "You're lying!" I shot out like a cornered animal, ramming my head into her stomach. I never bit anyone. Anson would believe me. He had to. The next second, a sharp, solid slap landed across my face. "Sasha, we're doing everything we can for you! Why can't you just behave?" Anson's eyes were red with rage. "Do you have to drag us all down with you to be happy?" Seeing his beloved Mindy on the floor, Leo started pounding on me with his tiny fists. "Sasha's bad! Don't bully Mommy!" 2 Anson had told me Leo was the baby I’d risked my life to bring into this world. But he had never once called me "Mommy." Now, the first time he said the word, it was for another woman. A sour knot formed in my chest. Anson seemed to come to his senses then, staring at his trembling hand in shock. "Sasha, I..." The slap stung, but I knew he didn't mean it. Anson was a good man, the best man. When the flu hit us hard a while back, both Leo and I got sick. He carried us back and forth from the hospital, refusing to rest even though he was burning up himself. He didn’t collapse until we were both fully recovered. "It's okay! It doesn't hurt!" I forced a smile, but the throb in my cheek made me wince. Just then, Mindy approached with a tube of ointment. I slapped it out of her hand. "Bad woman! I don't want your things!" I'd always been clear about who I liked and who I didn't. The softness that had just returned to Anson's eyes hardened again. "Sasha, you are unbelievable!" He grabbed me impatiently and shoved me into the dark, musty wardrobe. "You can come out for dinner when you've learned your lesson!" "No! I don't want to be in here! Let me out!" Anson knew how terrified I was of the dark. We kept the lights on in the house all year round for me. I hammered on the door, my body trembling uncontrollably, but the only response was the cheerful clatter of forks and plates as they started their meal. Realizing that begging Anson was useless, I started screaming for Leo. "Leo, help me! Get me out!" Leo was small, but he was always my sweet boy. I could snatch his snacks and he wouldn't get mad. If another kid called me a simpleton, he'd find them and punch them. But this time, his voice came back, cold and distant. "Sasha, you're not being good. I'm not playing with you." I don't know how long I screamed. A sweet, metallic taste filled my throat, and my head grew so heavy I could barely hold it up. Suddenly, the door swung open, flooding the darkness with light. Mindy stood there, a bowl of rice in her hand and a saccharine smile on her face. Her words, however, were pure venom. "How does a simpleton like you end up with a rich, devoted husband? God must be blind." She sneered. "But don't worry. Everything that's yours will soon be mine." With that, she dumped the bowl of rice all over herself, grabbed my hand, and let out a piercing scream. "Ah!" Anson rushed in. Seeing the scene, he sent me flying with a vicious kick to the chest. A sharp pain tore through me, and a spray of crimson erupted from my lips. "I... I was just worried Sasha was hungry," Mindy sobbed, burying her face in Anson's chest. "I tried to bring her some food, but she just went crazy... She tried to choke me..." "No, that's not... that's not what happened!" I gasped, clutching my chest as I tried to lift my head. But Anson cut me off. "Enough! Sasha, how many times do I have to tell you? You don't hit people!" I shrank back, terrified. I had never seen this side of him. "Anson, I just... I don't feel safe here," Mindy whimpered, her eyes glistening with tears as she looked up at him. "You and Leo are her family, but... I'm all alone." Anson's body went rigid. He turned and looked at me, his eyes filled with a storm of emotions too complex for me to understand. Then, he scooped Mindy into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. That night, Mindy was like an opera singer. Her performance went on for hours. 3 From that day on, Mindy’s belly began to swell. Leo told me she was going to have a baby brother for him to play with. An involuntary cramp seized my chest, and I rubbed at the spot. "I want to play with the baby brother, too." I tiptoed over to where Mindy was napping on the sofa and gently rested my head on her rounded stomach. "Ah!" Her eyes flew open, wide with shock and fear. Suddenly, she clutched her belly, beads of sweat popping on her forehead. They rushed her to the hospital. Anson, already exhausted from a full day of overtime, raced to her side. The baby was fine, but Mindy was hysterical. "Anson! Sasha tried to hurt me and the baby!" she shrieked. "You have to send her away! Please, just until the baby is born. You can bring her back then." I knew I’d done something wrong. I huddled in a corner, trying to make myself small. Anson raised his hand, his arm trembling with rage, but after a long moment, he let it fall. He sighed, a long, ragged sound, and went to Mindy's side, whispering something I couldn't hear. She started screaming and throwing things. Anson led me away. I spoke up, my voice small. "Anson, if you send me away... can you not send me too far?" "I told you, our family is not going to be separated!" His voice was raw, his eyes shot with bloodshot veins. With a gentle push, he backed me into the storage room. Click. The door locked from the outside. "Anson, what are you doing?!" "Just be good, Sasha. You only have to wait until Mindy's baby is born. Then you can come out." His voice, muffled and heavy, came through the door. It sounded so, so tired. So I decided to be good. I lay down on the cold floor and waited for Anson to feel better and let me out. But I slept and woke, slept and woke, and the door never opened. My stomach growled, a loud, empty protest. "Shh, tummy, don't cry. I'll find you something to eat." I searched the cluttered room and found only half a piece of stale fruitcake. It was hard and a little bitter. After eating it, I was still just as hungry. "Anson, I'm hungry!" I banged on the door, my voice cracking into a desperate wail. It was late at night when he finally wrenched the door open, his face dark with fury. I just looked at him, my mouth hanging open pitifully. "So hungry..." He seemed to remember then that I hadn't eaten. A flash of guilt crossed his face. He grabbed a few slices of bread from the fridge and thrust them at me, but my eyes were glued to the pot of chicken soup simmering on the stove. Without a word, he slammed the door shut again. "That's for Mindy. You can't have any." It dawned on me then that the good things in this house were no longer for me first. After eating the dry bread, I remembered I was in the storage room. This wasn't a place for sleeping. I started banging on the door again. "I'm sleepy! I want to go to bed!" The rhythm of my fists against the wood was like a drum, and I found it strangely entertaining. "Sasha, are you deaf?!" Anson yanked the door open, huge dark circles under his eyes. "Mindy needs to sleep! Can you please just be quiet!" I hiccuped in fear. Just then, Mindy appeared, holding out a small white bottle. "If she takes these, we'll all get some peace." Anson hesitated. "She's just a simpleton, Anson," Mindy pressed. "She won't know the difference. It'll be fine." His expression hardened. He pried my mouth open and forced several small white pills down my throat. They were bitter, and I wanted to spit them out, but Anson's fingers pushed them deeper, past my tongue. The world slowly faded to black. I was so, so sleepy. My body went limp, and I collapsed onto the floor. After that, whenever I opened my eyes, they would feed me the little white pills. The periods of darkness grew longer and longer. Finally, even Anson realized something was wrong. He rushed to the storage room and flung open the door. He shook me, slapped my cheeks, but I didn't respond. Tears, hot and heavy, splashed onto my face. "Sasha, don't scare me! Please, don't scare me!" 4 I was rushed to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. Mindy, without a word, packed her bags and went back to her parents' house, refusing to return. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Leo, screaming and crying at my bedside. "You bad woman, give me back my mommy!" Then I felt a warm drop on the back of my hand. Anson was crying. I panicked, not knowing what to do. "Anson, it doesn't hurt. Don't cry, please don't cry." "Sasha, what am I going to do? What am I going to do?" He was like a caged animal, pacing and frantic, desperate to break free from the invisible bars surrounding him. "My life was just getting back on track. I can't let you ruin it all over again." He looked at me, his eyes pleading. "Just go to the asylum, okay? Please?" I didn't know what an asylum was. But if it would make Anson happy, I would go anywhere. The next day, I was taken to a big house with high walls. "Sasha, Leo and I will visit you every week," Anson promised before getting in his car and driving away without so much as a wave goodbye. So I started counting the days on my fingers. "Hey, simpleton, you even know how to count?" a few of the nurses snickered amongst themselves. I turned my back to them, my cheeks puffed out in annoyance. Anson used to tell me I was once the country's youngest mathematical genius! But I'd run out of fingers and toes to count on, and Anson and Leo still hadn't come. Oh no! The thought struck me like a bolt of lightning. What if something happened to them? The fear grew until it was all I could think about. So, when the nurses weren't looking, I slipped out. I stumbled along, asking person after person for directions, until I finally found my way back to our street. Seeing the familiar building, I beamed with pride. I'm not a simpleton! I found my way home all by myself! But then I saw it. A pile of my clothes, discarded in a trash heap by the curb. I froze, my eyes drifting up toward our apartment. There, on the balcony, was Anson, gently holding Mindy in his arms as they soaked in the afternoon sun. And Leo was making funny faces at a baby in a cradle, trying to make him laugh. I took a few numb steps forward, just close enough to hear their voices drift down. "What are you planning to do about Sasha?" Mindy asked. Anson's voice was heavy, final. "I've taken care of her long enough. Just let her live out her days in the asylum. You and the baby are my future now." So that was it. Anson didn't want me anymore. I must have become too much of a burden. I quietly turned around and walked all the way back to the asylum. Three days later, a morning news report sent shockwaves through the city. "A fire broke out late last night at the Northwood Asylum. Authorities report that among the one hundred and ten patients and staff, there were no survivors." Anson shot up from his chair, the legs scraping violently against the floor. The next second, his phone began to ring. He answered it numbly. A gentle, pitying voice came through the line. "Mr. Hayes, I'm very sorry to inform you... your wife was among the victims of the fire."
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