For a prank on a variety show, the producers made me unblock the first person on my phone's blacklist and send a greeting. I bit the bullet, pulled my ex-boyfriend out of the block list, and sent: "Hi." The other side instantly exploded. "Oh, what a rare honor! You finally letting me out for some fresh air? "Spit it out, what do you need from me? "Harper Vance, if you're begging to get back together right now, I'll tell you a secret. "Can you reply? If you don't reply, I'm putting you back on the blacklist! "Whatever, I'll just tell you. Your daughter gave birth. Are you going to come back and see her or not?" The live chat: [Contact name Ashton Cole? The Best Actor Ashton Cole?! DAUGHTER???] 1 Guys, I am completely stupefied right now. I have absolutely no idea how to clean up this mess. Before I came here, nobody told me this variety show was so authentic that there wasn't even a basic script. I figured Ashton Cole would have blocked me a long time ago. Who knew he’d reply so fast, it was like he was sitting on top of a Wi-Fi router. And the guy was losing his mind. "You used to ignore me, but the me of today is out of your league! "No, seriously, is it a felony to reply to a text where you are? "Don't tell me you lost a game of Truth or Dare. I don't believe it. You just miss me. "If you block me again, I will literally go hang myself under an overpass with your daughter. "Okay, okay, you intentionally sent one word just to bait me, right? Fine, I took the bait, now reel me in!" The continuous buzzing of my phone didn't just make my palm numb. I felt like my brain was going numb, too. The speed at which the live chat was scrolling was terrifying. [Ashton Cole?! This has to be a prank!] [Don't tell me my husband is actually involved with this D-list actress. Harper Vance will do anything for clout!] [This is 100% scripted. They're so brave, casually joking about having a daughter. God knows who's actually on the other end of that phone. If it's really Ashton Cole, I'll do a handstand and eat dirt!] [Upstairs, stop trying to scam a free meal.] [The contrast is so cute! It's actually kind of sweet. Pure neutral bystander here, waiting for the plot twist.] The show host seemed unable to watch me suffer any longer. He quietly reminded me, "So, Harper, shouldn't you reply with something?" I nodded and typed back to Ashton: "I'm on a show. Lost a game." I hoped he would understand. I was filming a show! Ashton replied instantly. Without a single second of hesitation: "No. I don't believe you." [LMAO, the ultimate denier.] [If this is really Ashton Cole, I will laugh at him for the rest of my life. Mr. Cold and Aloof?] [Harper Vance waking up in the middle of the night: No, seriously, is there something wrong with his brain?!] 2 As for how the show finally ended, my memory is a hazy blur. Unsurprisingly, when I opened X (formerly Twitter), the top trending topics were all about me. #HarperVanceCloutChaser! #Breaking!HarperVanceRumoredToBeBestActor'sEx# #TheUntoldStoryOfHarperVanceAndAshtonCole# The further I scrolled, the more absurd it got. #HarperVanceSecretChild# #HarperVanceAge38DivorcedWithTwoKids# Seeing this, I posted a tweet: "There are many people in the world with the exact same name." Whatever. I already have plenty of haters, one more scandal won't hurt. I'll just treat it as if I intentionally used the Best Actor for clout. Meanwhile, my manager, Maggie, had lost her mind. She was delirious with joy. She ran over, grinning from ear to ear, telling me exactly how many brands had already contacted her. I couldn't even force a fake smile. I muttered under my breath, "I'm afraid you're celebrating too early." After all, I was the one who dumped Ashton Cole. Who knows if he'll be so angry when he sees the trending topics that he'll want to kill me. And that so-called "daughter"? It was actually a Samoyed we raised together when we were dating, named Billi. When we broke up, we each took one dog. The one I took is named Milli. Maggie asked me, "This is such huge news, you've gone viral, Harper! Why aren't you smiling?" I patted Maggie's shoulder and sighed. "You know me. I'm just not a smiler." For two days, Ashton didn't come looking for trouble. He also didn't go out of his way to clear up the rumors online. I was confused. Even if he wasn't online, what was his PR team doing? However, on the third day, his Twitter account, which hadn't been updated in a year, posted a highly passive-aggressive photo and caption. "My daughter gave birth, and her baby mama didn't even come to take a single look. "It's fine. I'm not tired, just cursed with a hard life." The attached photo showed Billi with two newborn puppies. [Bro, who is the baby mama?!] [Please don't tell me it's actually Harper Vance.] [If it really is Harper Vance, I'll accept her as my sister-in-law right now. I honestly think she's pretty.] Ashton actually replied to that third comment. He said: "I'm still on probation. Can't say who it is. I don't want to get blocked again. (Folded hands emoji)" I was done. What the hell was he trying to do?! Stop torturing me, just give me a quick death! Right when everyone was frantically guessing who the "sister-in-law" was. The girl-next-door actress, Blair Sterling, posted a tweet. Caption: "Bought some dog food for my baby, dropped by to visit a friend's newborn puppies on the way~" Attached photo: She was wearing a white dress, holding a basket of dog treats, posing in a carefully calculated, flattering angle. 3 For the entire month of Billi's postpartum recovery... I mailed her tons of supplements, various treats, and toys. After all, she was the fur baby I raised with my own hands. If it weren't for the fact that I genuinely didn't want to see Ashton, I definitely would have gone to visit her. Later, I learned from Ashton that Billi was pregnant with Milli's puppies. One day, when I was walking Milli, he got super excited and sneaked off for half an hour. It just so happened that Billi had also run away during that exact same time frame, and later Ashton discovered she was pregnant. The internet has no memory. A month was enough time for everyone to forget a lot of things. I thought my drama with Ashton would finally die down. But unexpectedly, Maggie booked me on a live-streamed variety show. It was a pet-themed show called Furry Family, which had already aired one episode with great reviews. Relying on my sixth sense, I cautiously asked, "This show... Ashton Cole isn't going to be on it, is he?" "He is! The production team specifically asked for you, figuring they could milk the leftover hype between you two. If Ashton wasn't on it, we wouldn't have snagged such a lucky break." I wanted to cry without tears. You can keep this lucky break. See if you dare take it! Ugh. I pour my heart out to you, and you play mind games with me. Ultimately, crushed by the threat of a massive breach of contract fee, I went on the show. It was absolutely not because they paid me too much! The first day of filming. I had to get up at the crack of dawn. It was so early I wanted to scream. I felt the profound rage of a corpse having its coffin lid ripped off. But I really needed the cash. So, I apologized to my utterly worthless resentment. [Why is she here? Don't tell me she's here for our Ashton!] [Can Harper Vance just leave the industry? No specific reason, I just can't stand her.] The moment I stepped on screen, I received a grand chorus of insults. It couldn't be helped. That's how it is when you're incredibly popular. I'm used to it. I could tolerate Ashton being on the show, but Blair was here too. [Our Blair hid this so well! When did she get a dog behind our backs?] [Toxic shippers back off, our Blair and the Best Actor are the only true match.] [Curious, was Blair really visiting the Best Actor's daughter last time?] Actually, when I scrolled past her tweet back then, I was confused too. I had a rather unpleasant experience working with Blair once. There was a Golden Retriever acting on set, and Blair's behavior clearly showed she disliked dogs. How could she possibly own one? 4 Besides the three of us, there were two other guests. The five of us came onto the set first. The dogs were with the production crew. The crew arranged an opening mini-game. The five of us stood behind a screen, letting the dogs find their own owners. When Billi and Milli came out, the two dogs immediately rubbed their faces together affectionately. Standing behind the same screen, Ashton gave me a deeply meaningful look. The two dogs cuddled for a bit, then walked straight toward my side. [These two dogs look like they're on a dating show.] [Huh? I feel like they know each other really well. Have they met before?] [The person upstairs loves to overthink. A dog is just like its owner. Harper Vance's dog is just as shameless as she is. Am I the only one who thinks this is disgusting?] [Yes, it's just you. Build up some good karma, will you? We all know you have a mouth, you don't need to prove it.] The live chat erupted into a fierce and unfriendly debate over this. Meanwhile, Billi and Milli were already standing on either side of me. I gave Ashton a look, signaling him to take Billi away. He pretended not to see it, playing dumb. Equally out of the loop was Blair's Border Collie, named Cubby. Billi and Milli stuck to me, and the other guests' dogs found their parents. Only Cubby was wandering around the perimeter, refusing to go near Blair. Blair looked embarrassed and called out softly, "Cubby." Cubby remained completely unmoved. Blair raised her voice a bit. Cubby stood in place, pondering for a moment. Then, he slowly ambled over to Ashton's side. [Aren't Border Collies supposed to be super smart? Why does it feel like Cubby doesn't know Blair?] [Cubby went to Ashton! Does Ashton play with Cubby a lot off-camera?] [Oooooh~ I knew it. I totally ship it.] The production crew spoke up, telling us to each retrieve our own "kids." Blair jogged over to Ashton. She smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that. I don't know what's wrong with Cubby today. He must just really like you." Blair tried to put a collar on Cubby, but he was extremely uncooperative. When she finally got it on, he sat firmly in place, refusing to walk with her. Blair said something deeply suggestive to Ashton. "Looks like I'll have to let Billi and Cubby have more playdates in the future." 5 Ashton took a step back. He walked toward my side. "Our Billi is only friends with Milli." [He's literally spelling it out! Certain fans of Blair need to stop barking.] [Billi and Milli (Billion and Million). Isn't that clearly a couple's name?] [I'm calling her sister-in-law first.] [The people upstairs must be Harper Vance's brain-dead fans, right? Believing everything they hear.] [Who's the brain-dead fan, and who's the one throwing a tantrum? I won't say. Those who know, know.] Ashton took Billi's leash from my hand. The man and the dog took three steps, looking back at me with every step. Milli wanted to follow them, but I firmly held him back. I instantly felt like the evil, unreasonable mother-in-law in a melodramatic novel, tearing star-crossed lovers apart. Blair walked over with Cubby and reached out to pet Billi. Billi barked at Blair and dodged her hand, showing absolutely zero respect. Blair awkwardly pulled her hand back from mid-air. She forced a laugh and tried to save face: "It's been so long since I saw Billi, she's grown distant from me." I watched from the sidelines with great interest. Blair was clearly aiming for Ashton. She wanted to be Billi's stepmom. But finding a two-faced fake who didn't even like dogs? I would sneak in and steal Billi back in the middle of the night! Ashton frowned and looked confused. "Actually, I wanted to ask earlier. Do we know each other?" [Oh snap. I think I hear the sound of someone's face getting slapped.] [Is the Best Actor really a player? That's not how you keep your distance!] [To the people commenting earlier: I declare your cerebrum completely undeveloped, and your cerebellum underdeveloped.] The smile on Blair's face was crumbling. She froze for several seconds. When she recovered, she said, "Ashton, we worked together last year on First Love." Blair's screen time in that movie was minimal. She had a brief cameo as the male lead's deceased first love—a grand total of maybe three scenes. Ashton thought for a moment. "Oh, what a coincidence." He dropped that sentence, brushed past Blair, and walked back to his spot. My secondary embarrassment was flaring up. Blair, probably trying to ease the awkwardness, shifted her gaze to Milli. Her tone was odd: "It must be nice having a light acting schedule, Harper. Even your dog is raised plump and chubby. Unlike me. I have to strictly control my diet every day, and Cubby is such a picky eater." What did that mean? So she hit a wall, and now she's trying to find her ego by stepping on me? I patted Milli's head. "My dad really loves green tea. Excuse me, Blair, do you have any vintage pick-me tea at home? I'll pay top dollar for some." 6 That night, around midnight. There was a knock on my door. When I opened it, Ashton quickly pushed his way inside. It was as if he was terrified I'd lock him out. I was trapped between the wooden door and his chest. He looked down. "It's so hard just to see you. Why did you break up with me back then?" I pushed against his shoulder, but he didn't budge. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind: "Your mom gave me a million dollars to get lost, and when I walked out the door, your ex-girlfriend threw another million at me. I love money." "If you're going to lie to me, at least pick a better excuse." He grabbed my wrist. "Besides you, what ex-girlfriend do I have? And my mom is practically begging for me to get married." I stayed silent for two seconds. I asked him back, "Back then, juggling me and your career... didn't you find it exhausting?" When Ashton debuted, his first TV show was a minor hit. Over the next two or three years, his popularity skyrocketed, naturally attracting intense scrutiny. Even though I was a nobody actress, it was inevitable that rumors would start flying. Eventually, it began to affect our normal lives. Since Ashton couldn't make a choice, I made it for him. Facts proved my departure was the right move. Ashton became more and more famous, and I'm not doing too badly myself now. Hearing my question, Ashton's brow furrowed tightly. He sighed. "You know back then I..." "Forget it," I interrupted him. "Let the past stay in the past. Aren't we both doing better now?" With that, I opened the door, signaling for him to leave. Ashton didn't put up much of a fight. But right before he left. He said, "Harper Vance, it's not over. Sooner or later, I'm going to tie us together again. Proudly and publicly." Even after Ashton left, I stood at the door, feeling a bit dazed. Fine. Let him do whatever he wants. My mindset right now is purely zen. 7 The next day, the producers organized a beach mini-game. Dog treats and toys were buried in the sand in front of us. The rules were simple: the dogs had to find them, and the team that found the most won. [Look at Billi and Milli. Just based on those two, I refuse to believe Ashton and Harper are strictly platonic.] [Wait, what is Blair doing?] [Is she crazy, or am I crazy?] [Is no one going to stop her? I'm so anxious I want to crawl through the internet and grab her!] I looked over at Blair. Cubby had just dug up a dental chew bone. Blair patted his head, then pulled a piece of chocolate out of her pocket, ready to reward him. Wait, chocolate? I took a massive step forward and smacked the chocolate out of her hand. "Harper Vance, what are you doing?!" Blair yelled at me. "Don't you know dogs can't eat chocolate?" She hesitated for a few seconds, then mumbled, "What does it have to do with you?" [What's wrong with Harper Vance? Did nobody teach her how to speak politely?] [She's just bullying our Blair. Poor Blair, don't be mad~] [Can the people upstairs stop acting like everything is a catfight? I'm so sick of it. What benefit does it bring you?] [Let's look at the facts. Does Blair actually know how to raise a dog?] Another female guest, Zoey, walked over. She was a cute girl with her hair in a bun. She spoke up: "That should be common sense for anyone with a pet. Doing that could literally kill the dog." Blair kept her head down, acting like we were ganging up on her. 她 intentionally made her shoulders tremble, her voice taking on a tearful tone. She said, looking incredibly wronged: "But Cubby always eats it! He loves chocolate, he eats a lot of it every time." I exchanged a speechless glance with Zoey. Our silence was deafening. Blair's acting addiction kicked in. Her tone grew more and more pathetic: "I just wanted to reward Cubby. You guys are making me feel so awful. After all, every dog's body is different." [Exactly, every dog's body is different!] [To the person upstairs: I just got pregnant with your child. Wire me a million dollars in child support immediately.] [Are you sick in the head?] [After all, everyone's body is different.] Blair was completely immersed in her own little world until Ashton wandered over. She stared at the treats in Ashton's hand. "Ashton, they won't let me feed Cubby his favorite chocolate. Could you share some of your treats with me?" I rubbed my temples. If the sky falls, we don't have to worry, Blair's mouth will hold it up. I patted Blair on the shoulder. "If I ever need someone to shovel BS, I'm calling you. You're a natural." 8 Glancing at Ashton again, I linked arms with Zoey and walked away. "Ashton." Blair tugged at his shirt. "You're the best." Ashton looked like he was facing a lethal threat, swatting at the goosebumps rising on his arm. He looked like he was breaking down. "No, listen, I'm calling you 'Sis', okay? Don't ruin me. My journey to win my wife back is already long and hard. If you pull this crap, I'm going to completely lose my cool persona." [Is the guy who said this was scripted earlier still here?] [LMAO, how do you know it's not a script now?] [Even a hundred years after you're cremated, your mouth will still be intact and arguing.] I hadn't even walked two steps away. My ears heard everything perfectly, and my mouth twitched uncontrollably. Ashton hurried to catch up with us. "Harper, you have to believe me. I graduated top of my class from the Loyal Boyfriend Academy. You know this. I have a certificate." I pulled Zoey along, walking even faster. Save me, I'm terrified. [So Ashton was holding it in all day yesterday?] [No, seriously, if no one clarifies this, I'm going to start spreading rumors.] [If you spread rumors, I'm going to have to repeat them.] [Then I'm going to believe them.] Ashton had completely let himself go. He followed close behind me the entire time, neither too close nor too far. Zoey's Corgi, Sugar, seemed to really like me, constantly rubbing against my pant leg intentionally or unintentionally. Zoey herself seemed to have found her tribe, sticking to me like glue. Being a girl is great. You can casually cuddle with pretty girls and get a positive response. After spending some time together, I realized Zoey really liked to launch herself into my arms like a hungry tiger. And once she was in my arms, she'd always sneak in a few extra nuzzles. [I have something to say, but I don't know if I should.] [Did Zoey ever say she plays for the other team?] [Blind man, you've discovered the blind spot.] [What do I do? I just love shipping people everywhere.] Ashton saw the live chat and launched himself like a rocket. He grabbed Billi, who was eating nearby, and charged straight at me. He pulled the little Corgi out of my arms and shoved Billi's massive, fluffy head in instead. Ashton said, "Billi absolutely insisted on finding you." Billi still had crumbs of freeze-dried meat on her mouth. She looked at me, utterly confused, and let out a pitiful little awoo. Zoey pouted and leaned on my shoulder. "Why is Ashton being like this? He's not mad at my Sugar, is he?" Ashton frowned. "Does your family sell green tea too?" I tsked. "What nonsense are you talking about?" I'm putting my cards on the table. I have a double standard. 9 Ashton grabbed Billi in his arms. "Fine, fine, is this how we're playing it? "My poor Billi. Abandoned by her ruthless mother. She finally finds her real mom, only to discover her mom is out here flirting with everyone, surrounded by flowers, without a care in the world! "My poor Billi has been so depressed she's only eating three meals a day! She's so hungry she gained two pounds recently! How am I supposed to survive as a single father?!" Me: "..." This guy was acting unhinged again. I think I saw Zoey looking at me, her eyes asking: Is there something wrong with Ashton's brain? Right then, Blair chimed in: "Harper, how can you act like this? If it were me..." I raised my hand, cutting off Blair's words. I made an inviting gesture. "Come on, the floor is yours. Start your performance." Zoey followed suit, holding a leash in one hand and my hand in the other. "Then we'll leave it to Ms. Sterling. We're going." Blair clearly hadn't expected me to refuse to play by her script. Ashton let go of Billi. He looked up at Blair and asked, "Did I ever offend you somewhere?" Blair: "I..." [Honestly, I feel like Blair has just been doing confusing things this whole show.] [I'm un-stanning. This is too cringe.] [But Blair didn't do anything wrong! If the guy I liked liked someone else, I wouldn't be able to handle it either.] [Did~ nothing~ wrong~] Facts proved that all of Blair's vague online insinuations were entirely orchestrated by herself. The fans who shipped her and Ashton practically all jumped ship. Modern netizens really can turn any variety show into a dating show. After today's shoot ended. I organized some cute photos of Milli from today. I arranged them into a 3x3 grid and posted them on Twitter to build some engagement. The hype had been high recently, and shortly after posting, I got a ton of comments. The most eye-catching one was the top comment, which had been furiously liked by everyone. The name Ashton Cole jumped out at me. He commented: "Billi misses you." I pretended not to see it and ignored it. When I clicked back in after my shower. I saw the second highest-liked comment right below it. Ashton: "I commented on your post, and you won't reply. It seems our relationship has reached the point where we need to avoid suspicion." I mean, sometimes being a person on the internet is just a really helpless experience. After a moment of thought, I replied with an ellipsis (......).
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