I traded my entire human life to make Ethan the Alpha of this pack, but the day his father died, he dragged a whimpering she-wolf into packhouse and demanded I share his bed with her. "Sera, this was my father's Mate" he says, one hand pCynthiated protectively on her trembling shoulder. "Pack tradition. I have to take care of her now." I look at the way he shields her behind his back, and my smile turns ugly on my face. "No." His face goes cold in a heartbeat. It's the first time he's ever gone against me, and he keeps her anyway. Every night after that, the cabin next to ours fills with the same sounds. Heavy thuds. Low growls. A female's broken little moans. I clamp my palms over my ears and curl up under the fur bCynthiaket, the cramps in my belly twisting like knives. Through the pain, I force myself to count the marks I've carved into the stone wall with beast blood. The next Blood Moon is almost here. The cabin door creaks open. A warm body settles on the edge of the bed. I feel his hand drift toward my hair, and I burrow deeper into the furs before he can touch me. "Don't." Ethan freezes. His lips press into a thin line. "Sera, you're sulking again." His voice is rough, irritated. ""It's not my fault you can't give me an heir. Don't read so much into it. You're my Luna. You're the only female with my name" I clench the fur bCynthiaket and say nothing.· He drags a hand through his hair, frustrated. "When Cynthia whelps in the spring, I'll send her away. The pack will be satisfied. We'll raise the pup together. He'll only ever call you mother. Stop being difficult." With that, Ethan stands up and walks out the door. He can't stand facing my cold face, so he goes back to Cynthia. And this same scene has played out every single night since he brought her home. I wipe the dried tears off my cheeks and sit up. The fire is still warm, but my bones feel like ice. I don't belong in this world. I've been in this world three years. It's brutal. Backwater. Cold in a way that gets inside you and never leaves. If I hadn't met Ethan, I would never have missed the Blood Moon. I would have gone home. He was the fiercest warrior in the pack, and he gave me the most honest thing he had. I rip the wolf-fang necklace off my throat. My eyes burn. He broke his oath. He broke me. I still remember the night I chose to stay. He pressed this necklace into my palm with both hands. "Sera, thank you. I don't care that you don't have a Breeding Totem. In this lifetime, Ethan will only ever have you. Even if we never get a pup of our own, I'm at peace with it." Three years. That's all it took for him to drag his dead father's Mate into our home. There's a pack law here. The son inherits the father's Mate. Even though Cynthia shares no blood with him, she became his property the moment the old Alpha stopped breathing. He feeds her. She breeds for him. Clean transaction. I thought he'd broken from those laws for me. I was wrong. I laugh under my breath and toss the necklace into the fire. The bone curls, blackens, crumbles into ash. A tainted vow. I don't want it anymore. A female's soft, coy laughter drifts faintly through the wall, on and off. I run my thumb over the bone ring on my finger, then lift my eyes to the corner of the stone wall, where blood-red symbols only I can read are scrawled across the rock. The next Blood Moon is almost here.
I stare at the drowned vegetable sprouts in my field, my whole body trembling with rage. Beside me, Cynthia flinches, the wooden bucket still dangling from her hand. Her eyes brim with tears. "Sera, I didn't mean to," she whimpers. "I just wanted to help. I only gave them a little extra water, I swear, I didn't know they'd all die…" She starts to sob. The mating marks all over her bare skin are impossible to miss. I jerk my gaze away like I've been burned. My chest feels sour and hot at the same time. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. What's the point? The sprouts are already dead. I unclench my fists and step forward to see what can still be saved. But Cynthia's face goes white with shock. She sways on her feet, then suddenly collapses forward. Before I can even react, a force slams into me and shoves me sideways. My knee cracks against a rock. Cold sweat floods my skin. When I look up, Ethan is there. Still in his hunting leathers, dust and pine needles in his hair. He just got back. His eyes are red and feral. He scoops Cynthia against his chest, and the look he gives me is pure accusation. "Sera. You can't even tolerate her this much?" My lips tremble. Then I smile at him, tired and sad. "Did you see me do anything to her? Or do your eyes only show you what you've already decided to believe?" He freezes. He looks around at the flooded field. He stays quiet for a long second. "They're just sprouts, Sera. She was only trSerag to help. Don't take it this far." Just sprouts. I laugh through my nose. With one sentence, he just erased three years of my work. Before me, this pack survived on raw kills. Sick guts, weak pups, half the litters dSerag before their first winter. I taught them to farm. I taught them to cook the meat right. That's why his pack thrived. That's why they made him Alpha. And now he's calling it "just sprouts" to soothe the female who killed them. "Ethan… my belly hurts," Cynthia whispers, burSerag her face in his throat. She's stopped crSerag just enough to look pitiful, clinging to his arm like a vine. His attention snaps to her like a leash pulled tight. His big hand spreads over her stomach, rubbing in slow, careful circles. So gentle. Like he's afraid of bruising her. Ethan was never a gentle male. He learned all of that, every soft touch, after we mated. Every time I felt unwell, he'd hover at my side and refuse to leave, no matter how I tried to wave him off. And now he's giving it, stroke for stroke,to another female. My knee throbs. I lower my lashes. My nails bury themselves in the dirt. "Ethan," I say. My voice cracks. "I hurt too." He stops. His lips part once, twice. He almost takes a step toward me. I stare him down, my hand pressed over my wound, fingers shaking. The next second, Cynthia's arms snap up around his neck. "Blood…" she breathes. Red runs down the inside of her thigh. His face drains. He doesn't look at me again. He just sweeps her up and runs for the Pack Doctor. I watch them disappear, the corner of my mouth twitching up. Whatever was left in me for him, the last thin thread of it, snaps clean.
"She's… she's carrSerag!" The Pack Doctor checks her twice, three times, then whirls on Ethan with shining eyes. "Truly the she-wolf with the strongest breeding capability in the entire pack. Just a few nights and she's already carrSerag a pup!" "Alpha, you can start preparing the nursery!" I stand off to the side, numb from head to toe. I can't even feel a single emotion left inside me. I just watch Ethan's face shift from frozen, to stunned, to a wet, broken kind of joy. So this is what he really wanted. A pup. My hand drifts to my own stomach without me telling it to. For three years, I've been quietly poisoning my own womb with musk powder. Because I never wanted a pup. In this world, every she-wolf is born with a Breeding Totem. It marks how strong her breeding capability is. The stronger the capability, the darker the Totem. The weaker it is, the fainter the mark. And me, a modern human, of course I don't have one. So naturally, they treated me like a freak. A cripple. Even after I ended up with Ethan, I never broke the lie. Birthing in this world is already a coin flip with death, and this place is so backward on top of it. I wasn't going to die for a pup. But back then I was naive enough to think… if it was Ethan… I force down the wave of nausea and press hard on my cramping belly. The truth is, I'm pregnant too. This pup picked the worst possible moment to come. "Because of the shock, and because Cynthia's body is fragile, besides plenty of rest, by tradition…" The Pack Doctor hesitates, then lets her eyes drift over to me. I know what she means. Every pup is a treasure to the pack. When one female in the household is carrSerag, the other females are expected to wait on her alongside the male. But the Pack Doctor can't bring herself to say it out loud. Because I'm not like the other females in this pack. I've given everything to this pack. I brought them prosperity. That's why every member here respects me. I shouldn't have to lower myself to do something like this. For a moment, no one speaks. Then Ethan speaks. "It's fine. Sera can do it." I turn my head so slowly I hear my own neck crack. "This is Sera's pup too. There's no reason she'd refuse." He says it like it's nothing. Like he's commenting on the weather. He wants me. To take care of Cynthia. To nurse the female he's been mounting next door every night. My hands ball up so tight my nails cut my palms. The Pack Doctor flinches and looks away. No one defies the Alpha. Not out loud. I look at the floor. My mouth tastes like blood. "No." Ethan's head snaps toward me. His brows pull together, disbelieving. "What did you just—Sera, this is your pup too, how can you—" "It is NOT my pup!" Before Ethan can finish, my voice rises, even cracking at the edge. My voice shakes. "Ethan… is a pup really that important?" "When you begged me to be with you, do you remember what you said…?" His jaw locks. His eyes drop. He doesn't answer. I take a step back. Then another. The disappointment in my chest is so heavy I can barely stand up under it. I forgot. I let myself forget. Ethan was born in this world. He was raised on the gospel of the bloodline. Of course he was never going to change for me. Of course. I was the fool. Choosing to stay here for him. Choosing this frozen, ugly place over my own world. Cynthia's lashes flutter. She tugs weakly on his sleeve, biting her lip, doing the wounded-doe routine. "Ethan… it's alright. Sera has done so much for the pack. And I'm only your father's leftover Mate. I—I don't deserve this. I'll have the pup quickly and move out, I promise—" Cynthia's words hit Ethan like cold water tossed into a pot of oil. His face goes cold in an instant. It looks like he's made up his mind. When he raises his eyes again, his face is a stranger's. "If you don't want to, then move out."He says to me.
The whole room goes dead silent. Cynthia's eyes go wide. For half a second, before she catches herself, I see triumph flash across her face. I smile, bitter and small. My belly cramps. "Then where do you want me to move to?" The Alpha's cabin is the safest, warmest building in the pack. There isn't a single spare cabin in the village. He knows that. Is he kicking me out? Ethan doesn't speak. His breathing has gone fast and shallow. I know he's hesitating. But what's there to hesitate over now? You already said it, Ethan. Out loud. In front of the Pack Doctor. There's no taking it back. Just admit it. The pup matters more than I do. "Where do you want me to go?" I ask again, lighter this time. Almost playful. I'm not even looking at him. I'm staring at the chipped moon outside the window. Ethan is openly hesitating now. "Yes, Alpha," the Pack Doctor jumps in nervously, "there are no spare cabins. And Sera still tends the fields, where could she possibly—" "I remember… there are a few abandoned cabins up on the Ridge, aren't there?" Ethan says. The moment those words leave his mouth, the few of us in the cabin react all at once — panic, shock, glee — every eye snapping to Ethan. The Ridge. Where only the ones with no one and nothing left ever go. So Ethan really is throwing me away. I almost laugh out loud. It doesn't matter. I'm leaving this world soon anyway. "It's only temporary," Ethan says stiffly, refusing to look at me. "When Cynthia delivers the pup, I'll bring you home. But if you'd rather stay—" "I'll go." Ethan clearly didn't expect me to agree so quickly. He freezes for a second, then rushes to speak. "I—I meant, if you'd be willing to stay and help with Cynthia, you don't have to—" "I'm not staSerag to look after her." I say it again, level and final. Then I give him a small, broken smile. "Help me move my things tonight." I turn to leave. He blocks my path with his body. His eyes are shaking. His voice comes out clenched between his teeth. "Sera… why won't you step back for me. Just once." I'm so tired. I pCynthiat my palm on his chest and push, gently. "Because I've already stepped back too many times, Ethan. This is where I stop." He doesn't grab me again. He just stands there, dark-faced, watching me walk away. And then I hear him let out a cold, brittle laugh behind me. "The path down the mountain is rough, Sera. Don't bother coming back.I'll bring your rations up to you. Every day. Until Cynthia whelps, and I bring you home."
Three days since I came up to the Ridge. Ethan only made it up here once. The first day, he brought the rations. He tried to get close to me, and I shut him down cold. He left with a black look on his face and never came back. The grass basket where the food goes has been empty ever since. Maybe he forgot. Maybe Cynthia found some excuse to keep him busy and he never made it out the door. The firewood in the corner is damp. I don't even have the strength to coax a flame out of it anymore. Cold air that cuts right through the animal hide I've wrapped myself in. I curl up tighter, both hands pressed hard against the low, dragging ache in my belly. I lift my eyes to the marks I scratched into the wall the day I arrived. Tonight is the Blood Moon. Another cramp hits, bad enough to wring cold sweat out of me. Then, out of nowhere, I start laughing. I pull myself into a smaller knot and just laugh until there's no sound left. Because I've been secretly taking musk powder this whole time, this pregnancy was already hanging by a thread. And this place runs so much colder than the valley below. This pup was never going to make it. The tears come without warning. Hot and fast. I cry for my own stupidity. I cry because I gave up my whole life, my whole world, for a male who didn't deserve a single year of it. Then a warm rush moves down the inside of my thigh. I reach down with a trembling hand and turn my palm over. Bright red. I lie back and stare up at the black ceiling. I feel it happening. The small life inside me slipping away, quiet and unhurried, like it was never really mine to keep. In the dark, my mouth curves into something that isn't quite a smile. It's alright. Go, little one. Ethan didn't deserve to be your father anyway. And I'm going home. The bone ring slides off my finger and Cynthiads on the empty hide beside me.
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