In my past life, Ethan fell into ruin because of me—imprisoned, his family destroyed. Before he died, he spat blood and begged me: "In the next life, please don't cling to me anymore." Reborn back to senior year before everything went wrong, I decided to grant his wish. I distanced myself from him, endured bullying, and quietly planned to leave for a distant land. Yet when I was humiliated, he watched coldly from the sidelines. When I was slandered, he kicked me while I was down. He said: "An ungrateful wretch—I'm sick of her." But when I finally boarded the plane to leave, he came chasing after me like a madman. The day Uncle Wilson brought me home, he said to Ethan: "Lily is a hero's daughter. From now on, you must take good care of your sister." Because of that one sentence, Ethan took care of me for ten years, from age eight to eighteen. I suffer from selective mutism—emotionally closed off, learning difficulties, lacking even basic self-care abilities. When I was ten, classmates locked me in the equipment room while Ethan wasn't around, watching me break down. When Ethan found out, he blinded one of the perpetrator's eyes. For this, the academically excellent boy not only received disciplinary action but was also made to kneel all night by Uncle Wilson. At twelve, I got my first period during the school sports meet. Face flushed, he bought me my first pack of sanitary pads and stammered through asking the school nurse to teach me about it. At fifteen, I was tricked by bad people to a hotel and nearly assaulted. He rushed in desperately and pulled me out from those thugs who carried knives and guns. Back then, his voice trembled with urgency as he struck my palm: "Will you ever follow strangers again?! Running off like that! Never listening!" He hit hard. I cried from the pain, but I didn't blame him. Because that hand of his was covered in injuries from saving me. He was so good to me, yet I distanced myself from him when I turned eighteen. All because at a class dinner, drunk, he said: "Lily's such an idiot. When she was little, I thought she was cute and was willing to take care of her. Who knew she'd still be this 'cute' at eighteen? If her parents hadn't died saving my dad, I wouldn't bother with this burden!" From that day on, I woke up an hour earlier every morning, took the bus to school alone, avoiding his schedule. At school, I ate lunch by myself, no longer joining his group. When Morgan, the girl pursuing him, cornered me in the hallway to bully me, I no longer looked to him for help. Instead, I kept my head down and silently endured Morgan's malice. I became even more silent and obedient. Whether at school or home, I stopped causing him any trouble. But now he blocked my bedroom door: "Lily, how long are you going to avoid me?" I gripped my backpack straps and ducked under his arm. He suddenly pinned me against the wall: "Just because I said something stupid when I was drunk, you're going to hold a grudge this long?" I knew his drunken words weren't genuine resentment—it was because we'd argued that day. Despite my mutism, I also cared about beauty. That day I'd shortened my school skirt like Morgan did and happily showed it off to Ethan. His face darkened: "Who said you could wear such a short skirt? Change it back!" After all, I'd painstakingly altered the uniform myself, and he wouldn't let me wear it. I clutched the skirt protectively: "Why can Morgan and the others wear it but I can't?" "Can you compare yourself to her? Don't you know your own situation?" Actually, I knew he meant that my mental state wasn't fully developed, I couldn't protect myself properly, and a short skirt would attract bad people. But in that moment, emotions got the better of me and I scratched three marks across his face. Feeling depressed, he vented with those harsh words while drunk. Returning to the present, I whispered: "Yes, because of those harsh words." Then I pushed past him and walked out. He pounded the wall behind me: "Lily, you're really heartless! I've taken care of you like a slave for ten years! If I really thought you were a burden, why would I act like your dog? Isn't what you're doing now breaking my heart?" Bang. Uncle Wilson's bedroom door opened. He yawned and said: "You two leaving this early? Ethan, drive slowly and take good care of Lily." Ethan and I stopped arguing abruptly. Neither of us wanted the adults to notice, so we had no choice but to leave the house together. At the door, Morgan greeted Ethan cheerfully: "Ethan, good morning." Morgan had been chasing Ethan for three years. After learning they lived in the same neighborhood, she waited at his door every morning. But Ethan always treated her like she was invisible. Of course, except when she was bullying me—then Morgan also treated me like I was invisible. Seeing both our faces tense, Morgan's lips couldn't hide her excitement: "Did you two fight?" Ethan ignored her, steadying his bicycle and asking me: "Lily, you've decided. Continue this cold war, or ride with me to school?" I said nothing, head down as I walked past him. He didn't try to stop me either, gritting his teeth: "Fine, don't regret this!" Then he looked at Morgan: "Morgan, get on." Morgan gasped with delight and climbed onto Ethan's bike. The boy rode past me quickly, the puddle water splashing and dirtying my school skirt hem. I watched his cold, retreating back and Morgan's smugness, suppressing the deep ache in my heart. Ethan, don't worry. This lifetime, I won't hold you back anymore.
He didn't know—I've been reborn. In my past life, Ethan married me out of responsibility. After marriage, my mutism grew worse for certain reasons. During episodes, I became paranoid and violent, attacking Ethan with fists and scratches multiple times. A perfectly good professor, his face covered in scratches from me. Yet toward me, Ethan never uttered a word of complaint. Unexpectedly, Ethan's rivals reported him for raping a mentally ill woman under the guise of marriage. Just like that, the prestigious Northbridge University professor was arrested on rape charges. Uncle Wilson and his wife begged me to testify in court, but with my severe illness, I couldn't even speak, which only further confirmed the charge that he violated my will. After Ethan was imprisoned, I entered a psychiatric hospital for treatment. When my condition improved slightly, I went to court to clear his name. But by then, his reputation was destroyed, his job lost, and all his pride had been ground away in prison. The night I picked him up from prison, he drove in silence. With his shaved head and ill-fitting old clothes, those eyes that once shone with youth were filled with exhaustion from being dragged down. Filled with guilt, I asked him for a divorce. Then, a car out of control came speeding toward us. Before impact, Ethan instinctively shielded me with his body. He died. Before dying, spitting blood, he said: "Lily, if you truly feel sorry for me, don't cling to me in the next life. I'm so tired." His parents lost their only son. Within half a year, they both passed away. And I, this burden, destroyed Ethan and ruined Uncle Wilson and his wife who raised me. After burying Ethan's parents, I found a deserted place and quietly left this world. When I opened my eyes again, I was back at eighteen, senior year. Ethan wasn't imprisoned, wasn't dead. He stood vividly on the table, drunkenly spouting harsh words. In my past life, I was heartbroken for a long time after hearing those words. But after rebirth, I smiled and called my mom's nominal younger brother—my uncle. I just had to wait one month, then leave the country with my uncle. ...... When I arrived at school, first period hadn't started yet. Morgan sat on Ethan's lap, the two sharing a cookie, incredibly intimate. Classmates around them teased: "Congratulations to campus beauty Morgan—after three years of pursuit, you finally caught the top student." "I always said Lily was bad luck—killed her parents and cursed Ethan. Now that the idiot's away from Ethan, he and Morgan finally got together!" "Ethan, you won't protect Lily anymore, right?" "Then we..." Morgan's girlfriends glanced at me with sinister glee, their intent to torment clear as day. Since freshman year, Morgan had been jealous of my relationship with Ethan, constantly undermining me openly and covertly, even bullying me when Ethan wasn't around. Their malicious stares pierced me. I couldn't help shrinking back, instinctively looking toward Ethan. But Ethan's words were brief and cruel: "Don't go too far. I have to answer to my parents." I kept my head down and quickly passed through that crowd of malicious gazes, only to see my desk piled with garbage—sticky soy sauce mixed with moldy bread firmly stuck to the surface. People around me snickered. I felt lost, frozen for a long time before starting to clean it up. I heard Morgan say: "Ethan, you don't feel sorry for her, do you? You always protected her before. Now you're my boyfriend. I won't allow you to be soft-hearted toward other girls, even an adopted sister!" Ethan said indulgently: "What adopted sister? Just an ungrateful wretch who can't even speak properly. I'm sick of her." My hand paused. My heart felt a faint numbness. Morgan's beautiful, delicate shoes appeared in my vision. Crash! Dirty, sticky garbage was swept onto my head. Frightened, I fell to the ground, helplessly wiping at my hair covered in soy sauce and mold. The surrounding students laughed louder. I looked up indignantly, but what awaited me was Morgan's heavy slap. "Try looking at me like that again." Morgan's delicate face filled with mockery. "Lily, you haven't eaten yet, have you? Let your sister-in-law treat you to breakfast." Two male classmates pinned my hands behind my back. I knelt humiliatingly in that pile of garbage, sharp glass shards piercing my knees. "Ah, it hurts..." Morgan grabbed that ball of black moldy bread and tried to shove it in my mouth. I struggled but couldn't break free, biting my lips tightly, my face covered in the garbage's soy sauce and mold: "Mmph!" Years of habit made me instinctively look toward Ethan. A flash of reluctance crossed the boy's brow. He mouthed: "Just give in and I'll save you." He permitted Morgan to hurt me, waiting for me to beg him for help. I withdrew the tears from my eyes and suddenly rammed into Morgan's stomach. "Morgan!" Ethan caught the off-balance Morgan in alarm. Just then, the homeroom teacher's voice rang out: "What's going on here?"
The homeroom teacher seemed like a lifeline to me. Seeing the filth on my face, she asked sternly: "Who's openly bullying a classmate in class? Morgan, was it you?" Morgan rolled her eyes, clutching her stomach: "Teacher, you can't favor Lily just because she's sick. She's the one who rammed into me." Seeing Morgan's pain didn't seem faked, the teacher looked at me critically: "Lily, you explain." But I'm naturally mute. Except when facing Ethan and his parents when I can communicate normally, when interacting with others, being able to say ten words in a sentence is already good. I stammered: "It's not, I... I..." The powerlessness of being unable to defend myself made me anxious. Just then, Ethan stepped forward and said: "Teacher, let me explain." Like a beam of light shining on me, I looked at Ethan hopefully, thinking he would give me justice. But Ethan said: "Lily had an episode this morning and made a mess of her own desk. Morgan kindly tried to help, but she not only wouldn't listen, she rammed Morgan with her head." His tone was lazy: "That's what happened. No one bullied Lily. She attacked someone while sick." In an instant, my mind went blank. He knew full well that when facing false accusations, I had no ability to defend myself. Yet now, he cruelly threw dirty water on me. The teacher was disappointed: "Lily, you've let me down! Go stand in the hallway and reflect on yourself!" The teacher's criticism stung. I stared blankly at Ethan, lips trembling: "Why?" He didn't give me any look, carrying Morgan to the infirmary. Only when passing me did he raise his eyes: "The teacher told you to go stand in the hallway. What, didn't understand?" My heart throbbed with dull pain. Ethan, my knees are bleeding. Can't you see? After class, the crowded hallway was full of malicious stares. "Look at her face, so disgusting!" "Doesn't it look like a pile of shit stuck to her face?" The mockery was endless. Someone even picked up the disgusting bread from my desk and threw it at me. I trembled all over, completely breaking down. My condition felt like a flood about to breach the dam, ready to become hysterical any moment. I didn't want to hurt others during an episode, so I shakily fumbled through my bag for my medicine. Finally finding it, someone snatched it away. "Give it back!" I looked up sharply to see Morgan's mocking expression. And Ethan stood beside her, not stopping her. I stood up and rushed toward Morgan, only wanting to get the medicine back. But Ethan instinctively kicked me away, as if I were some uncontrolled wild dog: "You want to hurt people again?" His force wasn't great, but that kick shattered my heart. Seeing me fall, Ethan looked away with reluctance: "Lily, if you apologize to Morgan, I'll have her return your medicine. After all, you were in the wrong first. She's doing this just to get your apology." He wasn't someone who couldn't tell right from wrong. Who was at fault—he knew perfectly well. Ethan was doing this just to force me to give in. He was so excessive, yet I didn't even have the right to hate him. After all, I truly owed him my life. Thinking of what I owed him in my past life, I stood up and left dejectedly: "I won't take it." The boy's footsteps moved forward unconsciously, but ultimately pride won out and he didn't chase after me. I went to clean the filth from my body, trying to make myself somewhat presentable. Just as I'd finished washing my face, Morgan came over twirling her delicate hair. "What spell did you cast on Ethan to make him care about you so much? Eagerly sending me to bring you medicine." I didn't want conflict with her, but she blocked my way: "Hey, you're usually so quiet, but today you dared to ram me with your head?" Morgan was angry about my resistance today. I looked up, meeting her eyes directly: "I'm not afraid of you anymore." In my past life I feared her, endured her bullying without telling anyone, because I didn't want to cause trouble for the Wilson family. Morgan sneered: "Is that so?" She handed me the medicine: "I'm done teasing you. Here." I reached for the medicine, but in the next moment, Morgan suddenly grabbed my hand and dragged it across her own face, falling to the ground pitifully: "Lily, I kindly brought your medicine back to improve our relationship. Why did you hit me?" Absurd. I didn't understand why she did this and was about to leave when I suddenly saw Ethan's disappointed gaze.
"Lily!" Ethan stood at the bathroom door, fists clenched: "You're angry at me—why hurt someone else?" I panicked, finally understanding I'd been set up by Morgan. "Ethan, is this who I am in your eyes?" Being wrongly accused by others, I felt nothing. Being misunderstood by him, my heart felt like it was being cut. Yet I didn't even have the right to blame him. I walked past him. He grabbed my wrist: "Illness isn't an excuse for immunity. Apologize to Morgan." His grip was strong. I couldn't break free, my heart covered in grievance: "She slandered me. Why do you only believe her and not me?" "Whether it's slander, you know in your heart!" Ethan's voice was warm with anger. "Besides me, no one will indulge you!" He turned his head. On his fair neck remained the scratches from our previous argument, confirming the evidence that I liked to scratch people. Reminding me of the past life's Ethan, who would always hold me tightly during my episodes, constantly apologizing, saying he hadn't taken good care of me. Yet I would frantically drag my sharp nails across his face, again and again. Outsiders all laughed that Professor Wilson was henpecked, married to a fierce wife. But he never spoke a bad word about me to outsiders. "I won't apologize." I could apologize to Ethan, even kneel and kowtow. But I wouldn't apologize to Morgan. Ethan gritted his teeth: "Fine, you asked for this." He restrained both my hands behind my back: "Morgan, however many times she hit you, you pay back tenfold." Boom! Prolonged ringing made my consciousness hazy. I looked at the boy before me in shock. His expression was serious, not joking at all. Until Morgan's slaps fell like sudden rain. One, two... "Ah!" The burning pain on my face and the humiliation of being slapped left me breathless. Morgan hit even harder. After ten slaps, Ethan didn't give me another glance. He tenderly took Morgan's hand: "Does your hand hurt?" Morgan smiled and linked arms with him: "It doesn't hurt." "That's good." I stood there for a long time before forcing my injured mouth into a smile: Ethan, you didn't need to restrain me. Because I wouldn't have fought back. After school that day, Ethan and I went home separately. Uncle Wilson anxiously watched at the door. Seeing me finally return with injuries on my face, he criticized Ethan: "What dinner? You didn't even notice your sister was being bullied?" Aunt Wilson asked with concern: "Lily, did you fight with your brother? Why haven't you been coming home together these past few days? Is someone bullying you at school?" Ethan said coldly: "She had an episode and hit herself. She's so fierce—who would dare bully her?" "Kneel down!" Uncle Wilson was furious. "I told you to take good care of your sister. Is this how you take care of her?" Ethan threw down his chopsticks and walked to the living room to kneel: "She doesn't need me. Stop being presumptuous!" He rarely defied his elders like this. It made Uncle Wilson raise his hand to slap him. I spoke up to stop him: "Brother's right. I hit myself. I'm tired and want to go upstairs to rest." Hearing this, Ethan's bowed head lifted, his gaze complex as he looked at me. Aunt Wilson sighed: "Ethan, you know Lily's condition. When there are conflicts, you need to accommodate her more." "Haven't I accommodated her enough? Can't she feel sorry for me even once?" Uncle Wilson said helplessly: "Stubborn boy! If you don't treasure your time with Lily now, you'll regret it eventually! Do you know she'll soon..." "Uncle Wilson!" I stood at the stairs, interrupting him. Uncle Wilson held it in uncomfortably, but ultimately didn't tell Ethan I was leaving. But how smart was Ethan? That night, he came into my bedroom carrying hot milk. This had been his habit for ten years—heating me a cup of milk before bed. But since we started our cold war, I hadn't drunk hot milk. "Lily, you're hiding something from me." A declarative sentence. My tone was stiff as I turned away: "No." He turned my face back, leaning close: "How long are you going to keep this up with me? You think I felt good treating you like that today?" His intimate breath brushed my face. I blushed and dodged: "I need to sleep." Ethan's throat moved. After looking around, his gaze landed precisely on a suitcase. He walked over. I panicked—inside that suitcase were all my documents for going abroad! I grabbed his hand. Ethan's face darkened as he met my eyes: "Move." I knew if he was determined to look, I couldn't stop him. Fortunately, Morgan's voice came from downstairs: "Ethan! Ethan!" Without thinking, he turned and left.
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