My grandma’s new boyfriend—a guy young enough to be my classmate—thought I owed him alimony. “I provided your grandmother with months of emotional support,” he said, cornering me outside the hospital cafeteria. “Now that she’s gone, it’s your turn to show some respect. It’s not much, just five grand a month. I’ve already texted you my Venmo. Don’t be late.” I actually laughed, shot him a look of disgust, and turned to walk away. That’s when he started wailing, a full-blown public spectacle. “Hey, everyone, get a look at this!” he shouted, tears streaming down his face with Emmy-worthy speed. “Granddaughter refuses to take care of her elders! She makes over ten grand a month and won’t spare a dime for the man who loved her grandma! This is what’s wrong with kids today! No respect!” I looked at the “elder” in front of me, who couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, and pulled out my grandparents’ marriage certificate. “Actually,” I said, my voice cold and clear, “you can start by paying back every single dollar my grandmother ever spent on you.” 1 In the months before she died, my grandmother, Eleanor, started acting strangely. One day she’d sigh about how she’d never seen the cobblestone streets of New Orleans in the spring. The next, she’d complain that my grandpa, Arthur, was a stoic old bore and she’d never even seen the big sky of Montana. I had already booked us flights to New Orleans. But just before we were supposed to leave, Grandma dropped a bomb: she was in love. My grandpa, a quiet man who spent his life building bridges and speaking in blueprints, just took off his glasses and polished them, his hands trembling slightly. He didn’t say a word, but I could see the tears welling in his eyes. “Grandma, what are you talking about?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. “You’re sixty-five. Grandpa is right here. Have you been watching too much reality TV?” She just glared at my grandpa, her nose scrunched up in a way I’d never seen before. “You don’t need to worry about it,” she sniffed. “I’m going to New Orleans with my new boyfriend. I’ll bring you back some beignets.” And just like that, she grabbed her suitcase and headed for the door. “Grandma, what about your blood pressure medication?” I pleaded, following her. “You can’t just go off by yourself! Do you even know how to use a mobile boarding pass?” She wouldn’t listen. She was a woman on a mission, dragging her little roller bag behind her, deaf to my protests. It was only when we got to the elevator that I saw him. A guy, maybe twenty-five or twenty-six, decked out in flashy streetwear, his blond hair meticulously messy. He stood there, bouncing one leg like he had a nervous twitch. “Yo,” he said, looking me up and down. “You must be the granddaughter. Nice to meet ya. Aren’t you gonna give your new grandpa a little welcome gift?” He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, expertly flicking one into his mouth. When he leaned toward Grandma, she actually blushed, fumbling in her purse for a lighter and sparking it for him. “You look so cool when you smoke, babe,” she cooed. “Babe?” I repeated the word, my voice barely a whisper. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. “Grandma, don’t tell me this is your boyfriend.” Her eyes darted away for a second, but the blond leech just wrapped an arm around her, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” That was it. I put my hands on my hips, my voice rising. “Grandma, do you have any idea what you’re doing? You’re really going to New Orleans with this… this kid?” With him by her side, her confidence surged. “Yes! I am!” she declared. But he cut her off. “Hey, watch your mouth,” he snapped at me. “It’s not ‘this kid.’ I’m your grandma’s boyfriend. You’re gonna call me Grandpa.” I was about to unleash a string of curses, but Grandma stepped in front of him. “Chloe! What is wrong with you? I expect you to be polite to… to your grandpa! This is my boyfriend. A real, proper boyfriend. And yes, we are going to New Orleans together. Now stop interfering and remember your manners.” I felt like I was going to explode. “Grandma, do you know how old he is? How old you are? What manners? He’s barely older than I am! And can’t you smell that cheap cologne? He’s a gold digger! A leech!” Before I could say more, he planted a loud, wet kiss on her cheek. “You’re so good to me, sweetheart,” he purred. “Don’t listen to her. She doesn’t understand love. Spending money on the person you love is the most romantic thing in the world. Speaking of which, I saw the cutest matching backpacks at the mall yesterday. They’d be perfect for our travel photos. The mall is on the way to the airport…” 2 After the kiss, my grandma was beaming, a goofy grin plastered on her face. I don’t even think she heard what he said. She just nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, of course, darling! I love buying you things. When you look handsome, it makes me look good!” Just then, the apartment door opened again. My grandpa, his bad hip making him slow, had followed us out. He arrived just in time to see the blond kid give my grandma another sloppy kiss, leaving a faint trail of saliva on her wrinkled cheek. “Eleanor…” Grandpa’s voice was a ragged whisper, filled with more worry than anger. The kid glanced at him and sneered. “So this is the old geezer you wasted your life with, huh, babe? Poor you. But don’t worry, you’ve got me now.” Grandma snorted. “You’re right. He’s useless. No romance, no money. Now he’s old and I have to take care of him. Not like you. You just make me happy.” She turned on Grandpa, jabbing a finger in his direction. “Arthur! I’m telling you now, I am sick and tired of you! Stay out of my business!” The kid’s eyes lit up. He showered her face with more kisses. “So, babe, when are you gonna kick this fossil to the curb and marry me? I can’t wait for our honeymoon.” I watched them, my stomach churning. I glanced at my grandpa. The light had gone out of his eyes. His hand, which he’d raised as if to reach for her, dropped to his side. He looked utterly defeated. In that moment, I wanted to wash my hands of the whole thing. My grandma had been complaining about Grandpa for years. She was always yelling at him, claiming she was his caretaker, when in reality, it was him, limping and in constant pain, who looked after her. And now this… bringing this parasite into our home. I sighed and gently took Grandpa’s arm. “Grandpa, let’s go back inside. It’s not worth getting upset over this.” But he wouldn’t budge. He just kept muttering, “I have to bring Eleanor back… What if she gets hurt? She’s never had to fend for herself… What if he tricks her… Eleanor, don’t go…” As he spoke, the elevator doors closed, and my grandmother disappeared with her boy toy, without a single look back. 3 Grandpa suddenly pushed me away and lunged for the elevator, his bad hip causing him to stumble and fall. Even from the floor, he kept jabbing at the call button, his voice cracking. “Eleanor… Eleanor, don’t go… Come back…” The elevator was already on its way down. He tried to scramble toward the stairwell. “Chloe, please… help me get her back. She’ll get hurt out there. She’s never had a hard day in her life. What if he takes advantage of her?” Seeing the tears in his eyes, I finally gave in. But when we found them in New Orleans, she was nestled in the kid’s arms, putting on a public display of affection that made everyone around them uncomfortable. A little kid pointed and asked his mom, “Mommy, why is that grandma kissing her son?” The mother just grabbed her child and hurried away. Grandpa saw them together, and all the fight went out of him. “Chloe… I think she doesn’t want me anymore.” I couldn’t stand to see him like that. I marched over and pulled them apart. “Grandma, we’re going home. You wanted to see New Orleans, you’ve seen it. Grandpa and I will take you around, but you can’t listen to this guy anymore. He’s using you for your money! Can’t you see that?” She shoved me away. “Chloe! Your mother died when you were a baby! Who raised you? I just want to live my own life for once! Why can’t you support me? Are you going to just watch me waste the rest of my years with that boring old man?” She was so angry she was hyperventilating. The kid, whose name I learned was Kyle, just kept kissing her face, murmuring, “It’s okay, babe. You’re my sweet, generous baby. You told me spending money on me makes you happy.” Grandpa finally caught up, just in time to see Grandma pull a thick wad of cash from her purse and press it into Kyle’s hand. “Eleanor…” Grandpa’s hand trembled. “You’re being a fool…” My grandmother didn’t have a pension. She’d never worked a day in her life. All the money she was spending was Grandpa’s retirement savings. “Grandma!” I yelled. “That’s Grandpa’s money! You’re breaking his heart!” But she was beyond reason. “I’ve earned it! I slaved away for that old man my whole life! His money is my money! I’ll spend it however I want, and neither of you can stop me!” She took Kyle’s arm and stormed off. As they left, I heard her say, “Don’t listen to them, darling. Didn’t you say you saw a jacket you liked? I’ve got plenty of money, I’ll buy it for you…” I felt a knot tighten in my chest. All I could do was take my heartbroken grandpa for a walk to try and clear our heads. The next day, I got a call from the police. “Are you the next of kin for Eleanor Miller?” My heart sank. Grandma was dead. She and Kyle had been on their way to a designer clothing store. They had an argument because he wasn't holding her hand to cross the street. In a fit of pique, she’d stormed into traffic and was killed instantly. Because she had run into the road, the accident was ruled her fault. Kyle, of course, was already trying to spin the story. “I’m telling you, she was just old, you know? Not looking where she was going. If I hadn’t jumped back, that car would’ve hit me too! My heart is still pounding… Can you believe it, officer?” He even had the gall to wink at the female cop who was taking his statement. She was not impressed. “Sir, this is a police station. Please conduct yourself appropriately.” My grandpa just stared at the death certificate, at the name ‘Eleanor Miller’ printed in stark black ink. His face was frozen. His mouth opened, but no sound came out except a strangled “Ah… ah…” Two silent tears rolled down his cheeks, saying more than words ever could. I felt a hollow ache in my chest. As Grandma had said, she was the one who raised me. My father had dropped me off with them after my mom died and then vanished from my life. She was the only mother I’d ever known. I thought she’d be with us for years to come. I never imagined this… this parasite Kyle would destroy our family. And he was still talking. “You know, she promised she’d buy me that jacket. We never even made it to the store. Hey, granddaughter, listen. After you deal with all the funeral stuff, you should do your duty and buy that jacket for your grandpa. And hey, I’ll let the whole ‘no welcome gift’ thing slide. But you’re going to have to start paying my monthly support on time.” 5 Hearing Kyle's words, Grandpa finally snapped. He lunged at him, dragging his bad leg. “You! It’s all your fault! You killed my Eleanor with your sweet talk! You have to pay! Give me back my Eleanor!” He was aiming for Kyle’s throat, his eyes red with fury. But Grandpa was old and frail. Kyle, young and agile, easily sidestepped him. “Hey, old man, what’s your problem?” Kyle sneered. “Me and my babe had a thing, it was consensual. What’s it to you? Besides, look at you. You’ve got that old people smell. What woman would want you? Eleanor told me all about it! She said you were sloppy, that you never showered, that you stank! She said she was sick of taking care of you, sick of looking at you!” A police officer gently restrained Grandpa. But I couldn't hold back anymore. I wanted to slap the smirk off Kyle's face, but I knew, in a police station, that would only give him more ammunition. “Kyle,” I said, my voice dangerously low. “A minute ago you said you and my grandma were just friends. Now she’s your ‘babe’ again? Let me ask you, where were you when she stepped into the road? Why did you let her go?” His arrogant expression flickered. “Wh-what are you talking about? We weren’t anything serious. She was married. She just liked me, you know? Like a grandson. Bought me some stuff. It was no big deal. Don’t you go making accusations! I could sue you for slander! Besides, she was old! What would I want with her? She probably did it on purpose! Maybe she was tired of you two nagging her all the time! Yeah, maybe it was suicide! It had nothing to do with me!” The hypocrisy was astounding. One minute he’s demanding to be called ‘Grandpa,’ the next he’s calling her an old woman who killed herself. Before I could respond, I saw Grandpa clutch his chest, his face contorted in pain, and collapse. “Grandpa!” I screamed. Kyle just pointed a finger at him. “See! I was right! He knows his wife couldn't stand him! That’s why she did it! He’s having a breakdown! I told you her death had nothing to do with me!”
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