I spent five years working day and night to pay off my boyfriend's debt. He gave his mistress a million to buy a dress. I gritted my teeth and grabbed the last box of marked-down shrimp. Next to me, a girl dripping in designer labels was picking through the imported seafood. She glanced at me, then dropped a blue lobster straight into my cart. "It's New Year's Eve. Treat yourself." She smiled like it was nothing. "Everything in your cart tonight, I'm paying." I stared at the five-figure price tag. I waved my hands and tried to refuse. She pulled out a black card without blinking. "Don't worry about it. My man gives me way too much to spend. He actually gets mad when I don't use it." I forced a laugh. "He sounds... really generous." "That's an understatement. I can't spend it fast enough." She tilted her head. "You know what's funny though? His girlfriend's been killing herself for years. Back-breaking temp jobs, double shifts, all to pay off some debt that doesn't even exist." "I told him I wanted a home-cooked New Year's Eve dinner. He ditched her right then and there to come cook for me." I froze. My boyfriend was in debt too. Before the coincidence could sink in, my phone buzzed. A text from Caleb: "Tessa, the company scheduled me for a holiday shift. Triple pay." "Buy yourself something nice. Be good and wait for me. I'll be home tomorrow."
A sharp ringing filled my ears. Nothing else. The world tilted. Everything blurred. When I didn't reply, Caleb called. His voice was patient. Gentle. "Tessa, why aren't you saying anything?" That sweet, doting tone. I opened my mouth. "Can you come home today? Forget the money. We don't need it." He paused. Then he let out a low laugh. "Missing me already? Once we pay off the debt, we'll be together every single day." Someone on his end told him to get back to work. He hung up in a hurry. I stared at the hundred dollars he'd just transferred. Next to me, the girl let out a dramatic sigh. "He just sent me another million. Told me to buy something sexy to wear tonight." "But even the most expensive piece wouldn't cost more than a hundred grand. I'll use the rest to get you a few outfits." Before I could say a word, Seraphina grabbed my arm. She paid for everything at the supermarket, then dragged me into a luxury boutique. I looked at the price tags. A string of zeroes. Suddenly, it all felt like a joke. After college, Caleb's startup had failed. He'd racked up millions in debt. Then came the severe depression. I worked multiple jobs every day. All I wanted was to see a little spark come back to his eyes. Five years. I scraped and saved. I couldn't count how many meals were just bread and tap water. And now the coat draped over my shoulders cost more than two hundred thousand dollars. The sting hit the back of my nose. I couldn't breathe. Seraphina chattered on, oblivious. "You know what? He made his girlfriend get three abortions. All for me." Something exploded in my head. My hand went to my stomach without thinking. I'd lost three babies too. The first time, I was racing to make a delivery on time. I gunned the scooter through a yellow light. A luxury SUV clipped me and sent me skidding across the asphalt. The second time, I needed the seventy dollars from a sign-spinning shift. I stood in a thunderstorm for two hours, holding up an ad board on the side of the highway, soaked to the bone. The third time, Caleb held me and cried. He said we couldn't afford to raise a child. He took me to some cheap clinic and bought the pills himself. For so many nights after, he'd jolt awake from nightmares. He'd hold me and whisper he was sorry. He said, "Tessa, when I get back on my feet, I'll give you a real home. I promise." Seraphina didn't notice my face going white. She kept talking. "Oh, and when that idiot girlfriend rear-ended the SUV, she was so scared she couldn't even speak." "Babe was sitting in the back seat the whole time, video-calling me to watch." "And that sign-spinning job? It was supposed to pay seven hundred. He pulled strings to cut it down to seventy." I looked at the pride on her face. I asked her, "Doesn't it bother you that he has a girlfriend?" Seraphina stared at me like I was the crazy one. "His love, his money, his bed. All mine." "Sweetie, other than the word 'girlfriend,' what does she even have?"
I don't know how I made it home. Our apartment was barely a hundred square feet. We'd made it cozy and warm, just the two of us. Back then, Caleb swore it would always be that way. Just us. Forever. I lived inside that beautiful lie for years. Happy. So happy I forgot how hard life actually was. Maybe it was fate. I stumbled across Seraphina's social media account. She was livestreaming. The camera was pointed at a man's back. I'd know that silhouette anywhere. Caleb pulled off the T-shirt he'd worn so many times it was practically falling apart. He changed into a silk loungewear set. The comments flooded in: "Does a man like this actually exist? Rich, gentle, AND faithful?" "He's cooking for her! You can tell he adores her." "You guys don't know, Seraphina has a sensitive stomach, so he went and learned recipes from a private chef just for her." Every word cut into me. Five years. I hadn't had a proper meal in five years, all to help Caleb pay off his debt. Outside the window, the roar of the New Year's countdown swelled louder and louder. Fireworks cracked open the sky. Cheering swallowed the whole neighborhood. On screen, Caleb set down the knife and walked toward the camera. The screen went black. The sound of kissing, loud and shameless. Seraphina ended the stream. But she didn't forget to leave her followers a parting gift: "He wanted it. He got it." The photo underneath showed a man's hand gripping her, knuckles sharp, possessive. The whole city was celebrating. Every window glowed warm. I scrolled through every single post on Seraphina's account. Like I was punishing myself. In all her showing off, the details I'd missed came into focus one by one, filling in every gap. The day Caleb gave me a pair of two-dollar crystal hair clips, he'd just bought Seraphina a diamond necklace worth millions. The day he brought home a bubble tea to celebrate paying off half the debt, he'd also wired Seraphina enough to buy herself a Chanel bag. Every time I needed him. Every time I worried about him. He was in the villa he'd bought for Seraphina, tangled up with her, getting off on the thrill of cheating. Even my lucky penny, the one I'd held onto since I was a little girl, the only thing my mother left me, ended up clipped to his mistress's purse. My hands and feet went cold. I curled up on the wooden plank bed. ... Caleb came back three days later. He'd changed back into his ragged clothes. He hugged me the way he always did. Warm. Eager. My stomach flipped. I shoved him off and threw up everywhere. The smile on his face collapsed into panic. His eyes went red. A second later, tears spilled over. "Tessa, what's wrong? You're scaring me..." There was nothing in my stomach. By the end I was heaving up bile. He looked at me, full of concern. "Have you been skipping meals again?" "A coworker hooked me up with extra shifts. That's why I was gone a couple days. How did you let yourself get this bad?" I listened to the lies rolling off his tongue. I almost wanted to laugh. I did laugh. But halfway through, I couldn't even see his face anymore.
I got sick. A hundred and two degrees. In and out of consciousness, all I could see was Caleb. From the day we started dating, he'd set his profile picture to a photo of me on every platform, just so I'd feel safe. He quit smoking after ten years because I couldn't stand the smoke. He remembered everything I liked. He even tracked my period better than I did. This was the man who would always shield me first without thinking. How could he cheat? Why would he cheat? My body burned, then froze, then burned again. I could feel Caleb moving around me, never stopping. A fresh towel on my forehead every thirty minutes. A cotton swab on my lips every fifteen. When I finally opened my eyes, he looked the same as every other time I'd been sick. Red-rimmed eyes. Aching with worry. I lifted my hand and pressed it against his cheek. For the first time, he felt so far away. "Tessa, you're finally awake. I was so worried." "I made you some soup. Come on, let me help you sit up." I opened my mouth. Tears pooled in my eyes. I swallowed it down. Forced a smile. "It's good." He smiled when he heard that. His eyes lit up. Just like when he was eighteen. I looked at the band-aids on his fingers. My heart softened again. Five years together. It's not something you just walk away from. He held me, rambling about how scared he'd been these past three days. For the first time, I didn't comfort him. I just asked quietly, "How much do we still owe?" Caleb blinked. Then answered like it was nothing. "A lot." I looked at him. "Caleb, aren't you tired?" He tucked the blanket around me and smiled. "Tired of what? I've been the one resting all these years, taking my meds, not doing any real work." "It's you I worry about. You barely get any sleep." There was a moment, just a flash, where I wanted to ask him the real question. Your family is worth billions. Why are you pretending to be poor? Living in a lie every single day. Doesn't that exhaust you? But I couldn't say it. I realized, terrified, that I didn't have the courage to face the truth either. "Tessa, I've been off work for days because of you. My boss isn't happy." "Tomorrow I need to go back. Just stay home and rest, okay? I'll come straight back after my shift." He said this while his fingers were still hovering over his phone screen. I gripped the edge of the blanket. My voice came out shaking. "Stay a few more days. Please. Just a few more days with me." He sat there, tilting his head, watching me. Then he said, "Okay." When everything slowed down, my mind got clearer. All the things I didn't want to think about came crashing in at once. These past years, I was out the door before sunrise and home long after dark. Caleb had his own endless overtime and night shifts. When I added it up, we'd barely spent any time together at all. Caleb wrapped his arms around me. He kissed behind my ear. Down my neck. But once a heart cracks, nothing fills it back up. All I could think about was that girl. Bright-eyed, sheltered, spoiled by him. Did he hold her like this too? Was he this tender with her? The nausea hit me like a wall. I threw up all over the floor. Caleb didn't notice anything was wrong. He just held my hair back, full of worry. But if he worried so much about me, why was he being tender with someone else?
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