My boyfriend accidentally mirrored his chats to the TV. "She’s great. Very suitable for marriage." "No need to buy her gifts, no need to coax her, and no need to pay a bridal price." "Even without love, I can still have a good life." 1. "How about we go to Napa Valley? I saw this incredibly beautiful bed and breakfast online." I enthusiastically pulled up the itinerary I had spent hours putting together. Before I could even hand my phone to Declan, he had already pushed my arm away. His handsome face was completely emotionless. No impatience, but no interest either. Just like always. As calm as a pool of dead water. "You book it. I don't really care. I'm going to the restroom." Declan stood up and left. I sheepishly pulled my phone back. He was great in every way. Good-looking, good temper, good job, and he treated me well enough. It was just that his personality was a bit too cold. At such a young age, he acted like a monk with no earthly desires. We had been together for so long, and I had never seen him lose his temper. Of course, I had never seen him laugh out loud either. He was a stereotypical, stoic straight man! I grumbled internally for a moment. Somehow, the B&B that looked so beautiful a minute ago now just seemed ordinary. Feeling disheartened, I put my phone down and lay on the couch, glancing at the TV. The TV was playing an American drama that Declan really liked. He had even paid for a pirated resource online to watch it. The male lead was in the middle of a monologue when the screen suddenly switched, and an iMessage window popped up. "Dec, I heard you're getting engaged next month? That's awesome, man. Why didn't you tell the boys?" I recognized that avatar. Was that Declan's college roommate, Carter? 2. My curiosity was piqued. In all the years we had been together, I had never looked at Declan's phone. On one hand, Declan was a very disciplined person. He lived a simple life, had a clean social circle, and I trusted him. On the other hand, he was very protective of his privacy and boundaries. He deeply resented the idea of partners checking each other's phones. But this time, he was the one who accidentally mirrored his screen. Of course I was going to take a good look. Declan was getting engaged, and he hadn't even told a single friend? I rolled my eyes. That was so like him. Declan: "Nothing to talk about. Just an engagement." Carter: "Same girl, right? Still Audrey?" Declan: "Yeah." Carter: "Figured. Aside from her, who else could tolerate your personality?" "Audrey really puts up with a lot!" I nodded in deep agreement. Having a block of wood for a boyfriend—someone who understood nothing about romance or taking care of people... These past few years really hadn't been easy. Carter: "I remember when you two got together, it was just so you could get over Lily. But Audrey's temper is 100 times better than Lily's." "Audrey's temper is seriously amazing." "That time it was her birthday, and you couldn't leave your raid group. She waited at the restaurant alone for two hours and didn't even get mad." "Back when you dated Lily, you were always 20 minutes early. If you were even one minute late, Lily would throw a massive tantrum." 3. Lily? Declan's ex-girlfriend, Lily? I stared blankly at the TV, my mind completely empty. She and Declan went to high school together and started dating their freshman year. Declan and I were college classmates, but I remembered they broke up during the first semester of our freshman year. Declan was devastated at the time. He got blackout drunk at a restaurant and threw up all over me as I was walking by. That was how we met, but we didn't really start talking until we joined the same club our sophomore year. What Carter was saying... He had been broken up for over a year and still wasn't over it, so he used me as a rebound to heal his broken heart? And the birthday incident was even more absurd. Declan didn't even explain himself at the time. He just said he had something extremely important to do. He had been preparing for it for months and absolutely couldn't leave. Declan loved writing. At the time, he was constantly submitting to a magazine, but kept getting rejected. I knew he had been working on one novel for a year. So when he was late, I naturally assumed it was something related to his career. I never expected it was because he was doing a video game raid... Hahahaha, yeah, some game raids do take months to prepare for. He didn't lie to me. I let out a dry laugh. Laughing until the tears started falling. Carter's words were truly enlightening. So Declan was the kind of person who showed up early for dates? All these years, because his job was "busy," our dates always consisted of me waiting for him. 20 minutes, 40 minutes, an hour. I got so used to waiting that eventually, I started intentionally arriving half an hour late. 4. Declan: "She has a good temper. Very suitable for marriage." Carter: "I'll agree with that. When we were young, I envied the passionate, fiery love you and Lily had. But now that we're older, I realize that being with a gentle, generous girl like Audrey, someone who doesn't nitpick over everything, is so much easier." I rubbed my eyes. Declan was finally complimenting me. But why were my tears flowing even harder? Declan was a very reserved and traditional person. He rarely expressed affirmation or love toward me. If I asked him if I was pretty or if my outfit looked good, his answer was always a flat "It's fine." In our seven years together, he had never even said "I love you." Whenever I asked, he would change the subject, saying that real men didn't hang romantic words on their lips, that it was boring. So the "boring" Declan actually had a passionate, fiery love once upon a time? Passionate and fiery. Passionate and fiery... Tears blurred my vision. I wiped them away fiercely, lifting my head to keep reading the screen. Carter: "Since you're getting married, treat her well from now on." "The guys and I had a bet going on when you'd finally drive Audrey away." Declan: "Relax, she won't leave." 5. Declan sure was confident. Where did that confidence come from? That confidence... I suppose I gave it to him. Late for dates? It's fine, I understand, it's just work. Forgot my birthday? It's okay, people make mistakes. Never celebrated any other holidays. I wanted to respect his preferences. If he didn't like celebrating, I could just celebrate by myself. So for every Valentine's Day and Christmas, I would buy myself a bouquet of flowers and go out for a nice meal. "You can like rituals, but you can't force someone else to have rituals." "It's not wrong that you like celebrating holidays, and it's not wrong that I hate them. We should understand and respect each other." After Declan seriously said these things to me, he refused to celebrate any holidays with me, except for my birthday. Carter: "You and Audrey are from the same city, right? I remember engagement customs there are super complicated." "You have to prepare return gifts, the engagement ring, the formal wear, and book a banquet for a dozen tables. Have you got all that sorted?" Declan: "I don't need to manage that. She'll handle it." Carter: "Damn, you're a lucky guy! You literally don't have to lift a finger!" I smiled bitterly. Carter was absolutely right. When it came to the engagement, it really felt like I was the only one organizing everything. After seven years of dating, my parents said I wasn't getting any younger and needed to start planning for marriage and kids. So I had my parents call Declan's parents. Their attitude was the same as Declan's. You pick the date, you book the restaurant. When the time comes, we will definitely show up. 6. Carter: "Oh right, I heard the bridal prices in your area are super high, like tens of thousands of dollars. How much did Audrey's family ask for?" Declan: "Her family didn't bring it up. What era are we in? That's just outdated patriarchal nonsense." Carter: "...So if her family doesn't ask, your family just isn't giving one?" "Wow! Does Audrey have any sisters? Can you introduce me to one?" Declan: "Boring." I pulled out a tissue to dry my tears and took a large gulp of water. I had cried so hard my throat was a little hoarse. The "clear and detached" Declan had the same bad habit as every other man: once he went to the bathroom, he wouldn't come out for half an hour. Regarding the engagement, Declan's family hadn't said a word. The implication was that I should arrange everything, and they would just show up to eat. I booked the banquet. I picked the return gifts. I even bought the suit Declan was going to wear to the dinner. Whenever I asked Declan for his opinion, it was always the same. "You decide. Whatever you like is fine. I don't care." Thinking back on it now, was it that he didn't care about these things, or did he not care about me? Carter: "Oh, I almost forgot the main thing. Lily is getting married. She sent us all invitations." "She said she deleted your contact info back then, so she asked me for your number. I figure she'll be sending you an invite soon." 7. The TV audio continued playing. Declan exited the chat, and the sound of the toilet flushing echoed from the bathroom. I half-lowered my head, pretending to look at my phone, not saying a word. Declan walked out of the bathroom expressionless, seemingly completely unaware that I had just read his entire conversation. He sat silently beside me, not even glancing my way. Naturally, he didn't notice my swollen eyes and red nose. Ring, ring~ His phone rang. I caught a glimpse; it was an unknown number. Declan answered the phone, his voice trembling slightly: "Hello, speaking." "Yeah, congratulations." "Okay, I'll be there on time." Was that Lily's call? A chilling wave spread from my heart to my fingertips. I knew Declan too well. In all our years together, the last time I saw him this nervous was when he received a call from his company's CEO. At the time, he was competing with someone else for a VP position. He had prepared for a whole year for that role. Declan hung up the phone. His expression was calm, but his hand gripped the phone with immense force. He squeezed so hard the veins on the back of his hand bulged, a glaring sight. "Audrey." Declan softened his tone. "Last time you showed me a few suits, I didn't look closely. Send me the links." I snapped my head up, staring at him dead in the eye. 8. Declan was startled by my red, swollen eyes. For once, his voice carried a trace of warmth: "What's wrong? Your eyes are as red as a rabbit's. Was the TV show that moving?" "You, always so sentimental." He patted my head affectionately. In the past, I would have thrown myself into his arms and acted cute. Now, I merely shifted my body slightly, dodging his outstretched hand. A flash of displeasure appeared in Declan's eyes. "Come here." He patted the sofa. Declan had grown up as the "golden child"—good-looking, good grades. The teacher's pet, the students' role model, his parents' pride. These experiences forged a personality where his word was law. Furthermore, influenced by his father, he possessed a heavy dose of toxic masculinity. My personality was gentle, and I rarely went against his wishes. But this time, I was holding onto a breath of suffocating anger. I absolutely did not want to entertain him. Seeing that I wasn't moving, Declan got angry. He stood up, walked back to the bedroom, and slammed the door hard. The old me would have been incredibly anxious, rushing to comfort and appease him. The current me just sat blankly on the sofa, beginning to recall our seven years together. As a man, Declan was undeniably attractive. He had a handsome face and kept himself in perfect shape. He was a man who held himself to incredibly high standards. No smoking, no drinking, early to bed, early to rise, exercising every day. He worked hard, was highly ambitious, disciplined, and smart. 9. But if Declan didn't treat me well, what did all his good qualities have to do with me? I lowered my head, seriously contemplating our relationship for the first time. I liked him. The first time I saw him, I couldn't help but fall for him. Declan was my first boyfriend. First time holding hands, first time hugging, first kiss. The most beautiful, youthful years of my life were entirely spent walking by his side. He was so perfect. So perfect that when I was with him, I always carried a trace of an inferiority complex. It was this insecurity that made me retreat step by step, erasing my temper, leading to my current situation. Seven years of living together—to me, he was unforgettable. But to him, I was merely... suitable for marriage. Soon, Declan walked back out with a dark expression. "Remember to send me the suit links." I actually laughed. He hadn't even spared a glance at the suit he was supposed to wear for our engagement. But now that he was attending his ex-girlfriend's wedding, he suddenly knew how to shop for clothes. "I don't have them. I deleted them." Declan shot me a look of pure astonishment, finally noticing my abnormal behavior. "What's going on? Throwing a tantrum?" "Things not going well at work?" "If work isn't going well, don't take it out on me. We're all adults here; process your external emotions outside." "I don't want to be your punching bag. You need to do some self-reflection." Declan poured himself a glass of water and retreated to the bedroom. From today onward, we officially entered a cold war. 10. I never expected that Lily's fiancé would turn out to be my coworker. My coworker sent me a digital invitation. I stared at the photo on it for a long time. It really is a small world... Lily's wedding was on the weekend. Declan finally ended our cold war and spoke to me first thing in the morning. "Give me a thousand dollars." Since graduating, Declan had proactively handed his salary card over to me. He said that a family could only maintain maximum stability if the woman managed the finances. Declan... he had genuinely intended to marry me. I pulled out a thousand dollars in cash from the drawer and handed it to him. Then, I watched coldly as he washed his hair, shaved, and meticulously styled himself. "I rarely see you dressed up this formally. Going to the office today?" Declan paused while polishing his shoes. "Yeah, I have a business meeting. It's very important." "I'm leaving now. I won't be back for lunch or dinner." I took a deep breath, sat in front of the mirror, and applied a stunningly vibrant, striking makeup look. Declan, see you at the wedding. The wedding was very modest. The groom's family was from a rural town, and the reception was held in a massive tent set up in their community hall. This was my first time visiting Charlie's hometown, which surprised me. Because Charlie usually spent money like water and paid a lot of attention to his appearance, I had always assumed he was a trust fund kid. Rural banquets were always livelier than city ones—aunts and uncles everywhere, eating, checking out the bride, asking for wedding favors. Lily was wearing a very fitted mermaid wedding dress, revealing her proud curves and a large expanse of pale, delicate skin. 11. I mingled in the crowd of onlookers and quickly spotted Declan. He was walking slowly but firmly toward Lily, step by step. His expression was sacred and solemn, like a devout believer on a pilgrimage. Seeing Declan, Lily also grew emotional, her eyes quickly turning red. Declan handed Lily a thick red envelope. "Long time no see. Happy wedding." Lily bit her lip, looking at Declan with a complex expression. She seemed very happy, yet tinged with a bit of sadness. "Long time no see, Dec." Soon, other guests began arriving. Declan stepped aside, staring intently at Lily, savoring every passing second. He looked so focused and serious, as if after today, he would never see this person again. How hilarious. If he just looked around, he would realize I was standing very close to him. "This Charlie's wife doesn't look like a decent woman at all. Showing so much skin, who is she trying to show off for?" "Ugh, exactly. With so many people around, showing half her chest. I'm too embarrassed to even look at her." "People from the big city are so open. I heard they're only getting married because she's pregnant. Otherwise, the Smith family would never accept this daughter-in-law!" It seemed I was standing entirely among the groom's rural relatives. In just a few minutes, my ears were filled with gossip. Um, at the time, I heard Lily was the one who dumped Declan, complaining he was cheap and unromantic. But it seemed her new in-laws were a tough crowd to deal with... I quickly found my seat and sat down. How ridiculous. Before, I was constantly fantasizing in my head about what I should say to Declan if he saw me. I didn't expect that to be a total non-issue. He was completely lost in his own world, completely devastated. He didn't even react when his friends called him while standing right next to him, let alone spot me in a bustling crowd. 12. The banquet soon began. I saw more expressions on Declan's face for the first time than I had in our seven years together. In just a few short minutes. Loss, sorrow, nostalgia, joy, confusion, bitterness, regret... Looking at Declan now, I suddenly understood. He never loved me. That was why he never got angry, never argued, never got jealous. I thought he was easygoing, aloof, and stoic. The reality was simply because he didn't love me. Because he didn't love me, he didn't want to spend time with me. Because he didn't care, he had no emotional fluctuations regarding me. Because he was indifferent, everything had to be done his way. The moment I realized this, beneath the heartbreak, I mostly felt a wave of relief. Like a prisoner awaiting sentencing, finally hearing the final verdict. "Oh my god, Audrey, why are you crying?" "Hahaha, were you moved? There's no need, absolutely no need. Don't you know what kind of person Charlie is? The way he spends money... I heard to pursue this current wife, he maxed out over a dozen credit cards. I bet he's close to a hundred grand in debt right now." "Dating was romantic. Five-star hotels, global travel, designer bags." "But after they're married, the girl is probably going to have to help him pay off his debts." "Cough, cough~" I choked on my own saliva, shocked as I listened to my coworkers start loudly gossiping about Charlie.
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