The first day of preschool. My darling boy was clinging to a police officer, bawling his eyes out. "Help me! I don't wanna go to school!" Sigh. I stepped forward to pry my son off the poor man, and then… I froze. Because this wasn't just any cop. It was my damn ex. 1 I’ll admit, a man in uniform has a certain appeal. My son, Theo, was attached to him like a little koala, his arms and legs wrapped tight. His little nose and eyes were red and puffy from crying, his breath catching in hiccuping sobs as he buried his head in the officer’s neck, completely secure. The officer, however, looked anything but secure when he saw me. His face changed instantly. My own heart lurched. Four years since the breakup, and of all the places to run into him, it had to be here. All I could think was, what rotten luck. I’d sworn four years ago that if I ever saw him again, I’d be struck by lightning. Looks like my karmic retribution was just around the corner. But before divine justice could smite me, I had to get my son back. "Theo, honey, come here. You're getting the nice officer's uniform all dirty," I tried, hoping a little white lie would do the trick. The little traitor didn't even spare me a glance, having already defected to the enemy. Chace’s eyes, sharp and intense, were fixed on me. His brow was furrowed, his lips pressed into a thin line. He was staring at me like he was aiming a sniper rifle right at my soul, and it was making my skin crawl. I just prayed my son would get the telepathic message and come to me. "No," Theo mumbled, tightening his little arms. He looked at me with tear-filled, mournful eyes. "I…" Forgive my inner brute, but at this rate, I’d never get this kid into school. This… this little rebel! He was forcing my hand. "Listen up, kiddo. Police officers are here to catch naughty little boys. You want a shiny pair of silver bracelets? A nice, hard bed at the station? Little Joey from next door has been eyeing your Super Wings collection for a long time. The second you're hauled away, I'm giving it all to him." It wasn't just Theo; Chace's expression darkened even further. His handsome face was like a storm cloud rolling in. He always looked like that when he was angry. I used to be able to gauge the exact level of his fury by the shade of his scowl. Right now, we were at DEFCON 1, probably because I was slandering his entire profession. I know, I know, you're not supposed to use police officers to scare children. But I was desperate. "Officer, do you really arrest little kids?" Theo asked, cupping Chace's face with his chubby hands, his eyes brimming with pitiful tears. "No," Chace answered firmly. Excuse me?? Alright, fine. So much for my authority. I glanced at my watch. If I didn't get Theo into that school soon, I was going to be late for work, and there went my perfect attendance bonus for the month. "But," Chace added, his tone softening, "officers don't like boys who don't behave. Are you a good boy?" My little fool nodded obediently, his voice milky. "I am. Theo is the bestest boy." "Good. Then I'll take you inside," Chace said, his voice shifting. With a single fluid motion, he strode past me, carrying Theo into the preschool. I scurried behind them, marveling at how easily he’d handled it. A kid was just a kid. How could he possibly outsmart Chace? The memory of how thoroughly Chace used to run circles around me still brought a sting to my eyes. 2 After dropping off Theo, I’d have to hit every green light to make it to work on time. But it was rush hour. Getting a ride wasn't going to be easy. "Where are you going?" Chace asked, his voice cold. "To work," I said evasively. It was awkward enough running into an ex, let alone one with our history. "I'll give you a ride," he stated, his face a blank mask. "Using a public vehicle for personal business on company time…" I clicked my tongue, my face a picture of disapproval. Even on the verge of being late, a taxpayer had to defend her rights. Chace pressed a button on his key fob, and a black SUV parked nearby beeped. I jumped. He got in, a faint smirk playing on his lips. "You seem to know a lot. I just finished the night shift. I'm on my way home to sleep, and this is my personal car." "Oh." Mortified, I quickly looked down at my phone. The rideshare app was useless; not a single car was available. "Scared to get in? Zara, you used to be so brave. You think I'm going to eat you?" Chace rested his arm on the open window, his expression openly challenging. I have many virtues, but resisting a dare is not one of them. "Scared of you? Please…" I opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. "102 Lakeside Drive. Thanks." Chace hit the gas, and the SUV pulled out into traffic. It was like the traffic gods were smiling down on me. We didn't hit a single red light. I clenched my fists in excitement. My perfect attendance bonus was safe. "Why are you shaking?" Chace glanced at me from the corner of his eye. His profile was chiseled, like something out of a sculpture gallery, flawless from every angle. "I'm not shaking," I said stubbornly, quickly placing my hands primly on my knees. "Is Theo your son?" Chace asked. "Would he be calling me 'Mom' if he wasn't?" I shot back. I was surprised. He was the one who left me. Why did he care now if Theo was my son? It was none of his business. "You're married?" His voice was low, betraying no emotion, but it sent an uncomfortable chill down my spine. I suddenly pictured him in an interrogation room, questioning a suspect. He was questioning me the same way. "Yes." That should have been the end of it. But I forgot that Chace wasn't a normal person. The conversation only ended when he decided it was over. A guy with his personality would never find a girlfriend in today's world. I must have been blinded by his looks back then, falling for his tricks before I knew what was happening. Later, when his interest faded, I had enough self-respect to leave quietly. "Where is he? Why didn't he come with you to drop Theo off today?" Chace was relentless. Once he wanted to know something, he wouldn't let it go. "That's my private business," I protested. "When was Theo born? What month, what year?" I… 3 If we weren't in his car, I would have cursed him and his entire family tree. But I knew him. The more I tried to hide things about Theo, the more suspicious he'd become. Fine. I'd fall back on a classic cliché. That would shut him up and stop him from demanding to meet my "husband." "Since you're so concerned about your ex-girlfriend, and it's not like it's some dark secret… after we broke up, my family set me up on a blind date. My husband was very wealthy, a big deal in business. We were always apart because of his work, and then… he died in a car accident before Theo was even a year old… I've been raising Theo by myself all these years, doing everything for him, being both a mother and a father…" I covered my face, my head bowed in sorrow. You have to commit to the performance. It worked. Chace stopped asking questions. But the veins on the back of his hands stood out against the steering wheel. The atmosphere in the car instantly tensed, the temperature dropping by at least ten degrees. Since he didn't respond, I couldn't muster any real tears. I kept my face hidden and turned to look out the window. Through the gaps in my fingers, I watched the city blur past, desperately wishing, Are we there yet? I knew it. I would have rather lost the bonus than get in this car. "I'm sorry." What? I thought I'd misheard. "What did you just say?" I asked. "I don't repeat myself." I shot him a dirty look. What was he apologizing for now? Just then, his phone rang. It sounded like a call for backup. He exchanged a few brief words and hung up. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned to face me. "Your office is just around the corner. You can run from here. I have to go, I'm needed on a call." "Okay," I said, getting out. I watched him speed away without a second glance back. The same person, the same situation. It was like we were back four years ago. During his second year as a cop, he was always on call. No matter where we were or what we were doing, one phone call and he was gone. I understood all of it. I never threw a fit or gave him a hard time. But he never knew how hard the lonely nights were, how much I worried every time I watched him leave. Well, that was all over now. I had Theo to keep me company. As for Chace, some other woman could worry about him now. I clocked into work with one minute to spare. With that kind of luck, it was bound to be a great day. Or so I thought. Just as I was about to clock out, my boss dropped an urgent task on my desk. Damn it. I had to rush. I had promised Theo I'd be the first one to pick him up today. After finishing my work, I sprinted out of the office faster than anyone. By the time I reached the preschool, I felt like I was half-dead. And I was still too late. Parents were already leaving with their children. Theo was probably standing by the gate all by himself again, waiting for me. I was still trying to figure out how to explain being late when I looked up and saw Chace. He was here again. And he was holding my son. 4 He'd changed out of his uniform and was wearing casual clothes. His arms, exposed below the short sleeves, were a sun-kissed bronze, all corded muscle. The simple t-shirt clung to his broad chest, looking even better than the uniform. He was holding Theo with one arm. At six-foot-one, with broad shoulders and long legs, he cut an impressive figure. Every young mother and pretty teacher that walked by did a double-take. Figures. The man was still a walking hazard. "Mommy!" Theo reached his little arms out for me. That sweet little voice melted my heart. "Mommy's here," I said, taking him from Chace and hugging him tight, planting a big kiss on his forehead. I hadn't seen him all day, and my eyes started to sting. "Theo saw me when I got here and started crying for me, so I brought him out," Chace explained. "Right. Thanks." After I answered, it hit me. Are cops really this free? Why was he hanging around a preschool? "Wait, what are you doing here?" I asked, looking at him suspiciously. He wasn't planning something, was he? Chace's lips curved into a smile. He reached behind him and pulled out a little girl, hoisting her into his arms. "Picking up my kid." I had been so focused on Theo that I hadn't even noticed the little girl hiding behind his leg. I felt like a complete idiot. So much for thinking I was special. Four years was plenty of time for him to get married and have a child. We were broken up. He hadn't done anything wrong. But a tidal wave of emotion washed over me—disappointment, hurt, a suffocating tightness in my chest. "We're going now. Goodbye," I said, my eyes downcast. I hugged Theo tighter and walked away quickly. Chace called my name from behind, but I ignored him. "Mommy, the officer is calling you," Theo reminded me. "Don't listen to him." The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I had spent the last four years thinking about him, and now it was clear he'd probably forgotten all about me. If not for this chance encounter, we might have never seen each other again. "Good boys don't lie. You heard him. And the officer said I'd get a present if I was good," Theo argued, his loyalty clearly misplaced. His world now revolved around the police officer. "You want a pair of silver bracelets?" Theo burst into tears. I was completely caught off guard and had to spend the next few minutes hugging and soothing him. That night, Theo had a nightmare, mumbling about not wanting silver bracelets in his sleep. I was filled with regret. I had to stop scaring him like that. It was bad for both of us. The apartment was quiet, but I couldn't sleep. I replayed the day's events in my mind, thinking of Chace, of the little girl by his side, and my heart ached with a familiar sourness. 5 We got together because I was completely powerless against his good looks. Chace was at the police academy, and I was at the art school right across the street. It was like the two universities had planned it. Every day, droves of pretty art students would gaze across the street at the handsome future police officers, and the police cadets would shout their drills extra loud to attract the attention of the delicate young women. The fact that Chace and I hit it off stunned a lot of people, including me. I wasn't anything special. I had a reasonably pretty face and a talent for drawing. For four years of college, Chace was my exclusive model. He seemed to enjoy it. He was a quiet person; when he wasn't exercising, he was staring into space. He always corrected me, insisting he was "thinking," not "spacing out." I would just laugh and tell him his defensiveness was a dead giveaway. After graduation, he was assigned to a local precinct, and I found a job as a design assistant. As rookies in the professional world, we barely had any free time. Chace rented an apartment near my office and asked me to move in with him. It was only later that I realized he did it so I could sleep in a little longer in the mornings. I was terrible at waking up, often pulling all-nighters to finish projects. Those extra minutes of sleep were precious. Everything seemed to be moving in the right direction. We would be like most couples: save up some money, get married, have kids, and live a quiet life. But in his second year on the force, things changed. He was always working overtime, always taking calls. The rare date we had would inevitably be cut short by some emergency. I was committed to him, so none of that mattered. He was a cop; I understood the nature of his job. But some things you can't fight. Love, like the tide, comes in and goes out. It was a harsh reality, but one I had to accept. Chace spoke to me less and less. We saw each other less and less. His coldness and avoidance felt like he was trying to push me into being the one to say it was over. I didn't want to, but I wasn't going to beg. After all those years together, I deserved better. It's strange, but the day we broke up was the only time we were ever truly intimate. And I initiated it. I don't know if that's something to be proud of or sad about. I'd had a few drinks. I kicked open his bedroom door and pounced on him. He tried to resist, so I just grabbed his collar, buried my face in his chest, and cried. In the end, I got what I wanted. But the feeling between us was gone. If there was no feeling left, why cling to a one-sided love? I left quietly while he was away on a business trip. What happened next was like a cosmic joke. That one time… I got pregnant. Without a second thought, I had Theo and raised him by myself. As for Chace, it never even crossed my mind to tell him. In my sleep, I heard Theo whimpering about not wanting to go to preschool tomorrow. I turned and wrapped my arms around his small, soft body. When I touched my own face, I realized it was wet with tears. "I don't want to go to preschool either. I'll have to see him," I whispered. I hoped Chace wouldn't be the one dropping off his kid tomorrow. I sighed, found a comfortable position, and closed my eyes. 6 Well, damn. The next morning, I woke up sick. My usually indestructible body had finally given up. I was a mess, sniffling and weak. I was afraid of getting Theo sick, so I asked my friend Chloe to watch him for a few days. She was his godmother, a single woman with a hopeless weakness for adorable little boys like mine, but a deep-seated disdain for me. She was always telling me to find a good man and settle down. I always brushed her off. Good men weren't exactly easy to find. Even though I was sick, I still had to work. How else was I going to support the two of us? Finally, my boss couldn't take it anymore. I think the sight of me trying to give a presentation while simultaneously blowing my nose, wiping my eyes, and speaking in a hoarse croak was too much for him. He mercifully gave me two days off. Sleeping in on a workday was pure bliss. The sickness came on strangely, but it left just as quickly. After a few days of rest, I was mostly better. I called Chloe to arrange picking Theo up, only to find out she was at a birthday party! "Where is my son? What did you do with him?" Chloe was full of apologies. "Just tell me where he is! I'm going to get him!" Could a best friend be any more unreliable? She hemmed and hawed, but I finally cornered her until she confessed. "23 River Road, Apartment 5-3-202." I froze. I would never forget that address. It was where Chace and I had lived four years ago. A dark premonition washed over me. This was not going to be simple. "Chloe, I swear I'm going to kill you!" I was at my wit's end. "Now, Zara, don't be like that. You've been raising Theo alone for all these years, for what? Chace is his father, and he hasn't done a single thing. What's wrong with him watching his own son for a few days? Why are you so stubborn? If you ask me, you never should have hidden it from him. Maybe you two would have never broken up." Was I wrong? No. You can't force someone to walk the same path as you. He was married with a child now. I couldn't be the one to wreck his family. "It's impossible for Chace and me. He's married," I sighed. Chloe started to say something else, but I hung up, grabbed my bag and coat, and headed out to get my son. I hailed a cab, but the traffic was a nightmare. I'd hit rush hour again. The scenery was mostly the same as it had been four years ago. Chace had rented this place because it was close to my office. After we broke up, I moved out and never came back. I now lived in a small loft apartment that I'd bought outright. It was a bit out of the way, and I spent almost an hour commuting each day. But I bought it because it was far away. Far enough to avoid him. To never see him again. And now, after running in circles, I was right back where I started. I took a shaky breath, stood at the door, and rang the bell. 7 The doorbell was the same one I'd programmed. When you pressed it outside, a recording of my voice would play inside: "Chace and Zara, you have a visitor!" What was once sweet was now excruciatingly awkward. Why hadn't he changed it?! The door opened. Chace was in loose-fitting loungewear, with Theo perched on his shoulders. Their faces were smeared with face paint, and they were holding toy guns. They had clearly been playing soldiers. Theo's eyes were shining with an excitement he couldn't hide. I could see he liked Chace. Did he even want him to be his father? I quickly squashed the ridiculous thought. Chace was married. Theo and I couldn't become a joke. "Mommy! The officer and I are playing guns! We're special forces! Come in, Mommy!" Theo tugged on my arm, but I remained rooted to the spot outside the door. The excitement on Chace's face faded. "Come in," he said. "It's not Chloe's fault. I was the one who asked to have Theo over." I scoffed. "Don't you have to work?" "I took some vacation time. I haven't had a vacation in four years," he said, his eyes fixed on me. The words were loaded. He deliberately emphasized four years. We had been apart for exactly four years. "Well, thanks for the trouble. I'm here to take Theo home." My gaze shifted past him to my son. "Theo, go get your backpack. We're going home," I said, bending down to urge him. Theo looked reluctant, glancing back and forth between me and Chace. He clearly wasn't done playing. I grabbed his little arm, my face hardening. "Theo, be a good boy and come home with Mommy. It's not nice to bother people." "But Mommy, you said if we're in trouble, we should find a police officer. He's not people," he said, then looked up at Chace and smiled. My patience was wearing thin. I scooped him up in my arms. "Let's go!" Theo immediately started to cry, reaching for Chace. "I don't wanna go! I wanna play with the officer…" he wailed, just like he had at the preschool gate. The sound echoed through the hallway, making my ears ring. Chace grabbed my arm, his face grim. "Don't make him cry. Give him to me, I'll calm him down." A fire ignited in my chest. "I'm his mother. I don't need you to teach me how to raise my child!" My shout only made Theo cry harder. "Let go!" Chace's expression grew even darker. His grip on my arm tightened. With a struggling son in my arms and his demanding father by my side, the situation was spiraling out of control. I could feel sweat trickling down my back. A few neighbors walked by with their groceries. "Oh, dear," one of them said. "A little lovers' quarrel, upsetting the child. Just take her inside and make up, dear." 8 Before I could explain that he wasn't my husband and we were not a "little couple," the world tilted. Chace had swept both me and my son up into his arms and carried us inside. His strength was impressive, but I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles. Everything in the apartment was exactly as it had been four years ago. From the big things, like the sofa and table we'd bought online together, to the small things, like the ceramic rabbits from the night market and the stuffed animal he'd won for me playing darts—everything was in its original place. It was like time had rewound. Chace stood before me, hands on his hips, and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. It was still cut short, stiff and a little severe. "We need to talk about this from the beginning," he said, watching my expression carefully. "That day at the preschool, Theo saw me and ran right into my arms. Chloe was there too, but he wouldn't go with her, so I brought him home for a few days… I'm on vacation, anyway." He was explaining, but I found the whole thing ridiculous. I smirked. "What are you smiling at?" he asked, frowning. "Nothing." I didn't want to say it. How could he come up with such a lame excuse? Instead of spending his vacation with his wife and child, he was babysitting mine for free? Wasn't his wife jealous? "Are you hiding something from me?" Chace blocked my path, his gaze darting between me and Theo. I froze. My worst fear was coming true. I was going to kill Chloe when I got my hands on her. "I think that's my line," I retorted, referring to the little girl, Amy. If he was married, he should act like it, and stop playing these games. Chace's eyes dropped, like a student caught cheating. "I want to talk to you. Just the two of us. A real conversation," he said, his voice almost pleading. "There's no need. You two live your lives, and don't bother me and my son. We'll be fine," I said, getting up to leave. Chace frowned, a look of confusion on his face. I snorted internally. Men. Always wanting what they can't have. Chloe had once told me that once a woman sleeps with a man, he subconsciously considers her his. Chace was clearly suffering from a case of that delusion. Get a grip! I was my own person. He was his. And more importantly, he was married. I had no interest in being a homewrecker. I picked up Theo and left without a second thought. The sound of the door closing behind me felt like it was finally severing the last ties of those four years. Chace watched us go, looking dejected. His lips moved, but I couldn't hear what he said. Back home, I asked Theo about his time there. He excitedly told me about all the games he played and the food he ate at the officer's house, and that his godmother had visited him. The mention of Chloe reignited my anger. I called her. She was on a business trip in some far-off country. I yelled at her for a solid twenty minutes before she even mentioned she was abroad. I was so mad I started crying, which only made me madder when I realized I was ruining my expensive makeup. How many freelance gigs would it take to replace that? "Mommy, why are you crying?" Theo came over with his favorite Super Wings toy and wiped my tears with his chubby little hand. I sniffled and pulled him into a hug. If it weren't for this little guy, would I be working myself to the bone like this? Sometimes I thought about finding a man and settling down. But who could guarantee that marriage would make life easier? It would just be a different set of problems. Besides, my first love had set the bar too high. After Chace, no one else seemed to measure up. It was my own mess to clean up. I just had to suck it up and deal with it.
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