For my college graduation trip, my boyfriend, Ethan, my best friend, Maya, and I went to Lake Tahoe. While walking along the shore of Emerald Bay, an older tourist couple approached us with warm smiles, asking in broken English if we could help them take a picture. After taking theirs, the older woman offered to return the favor. She gently pulled Ethan and Maya toward the wooden railing, gesturing for them to lean their heads close together. Then, she waved at me, holding out her camera. "You take the picture for them! The lighting is absolutely perfect right now." I stood there, holding my own phone up. Looking through the viewfinder at the two of them smiling, looking like the perfect couple, I tapped the shutter button. Ethan didn't say a word. Maya took the phone from me, glanced at the screen, and smiled brightly. "Oh, this is a great shot! Let's take one more." Later, when we checked into the resort, the front desk clerk glanced at the reservation details and handed the keycards for the double-occupancy room directly to Ethan and Maya. Then, he slid the keycard for the single room across the counter to me. "And the room for this young lady is at the end of the hall on the third floor." I said quietly, "I'm his girlfriend." The clerk froze for two seconds, then quickly lowered his head to frantically double-check the booking registry. That night, back in my room, I soaked in the bathtub alone, listening to the muffled sounds of laughter drifting through the wall from the room next door. It had been a three-day trip. I had been mistaken for the third wheel seven times. I had been mistaken for their personal photographer eleven times. And I was mistaken for not being his girlfriend four times. How many times did Ethan correct them? Zero. I wrapped myself in a bathrobe, sat on the edge of the bed, opened my airline app, and changed my return flight to tomorrow. The graduation trip didn't have to end at the summit. Chapter 1 "Chloe, can you take one of me and Ethan? That backlit angle you found earlier was amazing." When Maya shoved her phone into my hands, her freshly done French tips caught the morning light. I took the phone. I didn't say a word. This was the third time today. For the forty-minute drive from the resort to the state park, she and Ethan sat together in the back seat of the Uber. I sat alone in the front passenger seat. The driver asked me casually, "Your friends seem really close." I just smiled and didn't bother translating the awkward sentiment for them. "Move a little to the left... Yeah, perfect! Ethan, don't move, the light hitting your face looks so good." Maya rested her hand naturally on Ethan's shoulder, tilting her head and smiling brightly at the camera. Ethan glanced at me. His lips parted slightly, but ultimately, he said nothing. I tapped the shutter. And handed the phone back. Maya swiped through the photos, suddenly frowning. "Chloe, you made my chin look round." "Let's do one more. This time, crouch down lower so my face looks slimmer." I crouched down. My knee bumped against a jagged rock on the paved path. It stung a little. Through the viewfinder, Ethan finally spoke up. "Maya, I think that's enough." Maya playfully swatted his arm. "Oh, come on, just one last picture." She turned back to me, her tone breezy and light. "Chloe, don't mind me, okay? I'm just so used to having you take my pictures. You're just so good at it." I said, "It's fine." I had said those two words at least fifty times over the past three days. It's fine, you guys go ahead, I'll grab the bags. It's fine, you guys pick the restaurant, I'm not picky. It's fine, one room is enough, I'll sleep on the couch. It's fine. At noon, we ate at a busy diner. When the waitress brought the food, she naturally placed the massive "Lovers' Shared Platter" right between Ethan and Maya. The single order of fries was pushed in front of me. Maya didn't even notice. She leaned over to share a milkshake with Ethan, passing the glass back and forth. I picked up a fry and chewed it slowly. It tasted like nothing. In the afternoon, we went to a local arcade. When Maya won a jackpot on the claw machine, she jumped up and down excitedly, throwing her arms around Ethan's arm. "Ethan, look! I won the grand prize! The tag says 'True love is closer than you think!'" She read it out loud, then seemed to realize what she was doing. She let go of his arm, turned to me, and stuck her tongue out playfully. "Haha, don't overthink it, Chloe. I was just super excited." Ethan slowly reached over and pulled her hand off his arm. He didn't move particularly fast. I looked down at the small keychain I had won. The tag on mine read: Sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go. I folded the tag and shoved it deep into my jacket pocket. On the walk back to the resort, Maya walked perfectly in the middle, her left arm hooked through Ethan's, her right arm draped over my shoulder. As we passed a souvenir shop, she stopped and pointed at a pair of matching braided bracelets in the window. "Ethan, let's get those! One for each of us, they're so cute." Ethan asked, "Buy them for who?" Maya said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "For you and me, duh. Chloe and I can buy a different pair for besties later." I stared at the two bracelets. One red, one blue. Ethan paused, his gaze drifting slightly in my direction. I spoke up first. "You guys go ahead and buy them. I'm going to run to the convenience store next door to grab some water." As I turned away, I heard Maya calling out cheerfully behind me, "Thanks, Chloe! You're the best!" The AC in the convenience store was blasting. I stood in front of the beverage cooler, staring at my blurry reflection in the glass door. My phone buzzed. It was a text from Ethan. "Are you okay?" Three words. This was the first time in three days he had sent a message directly to me. I stared at the blinking cursor on the screen for a long time. I typed a few letters, deleted them, and finally replied with the phrase he was most used to hearing. "I'm fine." When I walked back with two bottles of water, Maya had already tied the blue bracelet onto the zipper of Ethan's backpack. The red one hung from her own purse, dangling right next to her designer lip gloss, swaying back and forth. That night back at the resort, Maya said she wanted to go down to the hot tub. "Chloe, you wanna come?" "No thanks, I'm pretty tired." "Okay, I'll just go by myself then. Ethan, can you grab me a towel from downstairs?" Ethan muttered an agreement, grabbed a towel, and followed her down the long hallway. I stood in front of my door and swiped my keycard. Third floor, end of the hall, single room, window facing the parking lot. I sat on the edge of the bed and opened the photo gallery on my phone. I scrolled through every picture I had taken over the last three days. One hundred and twenty-seven photos. Photos of Ethan and Maya together: eighty-nine. Photos of me and Ethan together: zero. I closed the gallery and opened my airline app. A pop-up confirming my flight change appeared. I tapped "Confirm." My phone buzzed again. It was Maya in the group chat. "We're going hiking tomorrow! Chloe, will you take some trail pictures of us? The kind that look super aesthetic for Instagram!" I set my phone down and turned off the lamp. In the dark, I heard footsteps and hushed laughter coming down the hallway. They were back from the hot tub. The door to the room next door clicked open, then shut. Then, silence. A very, very long silence. Chapter 2 "Chloe, what do you think of this outfit for today?" Early the next morning, Maya pushed my door open, holding up two jackets. One was her own white windbreaker, the other was Ethan's navy blue fleece jacket. "I feel like wearing Ethan's jacket for the pictures gives off a better vibe. Like, a cute 'boyfriend jacket' aesthetic, you know?" She quickly added, "Oh, I mean, the colors just coordinate better." I sat under the covers. My hair was still a mess. I glanced at her. "You look good in anything." I genuinely meant that. Maya was 5'6", had gorgeous long hair, perfect cheekbones, and dimples when she smiled. For the last four years of college, the guys chasing her could form a line around the library. Me? I was 5'3", had a short bob, a round face, and features that people politely described as "approachable." Which usually means no one notices you at first glance. "You're always so sweet!" Maya sat on the edge of my bed and naturally picked up my hairbrush to start brushing. She was brushing her own hair. "Oh right, Chloe, make sure you bring your telephoto lens for the hike today, okay? I saw online that the shots of the mountain peaks from that trail are incredible." I said, "That lens is really heavy." "It'll be fine! You've got great stamina." She checked her reflection in the small mirror in my room, looking very satisfied as she slipped Ethan's jacket on. The navy fleece hung loosely on her frame. The sleeves were too long, so she rolled them up, exposing her slender wrists. "I'm gonna head down for breakfast! Ethan's probably already in the dining area." The door closed. I slowly got dressed and shoved the heavy telephoto lens into my backpack. The straps dug painfully into my shoulders. When I got downstairs, I saw Ethan and Maya sitting across from each other by the window. Two coffees, two plates of eggs and bacon. I walked over and sat down. Ethan looked up. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I didn't order for you." Maya chimed in, "Chloe, your taste is so hard to guess. Every time we ask what you want, you just say 'whatever'." I said, "It's fine, I'll go grab something myself." When I walked up to the breakfast buffet, the hot food was almost entirely gone. All that was left were a few slices of cold toast and some butter packets. I grabbed two slices of toast and walked back. Ethan looked at my plate and frowned slightly. "That's all you're eating?" "It's enough." Maya reached over with her fork and picked up a piece of bacon from her own plate. "Here, have a piece of mine." She wasn't putting it on my plate. She was reaching across the table to put it on Ethan's plate. "Oh, oops, my bad! Ethan, pass that to Chloe." Ethan paused for a second, then pushed the piece of bacon across the table toward me. I didn't eat it. On the shuttle bus to the trailhead, I sat alone in a single seat near the back window. Two rows ahead of me, Maya and Ethan sat shoulder-to-shoulder, sharing a pair of AirPods. She laughed out loud occasionally, turning back to tell me, "Chloe, you have to listen to this song later, it's so good." But she never offered me an earbud. When we arrived at the scenic overlook, the wind was fierce. I walked behind them, carrying my heavy camera bag, watching the two of them stand side-by-side at the railing. Maya was wearing Ethan's jacket. The wind whipped her hair across her face, and Ethan reached out to gently tuck a strand behind her ear. The movement was incredibly natural. Like he had done it a thousand times before. I pulled out my camera. No one had asked me to take a picture yet, but I knew that in a few seconds, Maya would turn around. Three, two, one. "Chloe! Quick, take a picture! The background is gorgeous!" The shutter clicked four times. As I lowered the camera, a guy wearing a heavy hiking pack walked up to me and asked in perfect English, "Excuse me, are you a professional photographer?" I froze for a second. He pointed at the heavy camera strapped around my neck and the massive backpack I was hauling. "You just look very official." I offered a bitter smile. "No, I'm just their friend." He smiled politely, a flicker of confusion crossing his eyes, and walked away. Ethan heard the exchange. He glanced at me. His lips parted as if to speak. I waited for three seconds. He said nothing. Maya chimed in instead. "Haha, see Chloe? You look so professional even strangers think you're a hired photographer." "You should totally start a travel photography business. I'd be your first client!" The mountain wind scattered her words slightly, but I heard every single syllable perfectly clearly. I raised the camera again. Through the viewfinder, the snow-capped mountain peak looked brilliant. Blindingly white. But my fingers were so numb from the cold I could barely feel them anymore. Chapter 3 "Chloe, do you think Ethan has been acting weird around me lately?" That night, after we got back from the hike, Maya showed up at my door in her pajamas. She was holding two cups of hot cocoa from the vending machine downstairs, wearing an expression of perfectly calculated distress. I let her in. She sat cross-legged on my bed, took a sip of cocoa, and let out a dramatic sigh. "It's just... he keeps looking at me, but then he won't say anything. Sometimes I joke around with him, and he just smiles but doesn't play along." She looked up at me, her eyes slightly glassy. "Do you think he has feelings for me?" I took a sip of my hot cocoa. It burned my tongue. "He's my boyfriend." Maya blinked, acting as if she had suddenly been jolted awake, waving her hands frantically. "I know, I know! I didn't mean it like that! I'm just... confused, you know?" "Do you think I should distance myself from him? But we've always acted like this since we were kids. If I suddenly change how I act, it'll make things weird, right?" Since we were kids. Those words rolled off her tongue so easily, but they hit my ears like lead weights. Maya and Ethan grew up together. They lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same elementary, middle, and high school. They drifted apart during the first three years of college, only to reconnect right before graduation. Because of me. During our sophomore year, Maya transferred to my university and became my roommate. She was bubbly, gorgeous, and sweet to everyone. She was the one who told me that the guy from the neighboring dorm, Ethan, kept looking at me. She was the one who passed notes for us. She was the one who posted, "My roomie finally got a boyfriend!" on Instagram the day we made it official. And then she and Ethan were reunited. And everything just naturally fell into place. Dinner for three. Studying for three. Road trips for three. I never thought there was an issue. Until this trip. "Chloe, you're not mad, are you?" Maya leaned closer, grabbing my hand. Her palm was clammy. Her tone was soft, laced with a careful, pleading sweetness. But when I looked into her eyes, I didn't see anxiety. I saw validation. She was checking to make sure I wasn't going to snap. Checking to make sure I was still the same reliable, passive Chloe who always said "It's fine." "No." After I said that word, I suddenly remembered the stranger on the trail asking me that question earlier today. Are you their photographer? Yeah. What exactly was I? "Oh, good!" Maya exhaled deeply, flopping backward onto my blankets. "Oh right! Tomorrow is our last day, and I really want to go to that cute little artisan village downtown. Could you look up the bus routes for us?" I said sure. After she left, I didn't look up any bus routes. I opened my airline app and stared at my modified flight itinerary for tomorrow. 2:15 PM departure. Out of state, heading straight back home. I wondered what time she and Ethan would finally notice I was gone. My phone buzzed. It was a text from Ethan. "Are you asleep?" I stared at those words for a long time. What did he want to say? Yesterday he asked, "Are you okay?" Today he asks, "Are you asleep?" It had been four days, and the number of times he initiated a conversation with me could be counted on one hand. Meanwhile, I had personally witnessed him exchange at least fifty sentences with Maya just today. I didn't reply. Three minutes later, another message came through. "We're heading to the artisan village tomorrow. Do you want to come?" We. I didn't know if that "we" included me. But I knew that tomorrow, at the artisan village, it would only be him and Maya. I typed out a reply: "I want to sleep in tomorrow. You guys go ahead without me." Send. He replied almost instantly: "Okay, get some rest. Do you want me to bring you anything back?" My thumbs moved almost by pure muscle memory: "No thanks." Then I added: "Have fun." The chat went dead silent. I locked my screen, and the room was plunged into darkness. Outside my window, the faint, distant crackle of fireworks popped, briefly illuminating a small square on my ceiling. I remembered the beginning of our freshman year, right after Ethan and I started dating. He used to walk twenty minutes across campus just to save a seat for me in the library. When it poured rain, he would give me his only umbrella and walk back to his dorm completely soaked. On my birthday, he would call me at exactly midnight, and the very first thing he would say was always, "Chloe, happy birthday. You're stuck with me for another year." And then what happened? Then Maya showed up. His attention began to splinter. Like water hitting a rock in a stream, it naturally diverted and flowed around me. It wasn't a sudden, violent shift. It was just a slow, gradual drift. Every single time, he drifted just a little bit further away. Just enough that I could almost convince myself it was perfectly normal. The affection he showed me dwindled, but it never completely vanished. He still held my hand occasionally. He still said goodnight. He still asked, "Are you okay?" So I kept lying to myself: He still loves me. They're just old friends. It's just a friendship. But friends don't wear each other's jackets. They don't share a single pair of earbuds. They don't tenderly tuck hair behind each other's ears in the wind. They don't stand by and let the entire world mistake the person they claim to love for a completely irrelevant third wheel, over and over again. My flight was tomorrow at 2:15 PM. I wasn't going to say goodbye. Chapter 4 "Miss, would you like your breakfast brought up to the room?" When the resort staff knocked on my door, I had already finished packing my bags. It wasn't much. One carry-on, one backpack. My camera and the heavy telephoto lens were buried at the bottom of my suitcase, pressed down beneath a pile of dresses I hadn't worn once this trip. Maya had dragged me to the mall to buy that specific dress before we left. She had insisted, "Chloe, you have to dress up! These graduation trip photos are going to last a lifetime." She ended up picking out a floral sundress for me. The price tag said $250. I paid for it without hesitating, just because she said I looked pretty in it. Four days had passed, and I never took it out of my suitcase. Because I wasn't in any of the photos anyway. I ate a few bites of oatmeal and pushed the tray out into the hallway. I checked the time. 8:30 AM. Ethan and Maya had probably already checked out of their rooms and left for the day. Sure enough, the group chat had a string of messages from fifteen minutes ago. Maya: "Chloe~ We're heading out! Enjoy sleeping in!" Maya: "We'll bring you back a cute souvenir tonight!" Ethan hadn't said anything in the group chat. But five minutes later, he sent me a private text: "I'll come find you this afternoon." I stared at that message for a long time. When you come looking for me this afternoon, this room will already be empty. I didn't reply. I grabbed my suitcase and headed downstairs. The front desk clerk was the same guy who had handed me the wrong room key on the first day. Seeing me dragging my luggage alone, he asked politely, "Where are your friends? Do you need me to call a cab to the airport?" "Yes, please." As I settled the bill, he asked if I needed him to leave a message for the other guests in my party. I said, "No need." The Uber arrived quickly. As I climbed into the backseat, I took one last look at the entrance of the resort. A decorative wind chime hung by the door, swaying gently in the morning breeze. I had walked through those doors countless times over the last three days. Every single time, I was walking ten steps behind them. Goodbye. About ten minutes into the ride, my phone rang. It wasn't Ethan. It wasn't Maya. It was my mom. "Chloe, are you having fun on your trip?" I said, "Yeah, it's been great." "Send me some pictures! I want to see you and Ethan together." I was silent for two seconds. "I'll send you some next time we take them." I hung up. Outside the window, the pine trees and luxury cabins blurred past, shrinking smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until they disappeared completely. I arrived at the airport by noon. Security, waiting at the gate, boarding. Throughout the entire process, I didn't receive a single text. Ethan and Maya were probably still wandering around the artisan village, taking hundreds of photos that didn't require me to press the shutter button. I sank into my window seat in economy and buckled my seatbelt. Next to me sat an older couple. The husband was helping his wife adjust her seatbelt, and she patted his hand affectionately. I turned my face toward the window. The moment the plane lifted off the runway, the ground dropped away, turning the buildings and cars into tiny, insignificant toys. My phone was on airplane mode. The screen still displayed the very last message I had received. "I'll come find you this afternoon." The flight attendant's voice echoed through the cabin, announcing our flight time. In four and a half hours, I would land in a completely different state. This trip was over. I closed my eyes as the plane pierced through the cloud cover.
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