One day during my pregnancy, my best friend suddenly sent me a link to a Reddit thread. The title was: [Final year of grad school. Engaged to my long-term girlfriend, but I’ve been sleeping with an undergrad.] I clicked on it, only to find the entire history of my husband’s infidelity documented right there on the screen. 1 When my best friend, Sarah, forwarded me the link, I was in the middle of editing a video for my channel. Immediately, her texts started popping up, one after another: [I think you need to see this.] [Maybe I’m just overthinking it...] [But you should probably double-check.] [Whether it’s him or not, please don’t freak out.] [Ugh, never mind. Don't read it. I’m unsending it.] [...Crap, too late to unsend.] Curiosity got the better of me, and I opened the link. The main title read: [Final year of grad school. Engaged to my long-term girlfriend, but I’ve been sleeping with an undergrad.] I couldn’t see the whole post on my mobile browser; it prompted me to download the Reddit app. It felt like a hassle, and Sarah had just told me not to look. I thought about closing the tab, but my subconscious had already hit "Download." I installed it, made a throwaway account, and logged in. The Original Poster (OP) went by the username ED_Throwaway. My heart skipped a beat. Ethan Davies. I quickly told myself that those initials were incredibly common. It had to be a coincidence. I scrolled down. At the very top of the post was a picture of a man and a woman holding hands, their fingers intertwined. The man’s hand looked awfully familiar. The first comment was OP's own backstory: [I’m finishing up my Ph.D. at Columbia. Lately, I’ve been feeling lost. I just got engaged to my girlfriend of seven years, so she’s officially my fiancée now, but I recently started sleeping with an undergrad from my department.] [I feel terrible for my fiancée, but I just can’t bring myself to let the undergrad go.] [My fiancée is very traditional and safe. The undergrad is wild and open-minded. She actually loves climbing all over me while I’m on the phone with my fiancée. I don't know if you guys can understand that kind of thrilling rush.] [We basically sleep in the same bed every night now. Explored a lot of new things together.] [She’s a sweet girl. I told her I was engaged, and she was devastated, but we agreed to break up as soon as I graduate.] The replies beneath it were ruthless: [Holy shit, dude, you’ve got a death wish.] [Having your cake and eating it too, huh?] [OP is absolute trash. I feel so bad for the fiancée.] [That undergrad is no angel either. She knows he’s taken and still plays the homewrecker.] [Aren't you terrified your fiancée will see this?] [OP, we need updates!] … After a dozen or so comments, OP replied: [Long time no see, guys. My fiancée doesn’t use Reddit. She’ll never see this.] [I read the comments. A lot of you are tearing me apart, and I know what I’m doing is messed up. Some of you told me to just let my fiancée go. But you don't understand our seven-year history. You can't just throw that away.] [I remember when I was studying for my grad school entrance exams, living in a crappy off-campus apartment. She was there every day. She cooked for me. When I wanted to puke from staring at calculus equations all night, she’d warm up a mug of milk for me and organize my messy desk. That was the moment I swore I’d marry her.] [And please don't bash the undergrad. She really is amazing. If my fiancée is a calming harbor, this girl is a wildfire. She’s brilliant, has that Ivy League glow, and her charm is intoxicating. She gives me an intense romantic experience my fiancée just can't provide.] [I just got a hand-knitted scarf from my fiancée in the mail. It’s warm and looks great. Here’s a picture. Honestly, my guilt is eating me alive.] The comments multiplied. I skimmed them. Almost all of them were insults. [Cheating scumbag. Go to hell.] [You are such a hypocrite.] [God, I hope his fiancée finds out!] [Can some hacker dox this guy? Pure trash!] But there were also people cheering him on: [Legend. Teach me your ways, bro.] [W.] [Lol, who has the better body though, the fiancée or the college girl?] 2 The photo of the scarf was sandwiched between the comments. People were actually complimenting the knitting pattern. I tapped the photo to enlarge it. Staring at the familiar gray yarn, my ears started ringing with a high-pitched whine. When I decided to knit him a scarf, I spent hours on YouTube looking up patterns before choosing this thick, durable cable-knit style. I didn't have time during the day, so I stayed up late after work every night for nearly ten days to finish it. I dug my nails into my palms and kept scrolling. OP wrote: [A lot of you are defending my fiancée. I admit, if she knew, it would destroy her. But she wouldn't be able to let go of our seven years together either. We’re childhood sweethearts, and she’s been obsessed with me forever. She has this thick journal filled with drawings and writings just about me. Her love is incredibly pure, which is why she moves me so much.] [Besides, she can't leave me. She’s getting older, she only went to an average state school, and her salary is pretty low. If we broke up, she’d have to rely on dating apps, and let’s be real, her prospects wouldn't be great.] [I can give her a very comfortable life. Our families love each other. You guys don't know the whole picture, so stop playing God and judging other people’s relationships.] … [The semester is almost over. Before winter break, I took the undergrad out to the mountains, drove down to the beach, and watched the sunrise.] [On our last night, we went absolutely crazy until dawn. I think I’ll be looking back on the taste of that night when I’m an old man.] … [I’m back in Boston now. The undergrad and I are officially broken up. Before I left, I bought her a designer bag, paid for a year’s lease on an apartment near her campus, and set up a grocery delivery subscription for her. I just want her to be okay and find a good guy someday.] … [Probably won't update anymore. Not much left to say. I’ll graduate, start my career, get married, and have kids.] My hands were shaking as I swiped down. OP hadn't updated for a long time. The comments were full of people begging for an update, wanting to know what happened. I did the math. During the two or three years he stopped posting, we had gotten married. And just this year, we successfully started trying for a baby. I was currently three months pregnant. But then, a month ago, the updates resumed. [Three years later, I’m back. I see some of the old commenters are still here. Even though you’re just here to roast me, it feels strangely comforting. I’m facing a massive dilemma right now and need some advice.] [I married my fiancée two years ago. My career is taking off, my home life is perfect, and I’m going to be a dad soon.] [But I never expected the undergrad to reach out to me again. She’s been in the workforce for a year, and recently, she got transferred to Boston. She lives just thirty minutes from my office. Since she didn't know anyone in the city, I helped her find an apartment and move her stuff. I really only meant to be friends. But we had drinks at her new place to celebrate, got drunk, and slept together again.] [She hugged me and said she’s still in love with me. She doesn’t have a boyfriend. Honestly? Being confessed to like that… of course my heart skipped a beat. But I’m not a college kid anymore. I can’t just recklessly chase romance.] … [I thought about it all week. I’ve decided to keep seeing her. I really just can't let her go. And she doesn't even care that I have a wife and a kid on the way. How could any guy resist a girl like that?] [Even though I’m seeing her, I won't neglect my wife. I’ll just treat her even better.] [I’ve spent the last few nights at her place. I feel that intense, heart-pounding passion all over again.] [Late at night, the guilt hits me. I lied to my wife, told her I had to travel for business. Not only did she buy it, but she even texted to make sure I was eating well and getting enough sleep on the road.] [Pregnancy is hard on my wife. I’ll spend some quality time with her when I get back. I’ll hold off on seeing my girl for a bit.] … [Stop trying to dox me. Even if you find my wife and tell her the truth, she’ll just cry for a while. She can’t leave me. She quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom, and she’s carrying my child. How is she supposed to survive without me?] [If you guys actually pity my wife, back off. She’s had terrible morning sickness for three months, and she’s finally keeping food down. Do not harass her with this.] 3 Having read the whole thing, my mind was entirely blank. I had no idea how to react. I just sat there, staring blankly at my phone. This morning, Ethan had told me he was working late and not to wait up. He was a project manager now, so overtime was a daily routine. I had never once suspected a thing. But now... I hit the FaceTime button on his contact. It rang for a full minute. He didn't answer. A few seconds later, he called me back on a regular voice call. "Hey babe, why aren't you asleep yet?" Ethan’s voice was low and gravelly. Usually, I would assume he was just exhausted from work. Suddenly, Ethan let out a muffled groan. The words of concern died on my lips. I remembered the line from the Reddit post: The undergrad loves climbing all over me while I’m on the phone with my fiancée. I gripped my phone tightly, forcing my voice to sound perfectly calm. "Honey, is there someone else there with you?" "...What? No, of course not. I'm just swamped with work." "When are you coming home?" "I'm not sure. You should get some sleep. It's good for the baby. Night, babe." Ethan hastily hung up. I stared at the call duration. Less than a minute. I felt completely numb. Suddenly, my stomach violently churned. An overwhelming wave of nausea climbed up my throat. I sprinted to the bathroom, hugging the toilet, and threw up until I was dry-heaving. After rinsing my mouth, I curled up on my side in bed. Tears slipped out of the corners of my eyes, dropping onto the back of my hand. I rested my hand on my slightly rounded stomach, feeling more lost than I ever had in my entire life. "Baby, what is Mommy supposed to do?" … A little while later, Sarah called. "Chloe, are you okay?" Hearing her voice broke whatever dam I had left. I started sobbing. "Sarah..." "Chloe, is the thread real?" I shook my head, even though she couldn't see me. "I don't know for sure, but there are way too many details that line up perfectly." Sarah gritted her teeth through the phone. "That piece of shit! Ethan is definitely guilty! Do you want me to come over and stay with you tonight?" I sniffled. "No, you have work in the morning. Let me just be alone and think." "Okay, but you have to hold it together. We are figuring this out. You cannot let him keep you in the dark," Sarah said, her voice burning with righteous anger. "I know." 4 For the sake of the baby in my belly, I forced myself to suppress the spiraling negative emotions and eventually drifted off to sleep. I didn't even hear Ethan come home. When I opened my eyes the next morning, I looked at the man sleeping soundly next to me. My chest physically ached. Ethan’s eyelashes fluttered, and he woke up groggily. I pretended I had just woken up too. He pulled me into a hug, burying his face in the crook of my neck, mumbling, "Let's sleep a little longer." "What time did you get in last night?" I asked casually. His voice was muffled against my skin. "I don't remember. Why?" I tested the waters. "Are you hiding anything from me?" A long silence passed. Finally, he replied, "No." I didn't say anything else. A few minutes later, Ethan was fully awake. He looked at me intently. "Babe, what could I possibly be hiding from you? Are your pregnancy hormones making you sensitive? Why are you being so paranoid?" He studied my face, looking genuinely concerned. "You look pale. Is the baby giving you a hard time again?" "No, I'm fine. Probably just didn't sleep well," I answered quietly, looking down. But there was a suffocating weight pressing down on my chest. Ethan didn't press the issue. He got up to shower. When he came out, he said, "Pregnant women need their rest. Go back to sleep. I ordered you some breakfast on UberEats, it’ll be here soon. I'm going to grab something near the office." As he reached the front door, I called out, "Do you have time this weekend? To come with me to my ultrasound appointment?" Ethan paused, looking torn. "Babe, you know that new project is at a critical stage. I can't guarantee I'll be free this weekend, but I’ll try my absolute best to leave early and go with you." When the weekend arrived, Ethan still couldn't "make time," so I had to ask Sarah to go with me. Seeing my pale face, Sarah cut right to the chase. "Where are we at with the situation? What did Ethan say?" I felt a flash of embarrassment. "I haven't figured out how to confront him yet." Sarah looked exasperated. "What's there to figure out? You throw the Reddit thread in his face and ask him if it's him! Or demand to see his phone!" "If you can't do it, I'll do it for you. I'm coming over to your place tonight and sitting him down!" My mind was a chaotic mess. "No! I'll handle it," I quickly shot down her idea. Sarah sighed heavily. "Chloe, please, whatever you do, do not go soft on him. Do not let him manipulate you." After that, by unspoken agreement, neither of us brought it up again. Following the ultrasound, we had plenty of time to kill, so Sarah and I went to the shopping mall next to the clinic. The mall was full of designer boutiques. On the second floor was Sarah’s favorite clothing brand, so we headed straight there. While Sarah was in the fitting room, I went to use the restroom. As soon as I walked in, I saw a very young, pretty girl touching up her makeup while on the phone. She was talking to who I assumed was her boyfriend, her voice sickly sweet and whining. "What time do you get off for lunch?" "It’s my birthday today! You belong to me for the whole afternoon and evening!" Whoever was on the other end said something, and her eyes crinkled into a delighted smile. I caught a quick glimpse of her in the mirror from the corner of my eye. The mirror reflected a face as fresh and vibrant as a blooming flower. 5 After leaving the boutique, Sarah was thrilled with her haul. But before we even made it out the mall doors, her boss called, demanding she revise a proposal immediately. Sarah groaned, cursing her boss under her breath. She looked at me apologetically. "Chloe, I have to rush back to the office. I can't do lunch. Will you be okay by yourself?" I nodded. "Of course. Go." Once Sarah left, I completely lost the mood to shop. I bought some groceries on the lower level and decided to head home. I hailed a cab outside the mall. Just as I settled into the back seat, I saw her. The young girl from the restroom was sprinting toward a specific direction. My eyes followed her path, and I was completely blindsided when I saw Ethan. The girl threw herself into his arms, looping her arms around his neck, completely ignoring the people walking by, and kissed him deeply and passionately. In that instant, it felt like I had been plunged into an ice bath. Every last shred of hope I had been clinging to vanished. Ethan quickly ushered her into his car, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. I just sat there, staring blankly. The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror. "Where to, miss?" I snapped back to reality. "Follow that car." For the rest of the afternoon, my brain shut down. I acted like a stalker, following them to a high-end restaurant, watching them share a birthday cake, trailing them to a movie theater, and finally, watching them check into a hotel. I don't even know how I got home. I curled up on the sofa, completely numb. Ethan and I had grown up together. Our parents were close friends who spent a lot of time together. He was my first crush when I was just a kid, and it had always been him ever since. With our parents' eager encouragement, we officially started dating right after high school. We went to different colleges, but we stayed in the same city. For four years, our relationship was rock solid. We rarely fought, except for one incident during our junior year, when he started wavering over a girl in his class. I knew him too well. It was obvious he treated that girl differently. He talked about her constantly, and suddenly there were cute stickers on his phone case that I had never seen before. We had our first explosive argument. Our first cold war. I didn't want to lose him. I couldn't throw away years of love, so I was the first to apologize and back down. He eventually cut ties with the girl. Later, when he was studying for grad school, he complained about the distractions on campus. I immediately used the money from my internship to rent him an apartment off-campus, working during the day and taking care of him at night. When he finally got his acceptance letter to Columbia, he held me and sobbed, saying he could never have made it without me. Ethan moved to New York for his Ph.D., and I stayed working in Boston. We became long-distance. I was the one making the commute most of the time. Partly because I missed him, and partly because I was terrified his eyes would wander again. Thankfully, my fears never materialized. Looking back now, it wasn't that they didn't materialize. He just got better at hiding it. We got engaged during his final year, and a year after he graduated and secured a solid job, we got married. This year, he got a huge promotion. We had built up a nice savings account, so we decided it was time to start a family. When he asked me to quit my job and focus entirely on the home and the baby, I barely hesitated before saying yes. I gave him my complete, unconditional trust, only to be rewarded with the most blatant betrayal. 6 The living room was pitch black and terrifyingly quiet. I stared blankly at the rug. Hours later, I heard footsteps at the door. The next second, the living room lights flicked on. The brightness stung my eyes. Ethan frowned for a second, then his face softened. "Babe, why aren't you sleeping in bed?" I just stared at him. He dropped his briefcase, walked over with long strides, and scooped me up in his arms. My arm brushed against the hair at the back of his neck. It was damp. He had showered. "What's wrong? Why are your eyes so red?" "Did everything go okay at the doctor today?" He fired off a string of questions. I didn't answer a single one. He looked at me in confusion, then suddenly looked like he understood. "Are you mad I couldn't make the appointment?" Before I could speak, he kept going. "I told you, this project is make-or-break for me. If I crush this, I'm next in line for Director. You want me to get that promotion, right?" Looking at this man—a man whose mouth was currently overflowing with lies—I just felt an bone-deep exhaustion. "I saw you. With her," I took a deep breath and punctured his illusion. Ethan froze. His eyes darted around the room as he desperately tried to maintain the lie. "Babe, what are you talking about?" "Do I need to spell it out? I followed you. The kissing. The birthday cake. The hotel!" I lost control, screaming at him and pounding my fists against his chest. All the color drained from Ethan’s face. He grabbed my wrists, panic in his voice. "Just listen to me, I can explain—" He stopped. He couldn't find a single excuse. Tears were streaming down my face, but I laughed, goading him. "Go ahead! Explain! Let's hear it!" He slumped forward, hanging his head. A moment later, he looked up, his eyes pleading. "Chloe, I messed up. I'll cut her off right now. Please, just give me one more chance. Please?" I shook my head violently. "No. I don't believe a word you say anymore. I want a divorce." Ethan’s eyes rimmed with red. He gripped my hands tighter, his voice choking up. "Chloe, I don't want a divorce. We have a baby on the way. Do you really want our child to grow up without a dad? Let's just calm down, okay?" His eyes were filled with such profound, agonizing regret. It looked so genuine it was almost impossible to reject. After a long time, my expression softened just a fraction. Ethan saw the opening and doubled down. He pulled out his phone, and right there in front of me, he blocked the college girl on every single app and platform. He was putting on a masterclass in repentance. I didn't bring up divorce again that night, but I couldn't stand being in the same room as him. I packed a bag and went to my parents' house. Ethan texted me constantly, asking how I was, asking about the baby, begging to know when I was coming home. But he never actually came to visit me. While I was at my parents', Sarah called. She spent twenty minutes cursing Ethan and his entire bloodline. Her stance was uncompromising: Divorce him. No hesitation. But I was still trapped in a fog of indecision. Sarah was furious with my hesitation. A few days later, she texted me the Reddit link again with just two words: "He updated." I clicked the link. Sure enough, there was a new post. I hadn't told Ethan that I knew about his Reddit diary. And now, this thread had become the ultimate lie detector. It burned away the last of his fake remorse, and along with it, the very last drop of love and trust I had for him. Ethan wrote: [My wife found out about the undergrad. It’s a mess. She had a hysterical breakdown crying, and honestly, it broke my heart to see her like that.] [I promised my wife I’d cut ties with the girl. I blocked all her numbers and socials right in front of my wife.] [I haven't contacted the undergrad in days. I wonder if she’s freaking out because she can't reach me.] Someone commented: [The scumbag finally got caught. Your wife is definitely divorcing you, right?] Ethan replied to him: [She was screaming for a divorce at first. But like I said before, she relies on me financially and emotionally. I’ve already smoothed things over. She absolutely will not bring up divorce again.] His arrogant, chauvinistic response triggered another wave of internet outrage. Ethan didn't care about the insults. In his mind, netizens were just venting. Their words couldn't touch him in the real world. Over the next few weeks, I spent my days drawing, updating my social media accounts, and checking Ethan’s Reddit thread. Thanks to his little diary, I finally saw the real Ethan. The one he kept hidden from me. Arrogant. Two-faced. Disgusting. One night, right after Ethan sent his daily text checking on me and the baby, he updated the thread. [It’s been almost half a month without talking to the undergrad. I was too worried about her, so I finally went to see her. She’s so understanding. I iced her out for two weeks, and she didn't throw a tantrum or cry. It just makes me care about her even more.] [And guys... she’s pregnant! I’m thrilled! I really want her to keep it. But it feels unfair to her. The kid would technically be illegitimate.] [I took her to a private clinic for a full check-up today. Everything looks perfect. Illegitimate or not, whatever. I’ll make sure she and the kid are taken care of financially. They won't suffer.]
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