It was the fifth year of our secret marriage. At a get-together with old college friends, someone tried to set my wife, Sarah, up with another guy from our class, Jason. Sarah and I were secretly married, so everyone thought she was single. Sarah glanced at me, then said, "No." I let out a sigh of relief. But the next moment, Jason abruptly leaned in and kissed her cheek. "But I really like you, Sarah. I'm serious about pursuing you." Amidst a chorus of laughter, Jason, grinning, pulled her into his arms. I counted to three in my head. Sarah didn't agree. Nor did she push him away. For the rest of the dinner, Jason practically waited on Sarah hand and foot. He kept putting food from his plate onto hers. He even put shrimp on her plate, the one thing she was allergic to. Sarah didn't even blink, just ate the shrimp. "Tastes good, right?" Jason asked. "Mmm, it's really good." Everyone burst into laughter. "See, Sarah might have rejected Jason, but she's clearly into him!" "When William spoke to her earlier, she completely ignored him." "Everyone knows what's up, right? Time to start thinking about wedding gifts!" Amidst the noisy room, I sat quietly in the corner, not saying a word. Sarah and I had been secretly married for five years. She was still in grad school and didn't want her professors or classmates to know she was married. "If the professor knew I was married, they might think less of me, believe I wasn't as academically diligent as other girls." I'd agreed to her request to keep our relationship a secret. Even at this dinner, I deliberately sat at the furthest table from her. And now I was stuck watching her get cozy with someone else. "Everyone bring a plus-one to the wedding!" Jason laughed, then turned to me. "William, you should bring your wife too! In all these years, I've only seen you post one photo of her on Ins, and it was just her back." His tone suddenly shifted, becoming oddly subtle. "Is she... not allowed to be seen?" "Or is your relationship... a secret?" The air froze for a second. A dozen pairs of eyes shot to me, but Sarah didn't even lift her head. My heart suddenly ached. Thinking of the agreement in my bag, a spark of resentment flared. I asked Sarah, "Sarah, what do you say?"
Sarah froze, her face hardened. "What does that have to do with me?" "How would I know anything about you and your wife?" But her eyes still shot me a warning glance. "Right?" Jason chuckled, covering his mouth. "You don't have to be embarrassed. These days, marriage is just a piece of paper, nowhere near as practical as a limited edition watch, right?" His words were clearly pointed, and everyone around us exchanged curious glances. Once, I'd accidentally run into Jason at a store. To avoid revealing my identity, I'd lied, saying my wife gave me the watch. I hadn't expected him to remember. I gave a small smile. "Why would I be embarrassed if my wife bought me a watch?" I asked Jason, "So concerned about my wife, are you trying to poach her?" Jason's smile vanished instantly. He almost instinctively looked at Sarah, and my heart plummeted. Did he know about Sarah and me? That was even more sickening than him being clueless. The room fell silent. His voice, when it came, was a fumbling mess. "William, I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't know you were so sensitive about this topic... Don't be mad." He suddenly grabbed Sarah's small drink, downed it in one go, then started coughing, tears streaming down his face as he collapsed into Sarah's arms. Sarah's brow furrowed, and she turned to snap at me. "Do you even realize how nasty you sound? Do you think it makes you look superior to maliciously slander someone?" I stared at her, enunciating each word. "Who started the malicious slander first?" "He was just curious!" Sarah's tone was icy. "Do you always have to be so aggressive?" She shielded Jason in her arms, confronting me across the round table. But *we* were supposed to be married. Someone tried to smooth things over. "William, don't mind Jason, he's young and speaks without thinking." "Sarah's clearly on his side now, William. Just drop it." "Don't fight, guys, it's not worth it. We know you're not like that." Sarah's lips pressed into a thin line. That was her tell, right before she exploded. For a guy like that. She used to stand in front of me, defending me when I was wronged. Now she was protecting Jason, who'd just slandered me. Fatigue washed over me, a relentless tide threatening to drag me under. I was truly fed up with this marriage. I took one last, long look at Sarah, then turned and left the hotel, leaving Jason sniffling behind me.
Once in the car, I pulled the divorce papers from my bag. A few days ago, I gave Sarah the rental agreement, and the divorce papers must have gotten mixed in by accident. She'd signed it without even looking. All I needed was my signature... A fountain pen suddenly rolled out of my bag. Just hours ago, Sarah's ears had flushed as she kissed me softly in the passenger seat. She'd said she saw our classmate, Lena, buying one for her boyfriend, so she followed suit. I'd immediately clipped the pen to my shirt pocket, even though it was a dip pen, something I never used. That vague, lingering thought resurfaced. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't resist getting out of the car, lighting a cigarette at the street corner. "Maybe we should talk first," I reasoned. "Then I'll sign." A whole pack later, the others started leaving. "Where did Sarah go, anyway?" I asked. No one answered, instead they started trying to convince me. "William, we know you like Sarah. But... you have a wife." "William, have you considered your wife's feelings? She even bought you that expensive watch." "This is cheating, and emotional cheating is still cheating..." I took a deep breath and cut them off. "So where did Sarah go, anyway?" "Sarah took him upstairs to get a room," someone said. "Jason was drunk and throwing a tantrum about not wanting to go back to the dorm." I looked down at the pile of cigarette butts on the ground, feeling like a complete fool.
Sarah once told me I was fearless, that I'd even try to peek if the sky fell. But standing at that hotel room door, I felt a genuine tremor of fear. Once that door opened, there would be no turning back for us. My phone buzzed. It was Sarah. "Hello?" Her voice sounded breathless. "I'll be home late tonight." "Who is it?" Jason's voice was groggy. "...Just a roommate." I couldn't help but laugh outside the door, but the laughter soon turned to tears. Ever since I could remember, I'd always known I would marry Sarah. Our dads had jokingly suggested we'd make a good pair when we were kids. No one took it seriously, except me. Because I loved her. So when Sarah's family lost everything, I still married her without hesitation. I started from nothing to build us a life, paid off all her family's debts. ...And then I became her "roommate" while she was hooking up with someone else. Something inside me truly died. "Sorry," I whispered, slowly wiping away my tears. "I can't do that." A cold laugh echoed from the phone. "Trying to lock me out again? How many times will you pull this stunt before you get tired of it?" "This time it's different." "You think I'll believe that?" Her voice rose, cutting through the door and the phone's static. I stared blankly at the door, then slowly raised my hand and pressed the doorbell. "Open the door."
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