Caleb's grip on my hand tightened sharply when the repairman pulled a piece of sensual lingerie from the washing machine's drain. It wasn't my size. The repairman looked a bit awkward. "You should probably handwash these kinds of things in the future. A washing machine doesn't really get them clean, does it?" Caleb held my hand so tightly, as if he was terrified I'd lose it the next second and completely humiliate him in front of a stranger. But I didn't react at all. I just smiled gently. "The repairman is right. I definitely won't do it again." After the repairman left, I picked up the lingerie from the floor. The wet, cold, clammy touch on my fingertips made me sick to my stomach. I examined it closely, trying to imagine what kind of woman would wear such a thing. And what kind of woman would steal away Caleb, the man who once said he'd die for me? "Caleb." My voice was hoarse. "Do you have anything to say?" Truth be told, Caleb was never good at hiding things. He tried to be careful, but emotions are impossible to conceal. Just like when he used to love me. The peach scent he accidentally picked up, the adjusted passenger seat... Each detail pricked at my heart, not enough to kill me, but enough to hurt. The real moment I realized he might have strayed was during a shopping trip to the mall. He was a fitness fanatic, meticulous about his body fat percentage, never cared for things. But when we were ordering, he suggested: "Let's get the peach iced coffee. It's their new flavor." I looked at him and said softly, "I'm allergic to peaches." He froze, then hugged me, sounding guilty. "I'm so sorry... I'll put it in my notes app right now, I promise I'll never forget again..." At that moment, in his cedar-scented embrace, my heart refused to settle. More than trying to figure out who he'd had peach iced coffee with, what hurt me was that he needed a reminder just to remember my allergies. The young man who used to remember everything about me felt like a distant dream. But looking at Caleb, silent with his head bowed, all my questions got stuck in my throat, choked by his silence. What was the point of asking? What if... I pointed to the lingerie on the floor and said softly, "You can clean that up. I have plans tonight, so I won't be back." I'd take that chance... just one last opportunity, for the Caleb of our youth. Caleb let out a sigh of relief and began cleaning up. In the living room, my thoughts drifted. I have bipolar disorder. At my worst, my studies almost completely halted. My parents even gave up on me, leaving me to fend for myself, but Caleb caught the blade as I cut my wrist. Our blood mingled as he said hoarsely, "If you die, I'll die with you. I won't live alone. Please, just live. For me." Later, my condition stabilized. I finished my studies and built my own career. Caleb was always there. The love of our youth, his companionship later on, became the reason my heart softened now. It made me willing to take that chance for him, until I saw it with my own eyes. My assistant, Maria, called. "Eleanor, that expense you asked me to look into? I found it. Caleb used the company account to buy clothes for that woman. The shipping address is on record. I'll send it to you."
I drove to the apartment complex and quietly watched the dark, gaping entrance. What kind of woman would be inside? The kind who could change Caleb, the man who once offered to die for me. The kind who could transform his countless pities for me into endless indulgence and tolerance for her? The roar of an engine shattered my thoughts. A familiar car pulled up to the apartment building. It was Scott, Caleb's friend. The door opened, and Scott fist-bumped Caleb as he got out. "Told you you were lazy! You even need a ride from your buddy for a hookup? Am I your chauffeur? Come on, I'm coming up for a drink." I gasped, my knuckles white as I gripped the steering wheel. If the car hadn't stalled, I might have crashed right into Scott's. Two weeks ago, when Caleb drove me to the office, the GPS directly showed this address. I asked him, curious: "Whose place is this?" He laughed then. "Scott's place, that jerk. You wouldn't believe it, he brought back a ton of stuff from his hometown, heavy and awkward to carry. He keeps asking me to help him move it." Later, that address disappeared from the GPS. If I could still tell myself to take that chance earlier. But now, the truth was laid bare before me, stark and brutal. Even after being discovered, even though I was only staying home for one night, he was so eager to see her. I thought, the Caleb of our youth was dead. Now, it was a stranger wearing his skin. I called Caleb. "Caleb, where are you?" His end of the line was quiet, but then I heard the sound of two breaths intertwining, just like ours used to. "Eleanor, I'm working late at the office. I'm on my way now. Did you get home?" "Yeah... I'm home." I hung up, let out a shaky breath, and as I opened the car door, my legs felt weak, and I stumbled. But I quickly steadied myself. I decided to go up and see for myself. I had to see how rotten this relationship had become, so I could finally let go of the reluctance in my heart. And never give him another chance. As I went upstairs, Scott's voice drifted down. "Dude, honestly, I still don't get what's so attractive about this woman. Eleanor isn't bad, after all. You two have been through so much over the years." I hid downstairs, my heartbeat exploding in my ears. Right, why? The click of a lighter, then Caleb's slightly hoarse voice. "You know Eleanor has bipolar disorder, right? I asked the doctor about her condition, it's hereditary. If she has a child and it turns out like that, I don't think I can handle it." Scott voiced the question in my mind. "Holy crap, didn't you two say you were DINKs? Why are you talking about kids now?" "I'm a man, after all. I need an heir." I couldn't listen anymore. I turned and left, hiding in my car, like a wounded animal licking its wounds. Before we got married, I asked him countless times, "But I have bipolar disorder, and if you marry me, I won't have children." He held me, promising solemnly, "I love you, the person. In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, it's you I love. Don't listen to gossip. I'm a sugar baby, aren't I?" Was the sincerity then real? Is the sincerity now real? I wiped away my tears and messaged my trusted attorney. "Please draft a divorce agreement for me."
I sat in my car for a long time until my attorney sent the divorce agreement, adding a reminder: "Eleanor, based on your description, if you can get evidence of infidelity, there's a strong possibility your husband will leave with nothing." "Okay." I went to the convenience store at the entrance, bought some cigarettes, and headed to the security office. "Excuse me, Frank. I'm so sorry, but I lost a gold bracelet in this complex yesterday. Would you mind pulling up the security footage for me?" Frank took the cigarettes and didn't make things difficult for me, readily bringing up the surveillance footage. I watched segment after segment. It wasn't just tonight; every time I worked late at the office, trying to contribute to our home, Caleb was indulging in his secret life here. Frank saw me staring blankly at Caleb's figure and asked, "You know Caleb?" "Oh, let me tell you, Caleb is the model husband of our complex!" I turned my head blankly, repeating softly, "Model husband?" Frank got animated, pulling up more footage for me. "Look, this is when Caleb and his wife, Brittany, first moved in. Caleb handed out donuts and coffee to everyone. He said he was busy with work and asked us to keep an eye out for his wife! I thought, being apart so much, how hard that must be. But Caleb and his wife are just living in marital bliss. Caleb is a sweet-talker, and hardworking too. Look at this one, this is Caleb taking his wife for a walk. His little wife was fussy, complained about being tired after two steps, and Caleb carried her back. And this one, on Valentine's Day, his wife said she wanted a wedding. Oh, still so lovey-dovey after a few years of marriage, but Caleb didn't hesitate for a second! I still have some of their wedding candy, here, try some." The girl in the footage, wearing a white wedding gown, was beaming with joy in Caleb's arms, and Caleb was elated, just like he was on our wedding day. The candy was incredibly bitter, yet incredibly sweet, choking my throat so I couldn't speak, only tears fell, drip, drip, drip. Frank saw my tears and fell silent, cautiously asking, "Who are you to Caleb?" I tried to force a smile. "I'm his wife." Then, I grabbed my phone, which was recording the footage, and fled. I hid in my car, watching the surveillance footage I'd recorded, my thoughts drifting back to my wedding day with Caleb. He was just like that, holding me and spinning around, shouting to the crowd: "I married Eleanor! Eleanor is my wife now!" He had been the only order in my collapsing mental world, but now, that order had crumbled. I stood downstairs, looking up, and saw the lights on in their apartment. Two figures were silhouetted against the French windows. Caleb and Brittany embraced tightly, their lips met, and I felt my world slowly crumbling before my eyes. I felt like my breathing stopped for as long as they kissed, and only when they separated did I seem to breathe oxygen again. I gagged and threw up, leaned against the wall, and called him. The first call went unanswered, ringing for a long time before going to voicemail. The second call rang for a long time. Brittany pushed Caleb, and he reluctantly answered, "Hello, Eleanor, why are you calling?" He yawned, as if utterly exhausted. "Work at the office is so demanding. I'm so tired, I need the best wife in the world to give me a shoulder rub." Brittany heard this and angrily turned away. Caleb, pleading with her and trying to appease her, looked like such an extra as I watched their two figures by the French windows. How could someone's heart hold so many people? He asked me again, "Eleanor, what's wrong? Why aren't you saying anything?" I looked at him and asked softly, "Do you remember what you told me on our wedding day?"
The person by the window stiffened. He was silent for a long time, either too guilty to speak or having completely forgotten his vows. I said softly, "You said, 'Favoring the new and disliking the old is human instinct.' But love is humanity's choice to overcome instinct, to defy its own nature. For you, I will spend my entire life defying my instincts, fighting my own nature, loving you boundlessly, forever and always. If you fail, then I shouldn't hold back. Exact revenge on you as I would on my most hated enemy. Because that person is no longer you; the fearless you who would have died for me has been killed by him. You wanted me to avenge you.' Do you still remember?" My voice was choked with emotion by the end, but inside the apartment, Brittany reached for Caleb's hand and guided it under her clothes. Caleb's voice was hoarse as he quickly mumbled to me, "Eleanor, I have an urgent task here. I need to take care of it, so I'm hanging up now?" He quickly hung up. He didn't hear my last words. All that responded was the dial tone. I thought, there was no need to waste any more breath. I sent all the evidence to my attorney. That night, I sat blankly in a hotel, not going home. Because our memories were etched everywhere in that house. The scarf he knitted for me, the painting he drew for me, the matching couple mugs he bought... But now, they all felt like a mockery. I used to express my emotions whenever anything happened, but now, all my words were stuck in my throat, I couldn't say anything. What could I say? Who could I talk to? I stayed up until dawn and went to the office the next day, running right into Caleb at the entrance. "Good morning, Mrs. Eleanor." He winked at me. "Eleanor, isn't it time to announce my promotion to director today?" I suddenly remembered: Caleb had been drifting after graduation, so I got him a job at my company to give him something to do. That day, I promised to promote him to director. I smiled at him. "There's a surprise waiting for you later." He beamed with joy, reaching for my hand. "You're the best, Eleanor!" The morning meeting began. Caleb adjusted his tie. I had to admit, time had been kind to him. Nearing middle age, it had only added a touch of maturity to him, making a few young women in the office frequently glance his way. But his smugness quickly crumbled. I opened the large screen, and displayed there was exactly what he didn't want to see. He stood up, looking at me frantically. "Eleanor..."
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