On our fifth wedding anniversary, my husband gave me a certificate that reads "Devil of the Year." Sarah Woods, one of Tristan's students, starts clapping and grinning like this is the funniest thing ever. "Wow, Mrs. Blake hasn't threatened to break up or thrown a fit in almost two months. Definitely deserves a reward!" Everyone laughs. Everyone except me. Sarah's smile turns smug. "Oops, my bad, Olivia. The print shop messed up the wording." Tristan Blake frowns and drops his voice to that impatient tone I know too well. "Come on, it's just a joke. You're a grown woman. Do you really need to make a big deal out of some kid's prank?" I push the pregnancy test deeper into my purse. That was supposed to be my gift for Tristan, but now it doesn't seem worth giving him. *** I stare at Tristan in disbelief. "I'm making a big deal?" His other students jump in, laughing and teasing. "Mrs. Blake, seriously, can't you take a joke?" "Sarah's just like that, she doesn't mean anything by it. She does stuff like this all the time. Remember last month at that escape room? She thought some random actor was Tris and wouldn't let go of him. When she figured out it wasn't him, she cried for like three hours straight, and Tris had to spend the whole night calming her down!" Sarah's face goes red. "Oh my god, stop! You're just gonna make Olivia paranoid again!" Escape room? Last month, Tristan told me he was on a work break, but when I had an appendicitis attack in the middle of the night and needed him to drive me to the hospital, he said he was too busy with work. Turns out he was busy comforting his student all night instead. Tristan won't meet my eyes, but I don't see any guilt or apology there. "You guys know how Olivia is. She overthinks everything." Overthinks everything. I've heard that line so many times I could recite it in my sleep. Just last week, he ditched me on the street to run and buy Sarah tampons. For her birthday, this man who has zero patience for anything asked me how to knit a scarf, then stayed up half the night working on it without complaining once. When I suggested he could just buy one, he looked at his phone and smiled at her messages with a fond expression. "It's not the same if I don't make it myself." When I called him out on it, he just frowned at me. "Olivia, seriously, how dirty is your mind? You're really gonna lose it over a scarf? Sarah and I are just teacher and student. There's nothing going on." So that's why his laptop has 1000 photos, and 999 of them are Sarah. In five years together, we have exactly one photo of us, and that's on our marriage license. Even today, what was supposed to be our romantic anniversary dinner turned into a student party because Sarah said it would be more fun with everyone there. Tristan notices I'm not smiling and snaps at her. "Alright, Sarah, just get the real gift I got for Olivia." Sarah pouts like a sulky kid and reluctantly starts digging through her bag. Then she suddenly gasps and holds up her hand, showing off this massive diamond on her ring finger. "Mrs. Blake, when I was getting your gift, I saw this ring and thought it was gorgeous, so I tried it on. You're not mad, are you?" Tristan's voice immediately goes soft. "Olivia's not that petty." Sarah gives a sly little smile. "Heh, Tris, it fits perfectly. You didn't secretly measure my finger while I was napping on your bed, did you?" The room goes dead silent. The other students glance at each other and then look at me. One of them jumps in quickly. "Wait, Mrs. Blake, it's not what it sounds like! Sarah had really bad low blood sugar and almost passed out, so Mr. Blake made an exception and let her rest on the office bed for like ten minutes!" Tristan looks panicked. "Honey, it was only ten minutes, and I stayed in my office the whole time. I didn't even go in there." I dig my nails into my palm. My throat tightens so much I can't get a single word out. Just ten minutes. Is it really worth making a fuss over? When I had stomach cramps so bad I couldn't stand up straight, I asked if I could rest on Tristan's bed. He didn't even look up. His voice was flat. "No." I was sweating from the pain. "Just ten minutes." He'd rather have me sit on a cold bench than let anyone see me lying on his bed. "You're family. It would look bad if you were lying there. Just tough it out for a bit." Same ten minutes. He could break the rules for Sarah's low blood sugar, but all I got was a casual "tough it out." My eyes start burning. "Tristan, don't you have anything you want to explain to me?"
Tristan looks exasperated and pulls me aside, rubbing between his eyebrows. "Liv, can we talk about this at home? You're embarrassing me in front of everyone." He says he'll handle it and turns to Sarah with a stern voice. "Sarah, you really crossed a line today. Apologize to Olivia and we can move on." "Why should I apologize to her? She's just some old woman who doesn't even deserve you!" Sarah bites her lip like she's the victim here. Tristan's expression darkens immediately. "Sarah, who said you could talk about her like that? That's my wife! Apologize. Now." "Tris..." Sarah's eyes fill with tears instantly, and she looks at me like she'd rather be anywhere else. "Sorry, Mrs. Blake. Happy now?" Tristan sighs and ruffles her hair like she's a kid who just needs a little patience. "Alright, Sarah, give the ring back to Olivia." But Sarah holds her hand out to Tristan instead and pretends to struggle with it and the ring doesn't budge an inch. "Tris, look, it's really stuck. I can't get it off. Doesn't that mean it's meant for me?" Sarah shoots me this challenging look. Tristan frowns, and I've had enough. "Then call the fire department and have them cut it off!" Sarah's eyes instantly fill with tears, and she turns to Tristan for help. "Oh no, Tris, your wife's about to lose it. I can't get the ring off, and now she's probably never gonna let me come over to your place again, right?" Tristan's patience snaps. "Liv, Sarah already apologized to you. What more do you want? It's just a ring. Does it really matter that much?" Everyone's acting like I'm being unreasonable, but I just want back what's mine. Is that so wrong? Tristan pushes my cake over to Sarah too, like he's punishing me. "We're married for years. You don't care about this stuff. Sarah can use this cake for her birthday. Tomorrow, I'll take Sarah to a jeweler and get the ring off for you." He turns to Sarah with a warm smile. "Sarah, come here and make a wish." He waves her over, and they squeeze together. Sarah looks up at him with these adoring, starry eyes. "Tris, why are you so good to me? How am I ever gonna repay you?" "Alright, alright. Just study hard and don't cause me trouble. That's all I need." The favoritism and affection in Tristan's eyes stabs right through me. It feels like something is tearing me apart from the inside, making it hard to breathe. "Tristan, do you remember what you promised me when we got married?" I ask, my voice hoarse. Tristan frowns. Clearly, he's forgotten. Five years ago when we got married, he had nothing. We didn't have a wedding or a diamond ring. He cried and held me and made a promise. "Liv, give me five years. I swear I'll buy you the biggest, most beautiful diamond ring." Five years of marriage, and now that he can afford the best, he gives it to someone else. So what does that make me? I wipe away the tears burning in my eyes and look at Sarah. "You don't just take things that aren't yours. That's called theft. Take the ring off or this isn't over." Tears immediately well up in Sarah's eyes. "Olivia, I can't wear it for just one night? It's not like I don't want to take it off. I might be poor, but I have my dignity. You can't just call me a thief! "I promise, I'll cut off my finger if I have to, but I'll get you your ring back!" She grabs scissors and raises them like she's about to chop her hand off. "Enough!" Tristan snatches the scissors from her hand, and when he looks at me, his eyes are full of disappointment. "Enough. Why have you become so cruel? Sarah already said she'd return the ring tomorrow. Why do you have to keep pushing this?" I'm cruel? The words catch in my throat, choking me. My chest tightens painfully, like something inside me is giving way. I force the words out through clenched teeth. "Am I really the cruel one here, or is there something going on between you two that you don't want anyone to know about?" Tristan looks at me like I'm being completely unreasonable. "Olivia, look at yourself right now. You are imagining things, and you're acting insane! Apologize to Sarah right now!" He pulls Sarah close and murmurs something soft to her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. They look intimate, like I'm some stranger. His other students jump to Sarah's defense too. "Yeah, seriously, why are you picking on Sarah?" "Mrs. Blake, you're being so cold and dramatic. Always making mountains out of molehills." "You know what, that certificate was right. She really is a devil." To Tristan and all his students, I've always been the outsider. I stand up, fighting back tears. "I'm not apologizing." "Olivia, have you forgotten what happened last time?" Tristan narrows his eyes. That one sentence stops me cold at the door. I turn around slowly, staring at Tristan in disbelief. It was at another party just like this one. My dad brought his mistress to celebrate his birthday, like she belonged there, and I lost it. I grabbed a bottle and smashed it over her head until she bled. My dad demanded I get on my knees and apologize to her, but I refused. So right in front of me, he pulled the oxygen tube from my mom's nose. Every time I think about that day, I cry. I torture myself with the same question over and over. If I'd just apologized, would my mom still be alive? Tristan used to kiss away my tears when I told him that story. He'd hold me and say, "He's the one who cheated. He's the one who was wrong, not you. Never you." But now he's using that scar, the deepest wound I have, to threaten me. All for Sarah. Tristan smiles like he's already won. "Liv, be good. Apologize to Sarah." I bend at the waist and bow. I bite my lip so hard I taste blood. "I'm sorry." I straighten up and look at Tristan. "Is that good enough?" Tristan hesitates for a second and glances at Sarah. Sarah's wearing a smug little victor's smile. "Whatever, I'm not petty like some people. I'll let it go." Tristan keeps trying to reassure me. "Liv, don't worry, I promise I'll get the ring back from her tomorrow and give it to you." I'm standing less than two feet from him at the doorway, but it feels like there's a century between us. I don't want that ring anymore. In the taxi, I break down sobbing. The driver glances at me in the rearview mirror. "Miss, it's pretty late for you to be out alone. Shouldn't your husband see you off and make sure you're safe?" I stare blankly out the window instead of answering. Sarah's leaning against Tristan, drunk and giggling. She's begging him to share an ice cream with her. They're eating it together, and then Sarah slowly leans in and kisses him. "Tris, this is the sweetest ice cream I've ever had." Tristan suddenly seems to sober up and pushes her away. "Sarah, I'm married." Sarah starts crying. "But do you even love her?"
Tristan goes quiet. After a long pause, I hear him say, "If it wasn't for the responsibility, I probably would've divorced her a long time ago." The dull ache in my chest turns into a sharp knife twisting inside me. I cover my mouth with my hand, sobbing so hard I can't breathe. "So this is what you call completely innocent?" Late that night, Tristan comes home with a cake in hand. He's humming a song under his breath, and I recognize it immediately. It's the same one Sarah posted about on Instagram yesterday. "Come on, babe, stop being mad, okay?" He softens his tone and gently rests his hand on my shoulder. "I just see Sarah as a kid, that's all. She's sensitive, and I was worried she might do something stupid, so I had to make you apologize to her. Look, I brought you your favorite chestnut cake, and tomorrow I'll get your ring back, I promise." When I was 18, this cake would've made me deliriously happy. I would've thrown myself into his arms thinking nothing in the world could taste sweeter. But now at twenty-eight, watching this man who once promised I'd be his only one, all I feel is cold dread seeping through me and freezing my heart solid. Fifteen minutes ago, Sarah made a post on Instagram. In the photo, she's clutching a man's hand and won't let go, with a cake sitting beside them. Her caption reads: I told him I was scared of the pain, and he got a matching tattoo with me. Then he bought my favorite chestnut cake to make me feel better. Is this not the most amazing teacher-student bond ever? The tattoo design shows two roses intertwined together, and it's right there on Tristan's arm. "Wanna explain that?" When Tristan realizes I'm staring at the tattoo, his face flushes red with anger, and he yanks his sleeve down hard. "Sarah was just messing around. Can you stop making such a big deal out of everything?" "I'm making a big deal?" His words slam into me like a sledgehammer crushing straight through my chest. Matching couple tattoos were my teenage fantasy. Tristan shot me down every single time. "Look, I'm a teacher. The last thing I need is them getting inked because they saw mine. Stop being so clingy and annoying." But when it's Sarah, suddenly it's nothing? So he's not scared of romance. He's not afraid of pain. He just doesn't care about me enough... "Sarah's right. Women get so emotional and throw fits over nothing. I'm staying at the campus for a few days, and you need to cool down and think about how you're acting." Tristan slams the door on his way out and tosses the cake in the trash like it's garbage. I cover my stomach with both hands as tears stream down my face and hit the floor. I pull out a divorce agreement from my drawer, one that's already been signed. Five years ago, Tristan knelt at my mom's grave and signed this paper. "Liv, if I ever treat you badly, you can leave me anytime you want." That passionate love from a young man five years ago has turned into nothing but empty air. During our cold war, Tristan suddenly shows up with Sarah and doesn't say a word before shoving me into the car. "It's Sarah's graduation ceremony. You're my wife, so you have to come when my student graduates." The first time he bothers to contact me is because of Sarah. He must feel a little guilty because he actually explains himself for once. "Sarah has sensitive skin, and she's scared of pain, so she hasn't had time to take it off yet. Don't worry. After the graduation ceremony, if she won't take it off herself, I'll take her to a jeweler to have it cut off." Whether she can actually get the ring off doesn't matter anymore. I don't need that ring back anyway. At school, the two of them stand together on stage looking like the perfect couple. Tristan, who never shows emotion, actually tears up. "Sarah, don't cry. I wrote you a recommendation letter, so nobody's gonna mess with you when you get there." "Northbridge gets cold, so remember to pack extra clothes. And when you leave here, you're by yourself. I won't be there to fix your problems or cover for you. You're responsible for yourself now. Understood?" Sarah's crying too, tears running down her face. The two of them look so reluctant to say goodbye, like a couple being torn apart. I can't watch this anymore. As I turn to leave, someone sticks their foot out and trips me. I crash to the ground hard. "Ahh!" A sharp stiletto heel grinds into my wrist, and a group of teenagers with dyed hair grab my hair and yank my head back. "You old hag, who said you could mess with Sarah?" My face goes pale from the pain, and I look at Tristan desperately. "Tristan! Help me..." But he only glances at me once before his eyes go straight back to Sarah. Someone drags me by my hair while another person picks up a metal rod and swings it straight into my stomach. The pain explodes through my entire body. "No! My baby..." I curl up from the agony, everything goes black, and I feel blood running down my legs. When I wake up, I'm in a hospital bed. I can feel the emptiness where my baby used to be, and tears just keep sliding down onto the pillow. I can't stop them. Outside my room, nurses are whispering and glancing at me with pity. "They both got hurt, but that girl in the next room just has low blood sugar and got dizzy. Her boyfriend called in specialists from across the state and keeps fussing over her... "Meanwhile, this poor woman got beaten so badly she lost her baby, and her husband hasn't even bothered to show up once." In the room next door, Tristan spoon-feeds Sarah some soup. Sarah suddenly throws her arms around him. "Tris, you need to stop being so good to me. I'm gonna fall too hard to ever let you go." The sound of the bowl shattering hits the floor. Tristan's eyes widen slightly. "Sarah, this isn't right." "Tristan, are you completely clueless? Can't you tell I'm in love with you?" He looks away from her tearful face, hesitating, but then his hands settle gently on her waist anyway. Sarah's face flushes as she climbs onto his lap. "You have feelings for me too, don't you?" They start kissing. I watch the whole thing with my heart turning to stone. I stop recording, upload the video online, and the post shoots straight to the top of trending topics. My phone rings over and over, but I don't answer. I just turn around and head for the airport, catching the first flight to Northbridge. That's it. I'm done. I'm never looking back.
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