During freshman orientation, my boyfriend, Leo, gave the hot chocolate I’d bought for myself to his “girl best friend,” Fiona. This time, I didn’t get mad. I didn’t get jealous. I didn’t throw a fit. I just looked at him calmly and said, “Leo, this isn’t working. Let’s break up.” I was completely serious. He just laughed, that cocky, careless laugh of his. “You mean it this time, Chloe?” I nodded. He pulled out his phone and, right in front of me, blocked my number. “Alright, Chloe. Let’s make this breakup last a little longer than usual. Give me some peace and quiet. Let me see what other girls are out there in college.” Then he slung his arm around Fiona’s shoulders, turned, and walked away. One of his friends asked him, “Leo, man, Chloe’s gorgeous. Are you sure you want to break up with her?” He scoffed. “Nah. But we’re in college now. I gotta teach her a lesson, knock that attitude out of her. Let her sweat a little.” “You don’t believe me? I bet you, in less than three days, she’ll be crying and begging me to take her back.” That night, I called my mom. “Mom, I’ve decided to study abroad. Can you start the application process for me?” 1 It was the last day of orientation, and my period was due any minute. It was always a nightmare—cramps, bloating, the works. At home, I’d make a big pot of hot chocolate, which always helped. But here, in the middle of a college campus, that wasn’t an option. So I ordered one from a local cafe. The moment the delivery notification came through, my stomach cramped, hard. I had to go, now. I asked my boyfriend, Leo, to grab the delivery for me from the front gate, then ran for the nearest restroom. When I came back, my hot chocolate was in the hands of Fiona, Leo’s “girl best friend.” She had already drunk half of it. I frowned. “Leo, why did you give my drink to someone else?” My stomach was twisting in knots, and I’m sure I looked as terrible as I felt. “Oh, this was yours?” Fiona said, hopping over to me like an annoying grasshopper and holding out the cup. “Sorry, Fluffy… I thought Leo bought it for me. I mean, out of all his friends, I’m the only one who drinks this stuff. My bad.” “Fluffy, you’re not mad, are you? Please don’t cry again, I can’t handle it…” I took a deep breath, trying to push down my irritation. “My name is Chloe, Fiona. Can you please stop with the ridiculous nicknames?” The way she drew out the “Flu” in “Fluffy” was dripping with a strange, mocking tone. “Chloe, Fluffy, what’s the difference?” she said with a shrug and a smirk, bouncing her leg. “You’re not even fluffy. Why do they call you that?” Leo’s friends all burst out laughing. “So, Leo’s little girlfriend is a cat?” “No wonder she’s so high-maintenance!” “Making our boy Leo get her deliveries for her!” The hot chocolate was forgotten. I was now the butt of their jokes, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for Fiona to just take my stuff. I looked at Leo. “What is this?” He was getting impatient. “It’s just a cup of hot chocolate, Chloe. Why are you making such a big deal out of it?” “You know…” I started, but I didn’t know how to finish. I couldn’t exactly announce to a group of guys that I was on my period. The cramps were getting worse, and I felt my face pale. “Know what?” Leo snapped. Fiona pointed at me and laughed. “Fluffy, you must have really bad cramps. You know what they say, if your cramps are that bad, you probably can’t have kids. Leo, you’re going to be heirless!” She paused, then added, “Okay, okay, don’t cry. Here, you can have it back.” She held the cup out to me, but I just grabbed Leo’s arm. “Apologize.” “What?” He looked at me like I was insane. “Chloe, you want me to apologize to you?” “Yes,” I said. “You gave my drink to someone else. You should apologize.” I was dead serious. Leo stared at me as if I’d grown a second head. “What, you want me to write a ten-thousand-word apology and post it on the campus bulletin board? Who do you think you are? And who gave you the right to order me around like your personal delivery boy in the first place?” I took another deep breath. “If you don’t apologize, we’re breaking up.” Before Leo could even respond, Fiona jumped in. “No, no, no, Fluffy, don’t do that! Leo and I are just friends! Don’t break up with him because of me!” That was it. I had reached my limit. “Fiona,” I yelled, “I’ve told you a million times, stop calling me Fluffy! Don’t you understand English? And what does our relationship have to do with you?” Leo snatched the half-empty cup from Fiona’s hand and threw it at my face. We were so close, I had no time to react. The hot chocolate splattered all over me, and the straw, by some cruel twist of fate, poked me right in the eye. In an instant, tears and hot chocolate were streaming down my face. 2 Through the blur, I heard Leo’s voice. “Always crying. Did your dad die or something? You wanted to break up? Fine. Just don’t come crawling back to me in three days. I want to see what other girls are out there in college. I mean, I can’t exactly marry someone whose major is swine reproduction, can I?” With that, he grabbed Fiona and walked away. I just stood there, stunned. He was right. My major was swine reproduction and herd management. But I had applied for English literature. I had gotten my acceptance letter for the English program. I had no idea how I had been switched to this… When Fiona found out, she had laughed hysterically. “Flu-uffy,” she’d drawn out, “hahaha, your name and your major are a perfect match! You’re both animals!” I had gotten into a huge fight with her over that. The next day, Leo had texted me: *“Chloe, Fiona and I are going to Yellowstone. Come if you want, don’t if you don’t.”* I was at the airport, at the gate, waiting. Leo and I had been planning a trip to Yellowstone since we were freshmen in high school. We’d heard it was beautiful, like a paradise on earth. I had been looking forward to it for so long. After we graduated, I had tried to make plans with him, but he had to go with Fiona to her hometown first. He was gone for days. When I confronted him, he’d said, “Chloe, can’t you have a little compassion? You know Fiona’s situation.” “She’s just going back to get her birth certificate and stuff for college. I’m just helping her out.” I did know Fiona’s situation. Her parents had died in a car crash when she was thirteen. She lived with her grandmother and her uncle. Her uncle and his wife were good to her. She had everything their own kids had, and more. Her uncle, probably trying to overcompensate, gave her a huge allowance. But she had gone off the rails. Smoking, drinking, hanging out at internet cafes, getting into fights. She had even spread a rumor that her uncle was stealing her inheritance. Once, she had even hit her aunt, putting her in the hospital. After that, no one dared to discipline her. She and her grandmother moved back into her parents’ old house. She had access to all the money her parents had left her. I honestly didn’t see what was so pitiable about her situation. Then, after graduation, it was time to choose a college. Leo and I had known each other since kindergarten. We were next-door neighbors. He had asked me out in middle school, but I’d told him to wait until college. He had asked me out again in high school, and at my birthday party, in front of all our family and friends, he had promised to “protect Chloe for the rest of his life.” I was touched. We encouraged each other, studied together, and planned to go to the same college. After we graduated high school, we officially started dating. Our test scores were similar, so we applied to the same university. But when my acceptance letter came, my major, which was supposed to be English, had been changed to swine reproduction. I had checked the “willing to be reassigned” box on my application, but still… It’s not that there’s anything wrong with animal husbandry, it’s a vital industry. But I’d only ever eaten bacon, I’d never even seen a pig in real life. My mom was worried. “Chloe, this has to be a sign. Let’s just send you to study abroad.” I knew she was right. But I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Leo, of being on the other side of the world from him. And I knew that if I went to the kind of prestigious school my mom had in mind, Leo and I would be finished. So I had smiled at my mom and said, “Swine reproduction isn’t so bad. I can get all my certifications in college, and when I graduate, I can go to Wyoming, buy some land, and raise cows and sheep and pigs… maybe even some exotic animals.” I had even added, “Farming is a noble profession, you know.” My mom had just laughed. 3 And so the matter was settled. At the same time, Leo had asked me to go to Yellowstone. It was the trip we had been planning since we were freshmen. We booked our tickets and packed our bags. But when I got to the airport, he told me he had changed his flight and had gone a day early with Fiona. I just stood there, stunned, as the final boarding call echoed through the terminal. I sat on a bench, not moving. I’m not a dramatic person, but I had to fight to keep the tears from falling. I never went to Yellowstone. Leo kept texting me. *“Chloe, are you here yet?”* *“Chloe, where are you?”* *“I’ll come get you.”* *“Just text me back.”* I just stared at my phone. Finally, he called, his voice full of frustration. My hand slipped, and I answered. When he found out I wasn’t coming, he started yelling at me, calling me high-maintenance, petty, and difficult. “Chloe, do you have to ruin everything? So I changed my flight and came a day early. Is that such a big deal? You’re not coming? You’re going to make my whole life a regret?” “Fine. Be that way.” Later, Leo and Fiona’s social media was flooded with pictures from their trip. Yellowstone was as beautiful as I had imagined. I just watched in silence. A few of my friends asked if Leo and I had broken up. I didn't answer. Right before school started, my mom asked me again. “Chloe, are you sure you want to go learn about pigs? And then move to Wyoming and be a farmer?” “Pigs are kind of cute,” I’d said. After a week of orientation, before classes had even started, I regretted it. I wiped the sticky mixture of hot chocolate and tears from my face. I had a classmate tell the orientation leader I was sick, then I went back to my dorm, took a shower, and changed my clothes. I called my mom. “Mom, I’ve thought about it. Animal husbandry is not for me. I want to study abroad. Is it too late?” My mom’s voice was full of concern. “Chloe, are you okay?” “I’m fine,” I said, my voice calm. “I just realized that while the drama of high school is great, it eventually has to end.” My mom knew about me and Leo, so she was worried. “It’s never too late to study abroad, honey. If you’re sure, I’ll start the process now. You’ll be leaving after October. You should take some time to hang out with your friends, say your goodbyes.” I smiled and agreed. After I hung up, the cramps were so bad I had to take two painkillers. Just then, my phone buzzed. A message from Fiona. I opened it. It was a voice recording. One of Leo’s friends was asking, “Leo, man, Chloe’s gorgeous. Are you sure you want to break up with her?” Then Leo’s cocky voice. “Nah. But we’re in college now. I gotta teach her a lesson, knock that attitude out of her. Let her sweat a little.” Someone else laughed. “Dude, go easy on her. You don’t want to actually lose her.” Leo scoffed. “No way. She’s obsessed with me. I can do whatever I want, she’s not going anywhere. You don’t believe me? I bet you, in less than three days, she’ll be crying and begging me to take her back.” Then Fiona’s voice. “Leo, if you’re going to do it, do it right. Make her get on her knees and beg before you take her back.” Leo laughed. “Deal!” The recording ended. Then a text from Fiona: *“Flu-uffy, you’d better not give in so easily. Don’t come crawling back and begging for forgiveness in three days.”* I blocked her number. 4 The next day, my mom confirmed that the study abroad application was in progress. I just had to handle the withdrawal process at my current university. “Okay,” I said with a smile. “Chloe, I have someone taking care of all the paperwork. You don’t have to do a thing,” my mom said. “But you can’t change your mind.” “I won’t, Mom. I promise.” “Good,” she said. The week passed peacefully. Without Leo and his psycho sidekick, college was actually pretty fun. Most people were normal. On Friday, I got a simple dinner from the dining hall and was about to go back to my dorm to binge-watch some shows. I had worked so hard in high school, I hadn’t had any time for TV or books. Now that I was free, I was determined to catch up. My good mood was ruined when Fiona showed up. The dining hall was half-empty, but of course, she had to sit right across from me. “Fluffy,” she said in that exaggerated, mocking tone of hers, “you’ve been holding out for a whole week? How many times have you cried to Leo behind my back? What, is he ignoring you? Did you know I was meeting him here for dinner, so you came to intercept him? Tsk, tsk. Just apologize to him already. I really thought you were going to hold out this time. But here you are, pretending it’s a coincidence. Oh, right, Leo said he wants you to get on your knees and beg. Why not do it now? There’s hardly anyone here.” I just looked at the contorted expression on her face and felt a wave of nausea. “Fiona,” I said calmly, “I’ve told you many times, don’t call me Fluffy. It makes me angry.” “I know you’re angry,” she said with a dramatic flair. “I love seeing you angry and helpless.” I was still calm. I picked up the free soup that came with my meal and threw it in her face. Before she could react, I grabbed my stainless steel tray and slammed it into her head. It all happened so fast. *Wham, wham, wham.* She shrieked and fell backward, her chair tipping over. The sound of her short skirt ripping was audible. A flash of white thigh, a thong, and a few stray pubic hairs were visible. I grabbed a chicken leg from my tray and, while she was screaming, shoved it in her mouth. I straddled her, made a fist, and started punching her in the head. It took a moment for everyone in the dining hall to react. Fights usually start with an argument. I had gone from zero to a hundred in a split second. A crowd of students and staff rushed over and pulled me off of her. “Fluffy, I’m going to kill you!” Fiona screamed, trying to cover herself as she lunged at me. I grabbed a plastic chair. “Fiona, you can hit on my boyfriend all you want. I don’t care. I can always find a new one. But who the hell do you think you are, giving me nicknames?” As I spoke, I threw the chair at her. Just then, Leo came running in. He grabbed me by the hair, and with his other hand, slapped me hard across the face. I tasted blood. “Fluffy,” he snarled, “apologize to Fiona.”
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