By the time I transferred to his school, Ryder had already dated every pretty girl in the hallways. He used to joke with his friends, "I’d rather date a stray dog than date Harper." I am Harper. But a month later, his best friend pinned me against the lockers and confessed his feelings. When Ryder saw the faint mark on my collarbone, he completely lost his mind. "Who gave you permission to touch her?" 1 "Um... could you pass this to Ryder for me?" I took the pale pink envelope. It was the eleventh love letter this month. Everyone knew I was Ryder's childhood best friend, and everyone knew that out of all the girls in the world, I was the absolute last one he would ever like. So, they felt perfectly safe using me as their personal mail carrier. Just like always, when Ryder took the letter, he raised an eyebrow, thought for a second about who the girl might be, and let out a soft scoff. "My standards aren't that low." He tossed the letter back into my arms. "Someone on your level? No thanks." His friends burst into laughter. Ryder looked at me, his eyes dripping with sarcasm. Why? Because the very first love letter Ryder ever tore to pieces was mine. 2 Ryder and I grew up next door to each other. Our parents were close friends, so naturally, everyone assumed we were close, too. And in the beginning, we were. Until one specific... accident. We were playing Truth or Dare. Ryder picked dare, and someone challenged him to kiss me. Back then, we were just awkward teenagers with too much pride. He asked me, "Do you mind?" Before I could even process the question, he leaned in and kissed me. "Tsk. Nothing special." From that moment on, I was no longer the untouchable straight-A student in everyone's eyes. I was just another one of Ryder's possessions. 3 Ryder’s grades were terrible. Because of that, his parents constantly asked me to tutor him. But on the day we agreed to meet at the local library, I stood alone at the bus stop for nearly an hour. Eventually, I opened Snapchat and saw his story—he was at a sketchy gaming lounge, bragging about a ten-game win streak. I took an Uber to the lounge. The air inside was thick with vape smoke. There was a girl literally sitting on his lap. Her friends were cheering him on. Suddenly, he turned his head and locked eyes with me. He gave me a nasty, wicked smirk. 4 "Harper, are you out of your freaking mind?!" Ryder had been screamed at by his parents, and his car keys and allowance were confiscated. He couldn't go to the gaming lounge anymore, all because I snitched. "You shouldn't be hanging around places like that," I said, emphasizing every word. Back then, I hid my massive crush on him behind a wall of stubborn, self-righteous concern. But all my care only bought his growing disgust. Ryder grabbed my chin. "What gives you the right to control me?" "Did you honestly think that just because we kissed, you're my girlfriend? What a joke!" 5 Ryder was undeniably gorgeous. Combined with his rebellious, bad-boy attitude, he quickly became the most popular guy in school. Girls lined up to try and tame him. He never turned them down, playing the field with a casual, heartless charm. Even when he was just shooting hoops, his skills had the bleachers screaming his name. But Ryder didn't hold back. He hurled the basketball directly, and violently, at me. "Oops. Sorry." He sounded entirely bored as he watched me clutch my stinging arm. "You're not going to hold a grudge against me, right, my little childhood friend?" After that day, the whole school knew: Ryder hated me. 6 Gradually, I accepted that fact. I took the carefully written love letter I had poured my teenage heart into and buried it deep in a drawer. I stopped paying attention to him. But in front of our parents, we still had to play the part of best friends. "Ryder's grades have really improved lately! It must be all thanks to Harper. Here, I cut up some fruit for you two," his mother said with a bright smile. Ryder looked like he was in a great mood. But he subtly shot me a warning glare. His grades didn't improve because of me. They improved because he was "studying" after hours with Stella, the most popular girl in our grade. I knew, because I had caught them making out in an empty classroom. 7 I had already tried to erase Ryder from my world. But we went to the same school; avoiding him completely was impossible. As a consistent straight-A student, I had just been nominated for State Honor Scholar, and I needed to give a speech the next day. I stayed late after school to rehearse in the auditorium. Walking down the hall, I passed an empty classroom. The sounds coming from inside were quiet but unmistakable. I just turned my head, and through the gap in the blinds, I locked eyes with Ryder. He had Stella pinned against a desk. In the brief second he looked up, he caught me. Right then, I knew he was adding another strike to my name. 8 Stella, Ryder's new girlfriend, used to be the runner-up for Valedictorian. But after she started dating him, her grades visibly tanked. This quickly caught the counselors' attention. They pulled me into the office. "Has Stella been acting strangely lately? Is she hanging around a bad crowd?" I just shook my head. "I don't know." But secrets never stay buried. Somehow, word got out that I had been questioned. Ryder and Stella's relationship was exposed. His parents found out, and his dad—a man with a terrifying temper—dragged him home and beat him. My parents weren't home that day. Ryder forcefully barged into my bedroom. "I underestimated you." He shoved me hard. I lost my balance and crashed into my desk. One of the drawers flew out, spilling its contents across the floor. Ryder’s grip on my wrist tightened, then froze. Because we both saw it. Lying on the floor was the pale pink love letter. It had my name on it, and his. And he recognized my handwriting perfectly. 9 "Oh... so you're just jealous?" Ryder's face lit up with mocking realization. He ripped the love letter to shreds, then grabbed me. I struggled against his grip. "I didn't snitch on you!" He raised an eyebrow. "I have something more important to deal with right now." Ryder snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and snipped off a lock of my hair. "Harper, I would rather date a dog than date you."
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