Chapter 1 On the first day of summer break, my parents found me another job. "A cashier at the grocery store. The pay is decent, and it’s great for building your resume." From my freshman year of college all the way to my senior year, they had repeated this exact phrase. My freshman year, they sent me to work at a packing plant, while they took my younger sister on a road trip to Washington D.C. to see the monuments. My sophomore year, they sent me to work at a convenience store, and then bought my sister a car and paid for her driving lessons. My junior year, they sent me to work at a summer tutoring camp, while they took her to the Bahamas. So, where were they going this year? "We’re going to Italy." My older brother, Liam, pushed the door open, smiling as he handed me a pair of sneakers. "Bought these specially for you. They’ll make standing for ten hours a breeze." "I’m paying for the trip this year. Lily is young, it’s the perfect time for her to see the world," Liam added. My younger sister smiled sweetly, squealing as she threw herself into his arms. "Liam, I knew you guys loved me the most!" I looked at my parents. They silently shifted their gazes away from me. No one cared how I felt, even though I was only a year older than Lily. I suddenly smiled, crouched down, and put on the shoes. They were very light. Light enough to help me walk away from this family. ....... My mom was packing Lily’s suitcase when she suddenly remembered something. She looked up and called out to my brother: "Liam, Lily will be a senior next year. You really need to keep an eye out and secure a good job for her." "There are a million college grads out there right now, finding a good company isn't easy, you..." Halfway through her sentence, she abruptly shut her mouth. It seemed she had finally realized there was already a graduating senior standing right in the room. My brother still didn't notice. "Don't worry, Mom. I've already pulled some strings. The moment Lily graduates, she can walk right into a position." He paused, seemingly finally remembering I existed, and offered a token inquiry: "Harper, do you need any help?" "No need." I had already found a job. A corporate assignment in Latin America. Once my official diploma arrived in a few days, I was leaving. Liam gave a brief "hmm" and didn't say anything else. My dad noticed the atmosphere growing stiff and chuckled, trying to smooth things over. "Our middle child has always been so independent. We never have to worry about her." My hands, which had been tying my shoelaces, froze for a second. I wasn't independent. I just knew that if I didn't do things myself, no one was going to help me. Liam was the eldest son. He had their undivided love for six years. Lily was the youngest, the little princess my parents held in the palm of their hands. I was the only one stuck in the middle, neither here nor there. An invisible ghost in my own home. Lily set down her Coke, ran over, and looped her arm through mine. "Harper, is there anything you want? I can bring it back for you!" Her expression was earnest, but a flicker of unnatural guilt flashed through her clear eyes. She knew exactly how unfair this was to me. But I knew the truth. She would forget. Just like on every vacation, she would remember the silk scarf Mom wanted, and the specific tie Dad needed. She would even help Liam hunt down vintage camera lenses. But she would never remember mine. That fleeting trace of guilt always vanished as quickly as it came. I was used to it. I gave a gentle smile. "Surprise me." Mom stopped folding clothes and suddenly smiled at me. "Harper, look how sweet your sister is to you." "If you’re having your sister bring you something back, shouldn't you show some appreciation?" Dad had clearly been waiting for Mom to say this, smoothly chiming in. "How about this? You can give Lily your first paycheck from your summer job for her to use as pocket money." "Oh, it's fine, you don't have to," Lily replied, her tone breezy and dismissive. Liam patted her head. "Don't be so modest. You just focus on having fun." With a few casual words, the three of them had decided exactly how my salary would be spent. They didn't even bother asking for my opinion. From freshman to senior year, it had been like this every single time. It was so bad that last year, after paying my own tuition, I had zero money left for food. I Venmo-requested fifty bucks from Lily just to buy groceries. Less than five minutes after she sent it, my phone rang. Mom and Liam were on a conference call. "How old are you? Still scamming money out of your little sister?" "Act like an older sister for once. If you're out of cash, ask Mom and Dad. Why are you extorting Lily?" But an hour before that, I had texted Mom asking for a small loan, and she had pretended not to see it. Yet the moment Lily texted her, she replied instantly. My phone buzzed. I picked up the sneakers I had taken off and walked into my bedroom. It was an email from the company. "Your paperwork is finalized. Meet in New York next Monday for the group departure." "Understood," I typed back. Just as I hit send, someone knocked on my door. Lily pushed it open and walked straight over to my luggage. "Harper, my suitcase is ugly. I'm taking yours for the trip." "No. I need it." "Need it for what? It's not like you're going anywhere." I didn't answer. She didn't want my suitcase because it was pretty; she wanted it because she wouldn't feel bad throwing it around. No matter how well I took care of my things, whenever she borrowed them, they came back battered and dented. The atmosphere suddenly turned weird. She stood frozen, staring at me with a darkened face for a moment. Seeing that I wasn't going to budge, she turned around, slammed the door, and left. I counted silently in my head. "Five, four, three, two... one." Bang! The door was shoved open again. "Harper Miller." My parents arrived right on cue, Liam trailing behind them. "Your sister just wants to borrow your suitcase. Why are you being so petty?" "You're the older sister and you can't even lend her one thing? Are we even a family?" "I need it." This time, I didn't back down either. "Forget it. If she won't lend it, she won't lend it," Lily sniffled from the hallway, sounding incredibly wronged. My parents immediately wrapped their arms around her, whispering words of comfort. Liam stared at me intently. Suddenly, he walked into his own room and pulled out a sky-blue hard-shell suitcase. "Lily, you can use this one." My grip on the door handle tightened. That was the birthday gift I had bought for him. Lily knew exactly what it was. She shot me a deliberate look. "I don't know, Liam... Harper might get upset." Liam’s face was perfectly calm because he was doing it entirely on purpose. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, I cut in. "It's fine. It's his now. He can do whatever he wants with it." The room fell dead silent. Liam whipped his head to look at me, his brows furrowed deeply. But he didn't say another word. He just grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her away. At dinnertime, no one called me. When I finally walked out, they were in the middle of a heated discussion. "Almond gray is sophisticated but warm. I vote for almond gray for the living room," Mom said, and Liam naturally followed up. "Pearl white fits modern aesthetics better. It's minimalist." Lily picked up a piece of chicken and laughed. "I don't care how you guys decorate the rest of the new house, but my bedroom is totally under my control!" Dad wasn't joining the debate, happily eating his meal. But out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly spotted me. He immediately coughed loudly. The chatter died instantly. Turns out, they had bought a new house, and I was the only one who didn't know. I sat down and ate the closest vegetable dish, swallowing it like I was swallowing glass. Mom and Dad exchanged a look. Her mouth opened and closed. "Harper, we bought a new house. The rooms are already assigned. Whenever you have free time, you should go check it out." I slowly swallowed my food, my voice hoarse. "How long ago did you buy it?" "Six months. We just never had the chance to tell you." Whether they never had the chance, or simply didn't want to tell me, I could tell the difference. I gave a small nod and suddenly asked: "What's the door code?" "09071604." September 7th and April 16th. A combination of Liam and Lily's birthdays. I looked up at my mother, my lips trembling slightly. "Mom, when is my birthday?" Mom froze, a bizarre expression crossing her face. "What's wrong with you? Did you forget your own birthday?" Dad laughed out loud, thinking I was genuinely asking. "You were born in the dead of winter. It wasn't even your due date yet, but there was a massive blizzard. Your mom slipped on the ice and went into early labor. It was an incredibly difficult delivery, she suffered so much to have you. Your mom always says your rough birth meant you were put on this earth just to collect a karmic debt from her." Mom coughed, her face turning unnatural as she avoided my gaze. "Why bring all that up?" I lowered my head too, trying to hide the fact that my hands were shaking uncontrollably. A little while later, Liam and Lily finished their food and stacked their dirty plates in the sink before retreating to their rooms. After Dad left the table, Mom stood up as well. "Harper, house rules. Whoever eats the slowest does the dishes." With that, she turned and walked away. The dining table was left with a pile of leftovers and dirty dishes. I was always the slowest. Because when it was time to eat, no one ever told me. Mom would call Liam, Dad would shout for Lily. By the time I realized dinner had started and came out, the food was usually half gone. So I was always the one washing the dishes. While I was scrubbing the pots, my grandparents called. "I heard from Liam that you guys are taking Lily to Italy?" "Yes, Mom! Is there anything you'd like us to bring back?" Mom answered happily. Grandma chuckled and said she didn't need anything. "Isn't Harper going?" Without a second of hesitation, Mom replied: "Oh, she's not going. She wants to work a summer job to build her resume." "That girl..." Grandpa sighed on the other end, but didn't ask anything else. Because for the last four years, my parents had always answered like this. "Isn't Harper going to the theme park?" "She's not going, she's staying home to study." "Isn't Harper coming skiing?" "She hates sports." "Isn't Harper in the family portraits?" "She's having a breakout and didn't want her picture taken." ........ In their mouths, I was an antisocial nerd, a reclusive weirdo, a fool who only knew how to suffer. That way, no one could ever advocate for me, because this was just "how I was." The doorbell suddenly rang. I put the last plate on the drying rack, wiped the corner of my eye, and walked over. "Delivery for you. Just sign here." It was my official college diploma. My heart suddenly felt incredibly light. It meant I was truly free to leave. "What arrived?" Liam’s voice suddenly came from behind me. He was holding a mug of coffee, hands in his pockets, eyeing the smile on my face. "My diploma." He gave an "oh," turned to leave, and then remembered something. "What do you want for a gift? I promised I'd get you something for graduation." I froze for a second, surprised he actually remembered. I had never held out hope for it. I thought for a few seconds, then looked up at him. "Come with me to get my travel vaccines tomorrow." My corporate deployment required us to get vaccinated for Latin America just in case. "That's it?" He looked genuinely shocked. I nodded. "That's it." He shrugged casually and agreed. The next afternoon, after packing my purse, I stood by the front door waiting for him. But when Liam came out, he looked helpless. "Lily needs to buy some outfits for the trip. I'm going to drop her off at the mall first, then I'll come back and take you." "But my appointment is booked." "Then just reschedule it. Lily is in a rush, we're leaving tomorrow." The words died in my throat. Seeing my silence, Lily's eyes instantly welled up with red. She tugged at the hem of her shirt and mumbled softly: "Never mind, I just won't buy anything. Liam, you go with Harper." Liam refused without a second thought. "Don't be ridiculous, you need nice clothes for Europe!" As he said it, he seemed to realize how blatantly biased he was being, so he tossed the decision onto me. "Harper, what do you think?" I looked up at his face, waiting with a quiet, oppressive demand. I suddenly felt so incredibly exhausted. They made it look like they were waiting for my decision. But we all knew the power to decide had never been in my hands. I stayed silent for a few seconds, then gave a soft laugh. "Just go." Liam let out a visible sigh of relief. Lily ran over and kissed my cheek. "Thanks, Harper!" "You're welcome." I went to the clinic and got the vaccines alone. Afterward, I booked my train ticket for the following day. When I got home, Lily was in the living room sharing her shopping haul with Mom and Dad. At the very end, she pulled out the clothes she had bought for them. Mom gasped in delight. But when she caught sight of me in her peripheral vision, her smile vanished instantly. "Harper, I'm not trying to nag, but look how thoughtful your sister is. She bought gifts for me and your dad. You never even think of us." "With what money?" The only reason Lily could buy them gifts was because Mom had transferred her two grand before they left for the mall. She was using their own money to win their favor. Mom knew this perfectly well, yet she still used it as a knife to stab me. "What is that supposed to mean? Are you complaining I don't give you enough money? How old are you? Still keeping score with your younger sister?" Mom clearly hadn't expected me to talk back. After a moment of shock, she fired off a barrage of furious questions. "I'm twenty-two. I am one year older than Lily." "Enough!" Dad's voice boomed as he reprimanded me. "You're a grown woman! Stop arguing with your mother!" Liam looked at me with a complicated expression. "Harper, why is your temper getting so bad lately?" With her defenders jumping in, Mom’s eyes instantly turned red, and she stormed into her bedroom, acting like the ultimate victim. "Harper, you need to go apologize to Mom." Lily blocked my path, grabbing my arm with a serious expression. "Let go of me." She shook her head, looking down at me with self-righteous judgment. "She's your mother. She gave you life. How can you treat her like this? You are so ungrateful." A wave of profound sorrow washed over me. In this house, the person with the absolute least right to condemn me was her. I had endured everything. I had stayed silent. But I wasn't even allowed to voice mild discomfort without being attacked. Everyone loved her, so whatever she did was right. "You're so noble, aren't you?" My tone was feather-light. I didn't even look at her. But those words made her face contort. As if she had suffered a grave insult, she screamed at me: "No wonder Mom and Dad don't like you! You're just a freak!" With that, she shoved me hard and ran into her room. I stumbled and hit the corner of the dining table, doubling over in pain. Liam rushed after Lily to comfort her as she cried. Dad turned and went into the bedroom to console my upset mother. No one cared about me. It was perfect. Clutching my stomach, I slowly shuffled into my bedroom. That night, no one called me for dinner again. I was in too much pain to have an appetite, so I didn't go out. But when I emerged later to use the restroom, all the dirty dishes were stacked on the table. They were waiting for me to clean up. They probably thought they were leaving me a "way out" to make peace. Assuming I would act like the family maid just to win back their favor, like I always did. But I didn't need it anymore. By noon the next day, Mom, Dad, and Lily were happily getting ready to leave for the airport. When they saw me, their cheerful chatter died for a second. Then, Mom let out a cold scoff. "Walking around with a miserable look on her face all day, like we owe her money." Liam followed me to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. His voice was heavy. "Are you really not going to apologize to Mom? You're just going to let her leave for her vacation upset?" "She seems pretty happy to me." I shook the water off my hands, dried them, and pushed past him. Liam followed me out, his face pale with anger. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Mom cut him off. "Stop wasting your breath on her. She's a rabid dog that bites anyone she sees." This time, Dad and Liam, who normally might have said a word to diffuse the tension, remained completely silent. I grabbed my bag and walked out the door ahead of them. When we bumped into each other down in the lobby, Lily suddenly stopped. "Where is Harper going?" "Where else? To work at the grocery store," Mom said dismissively, pulling Lily toward their Uber. But suddenly, Dad froze. He noticed my suitcase. If I was just going to the local grocery store for a shift, why would I have luggage? Dad's heart suddenly dropped. He waved his hand frantically toward me, but seeing that I didn't notice, he quickened his pace to intercept me. "Harper! Where are you going?" But a second later, the sharp honk of a taxi horn sounded. He stopped dead in his tracks, his face turning ashen.
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