Chapter 1 When my boyfriend, Ethan Brooks, was caught in a fatal accident during a geological survey, he managed to send back only three final messages. The first was a work report. The second was an apology to his parents. And the third was: “Chloe, you are my Quaternary Glaciation.” Chloe was my best friend. They were both brilliant geologists. Years ago, they secretly applied to the same geology program at the same university behind my back. Later, they became the most in-sync partners in their field. To understand what they were talking about, I forcefully switched my major to geology. But in the end, I only ever managed to run errands and do grunt work in the lab. Ethan used to comfort me. "Everyone has their own strengths. I'm just glad you're my girlfriend." But he would still look at Chloe with eyes full of regret and longing. Even in his dying words, he used terminology I couldn't understand to confess his love to her. Not long after, Chloe also died in an accident. As distinguished alumni, they were buried side-by-side at our alma mater. I lived the rest of my life in deep regret. But when I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day of my junior year when I was supposed to switch my major. I looked at our group chat. They were completely ignoring my messages, happily chatting with each other. I smiled, and canceled my major transfer application. This time, I'm not chasing after them anymore. After I withdrew my application, notifications kept popping up in our group chat. The two of them were talking non-stop. I sent a message: “Have you guys eaten?” It was as if my text was invisible. It got buried until it was off-screen, and neither of them replied. The conversation had originally been about my birthday plans for tomorrow. But somewhere along the line, it morphed into a deep geological discussion that I couldn't insert myself into. Without much hesitation, I left the group chat. To my surprise, the moment I left, Ethan sent me a question mark. Chloe also sent a message. I didn't reply to either. Ethan then called me, his voice as gentle as always. "Ava, why did you leave the group?" Noticing my silence, he continued with his usual, patronizingly patient tone. "Chloe made that group. You suddenly throwing a tantrum and leaving really hurt her feelings." "If you're upset about something, we can talk about it when we see each other tomorrow, okay? Just add yourself back to the group for now." Knowing full well that they had ignored me first, Ethan still chose to prioritize Chloe's feelings. I sat blankly on my bed. My phone suddenly felt incredibly heavy, pressing down on my chest until it was hard to breathe. After hanging up, I rejoined the group. But I still didn't reply to their messages. The next morning, while I was still trying to catch up on sleep, my phone vibrated repeatedly. Chloe sounded cheerful. "Ava, hurry up and come out for your birthday! We still have classes this afternoon." Out of habit, I dragged myself out of bed to accommodate their schedule. It wasn't until I reached the ground floor of my dorm that I fully woke up. Chloe had already thrown herself into my arms. Ethan stood behind her, a wide smile on his face, looking exactly like her boyfriend. Chloe mysteriously pulled out a gift box. "Open it! Ethan and I picked this out for your birthday." Looking at the same exquisite box from my previous life, I felt zero desire to open it. Because I knew exactly what it was—a doll full of stereotypical girly tropes. In my past life, I opened it with genuine excitement, only to feel like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. Chloe and Ethan had been so thrilled. "Do you love it? We looked forever and both agreed it looks just like you." I didn't see the truth back then. It wasn't until three months later, on Chloe's birthday, that I realized what true effort looked like. Ethan used his connections to buy a genuine lunar meteorite for her. I accepted the gift with a flat expression. "Thanks." Chloe pouted slightly. "Why aren't you happy, Ava?" Ethan answered casually on my behalf. "She's been busy transferring her major these past two days. She's not unhappy." He certainly knew what I was busy with, because he was the one who convinced me to switch majors in the first place. Back then, Ethan had said: "If your current major is too exhausting, just transfer to mine. We'll look out for you." So, in my junior year, I recklessly transferred to geology without a second thought. But later, when I was being chewed out by my advisor, Ethan had just sighed impatiently. "You were the one who insisted on studying geology, even though you know you aren't smart enough." Hearing his confident assertion now, I laughed. They didn't know yet. I wasn't transferring anymore. Chloe nodded and dragged me toward the dining hall. As soon as we sat down, Ethan walked out holding a cake. The moment I saw the rich, sickly-sweet chocolate icing, acid churned in my stomach. "Why is it a chocolate cake again?" Ethan said dismissively, "You don't even like cake anyway, so I just let Chloe pick." Chloe whined playfully. "But chocolate is the best! You really need to change your habits, Ava." "I don't eat chocolate." They both knew perfectly well that I hated chocolate, but every single time, they catered to Chloe's preference. Ethan gave me a strange look. But Chloe aggressively turned off the lights, cutting off his investigative gaze. The candlelight flickered and swayed. Ethan urged eagerly, "Make a wish, Ava." I didn't have much patience, squinting my eyes shut half-heartedly. But to my surprise, I saw Chloe excitedly put on a birthday crown and close her eyes to make a wish alongside me. The dim candlelight illuminated the gentle, entirely devoted gaze Ethan fixed on her. A sour, bitter feeling clawed at my chest, followed by the nauseating realization of having my life stolen. So, every birthday I ever had, Chloe shared my birthday wish. No wonder my annual wish of "I hope the three of us stay happy forever" never came true. I had absolutely no appetite for the entire meal. Ethan glanced at me multiple times. But he didn't ask a single question, as if trying to avoid an argument. After dinner, we walked back to campus. Initially, I was walking between the two of them. But from the moment we left the restaurant, they started discussing their coursework. Without realizing it, I was slowly squeezed off the sidewalk and into the gutter. They walked shoulder-to-shoulder, laughing and talking, sentence seamlessly overlapping sentence. It wasn't until we reached the front gates of their university that Ethan finally looked back at me, a helpless smile in his eyes. "How did you fall so far behind again?" "I won't walk you back. You can head to your campus on your own." I looked up at the massive gates of their university, watching couples walk inside together. I suddenly found it hilarious. When we were applying for college, we had all agreed to apply to the same school. But an hour before the deadline, they secretly changed their applications to the neighboring university together. They hid it from me for half a month, until the acceptance letters arrived in the mail. At the time, Ethan made up a flimsy excuse. "This school has a better geology program. We can't just compromise our futures for you." Chloe had also reassured me, "It's fine! The two campuses are right next to each other. We'll still be together." But for three years, every single time, I walked back to my campus alone. I pulled my gaze back, my face expressionless. "Fine." Ethan stared at me, his eyes growing dark. He suddenly said, "I'll walk you back." But the very next second, Chloe let out a sorrowful sigh. "Oh... but we have class soon. Ava can get back on her own." Ethan frowned, staring at me in silence. I said calmly, "Don't worry about me." His brow instantly smoothed out. "Then I'll walk you next time." I turned and walked away. I didn't even make it a few steps before I texted Ethan. 【Let's break up.】 Not long after I hit send, I heard frantic footsteps behind me. Ethan caught up and grabbed my hand tightly. "Why are you suddenly saying this? Don't make jokes like that." "I'm not joking." Ethan gave a soft chuckle and tucked a strand of windblown hair behind my ear. "Are you in a bad mood lately? Tell me what's wrong." He glanced over toward where Chloe was waiting. "But don't bring this up to Chloe. She's really anxious about finals right now, don't distract her." I froze in place. It wasn't until my eyes burned so badly that my heart ached that I finally snapped back to reality. Even when I initiated a breakup, Ethan didn't take it seriously. He only cared about Chloe. Before Chloe came into the picture, we were childhood sweethearts who knew each other better than anyone else. When we were kids, Ethan used to get into fistfights because other kids called me stupid. When we grew up, Ethan came up with every possible method to tutor me. When my parents divorced and abandoned me, he used all his allowance and savings to pay my tuition, and worked part-time tutoring jobs to cover the rest. But ever since Chloe—this younger girl who supposedly needed more taking care of—appeared, I was expected to step aside. By now, Chloe was sending a barrage of texts, rushing him. Ethan hastily wiped away my tears. "I have class. Go back and cool off." I had heard that exact sentence countless times. Every time I fought with him over Chloe, it ended with him telling me to "cool off." As if I was always the problem. While he always watched from a safe distance, never once validating my feelings. That night, Ethan sent exactly one message. 【Don't forget to take your medicine.】 When I saw the message, my leg was throbbing. It was an old injury from years of dance training. In my previous life, after graduation, it got so bad I needed surgery. But right when I was scheduled for the operation, the funding for Ethan and Chloe's two-year research project fell through. The experiment was suspended. At the time, I was doing grunt work in the lab during the day and teaching dance classes at night to scrape together money, but it was just a drop in the bucket. Watching them fail to secure grants over and over, their faces lined with stress... I gave them the money I had saved for my surgery to fill the financial hole. The experiment continued. But it became the biggest regret of my life. Six months after giving up my surgery money, my leg gave out while I was performing a freelance gig. I fell off a three-foot stage. At the hospital, the doctor looked at my X-rays and sighed heavily. "This is compressing the nerve. If you had done the surgery six months ago, we could have fixed it. Now... you'll walk with a permanent limp." I sat blankly on the hospital bed, the stark white walls blurring into ghostly streaks in my vision. I called Ethan and Chloe. Neither of them picked up. I called one of their colleagues. The colleague sent me a video. 【Someone had a birthday, the whole team came out to celebrate.】 In the video, Ethan and Chloe were sitting pressed against each other in the corner of a karaoke booth. Amidst the cheering crowd, they were playing a game where they had to pass a cookie mouth-to-mouth. The charged, ambiguous look in their eyes made it look like they were actually kissing. The flashing neon lights blinded me, and my heart clenched in violent spasms. It wasn't until the next day that Ethan finally returned my call. He sounded entirely unbothered. 【Your leg is permanently damaged? It's fine. Worst case, you just stop dancing.】 【Being out there performing for everyone all the time isn't proper anyway.】 He seemed to have completely forgotten whose money funded his experiment. The freezing sensation of my ice pack pulled me out of my memories. I decisively booked an appointment with an orthopedic specialist for tomorrow. At the hospital, the doctor looked at my scans with a serious expression. "We caught it early. We can still operate, and it won't affect your future career in dance." "But you must strictly avoid any intense physical activity before the surgery. If it worsens, it might be too late to operate." Luckily, summer break was just around the corner. I breathed a sigh of relief. When I returned from the hospital, I bumped into Chloe and Ethan at the dorm gates. Seeing the medical scans in my hand, Ethan frowned. "What are those?" "Just got some X-rays done," I said dismissively. Ethan nodded and didn't ask further. Because Chloe, who was currently weeping, demanded much more attention. "Ava, why did you break up with Ethan? Is it because of me?" "Ethan and I are just friends! You are the most important person in my life, why would you overthink this?" I stared at her quietly. I couldn't help but remember when Ethan died in my past life, Chloe refused to accept reality and blamed the entire accident on me. "If you hadn't kept texting him the night before, he wouldn't have been sleep-deprived! He wouldn't have made a mistake!" Because of Chloe's accusations, everyone channeled their grief into hatred toward me. Even the media singled out her quote. I was cyberbullied so severely I developed severe depression and almost committed suicide. Hearing Chloe's words now, I asked her back: "Chloe, don't you like Ethan?" Chloe's pupils contracted. She stammered evasively, "How could I steal your boyfriend? Besides, if we were going to date, we would have done it already. Why would he date you?" Ethan looked at me with deep disappointment. "Ava, you shouldn't doubt Chloe and me. She cares about you more than anyone." His voice carried a commanding tone. "Apologize to Chloe." I shot him a sideways glance. "I don't know if she cares about me, but you certainly care about her." Ethan’s face darkened, and Chloe immediately dropped her crying act to shield him. "How can you say that about Ethan? Hasn't he done enough for you? Without him, you'd be a college dropout by now!" To protect Ethan, Chloe didn't hesitate to dig up my deepest wounds to humiliate me. Ignoring the piercing pain in my leg, I sidestepped them and kept walking. Chloe tried to chase after me, but Ethan stopped her. "Leave it. She doesn't appreciate your concern, and look at you, crying so hard your makeup is ruined." I could hear Chloe still sobbing. Ethan coaxed her gently, "She's just throwing a tantrum. We aren't really breaking up. We'll both always be here for you." I let out a bitter laugh. The moment I got back to my dorm, I submitted my application for the exchange student program. My advisor asked me one last time to confirm. "Only your current major has quotas for this exchange program. Are you absolutely certain you aren't transferring majors, and want to apply for the exchange?" Thinking of Ethan’s arrogant assumption, I confirmed without a shred of hesitation. Early the next morning, Chloe sent me a text. 【Ava, I was too aggressive yesterday, please don't be mad.】 【Ethan said you've been in a bad mood, so we're going mountain climbing to relax! You love hiking, right?】 In the past, I only claimed I liked hiking so I could accompany them on their field trips. I was just about to refuse when Ethan called, his tone exasperated. 【Just agree to go. Otherwise, she's going to throw a fit and wait outside your dorm again.】 "My leg is injured. I can't climb mountains anymore." I spoke coldly and hung up. But they really did block the entrance to my dorm building. Ethan spoke with an unquestionable tone. "The mountain we're climbing today isn't steep, and there's a cable car. It won't affect you." I was sandwiched between the two of them and practically forced into the car. There were other strangers in the vehicle. The entire ride, Ethan and Chloe chatted enthusiastically with everyone else, while I sat there like an outcast. After getting out of the car, Ethan naturally reached to pick up my backpack. "I want the same treatment," Chloe demanded, making zero effort to hide her intimacy with Ethan. Ethan smoothly swung her backpack over his other shoulder. It wasn't until we started hiking that I realized this was another one of Chloe's geological survey projects. I was just tagging along as an afterthought. Halfway up the mountain, a dull ache started radiating through my leg. "I'm not climbing anymore." Chloe shot me an annoyed glance over her shoulder, didn't say a word, and kept climbing. Ethan looked entirely devoid of patience. "I'm already carrying your bag, what more do you want?" The rest of the group walked past me with visible disdain. "Taking two steps and complaining about being tired. Why do newbies even come?" I threw my trekking pole to the ground and started heading back down. Ethan irritably blocked my path. "Going down alone is too dangerous. Just keep climbing, there's a cable car at the top." I don't know how long we walked, but the sky grew dark, and there was still no sign of a cable car. My leg was trembling from the pain. I asked again, "Where is the cable car?" This time, the entire group fell silent. Chloe's voice trembled with panic. "We took the wrong route." I stared at Ethan in shock. He pressed his lips together and said absolutely nothing. Someone called emergency rescue. But our exact location was unclear, and no one knew when rescue would arrive. Fear began to spread. I whispered, "Ethan, my leg hurts." Before he could answer, someone yelled, "Enough already! If you're sick, why did you even come? You just wanted to leech academic credits and force Ethan to take care of you, didn't you?!" The others chimed in, their expressions judging. "His actual girlfriend is standing right here. Have you no shame?" Seeing Chloe averting her gaze, I finally understood. They all thought Ethan and Chloe were a couple, and I was the shameless homewrecker. The pain made me break out in a cold sweat. I crouched on the ground, lacking the energy to defend myself. Ethan snapped coldly, "Everyone calm down. Don't take your anger out on her." After feeding me an emergency painkiller, Ethan crouched in front of me. "I'll carry you down the way we came." But Chloe suddenly spoke up, her voice thick with tears. "Ethan, I'm scared of the dark." Ethan froze. "Don't you have a flashlight?" She grabbed his sleeve. "Without you, I'm still scared." Someone chimed in at the perfect moment. "Ethan, you should take Chloe down first. She gets scared easily." Others agreed. "Yeah, plus Chloe's safety is more important." In the pitch-black darkness, every sound was magnified infinitely. I could hear my racing heartbeat. I could hear the contempt in their voices. And I heard the words Ethan said as he hesitated, then stood up. "You wait here for the rescue team. I'll take Chloe down and then come back for you." I grabbed his hand, trembling violently. "Don't go, Ethan. I can't wait." But Ethan cruelly peeled my fingers off his hand. "Your leg isn't that bad. The painkillers will kick in." The sound of Ethan carrying Chloe down the mountain echoed into the distance. I sat on the ground, completely dead inside. The night wind on the mountain was brutal, stinging my tear-stained eyes. I don't know how long I waited. Right before I passed out, the rescue team finally reached me. By the time Ethan rushed to the hospital, he was met with the awkward faces of his teammates. The glowing red letters spelling IN SURGERY above the operating room doors made his scalp go numb. What's going on? Why is Ava in surgery?
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