For five years, I was his co-pilot. For five years, I was his secret. I was perfectly happy with my underground relationship with Captain Kian Hayes. But the moment I found out he was still entangled with his ex-girlfriend, Cora Reed, I knew it was over. I put in a request to fly solo, determined to become Ascend Air’s first female captain. And I chose a new route that would never, ever cross paths with the Boeing 787 Dreamliner that Kian flew. ... Seattle, Ascend Air Operations Base. "Jules, you've been Kian's co-pilot for five years. With your record, you should have been flying solo ages ago. Are you really going to play second fiddle to him forever?" Director Stevens pulled a captain promotion application from his drawer and slid it across the desk to me. "You are more than qualified to be our first female captain. The entire company is behind you. Think about it—keep flying in his shadow, or seize this opportunity and command your own route?" My eyes stung at the mention of Kian’s name. I looked down at my crisp, white pilot's uniform and reached for the form. "Thank you, Director Stevens. I'll think about it." That night at ten, I came home to our empty villa in Bellevue. The house felt cavernous and cold. My gaze fell on the photo on the entryway console: me and Kian in his captain’s uniform, standing proudly in front of a Boeing 787. For a moment, I felt lost. Everyone at Ascend Air, from management to the flight crews, thought Kian and I were just the dream team in the cockpit. They had no idea our chemistry in bed was just as electric. We met when I was an intern, fresh out of Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University. We teamed up for flight simulations, shattering one record after another. Back then, Kian pursued me relentlessly. For my birthday, he rented out all of Gas Works Park and hired a quartet from the Seattle Symphony to play for me under the stars. When I was sick, he, a man who never cooked, would stay up all night watching YouTube tutorials just to make me a bowl of chicken noodle soup from scratch. His relentless efforts planted a seed of love in my heart that I couldn't ignore. To protect his career and our future together, I agreed to keep our relationship a secret. By day, we flew the same Boeing 787 from Seattle to San Francisco, then halfway across the world to Tokyo. By night, we shared the same bed. His kisses, from fiery to tender, explored every inch of me. We were a perfect match, body and soul. But thinking about it now, the memories felt tainted, the light in my eyes dimming. I don't know how long I stood there, lost in thought. The click of the lock broke the silence. "You're still up?" Kian walked in, his white uniform immaculate, the four stripes on his epaulets gleaming under the light. The faint scent of his cologne pulled me back to the present. "Flying too many night routes lately. The jet lag is hitting hard, can't sleep." I was on my annual leave this week, so I hadn't been flying with him. He didn't notice the exhaustion on my face. He just pulled a small, elegant box from his pocket and handed it to me. "A little something I picked up for you on my last trip." My heart fluttered for a second as I opened it. Inside was the newest diamond bracelet from Cartier. Three months ago, during a flight, I'd mentioned offhandedly how much I loved this bracelet from their new collection. I couldn't believe he remembered. He was thoughtful. Too bad I’d already seen it three days ago on Cora's Instagram. [Kian has such great taste! The meaning behind this Cartier bracelet is 'eternity'!] The post featured a mirror selfie of Cora in her flight attendant uniform. She looked stunning, the diamond bracelet sparkling on her wrist. A colleague had commented, "Are you and Kian back together? That bracelet looks amazing on you!" Cora replied with a simple smiley face emoji: "Don't jump to conclusions. ;)" Now, staring at the same bracelet in the box, my stomach churned. After five years together, it was only then that I learned the lead flight attendant, Cora Reed, was Kian's ex-girlfriend. No wonder he always insisted on driving her home after every crew dinner. And I, to avoid suspicion, always had to call myself an Uber. Now, a gift meant for me had appeared on his ex-girlfriend's wrist first. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Seeing my silence, Kian spoke in a low voice. "You don't like it? I had someone wait in line for six hours to get it on the launch day. You said you loved it on the plane." I closed the box. "I guess... I don't like it as much anymore." Just like I didn't love the man I'd adored for five years quite as much anymore. Kian frowned. "If you don't like it, I'll get you something else next time." With that, he walked into the bathroom. I watched his back, a bitter taste filling my mouth. Next time he buys me something else, will Cora get to try it on first, too? Or will he just buy two of everything? My gaze drifted to the promotion application on the console, partially hidden under the jewelry box. I let out a humorless laugh. I had deliberately placed the form where he couldn't miss it, but he had completely ignored it. This one-sided love affair was my mistake from the very beginning. I took a deep breath and picked up my phone to call my director. "Stevens, I'll accept the transfer. I want to fly solo on a new route. But I'm requesting the SEA-ASE route to Aspen." Director Stevens sounded surprised on the other end. "The Aspen route? That heads east, while Kian's international route goes west. If you choose that, your flight paths will never intersect. You'll barely see each other. Are you sure, Jules?" I clutched the phone tightly. "I'm sure." Even if it meant never seeing him again for the rest of my life, I had to choose this route. Director Stevens sighed. "Alright, then. I'll submit your promotion application. Get your affairs in order, and you can report for your new assignment at the end of the month. The Aspen route is yours." A flicker of light returned to my eyes. "Understood." After hanging up, I took out a pen and signed my full name on the promotion application: Juliana Vance.
The bathroom door opened, and Kian walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He glanced at me. "What are you writing?" "Release documents for the next flight," I said, folding the application and tucking it into my bag. Kian didn't seem to notice. He casually dried the water droplets from his abs with another towel. "If flying is getting to be too much, you could always quit. I can support you." My heart clenched. I stared at the man I had loved for five years, swallowing the bitter words that rose in my throat. "Let's talk about the future later." Kian always knew what I had sacrificed for him, how much I loved flying, as much as I loved life itself. But today, he was telling me to give it all up. I took a deep, silent breath to calm myself. It's okay. In fifteen days, I'll be out of here, and I'll be out of his life for good. Back in the bedroom, I had just lied down when Kian pulled me into his arms from behind. I felt the heat radiating from his body and tensed up, about to push him away. His hand was already slipping under my nightgown, his rough fingertips cool against my skin, sending a shiver through me. "Don't," I gasped. The thought that these same hands might have been intimate with Cora just three days ago made my skin crawl. Sensing my resistance, Kian sounded surprised. "What's wrong?" I pushed his hand away, making up a quick excuse. "It's that time of the month. My stomach hurts." He didn't question it. His thin lips brushed against my hair, and he moved his hand to my lower abdomen, his voice softening. "Let me warm you up, then." As I felt his familiar, gentle touch, my eyes began to well up. I knew Kian cared about me, that he loved me. But I couldn't understand why he still paid so much attention to his ex-girlfriend. Had there always been a part of his heart that he kept reserved just for her? I didn't sleep a wink that night. The next morning, Kian was getting dressed when I woke up. His phone on the nightstand lit up, and I instinctively glanced over. It was a text from Cora. [Kian, remember number three on our college wish list? Watch the sunrise together at Green Lake. I'll be waiting for you at the boat dock!] My heart sank. Just last week, Kian had promised to take me to see the sunrise at Green Lake once my leave started. When I saw him getting ready just now, I thought he'd remembered. Turns out, he already had plans with Cora. Watching him fix his tie in the mirror, I spoke up, my voice casual. "I hear the sunrise at Green Lake is beautiful. Let's go see it today." Kian's hands paused. "I've got a training session with some of the new interns and senior instructors today. How about next week? I'll take you next week." He grabbed his phone and walked out. Watching his retreating back, I whispered to the empty room, "Next week, summer will almost be over." It used to be that whenever I wanted to go somewhere, Kian would drop everything to take me. Even if I forgot, he would always remember and plan everything perfectly. But now, I was the one who remembered, and he was the one who forgot. I dug my nails into my palms, the sharp pain a welcome distraction. Only fourteen days left. I could just watch the sunrise somewhere else. After Kian left, I got up for breakfast. The photo wall in the living room was a punch to the gut. It was covered with pictures from the past five years—all the places we'd traveled, all the cities we'd flown to together. Five years. Thousands of photos. I had carefully selected a hundred of our best moments to display. There was one from our first time co-piloting the Boeing 787, both of us in our white uniforms, secretly treating them like matching couple's outfits. There was another of our first kiss, a passionate embrace under the New Year's Eve fireworks. ... A hundred photos, each with a special memory, each a testament to the life we had chased together. When Kian first saw the wall, he had smiled and said, "A hundred photos for a hundred years of our love, unchanging and everlasting." But now, his love had changed, and these photos no longer belonged on this wall. My hands trembled as I began to tear them down, one by one, ripping our "eternity" to shreds. From now on, we would go our separate ways.
A wave of exhaustion washed over me. I leaned back against the sofa and opened Instagram on my phone. The first post in my feed was from Cora. [The sunrise is beautiful, but not as beautiful as having someone who comes whenever I call.] It was a nine-photo collage of the glorious Green Lake sunrise. In the center photo, two hands—one large, one small—formed a heart against the rising sun. I knew that large, tan, bony hand. It was Kian's. My vision blurred. I was about to close the app when a notification from Snapchat popped up. A private snap from Cora. My finger hovered for a second before I tapped it open. The photo was a close-up of a rumpled bedsheet. The caption read: "Be gentle, it hurts..." It was accompanied by the sound of a man's heavy breathing. A jolt went through me, and I dropped my phone as if it were on fire. I couldn't believe Cora would send me something like that. And I couldn't believe that bastard would go from watching the sunrise with his ex to getting a hotel room with her! If Kian was going to give his time and love to Cora, then I was taking back every last drop of love I had ever given him. I flung open my closet, my eyes stinging as I looked at all the gifts I'd bought for Kian over the years. Every Christmas, I would get him a custom pair of Bose noise-canceling headphones engraved with our flight records, a way to be with him on every flight. Every Valentine's Day, I'd hunt down a limited-edition pilot's watch for him, a way to forever mark the time we spent together. ... Whenever I gave him these gifts, he would accept them with a huge smile and kiss me reverently. "I'm the luckiest man alive to have a girlfriend like you. I'll treasure everything you give me, baby." But now, all the things he promised to treasure were going in the trash. I stuffed everything into garbage bags and, along with the photos, dumped them in the recycling bin downstairs. In the days that remained, I would slowly erase every memory of our love. Darkness fell. I checked the time. 9:40 PM. Kian wasn't back yet. I had just washed up and was about to head to bed when I heard the lock turn. Kian walked in, a faint, unfamiliar perfume clinging to him. He took off his jacket and immediately noticed the bare wall. "Jules, where are the pictures?" My fingers curled into fists. "They fell down," I said, my voice tight. "I put them away." Without another word, I turned and went into the bedroom. Kian looked stunned for a moment, sensing my mood was off. He followed me. "Why didn't you hang them back up?" I saw the faint lipstick marks on the inside of his collar and looked away. "The nails are loose. They won't hang right anymore." He didn't catch my double meaning. He just looked relieved. "Well, when I have some time, we'll hang them up again together." He then disappeared into the bathroom. As the sound of the shower started, I muttered to myself. "You can rehang pictures, but you can't fix a broken relationship." That night, we lay side by side, worlds apart. The next morning, I went to the office with my promotion application. As I entered the building, an announcement came over the intercom. "All 787 crew members, please report to the conference hall. Our new lead flight attendant will be joining us today." I frowned. The 787 route was getting a new lead? I quickened my pace toward the conference hall. As I neared the entrance, I could see Kian on stage in his white captain's uniform, looking handsome and distinguished next to a few managers. Below the stage, a group of flight attendants stood in perfect formation. Then, the head manager stepped forward and called Cora up from the crowd. "Please join me in welcoming Cora Reed as the new lead flight attendant for our 787 route." The hall erupted in applause. I stood frozen in a corner, invisible in the crowd. I never imagined the new lead would be Cora. Cora walked gracefully to Kian's side, looped her arm through his, and smiled at the audience. "The first time Kian was promoted to captain, I was his dedicated lead flight attendant. Now, five years later, here I am again. It must be fate."
Cora's words were met with even louder applause. They looked at each other and smiled, looking every bit the happy couple. I quietly averted my stinging eyes and slipped out of the conference hall. It didn't matter. In thirteen days, I would be gone. Whether they rekindled their old flame or started fresh, it had nothing to do with me. I had made my decision to let go, and I would leave without a scene. That afternoon, after submitting my promotion application to Director Stevens, I went back to my desk. Since I was transferring to a new airport, I needed to clear out all my personal belongings. As I was packing, I overheard a couple of colleagues gossiping nearby. "I remember when Cora and Kian were together, he gave her his first kiss and his first time. I can't believe he's still so hung up on her after all these years." "I know, right? Cora was the one who turned him from a boy into a man. She took him to see the Northern Lights in Alaska and then broke up with him. For most people, the aurora is romantic. For them, it was a breakup." "No wonder he could never get over his first love and never dated anyone else. Maybe I should take my boyfriend to see the Northern Lights if I want to break up with him!" Their voices faded as they walked away, but my heart felt heavier with each beat. So that's why Kian was at her beck and call. She was his unforgettable first love. I took a deep breath and continued clearing my desk. I was about to call a car home when Liv from the cabin crew spotted me. "Jules! The entire 787 crew is throwing a welcome dinner for Cora tonight. Come with us!" Before I could refuse, Liv had already pulled me into her car. ... The Waterfront Grille, an upscale seafood restaurant. As I arrived, I overheard two colleagues walking ahead of me toward the private room. "It's amazing that Kian and Cora could reunite after all this time. I remember when the company sent Cora to Dubai for training, Kian almost gave up his pilot career to go with her. If it weren't for the senior management desperately trying to stop him, his career would've been over." "Yeah, it's really something. Now that Cora's back, I bet there's nothing standing in their way!" Their words felt like a knife twisting in my gut. I felt so pathetic. For five years, I thought Kian had only done those grand romantic gestures for me. The truth was, long before me, he had already done them all for Cora. Every romantic moment in my relationship with Kian was probably just something Cora had taught him. The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth. I waited until they had entered the private room before I slowly pushed the door open. Inside, colleagues were scattered around, all gathered around Kian and Cora. Cora saw me and flashed her professional flight-attendant smile, walking over. "Hi, I'm Cora. Your senior." Her words were a clear double entendre, and my answering smile felt forced. She had sent me those provocative private messages, yet here she was, pretending we'd never met. How ridiculous. I gave her a curt nod and found a seat in a quiet corner. I listened as everyone continued to fawn over Cora. Kian's attention was entirely on her; he didn't even glance my way once. I had no desire to stay. I made up a quick excuse and said I had to leave early. But just as I stepped out of the room, I heard Cora's voice behind me. "Kian, I don't think your co-pilot likes me very much. She left without even eating!" Kian didn't say anything, but I heard the voices of other crew members. "Don't worry about her. She's been secretly in love with Kian for years, that's why she's been his co-pilot for five years. She's probably just jealous seeing you two looking so good together." A murmur of agreement went through the room before Cora stepped in. "Don't say that. We're all colleagues here." Hearing their conversation, I couldn't help but smile wryly. The entire crew thought Kian and Cora were the perfect match. And me, his actual girlfriend, was just some pathetic girl pining after a man she couldn't have. But it didn't matter. In a few more days, I would be gone for good. Our relationship was never public anyway. My departure would be clean. I had just left the restaurant when Kian caught up to me. He pulled me into a secluded corner, his voice low and sharp. "Jules, you shouldn't have just left like that. Cora is a new colleague. You made things very awkward for her." Awkward? It was a welcome party for his ex-girlfriend. Why couldn't I leave early? I stared at him, my voice quiet but firm. "Is she just a new colleague, Kian? Or is she your ex-girlfriend?"
Seeing my silence, Kian's frustration seemed to melt away. He pulled me into his arms, a hint of panic in his voice. "Jules, I'm sorry. Cora and I have a past, but that's all it is—the past. That's why I didn't think it was important to mention. You're my girlfriend now, and you're the only one I want to marry." I felt the warmth of his body and looked up into his anxious eyes. He did look like he was completely devoted to me right now. In the five years we'd been together, Kian had never mentioned Cora, nor had he ever been linked to any other woman. I knew everyone has a past. It didn't matter that someone else used to live in Kian's heart, as long as he had cleared it out for me now. But Cora's Instagram told a different story. It was clear to me that his heart wasn't clear at all. Just as the tension hung thick in the air, Cora's voice cut through the silence from around the corner. "Kian!" At the sound of her voice, Kian's arms around me instantly loosened, and he took a quick step back. Seeing his nervous reaction, my heart twisted. After five years, I, his current girlfriend, still couldn't compare to his ex. I took a few steps back myself. "You should go. Don't keep her waiting." Without waiting for his response, I turned and walked away. The night sky was starless, and the dim streetlights stretched my shadow into a long, lonely figure. I walked aimlessly along the waterfront, my mind replaying images of Kian and Cora together. I thought I had prepared myself for this, that I should be used to it by now. But walking alone in the dark, I realized my heart still ached. I walked for over three hours, finally reaching home around one in the morning. I kicked off my heels and my bare feet hit the wooden floor. I only then noticed the blisters on my heels, some of which had broken and were bleeding. I cleaned the wounds with antiseptic and covered them with bandages before collapsing onto the sofa. I opened my phone, and another new Instagram post from Cora was at the top of my feed. "Kian is the definition of boyfriend material. So protective." The photo was taken in a dimly lit bar. Cora, in a sexy cocktail dress, was sitting on Kian's shoulders, a tipsy smile on her face. Love is measured by the little differences in how you're treated. With Kian, the difference between the ex and the current girlfriend was staggering. I remembered a year ago, we were at Disneyland watching the fireworks. I saw a girl riding on her boyfriend's shoulders, taking pictures, and I wanted to try it too. But Kian had shot me down. "Jules, we're too old for that. It's not very classy." Yet here he was, indulging his ex's "childish" whim, letting her ride on his shoulders without a second thought. Clearly, the love he gave me would always be less than the love he gave Cora. I took a shaky breath, trying to swallow the bitterness that filled my throat. Just a few more days. I was leaving Kian. There was no need for self-pity. I pushed through the pain and continued packing my things. My side of the closet was already looking bare. The only things left that we shared were a few matching sweatshirts, still with the tags on. Since we both wore uniforms for work, we never had a chance to wear them. Kian had never worn his even once. Now that Cora was back and I was leaving, there was no reason to keep them. I found a bag, stuffed the sweatshirts inside, and dropped them in the donation bin. Then, I started packing the things I would take with me. I had just zipped up my suitcase, filled with my most-worn clothes, when Kian came home. He saw the suitcase and his eyes widened. "What are you doing?" I didn't even look at him. "Packing my flight bag." He seemed to relax, probably remembering we had a flight together the next afternoon and I always packed ahead. He didn't question it further. "Let me help." He reached over and fastened the locks on the suitcase. I watched him, a storm of emotions brewing inside me. If he had just paid a little more attention, he would have seen that the suitcase wasn't filled with my flight uniform, but with everything I owned. The air grew heavy. Kian must have sensed my low mood because he tried to explain. "Cora was the guest of honor at the dinner tonight, so I couldn't find the right moment to tell everyone about us. But next time, I promise, I'll let everyone know we're together." I didn't respond. Kian had made countless "next time" promises. I had gotten my hopes up time and time again, only to be let down. Now, there would be no more "next times" for us. Once I was gone, it wouldn't matter whether our relationship was public or not. Seeing my silence, Kian tried a different approach. "After we land tomorrow, how about I take you to see the Northern Lights in Alaska? I know you've always wanted to go." I froze. I had asked to see the Northern Lights so many times before, but he always had an excuse. Now that Cora was back, he was suddenly offering to take me. I remembered what my colleagues had said, and a bitter smile touched my lips. When the ex comes back, the current girlfriend always loses. I looked at Kian, at the man I had loved for five whole years, and calmly nodded. "Okay. Let's go see the Northern Lights." The aurora had witnessed his breakup with Cora. That was fine. Soon, it would witness our breakup too.
The next morning, I put on some light makeup and headed to the airport. Today was my last international flight with Ascend Air, and Cora's first time as the lead flight attendant on the Boeing 787. Flying with her on the same plane, I couldn't afford to make a single mistake. In the crew briefing room, I changed into my flight uniform. As I was adjusting the three stripes on my co-pilot epaulets, Cora walked in, her heels clicking on the floor. She looked me up and down, her eyes full of meaning. "Poor Jules. You've been with Kian for five years, and he still won't even acknowledge you in public. I guess in his heart, you'll always be the girl he has to hide." My hands paused. I couldn't believe she knew about us. My silence only made her smile widen. "Thanks for taking care of Kian for me these past five years. Keeping him company at work during the day, and warming his bed at night." "But you know, all those tricks he does in bed? I taught him those. We spent a whole weekend trying out every technique in Cosmo." "A man never forgets his first love. Kian will never forget me, especially in bed. Now that I'm back, you should probably just step aside gracefully. It'll be more dignified for all three of us." Her words hit me like a series of punches, each one landing squarely in my gut. All those intimate moments that I had cherished now felt like a deep humiliation. I bit my lip so hard I could taste blood. "You should probably be saying this to Kian." I didn't need any "dignity" from her. I had already planned my exit. In ten days, I would be gone, with my dignity intact. Cora's face fell, clearly not expecting my calm response. "Juliana, is there any point in clinging to a man who doesn't love you? You know his heart belongs to me. You were just a fling." "The gifts he gave you? They were my hand-me-downs. The man himself? My leftovers. He and I are the only ones who are truly compatible." Cora was probably hoping for a breakdown, a dramatic scene. But she was going to be disappointed. Ever since I realized Kian's heart was never fully mine, my love for him had been a wilting rose. There was nothing that could stop it from fading away. "It's great that you two are getting back together. I wish you all the best." I gave her one last, cool glance and walked out of the room. The sun was shining brightly outside. It was a perfect day for flying. And my future would be even brighter than this sun. After the pre-flight briefing, I did my usual walk-around inspection before boarding the plane. In the cockpit, Kian and I were ready. We contacted the tower. "Seattle Tower, this is Ascend Air 787." A calm, steady voice came back through the radio. "Ascend 787, Seattle Tower, go ahead." Kian's voice was professional and cool. "Ascend 787, ready for takeoff, request clearance." A crackle of static, and then a green light on the screen. "Ascend 787, you are cleared for takeoff. Have a safe flight. Goodbye." After signing off, Kian placed one hand on the throttle and the other on the control yoke, his focus absolute. I couldn't help but glance at him. This was the last time I would be his co-pilot, the last time I would sit in this right-hand seat. Soon, I would be the one with my hand on the primary controls. Guiding every flight to a safe landing. The plane climbed to 30,000 feet, and Kian switched on the autopilot. We went to do a cabin check together and ran right into Cora in the galley. "Kian," she cooed. Just then, the plane hit a patch of severe turbulence. A hard-shell suitcase tumbled out of an overhead bin! "Look out!" Kian instinctively pulled Cora aside, shielding her with his body. I didn't have time to react. The suitcase slammed into my shoulder, and the force of the impact sent me sprawling to the floor. A flight attendant rushed to my side. "First Officer Vance, are you okay?" I looked at Kian, still holding Cora tightly, then looked away. "I'm fine. Go reassure the passengers. This is just normal turbulence, tell them not to panic." After the flight attendant made the announcement, I looked up at the open overhead bin. "This latch wasn't secured. Whose responsibility was that?" Cora looked flustered. "Sorry, I was getting something out earlier. I must not have closed it all the way." I rolled my aching shoulder, my gaze turning serious. "That's careless. If that had hit a passenger, could you have taken responsibility for it?" Before she could answer, Kian jumped in, his brow furrowed. "Let's not get worked up over what-ifs. Cora didn't do it on purpose." I was stunned. Kian, who was known for his strict adherence to protocol, was defending her. I opened my mouth to argue, but then just let out a bitter laugh and said nothing. Back in the cockpit, the silence was deafening. Kian, sensing my mood, lowered his voice to explain. "Cora was closer to me. My instinct was just to protect her. Don't overthink it." I looked at him, my voice flat. "It doesn't matter. This is my last time flying this 787 with you anyway."
Kian’s expression froze. "Are you still mad about what happened?" I just shook my head. "No." But he clearly thought I was upset about Cora becoming the lead flight attendant. "Cora's been away for five years, so she's a bit rusty. You shouldn't be so hard on her." His words felt like a punch to the gut. Cora was the one who had been negligent. I was the one who got hurt. And yet, he was blaming me for being too harsh. What a joke. What a pathetic ending to this final flight together. I didn't say another word. I had already decided to leave. There was no point in explaining anything to Kian. After a 13-hour flight, we landed smoothly at San Francisco International Airport. We spent the night at an airport hotel, and the next day, as promised, Kian took me to see the Northern Lights in Alaska. Except, my excitement vanished when I saw Cora and the rest of the crew were coming along too. Kian noticed my disappointment. "It's more fun with a group," he said softly. "And safer to stick together in a foreign country." I pressed my lips together. "Whatever you think is best." At the aurora viewing point in Fairbanks, the sky was a canvas of dancing, vibrant colors. As everyone gasped in awe, I heard Cora's voice drift over to me. "Kian, the first time we saw the Northern Lights, things ended badly between us. You swore you would bring me back to see them again. Thank you for always remembering." I turned to see Cora and Kian standing close together, their eyes filled with a shared history. "I never forget a promise I've made to you." Hearing Kian's reply to her, my heart, which I thought had turned to stone, suddenly ached with a sharp, unexpected pain. So, all along, the person he had wanted to bring here was Cora. I was just an afterthought, someone he brought along for the ride. Under the ethereal glow of the aurora, I turned and walked away. Snow began to fall, dusting my hair and clothes, but I barely felt the cold. I just kept walking, numb. I don't know how long I walked. It felt like I was reliving the entire 1,867 days of our relationship all over again. ... Two days later, we were back in Seattle. The first thing I did after we landed was go straight to the operations director's office. I placed my employee ID card on his desk. "My final flight is complete. Awaiting further instructions, sir." Director Stevens nodded, a look of satisfaction on his face. He took my ID, placed it in a file, and then handed me a brand new one, along with a velvet box containing a captain's epaulets with four stripes. "From this moment on, you are no longer the co-pilot of the 787. You are the captain of the new Aspen route." "Congratulations, Jules. You are officially Ascend Air's first female captain, and the first captain of this new route."
I went home from the airport. I checked the calendar on my phone. December 28th. Only three days left until I was gone for good. I placed my new captain's uniform, epaulets, and ID card in my suitcase. A wave of relief washed over me. After a long bath, I was about to get into bed. Just then, Kian rushed home. He looked panicked, storming over to my bedside. "Jules, I just saw the flight schedule. Why isn't your name listed as my co-pilot for tomorrow's flight?" I gave him the excuse I had prepared. "I haven't been feeling well lately, so I took a few days off." I had asked Director Stevens to keep my transfer a secret, and I certainly wasn't going to tell Kian myself. I would never again fly the route I had flown with him for five years. I would never again come back to this place. There was no need for everyone to know I was leaving. Hearing my explanation, Kian's tense shoulders relaxed. "Oh, thank God. I thought for a second you didn't want to be my co-pilot anymore." He then dropped to one knee by the bed and grabbed my hand. "We promised we'd fly together for the rest of our lives. We have to keep that promise. Jules, you can't lie to me..." I looked at the sincerity in his eyes and felt a sharp sting of pain. He told me not to lie to him, yet he had lied to me over and over again. If he loved me, why did he hide the fact that he was still involved with his ex? I didn't understand. I didn't understand how he could be such a good actor. I closed my eyes, my lashes trembling. "Okay." It was the first time I had ever lied to Kian. And it would be the last. Kian finally seemed at ease. He leaned in to kiss my forehead, but I quickly turned away. His heart seemed to clench again. He realized that somewhere along the line, his Jules had stopped letting him get close. "Jules, when I get back from this flight, it'll be New Year's Day. How about we go to New York to celebrate?" I shook my head. "I don't want to go." "Then what about our cabin at Lake Tahoe? We can see the stars from there. I promise, no one will bother us this time," Kian suggested, trying again. But I just shook my head again. For five years, to keep our relationship a secret, Kian would always take me to some faraway place for New Year's. This year, I didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted to quietly wait for my new life to begin. But seeing the frown on Kian's face, I changed my mind. "On New Year's Eve, let's go to Kerry Park and take some pictures." After all, on New Year's Day, I would be leaving this city for good. I wanted a few pictures to remember it by. Kian looked surprised. "Why there? Wouldn't New York be a better backdrop?" I saw the reluctance in his eyes, and a lump formed in my throat. "Don't worry, you'll just be the photographer. I'll be the only one in the pictures." I had no intention of being in any photos with him. I wouldn't be taking a single picture of him with me when I left. Kian's expression flickered. "After the New Year, at the company's annual awards ceremony, I'll announce our relationship. I promise. Just wait a little longer." I closed my eyes again, not answering. "You should go take a shower. It's getting late." As I listened to the water running in the bathroom, my heart felt heavy. Wait a little longer? I had been waiting for five years since we started dating. I wasn't going to wait anymore. Kian Hayes, I will never wait for you again. ... December 31st. One day left. I put on some nice makeup and changed into a red silk dress, with a red cashmere cape over it. It was a departure from my usual sharp, professional look, giving me a softer, more gentle appearance. I waited for Kian at the top of Kerry Park. I waited from morning till afternoon, from afternoon till evening, but he never showed up. I stared at my phone, which had no new messages. After a ten-second debate, I called him. The phone rang until the very last second before he picked up. His voice was low and gravelly. "Jules, I'm at the airport dealing with something urgent. I'll come find you later..." Before he finished, the line went dead. My heart sank. I instinctively opened Instagram, and saw Cora's new post. [Unlocking new positions with Kian. Perfect chemistry! ?] The picture was of her in a car, holding a glass of wine, her eyes hazy. On the seat next to her was an open box of condoms. My mind went blank for a second, and then I started to laugh. I laughed so hard I had to clutch my chest, gasping for air. Kian, you liar. How many times have you lied to me?!
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