I Loved the Boy Next Door for Ten Years, and He Loathed Me for Ten. Finally, I Slept With Him and Left Him a $200 Tip.

I Loved the Boy Next Door for Ten Years, and He Loathed Me for Ten. Finally, I Slept With Him and Left Him a $200 Tip. My childhood best friend felt deeply humiliated and relentlessly "hunted" me down everywhere. But he couldn't find me. I hid from him for three years, until my father passed away and I became an orphan. His parents told me, "From now on, our home is your home. That boy is your older brother." I looked at his face, which contorted with humiliation and rage the second he saw me, and cheerfully called out, "Hi, big brother!" 01 I hid from Holden for exactly three years. The reason I remember it so clearly is because the night I slept with him was New Year's Eve during my freshman year winter break. That night, there were fireworks going off everywhere outside. And today is New Year's Eve of my senior year winter break. I was dragging my suitcase, wanting to buy some fruit before heading up to the apartment. Unexpectedly, I bumped right into Holden. He hadn't changed much. Hood pulled up, hands shoved in his pockets, radiating that lazy, effortless bad-boy vibe. —You couldn't tell he was a bastard at all. A beautiful bastard. The moment he walked into the convenience store, I instinctively turned my back and pulled my baseball cap down low. "Holden, back for some fruit?" The female owner was young, and her eyes lit up the moment she saw him. "The new batch of grapefruits is great, take a couple back for your parents to try." Holden said, "I don't eat sour things." "How about cherries? Guaranteed sweet." "I hate sweet things even more." ...I wanted to smack him. Eat it if you want, if not, get lost. But the owner's enthusiasm didn't wane. When he was paying, she even forced a few apples into his bag. This was Holden's special treatment. With that handsome face, he was the local prince wherever he went. When he was ten, Holden would walk down the street empty-handed and come back with his pockets stuffed full of snacks from the neighbors. It used to make me cry out of jealousy. Now, at twenty, the people giving him snacks had changed generation after generation. But he was still the prince. The owner asked, "Holden, heading home alone this year?" "Yeah." "I heard from the neighbors you were planning to bring a girlfriend back this year." Holden has a girlfriend? My ears instinctively perked up. 02 Holden gave a soft chuckle. When he laughed, he had this slight nasal tone that tickled your ears. Three years ago on New Year's Eve, I heard it up close. It didn't just tickle my ears; after hearing it enough, it tickled my heart. "It's a rumor," he said. Owner: "I knew a guy like you would have high standards. It's hard to find the right girl. What type do you like? I have a younger sister, she's super sweet..." "I hate sweet, cutesy girls." Yeah, I could almost picture the exact expression on Holden's face when he said that. On my sixteenth birthday, I got a lacy dress. I wore it to show Holden. He used that exact disgusted tone and said, "Maggie, I hate cutesy girls." The owner chuckled awkwardly. "Well, you should still find a girlfriend soon to give your parents some peace of mind." "Don't worry, I have a girlfriend." Holden drawled lazily: "I just haven't decided which girlfriend to bring back." Owner: ... Somehow, coming from this bastard's mouth, such an outrageous statement actually sounded perfectly reasonable. After a while, the store fell quiet. I figured Holden must have left. I reached for the last melon on the display. A long, slender hand suddenly shot out and intercepted the melon mid-air. "Sorry, I grabbed it first." That lazy voice echoed right above my head. He said sorry, but I couldn't sense a single ounce of guilt. "But I might consider letting you have it." Holden's clear, piercing voice struck my eardrums— "If you just turn around." 03 My cursed history with Holden goes back twelve years. My dad took me from our small rural town and moved us to Chicago. He and Holden's dad were army buddies. After they got discharged, their lives went in completely opposite directions. My dad got the short end of the stick. The city was expensive. He drove a city bus, barely making enough to scrape by. As for why we had to live in the city, my dad said the schools were better here, so I could get into a good college. Rent in the city was brutal. Thank God for Holden's dad, who let us stay in a small adjacent apartment they owned. Holden's parents were amazing to me. My dad was out driving a lot, so after school, I'd just go to Holden's house for dinner. I basically ate with Holden, lived near Holden, and went to school with Holden. But, he didn't like me. Holden's friends were mostly good-looking or came from wealthy families. I was a chubby, tanned little country bumpkin. I stubbornly followed him everywhere, which annoyed the hell out of him. Once, he intentionally ditched me at a local carnival, almost causing me to get lost. Holden got the beating of a lifetime for that. He probably still has the scars on his ass. He hated me even more after that, constantly thinking of ways to prank me. But I was so silly back then. I always felt Holden was different from the boys back in my hometown. He was so good-looking, his skin so pale. When he smiled, he seemed to glow. No matter how he pranked me, I stubbornly trailed behind him. This blind worship eventually blossomed into a teenage crush during puberty. Looking back now, Holden's annoyance with me was completely undisguised. One spring, all the flowers at school were blooming. Holden's friends asked him what his favorite flower was. Holden said, "I don't have a favorite, only a least favorite. I absolutely hate magnolias. They're too sweet, too cloying, they smell awful." As he said it, he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. My name is Magnolia, Maggie for short. He said that entirely on purpose for me to hear. But I was dense. I still followed him around every single day, practically driving him crazy. Finally, the year we graduated high school, a minor incident occurred. I asked Holden, "Where are you applying for college?" Holden thought about it. "New York." I eagerly applied to schools in New York. It wasn't until the acceptance letters arrived that I found out. Holden was going to Boston. He lied to me, just to get away from me. What a cruel reality. 04 During the first semester of freshman year, if I didn't reach out, Holden wouldn't contact me either. He had his own life, his own social circle. He was brilliant, top of his major, and famously known as the hottest guy on campus. There were always beautiful girls in his group photos. I went to Boston to visit him once. His friends asked, "Holden, who's the chick?" Holden said, "My dad's friend's daughter." I froze right then and there. We had known each other for ten years, and in the end, I wasn't even considered a regular friend. I felt a sudden, crushing disappointment. But I refused to just give up like that. I plotted for a long time, and on New Year's Eve during winter break, I slept with Holden. We both had some drinks that night. Holden was a lightweight and got drunk fast. I, however, was exceptionally sober. When I got close, he said, "Maggie, do you even know what you're doing?" I asked him back, "Holden, do you even know how long I've liked you?" Holden fell silent. I reached out to unbutton his shirt. He grabbed my wrist, and it hurt a little. I hissed in pain, tears welling up in my eyes. Holden instantly let go. A flash of guilt crossed his eyes, but maybe I imagined it. Because immediately after, he said something like a true bastard: "Maggie, you look really ugly when you cry." "It's fine, you'll be crying in a minute too." My bold words didn't exactly pan out. I was the one crying in the end. But Holden was very gentle that night. Afterward, he held me and whispered, "I'm sorry I lied to you about college." I ignored him. He twirled my long hair around his finger and sighed helplessly, "Stop crying, Mags. I'll go to grad school in New York, okay?" What did that have to do with me? I had already decided to let go. Tonight was just about giving myself some closure. After all, I had been an idiot for so many years. It felt like a loss if I didn't get him at least once. Now that I had him, I wouldn't obsess over him anymore. Early the next morning, before Holden woke up, I bolted. Oh, right. He had paid for the motel room. I didn't want to owe him, so I left a $200 tip for my half of the bill. But this action seemed to cause a bit of a misunderstanding... I deleted all of Holden's contact info and cut him off completely. I heard from my high school best friend that Holden felt immensely humiliated and was relentlessly "hunting" me down everywhere. He even showed up at my campus. He came several times but never caught me. The most memorable instance was May of my sophomore year. My roommate recounted it to me later: Holden looked like an erupting volcano that day, ready to catch me and tear me to shreds. He stopped my roommate and demanded fiercely, "Where the hell did Maggie go now?!" My roommate said, "Oh, didn't you know? Today is Valentine's Day." "—She went out to celebrate with her boyfriend." In that moment. It was like a torrential downpour instantly extinguishing the volcano. Holden stood frozen in place, not moving an inch for a very, very long time. 05 To clarify, the dating part was true. I didn't like Holden anymore, so what's wrong with dating? Not only did I date, I dated several guys over time. And Holden knew about every single one of my exes. My best friend kept him updated. Holden never stopped holding his grudge against me. He had been on a pedestal for twenty years, only to be "humiliated" by the little sidekick he used to look down on. I'd be pissed too. I heard he even stormed back to my rural hometown. Unfortunately, that was the year my dad went to New York for medical treatment, so I didn't go home. He couldn't catch anyone, acting like a bitter, abandoned ex. This game of cat and mouse played out for three years. And today, it was finally coming to an end. Because moving forward, I was going to spend my holidays at Holden's house. My dad passed away last winter. I didn't have a home anymore. Holden was currently standing right behind me, way too close. He tapped his finger against the melon, tap, tap. "Turn around. I'll buy this melon for you." I didn't move a muscle. He quickly got bored. "Don't turn around then. Just kidding. I'm out." That was Holden. His interest in anything never lasted more than three minutes. This time, he really left. Even though in ten minutes, we were going to reunite in his living room anyway. Even though we used to be inseparable. Even though he hated my guts right now. We still had to sit down and eat New Year's dinner together. I carried the pile of fruit to the register. The owner gave me a few extra looks. "Young lady, you look a little familiar." "I have a generic face." "Oh, please. As pretty as you are, there's no way you have a generic face," she tsked, saying confidently. "I've definitely seen you somewhere. Especially those dimples." It was normal that she didn't recognize me. I had changed a lot. After puberty, I lost a ton of weight, and after spending years in the city staying out of the sun, my skin cleared up and brightened. I was no longer that dark, chubby little country girl. In a recent campus poll, I even won the title of "Communications Department Sweetheart." Oh, right. Holden actually showed up in that poll thread. He commented: "Bullshit sweetheart. Are everyone's eyes in the Communications department broken??" The only reason I recognized him was because his username was "ImTheKing." After paying, I grabbed the fruit and left. The moment I pushed the door open, an icy stare landed on my back. "Buying all this, where exactly are you heading?" Holden hadn't left. He was leaning against the wall, looking like he'd been waiting for me for a while. I ignored him and sped up. He quickly caught up, taking a long stride to block my path. He snatched the baseball cap right off my head. "Did you have fun playing me, Maggie?" 06 Yeah, it was fun. I wanted to say that, but obviously, I couldn't. Holden scoffed. "Three years and you've gone mute?" I looked up at him with a sweet, innocent smile. "Hi Holden. Long time no see." Since I couldn't avoid him anyway, I might as well face him bravely. But Holden wasn't smiling. He just stared at me, like he wanted to burn a hole through my skull. His expression was too calm. Terrifyingly calm. Only his slightly red eyes and trembling hands gave him away. I don't know how long we stood there. Long enough that people walking by were staring at us. Finally, Holden looked down and took my suitcase. Neither of us spoke on the way back. Holden walked fast, with absolutely no intention of waiting for me. I had to jog just to keep up. He seemed to have grown even taller. He looked to be at least 6'2". He walked faster and faster, and I couldn't help but speak up. "Holden, slow down." Holden stiffened. —It was exactly like before. He'd walk in front, and I'd follow behind, chattering away, calling out, "Holden, Holden!" It had been a long time since we felt this dynamic. Holden sounded impatient. "Are your legs just short?" But his pace noticeably slowed down. "Your legs are long, you have the longest legs," I fired back without hesitation. "Too bad you didn't grow in the places that actually matter." The words slipped out. The double entendre was instantly established. I meant his emotional intelligence and his narrow perspective. But... Holden had already snapped his head around, his lips pressed tightly together, his face a mix of humiliation and pure disbelief. "Is that why you left without saying goodbye?!" Me: ... This was bad. Holden the Bastard—I mean, Holden the Prince—had a huge ego. And I had just shattered it in one blow. He dragged me into the stairwell, relentlessly demanding that I break down what I just said and explain it in detail. I threw my hands up. "There's nothing to explain. I meant exactly what I said." "You must be remembering it wrong. You drank too much that night." "Whatever, it's not important." "It's incredibly important!" Holden's cheeks flushed, probably out of anger. "No, I have to prove myself." I was just about to ask, how exactly are you going to prove it, when I saw Holden put his hands on his belt buckle. I froze. "You've gotta be kidding me..." What kind of childhood friend drops their pants on the first day of their reunion? Holden's expression told me he was dead serious. He was betting his dignity on this. Before I knew it. He had already unbuckled his belt. 07 Right at that exact moment, Holden's dad pushed the apartment door open. "Is Maggie here yet?" Holden froze. I dodged in front of him, blocking him from view. "Hi, Mr. Brooks! I just got here!" "Did you run into Holden? The kid said he was going downstairs to buy fruit. It's been over an hour and he wouldn't come up. Said he was waiting for you." I paused for a second. When I looked back, Holden's pants were securely fastened. He awkwardly averted his gaze. "I was just taking a walk." Once we were inside, Mr. Brooks casually asked, "What were you two dawdling about outside just now?" Both Holden and I went dead silent. Mrs. Brooks chimed in, "The kids haven't seen each other in so long. They were probably just catching up." "Exactly." I nodded vigorously. "It's been way too long since I saw my big brother." Holden: "Who's your brother? Stop calling me that." As soon as the words left his mouth, his mom smacked the back of his head. "From now on, our house is Maggie's house. You are her older brother. You have to protect her." Holden was stunned. "I don't want to be her brother!" "Then you can be her younger brother. We don't mind." "Mom! That's not what I mean. I'm actually Maggie's—" Mrs. Brooks cut him off. "Stop whining. I'm going to go cook." But I was a little curious. What was Holden trying to say? He's actually my... what? Over the past three years, it felt like we had zero relationship whatsoever. He couldn't possibly be planning to tell his parents about what happened three years ago, right?! No, I had to stop him. I looked up and met Holden's dangerous gaze. I smiled sweetly. "Hi, big brother." Holden: ...

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