The new transfer student clung to me the second he arrived. He was proud, cheerful, and full of youthful spirit. I tutored him, helping him climb from the absolute bottom of the class to the top tier. He would rescue me from awkward situations, pinching my cheek and saying: "Little coward, let me take you to ditch class and get ice cream, okay?" Until I overheard him confessing to someone else at the corner of the stairwell. His eyes were obedient, his voice pleading. "I came here for you." "You really hate her, right? I'll drag her down." During evening study hall that night, I finished seven practice exams, working so relentlessly that it made everyone else in the room panic. 1 During our senior year of high school, all my AP science notes were thrown into the muddy school pond. Carter Hayes jumped into the filthy water without a second of hesitation. Soon, he held the soaking wet notebook high in the air. He flashed a bright, blinding smile at me. "Chloe, I found your notebook." Looking at the ink-smeared, mud-caked notebook... "Th... thank you." I thanked him softly. I was a natural stutterer; my speech was never fluid. "Keep me company after school to buy ice cream as a thank you, okay?" He grinned, revealing his slightly pointed canine teeth. The students crowding around us immediately started cheering and teasing. "No." After school, the physics teacher was going to explain some problems to me; I didn't want to waste my study time. As soon as I refused, Carter's face fell, looking exactly like a kicked puppy. "Oh, I see... then I won't bother you." His amber eyes were filled with visible disappointment. Carter's buddies immediately jumped in. "Carter dug your notebook out of dirty water, and you won't even buy him an ice cream?" I looked at Carter standing tall in front of me, laughing and roughhousing with his friends. "Nobody is allowed to tease Chloe, she's busy." If I hadn't eventually learned Carter's true colors. I really would have believed he was my salvation, my protective knight in shining armor. I still vividly remembered yesterday at the corner of the stairs. He was half-kneeling on the ground, tying a girl's shoelaces. The sunlight gilded his profile; the usually arrogant boy looked incredibly gentle and careful. I leaned against the wall, clamping a hand over my mouth. I clearly heard him say: "You really hate Chloe Vance, right? Just wait a bit longer, I'll drag her grades down." "Don't worry, I won't fall for her." "I came here for you, Audrey Miller." 2 Before I met Carter, I seemed to have never been noticed by anyone. Ever since my mom remarried, she seemed to have completely changed. She went from being my mom— To being the mom of the daughter my stepdad brought with him. At the dinner table, she would endlessly praise Audrey. "Audrey, eat some more, these are your favorite chicken wings." Mom piled all the chicken wings from the serving bowl onto my nominal step-sister's plate. Audrey glanced at me coldly, a bit disgusted. "No thanks, I'm on a diet." I looked up at my mom. The smile on her face was a little awkward. "Right, right, after all, you're so pretty, Audrey." When Mom noticed me looking at her, her face suddenly flushed red, and she angrily scolded me. "Audrey isn't like you. All you know is how to eat, eat, eat. You've gotten as fat as a pig." I lowered my head and said nothing. I was born with a stutter; it was even more obvious when I spoke in long sentences, so I couldn't be bothered to defend myself. I just buried my head and ate my rice. It was just that today's rice tasted a bit salty. I didn't know why. I clearly didn't eat that much. Why did my body inflate like a balloon, gaining weight and breaking out in severe acne? I tried suggesting that I wanted to go to the doctor for a check-up, but Mom shot me down, even twisting my ear as she scolded: "It's just puberty acne, you're making a fuss over nothing. We don't have money to take you for medical tests. You have zero sympathy for your mother and only know how to waste money." But my step-sister's dance classes were a hundred dollars a session, and she never missed a single one. My stepdad didn't like me either, but he maintained a facade of surface-level kindness. My bloated figure only further highlighted Audrey's beautiful, slender frame. I held a breath of fierce resentment in my chest. I refused to believe I was inferior to Audrey in every single way. So I studied desperately, and finally, my grades squeezed into the top fifty in the entire school, much better than Audrey, who hovered right in the middle. But when I walked home carrying a ten-pound backpack... Passing by the glass windows of a high-end, beautiful boutique... I clearly saw my mom and stepdad together, picking out a pearl hair clip for Audrey. Audrey was holding a cup of ice cream, eating it lazily. Letting my mom stand behind her on her tiptoes, brushing her hair and trying on the hair clip. I gripped my backpack straps tightly. I stood in the tidal wave of the crowd, watching them. My backpack felt so incredibly heavy in that moment, almost pressing me down so hard I couldn't take a single step. I saw the "Dairy Queen" logo on the ice cream cup Audrey was holding. I remembered a few days ago when I asked my mom for money to buy school supplies, and she viciously threw a crumpled five-dollar bill at me. I bought a scantron pencil, an eraser, and a black pen. The money was gone. The teacher's words from class echoed in my ears. "Correct your mistakes in red pen, correct them in red pen! Chloe, tell your mom to go buy you a red pen." 3 Carter was the new transfer student. As soon as he transferred to our school, he clung to me. Before the teacher even assigned him a seat, he sat down right in front of me. "Teacher, I'll just sit here." Then he turned his head and said to me. "Hi, I'm Carter. Can I borrow a pen?" As the unremarkable, chubby girl in class, this was the very first time a boy had actively struck up a conversation with me. My heart instantly felt nervous, and I even subconsciously felt a deep wave of shame. Please don't be sarcastic, and please don't laugh at me. This was the subconscious reaction of a historically ignored, self-esteem-lacking, cowardly person facing friendliness. I frantically dug through my backpack, but could only find some chipped, imperfect pens. These were all picked up from the floor while doing classroom cleaning duties. I had no allowance; my school supplies were mostly school rewards or things I found on the ground. I finally managed to dig out a black click-pen and handed it to Carter. This pen flowed with a lot of ink, and I only ever dared to use it when writing English essays. He took the pen and casually handed me a Ferrero Rocher. "Thanks. This is for you." That chocolate, wrapped in gold foil, made me panic. Back in 2015, a Ferrero Rocher was a very expensive candy to me; I had never tasted one before. I carefully tucked it into my desk cubby, planning to return it to him after class. The moment the bell rang and he stood up, I gathered my courage and called his name. Thankfully, I didn't stutter. "Carter." "Hmm? What's up?" Carter turned his head to look at me. He was tall, and stepping on the leg of his chair, I had to look up at him. The corners of his mouth carried a smile, and his eyes reflected a chubby me, a shy me. "You don't... need to... give me..." I was so pathetic, I stuttered again. He burst out laughing. Winds from all directions suddenly rushed in through the open window. The wind lifted the blue curtains, blowing them up like sails on a ship. The test papers of the students in the class fluttered up like pigeons taking flight. A piece of paper flew up and perfectly covered half of his brow and eye. He smiled at me and said. "How did you become a little stutterer?" "It's actually kind of cute..." 4 Honestly, high school students are usually very sensitive to transfer students, often rejecting them. But Carter mixed perfectly with everyone as soon as he arrived. He had an outgoing personality, a tall, handsome build, and the teachers treated him with noticeable politeness. High schoolers have a natural awe for students who come from wealthy, powerful families. Carter flawlessly integrated into the class. Between classes, boys actively invited him to play basketball, and girls would tell him what the next class was. Many people tried to get on his good side. I was sitting so close to him, yet I didn't dare say a single word to him. But Carter actively sought me out. During class, if he forgot his textbook, he would pull his chair right next to mine to share. He would naturally turn around to ask me for the homework. Somehow, we slowly became familiar with each other through this. But most of the time, Carter only talked to me during class. The second class ended, he disappeared. I didn't have any close friends, so during breaks, I mostly sat in my seat studying physics problems by myself. That was when Ethan Wright came over with a physics test paper. Ethan was our class's Academic Rep. He was tall and had clean features. But he always wore round glasses, and combined with his middle-part haircut, the other boys gave him the nickname "Teacher's Pet." He had a softer personality, so the boys didn't really like hanging out with him either. Like me, Ethan was somewhat of a social outcast in the class. Ethan brought his test paper and plopped right down in Carter's seat, then leaned in so our heads were close together to discuss the problem. The more we calculated, the closer we felt to the answer. We looked up and smiled at each other, actually feeling a bit of mutual appreciation. But right at that moment, laughter rang out in my ears. A few bored boys had wandered over to tease us. "What are you two doing?" "Dating, obviously." The moment those words left the boy's mouth... Ethan reacted like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on. He instantly shoved the test paper away from us. The thin paper was pinched by a textbook and ripped cleanly in half with a loud shhhk. Ethan's face turned beet red. I knew it wasn't the blush of shyness; it was pure embarrassment and shame. He felt ashamed of being paired up with a fat girl. The physics problem wasn't even fully solved yet, but Ethan stood up and yelled. "What kind of garbage are you talking about? I would never like Chloe." The boy next to him grinned. "Yeah, exactly, Chloe's like Porky Pig." My ears were filled with the boys' mocking laughter and Ethan's raised, defensive voice explaining himself. I gripped the pen in my hand, remaining completely silent from start to finish. My face looked calm, but I knew that the internal fortress I called self-esteem was collapsing, falling apart piece by piece. Dust and smoke rose from the ruins of my heart. I wouldn't cry. A fat person's tears wouldn't earn anyone's sympathy; it would only put me in an even more awkward, humiliating position. I just buried my head lower and lower. 5 "So what if she's chubby? That just means she eats well." Carter's magnetic, slightly raspy voice suddenly rang out. I had no idea when Carter had returned to the classroom, but he was standing right next to us. He was tall and carried an intimidating presence. Because he had just transferred, he didn't have a school uniform yet. He was wearing his own black crewneck t-shirt. A silver chain hung around his neck. It only amplified his arrogant, untamed aura. Carter was lazily spinning a small keychain on his finger, from which dangled a little white bunny. He tossed the little bunny onto my desk, as if to comfort my broken heart. Then, he lazily reached out and grabbed Ethan by the back of his collar. Sounding like he was just joking around: "Move aside, stop wasting Chloe's time. I still need her to tutor me." The boys who were teasing earlier kept pushing it: "What's up, Carter, is Chloe yours or something?" Carter shot him a lazy, sidelong glance, a careless smirk hanging on his lips. But his tone was incredibly firm and serious. "Yeah, she's mine. Got a problem?" The boy's brutal honesty choked the others into silence. "Chloe, explain this problem to me." Carter squeezed past a flushed, embarrassed Ethan. He held up his physics textbook, flipped to the chapter on reference frames, and badgered me to teach him. Ethan's face went white, then red. But intimidated by Carter, he didn't say anything. He just gripped his physics book so tightly his knuckles turned white and his veins popped. Even though the lesson on reference frames was relatively simple, I still earnestly explained the concepts to Carter. It was only halfway through my explanation that I realized something was off. I casually looked up, locking eyes with him. He wasn't looking at the problem at all. He was just resting his chin on his hand, watching me with deep interest. He had slightly downturned, world-weary eyes with dark irises that looked like polished obsidian. It made my heart race in panic. Carter was different from the other boys in class. I had been given cruel nicknames and called Miss Piggy. I had been blamed by the boys behind me for blocking their view when I was punished and made to stand in the back of the class. When it came to taking out the trash or scrubbing the sinks, the others subconsciously assigned those dirty, tiring chores to me. Because I was fat and plain, I didn't have the right to resist. When carrying heavy boxes, I had tried to say: "I don't think I can carry two classrooms' worth of textbooks by myself." The only response I got was an impatient: "Fat people are strong, stop whining." But Carter was the only one. He was the only one— Who treated me like a normal girl. An ordinary high school girl's fragile, crumbling self-esteem... In that exact moment, had finally been seen and defended.
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