On Noelle Miller's wedding day, my husband jumped from the 18th floor. Unlocking his studio, I found it filled with portraits of Noelle. The brushstrokes were frantic and chaotic, yet practically bleeding with his fierce, unyielding love for her. His best friend told me, "Ethan loved Noelle for ten years. She was the only light in his life." When I opened my eyes again, I was back in high school. I watched Ethan being cornered by the school bad boy in an empty classroom, and silently shut the door on them. Later, he knocked on my window in the pouring rain, his voice hoarse and desperate. "Belle, do you not want me anymore...?" 1 Astrophysics professor Ethan Wright recently discovered a new asteroid, but during his press interview, it was his stunning, aloof looks that made him trend online. The public's focus quickly shifted from the asteroid to his devastatingly handsome face. When people found out that the asteroid was named after the love of his life, the internet practically exploded. While praising this fairy-tale romance, netizens began furiously digging to find out who "E.l.l.e." was. Holding my phone, I was grinning from ear to ear, unable to wipe the smile off my face. At the end of the video, the reporter asked with a smile, "Professor Wright, do you have anything you'd like to say to your true love, E.l.l.e.?" Ethan froze. His pitch-black eyes trembled slightly. "Happy wedding day." His tone was calm, but threaded with an imperceptible, soul-crushing despair. I instantly stiffened. Happy wedding day? "Oooooh!" My best friend, Harper, nudged me playfully. "Belle, your Professor Wright looks so cold, but who knew he was such a romantic? Treating your anniversary like it's your wedding day all over again!" Is that what it was? Looking at Ethan's deeply affectionate eyes on the screen, my cheeks flushed hot. I had been by Ethan's side for ten years. I stayed with him, transforming him from a suicidal, gloomy teenager into the refined, elegant professor he was today. Ten years ago, he transferred to our school and became my desk mate. He was a boy with pale skin and picturesque features, but the way he looked at me was always filled with impatience. And now, he had named an asteroid after me. When he spoke of his true love, his usually stern brow softened with devotion and tenderness. Today was our first wedding anniversary. I rested a hand on my flat stomach, curled up on the sofa. I was waiting for him to come home so I could be the first to tell him the news: I was pregnant. However... What I waited for instead was the news of Ethan's death. He had jumped from the 18th floor. In his hand, he tightly clutched a crumpled note. Death is nothing but returning to the cosmos. Billions of years from now, we will reunite in the sea of stars. 2 Accompanied by Harper, I arranged Ethan's funeral. He had left a will, stating that all his assets were to be donated to charity upon his death. For some reason, I was remarkably calm these past few days. Seeing Harper with swollen eyes, grinding her teeth at Ethan's memorial portrait but forcing herself to comfort me, I actually felt the urge to laugh. After the funeral, I received a call from his lawyer. "Mrs. Wright, Mr. Wright owns a suburban villa that isn't included in the donation clause... Whenever you have time, you can go sort through it." The villa was on the south side of the city. I pushed open the front doors and was so stunned by what I saw that I couldn't speak. The entire living room was filled with portraits. The brushstrokes were frantic and extreme, as rough as a beginner's casual sketches. But the person in the paintings looked incredibly lifelike because of the intense, surging love poured into every line. It was Noelle Miller, the most popular girl from our high school. In ten years, I had never once heard her name leave Ethan's lips. I had no idea he hid his feelings for her so deeply. I stumbled forward a few steps, leaning heavily against a desk to keep myself from collapsing. On the desk, several resin blocks were neatly arranged. Inside each block, an item was perfectly preserved: a Jolly Rancher, a dried flower, an acrylic nail with a rhinestone. The resin was smooth and polished, clearly having been held and caressed countless times. The trash Noelle had casually tossed away, he treated as priceless treasures. Meanwhile, the wedding ring I had personally picked out for him was lying neglected in a dried-up paint palette nearby. My heart spasmed with pain. Tears spilled from my eyes without my permission. After sitting down, I masochistically opened the notebook resting on the desk. It documented Ethan's ten-year-long secret obsession. On his first day as a transfer student, he received a Jolly Rancher and a friendly smile from the beautiful girl sitting in front of him. It was as if a ray of sunlight had pierced through his pitch-black soul. For a gloomy teenager who suffered from domestic abuse and severe bullying, it was the first taste of pure, unadulterated kindness he had ever received. From that moment on, he was a goner. He wanted to lock her up. He wanted to possess her. He wanted her to smile only for him. But he couldn't bear to drag someone so radiant into his darkness. E.l.l.e. isn't for Isabelle. It's for Noelle. It was his wedding gift to her. Flipping from the first page to the last, I was only mentioned in a handful of brief, dismissive entries. [My new desk mate is too nosy. So annoying.] [...] [We got married. I regret it a little, but I have to take responsibility for her.] The breakfasts I brought him because I was worried about his low blood sugar, the bullies I chased away for him, the time I grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the fire his psychotic father started, the years of my companionship and comfort... He didn't write a single word about any of it. The only thing he couldn't forget was Noelle's bright, dazzling smile from years ago. Every word he wrote felt like a knife carving into my heart. I clenched my fists, taking deep, shuddering breaths. The air still smelled faintly of his crisp pine cologne. It made me want to throw up. Some people are just pathetic. They don't deserve salvation, and they don't deserve to be loved. I pressed my palm against my stomach. He didn't deserve to have me bear his child. Just as I was about to stand up, a noise came from the entryway. Two figures pushed the door open and walked in. 3 It was Caleb, Ethan's childhood friend, and Noelle. Caleb's eyes were bloodshot, his voice hoarse. "Ethan left this villa for you. You were the only light he ever had. When his depression got so bad he almost couldn't hold on, looking at your pictures was the only thing that kept him going." Noelle stood there looking lost, a layer of mist forming over her eyes. "After he got his early acceptance to MIT, he didn't even need to go to class anymore. He only showed up every day just to get one more look at you..." It was then that Caleb noticed me standing behind the bookshelf. He froze. Then, he frowned in pure disgust. "What the hell are you doing here?" He strode over and shoved me hard. "Get out! Don't pollute the only sanctuary Ethan had left! If you hadn't clung to him like a leech, he wouldn't have ended up like this!" I stumbled from the force of his shove, a dull ache throbbing in my abdomen. I steadied myself and slapped him hard across the face. "What does this have to do with me?! I never forced him to date me, and I never forced him to marry me! He missed out on Noelle because he was too much of a pathetic coward to do anything about it!" Noelle's tearful, nasally voice suddenly cut in. "Did he... did he really never get my love letter?" Both Caleb and I froze. "What did you say?" "Before graduation, I left a love letter on his desk, but he never responded..." She let out a bitter laugh, and when she looked up, her eyes were tainted with resentment. "It was you, wasn't it?" She glared daggers at me. "You were jealous of me, so you threw my letter away? You're the reason we missed out on each other for a whole decade... and now he's dead..." I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. But Caleb believed her instantly. "You toxic bitch!" Grinding his teeth, he lunged at me. My stomach slammed violently against the sharp corner of the table. Agonizing pain ripped through me. Blood slowly seeped through my clothes. My vision went black, and I collapsed to the floor. 4 When I opened my eyes again, I was wearing my old high school uniform, clutching a textbook, standing right in front of the storage room. Inside, a teenage Ethan was leaning against the wall, his messy black hair falling over his forehead, looking at me with a hint of confusion. Asher Stone, the school rebel, sat lazily across from him, looking completely relaxed. Seeing me, Asher raised an eyebrow, a careless smirk playing on his lips. "Well, well. The valedictorian. Worried about him? I'm just having a... heart-to-heart with him." The solid weight of the book in my hands told me this wasn't a dream. My hands and feet turned instantly cold as a wave of intense hatred washed over me. The book hit the floor with a thud. Expressionless, I reached out, pulled the door shut on them, and turned to walk away. Behind me, the door was shoved violently open. Ethan sprinted past me like a gust of wind, leaving only a hurried silhouette. "Why's he running? I just wanted to ask why he didn't sign up for the track meet..." Asher muttered, picking up my dropped book and casually handing it to me. "You're welcome, by the way." I got a bad feeling about this and quickened my pace to follow Ethan. By the classroom door, Ethan stood frozen, staring at Noelle, who was joking around with her desk mate inside. The setting sun cast a soft, golden halo around his silhouette. His gaze was endlessly tender, yet filled with disbelief, as if he had fallen into a beautiful dream he refused to wake up from. My heart slowly sank. His demeanor and aura weren't those of the gloomy teenager he used to be. He looked exactly like the refined professor from ten years in the future. Ethan... had been reborn too. "What's his problem?" Asher patted his shoulder in confusion, squeezing past him into the classroom. "Class is starting, man. Stop blocking the door."
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