
I was reborn on my fifth birthday. My older brother, Kevin, had snuck me out of the house to "play." He set me down on a busy street corner and pulled a piece of candy from his pocket. "Audie, bro's gotta use the restroom. You wait right here." That’s when the pop-up comments appeared in my vision, scrolling like a live-stream chat right in front of his face. [As soon as the Male Lead ditches his bratty sister, he'll find the Female Lead, our lucky little star! Then the family's rags-to-riches story can finally start. Can't wait!] [But the villainess is only five. It's freezing out here. Is he really just going to leave her? He's a teenager, he can't be that cruel.] [Cruel? Please. That villainess is rotten to the core. She's just a plot device to cause trouble later. So annoying.] [Exactly. It’d be better if she just froze to death. Then she wouldn't be able to interrupt the Male and Female Leads every time things are about to get spicy. Let us have our fun!] [YEET THE VILLAINESS! I'm here for the adopted-sibling romance! Let's goooo! lol] So, in my first life, my brother hadn't *accidentally* lost me. He’d thrown me away on purpose. "Audie, you be a good girl and wait, okay?" Kevin cooed, holding out the candy. "Here, your favorite." I snatched the candy and wrapped my arms around his leg, letting out a wicked grin. "Okay, I'll be good. But I also want a can of peaches, cookies, a soda, chips, a hot pretzel, Fruit Roll-Ups, and a big slice of pizza…" When he tried to refuse, I started screaming my head off and refused to let go. I didn’t release him until he'd spent the entire hundred-dollar bill he’d swindled from our parents. Then, clutching my mountain of snacks, I sat down to wait for my new brother to come find me. 1 In my last life, I waited from dawn until dusk. My brother never came back. But someone else did: Leo. Leo was fifteen that year. His mom was dead, and his dad had skipped town. He ran a small crew of kids in similar situations, hustling to get by, flipping whatever they could find. The day he found me, he'd just lost everything on a bad deal. He was broke, so he wasn't planning on picking up a stray. But he saw me just standing there like a little wooden doll, my face pale and blue from the cold. He rummaged through his pockets and all he found was a single, crumpled cigarette. He lit it and handed it to me. "To keep your hands warm," he said. I thought he was a good person. And cute. I decided to follow him. He didn't notice me until I was standing in the doorway of the abandoned warehouse he called home. He tried to shoo me away, but I wouldn't budge. I started introducing myself to anyone who would listen. "I'm Leo's sister," I'd say proudly. "His real sister." I even started calling myself Audrey, same as him. Leo never officially admitted we were related, but he stopped trying to get rid of me. And he was good to me. Whenever there was food, I got the bigger half. The place was drafty, but he built me a small bed and covered it with a soft blanket. He slept on a pile of newspapers. When he had a little extra cash, he bought me new clothes. He started sending me to school. A month before the Miller family found me, when I was fifteen, Leo died in a freak accident. 2 It wasn't until I died, was reborn, and saw those pop-up comments that I understood. Leo and I were just side characters in a book. Our lives were pre-written, and we were both destined to be tragic footnotes. After the Millers found me, the fake heiress, Crystal, couldn't stand me. I fought her at every turn, becoming the "evil stepsister" of the story. Once my family was thoroughly disgusted with me, my own brother—the male lead—pushed me down a flight of stairs and killed me. Leo's fate was even worse. He didn't even get a name in the book. He was just "the orphan who raised her." His early death served only to make my backstory more tragic, my personality more "twisted." As if his life was meaningless. I couldn't understand it. Why did a selfish monster who'd abandon his five-year-old sister get to be the hero, destined for a lifetime of wealth and happiness? While Leo, who took me in when he couldn't even feed himself, was destined to die an early death? Thankfully, fate had given me a second chance. If the story wanted me to be a greedy, evil brat, then fine. This time, I would be the most conniving, ruthless brat imaginable. And I would fight to carve out a long, happy future for me and for Leo. 3 "Hey, kid. It's getting dark. You'd better get home before the big bad wolf gets you!" Finally. It was Leo. Seeing his familiar, fifteen-year-old face, alive and well, I burst into tears. Leo froze, completely bewildered. When he finally snapped out of it, he dropped to his knees in front of me, frantically trying to calm me down, promising there was no wolf, that he’d fight it off if there was. The tears just kept coming. Passersby started to stare. Leo looked like he was about to cry, too. "Please don't cry, please don't cry, I'll buy you a treat." As he said it, his own stomach let out a loud growl. I choked on a sob and started to laugh. In my last life, I’d watched him turn his pockets inside out and find nothing but that one cigarette. What was he going to buy me a treat with? I pushed my pile of snacks towards him. "You don't have to buy me anything. I have food. Here, you can have it." Leo, being fed by a five-year-old, blushed. "I don't want your stuff, kid. I'm not a thief—" "Eat it," I insisted. "If you don't, I'm going to start crying again. Waaah—" "Okay! I'll eat!" he yelped, grabbing a slice of pizza from the pile and stuffing it in his mouth. "See?" he mumbled around a mouthful. "I'm eating. Just please stop crying." I beamed at him. "Okay, bro." I looked up at him with my biggest, most pathetic eyes. "Bro, my whole family is dead. Nobody wants me. Can you be my family?" Before he could answer, I added, "If you say no, I'll cry. Louder than before. WAAAAH—" "Stop! Don't cry!" "So you'll do it? You'll be my brother? Great! Let's go home." I grabbed his hand, my small fingers wrapping around his. Leo just stood there, speechless. He didn't say yes, but he didn't pull his hand away. Feeling the warmth of his skin, the proof that he was real and alive, I almost started crying again, this time with happiness. It was just as easy as the first time. I had successfully tricked Leo into being my brother again. 4 That night, Leo built me a bed in his corner of the warehouse. He worked from sunrise to sunset, but just like in my first life, he never seemed to make any money. The story had him trapped. The harder he worked, the poorer he got. But this time, thanks to the snacks I'd conned out of my bio-brother, we ate well for the next few days. Five days later, I knew it was time. I grabbed Leo's arm as he was about to head out for the day and convinced him to take me to the south side of town to "forage for edible plants." On our way out, I made him grab a rusty shovel and a big empty sack. When we got to the south side, I led him straight towards a large, grim-looking building. An orphanage. Leo froze. "So," he said, his voice low and rough, "you weren't looking for plants. You want to go in there." I looked up and saw his eyes were red. "It's for the best," he said, trying to sound tough. "Better than starving with me. Go on. I'll be fine without you." He was squeezing my hand so tight it hurt. "I told you, we're foraging," I said, rolling my eyes. "I already have a brother. I'm not an orphan. I'm not going in there." That seemed to snap him out of it. I led him around to the woods behind the orphanage and pointed to a spot. "Dig here." He looked at me, confused, but he trusted me. He started digging. I wasn't here for plants. I was here for treasure. 5 When I’d stalled my brother Kevin with my list of demands, my real goal was to see more of the pop-up comments. A few of the users were obsessive spoiler-fiends, and I managed to memorize all the key plot points of the book. That's how I knew that the Miller family's fortune began right here, with a bag of gold buried in the woods behind this orphanage. I had timed our arrival perfectly, just two hours before Kevin was supposed to show up. I was a little worried that the gold wouldn't be here yet, or that only the "male lead" could find it. But then, Leo's shovel hit something. "Audie, look!" It was a rotting canvas duffel bag. When he touched it, it disintegrated, revealing what was inside: gold jewelry and several heavy gold bars. Tarnished and dirty, but unmistakably gold. 6 A few minutes later, I saw the pop-up comments reappear near the orphanage. Kevin had arrived. Leo was still staring at the gold in a daze. I grabbed his hand. "We have to go. Now. Don't say anything, just grab the gold and follow me." He snapped out of it and did as I said. I led him to a hidden spot where we could see the woods without being seen. It was time for the show. [He adopted the Female Lead! The way he looks at her is so sweet! I'm melting!] [Next up: the gold! I can't wait for him to get rich and spoil her rotten! Let the shameless fluff begin!] It was just as my "mother" had described it in my last life. Kevin had brought our parents to the orphanage to adopt the fake heiress, Crystal. She was my age and looked enough like me to be a plausible replacement. Once they had her, my parents stopped looking for me. Crystal became their real daughter. I was just an outsider who didn't belong. This time, I wasn't going to be their tragic villainess. I was going to take everything from them. Kevin left Crystal with our parents and snuck into the woods. He pulled out a small knife and started digging. [He's so thoughtful, digging a hole before he goes to the bathroom. No wonder he finds the gold!] [This is it! This is it! A little deeper and he'll find it! I'm so excited!] Kevin's knife hit something hard. His face flushed with excitement. He dug faster, and a moment later, he pulled it out. It wasn't gold. It was a brick. I’d had Leo bury it there while he was digging for the real treasure. Kevin stared at it, confused, but he didn't give up. He started digging frantically all around the area. All he found were more bricks.
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