The boy I secretly loved jumped to his death. Given a second chance at life, I finally told him everything. But he threatened me, saying if I truly loved him, I had to die with him. 01 I woke up and realized I had traveled back in time. I was back to exactly one month before Leo Sterling’s suicide. Leo, the boy I had pined for over three years, had jumped from the roof of the library. His body sat in the morgue for a week. No one came to claim him. Not a single family member or friend appeared. I used every cent of my savings to pay for the storage and the service. In that moment, it felt like he finally belonged to me. The police had found a single, private post on his locked social media: In this world, no one loves me. This time, I was going to shout my love for him from the rooftops. But when I finally cornered him and confessed, he just gave me a polite, distant smile. "Thank you," he said. That was it. "Can I have your number? Or your Instagram?" I was relentless. Eventually, he sighed and gave in. Leo was the star of the psych department, a year ahead of me. He was so brilliant, so untouchable, that I never dared to speak to him before. To catch up to him, I had spent my nights buried in textbooks, barely eating or sleeping, just so I could get into the same graduate program. But in my last life, he was gone before I could even say, "Hello, senior." I didn't waste time. My first DM was a direct hit: [Leo, I’m actually in love with you.] There was no response. I figured he was shy. I was about to send another message when I realized... he had blocked me. The little red exclamation mark mocked me. I looked like a total stalker. I tried to add him again. Blacklisted. I was banned from even sending a request. My plan had failed before it even started. I only had 29 days left. That night, I dreamed of his death on a loop. I couldn't hold onto him. He kept slipping through my fingers, falling over the edge again and again. Finally, I broke. I jumped with him. The sensation of weightlessness snapped me awake, drenched in sweat. My roommate asked what kind of nightmare I was having. "I dreamed my uncle turned my pet fish into stew," I lied. She didn't believe me. It was just a fish, after all. I first noticed Leo because of a fish. He had been crouching in front of a vendor at a local market, insisting on buying a tiny, sick fish with pinecone scales—dropsy. The vendor refused to sell it, calling him an idiot. "The thing is going to die in an hour," he’d said. I followed that "idiot" as he carried the fish across half the city. He ended up at the edge of a lake. "Go have some fun for your last few hours," he whispered to the water. Back then, I thought he was just pure and kind. Now I realize he was talking to himself. Was he happy in his final hours? 02 The campus wasn't that big. Finding Leo was easy. "What exactly do you want?" he asked, finally losing his patience with my stalking. I waved my phone. "Unblock me." "No." "Then I’ll keep following you." He shot me a look but didn't budge. "Suit yourself." So, I became Leo’s shadow. Even if he ignored me, I was content. If I kept my eyes on him, he couldn't jump, right? The next morning, I was waiting at the entrance of his dorm. Unlike before, he didn't walk past me. He stopped. "Have you eaten?" I shook my head. I’d been there since 6:00 AM to make sure he didn't sneak out early. He tossed a carton of milk into my lap. "It expires today. Don't let it go to waste." I knew it was his way of caring. I scrambled up and followed him. "Can I have my Instagram back today?" "No." "Leo!" He turned, frowning. "What?" "I love you even more than I did yesterday!" He rolled his eyes and kept walking toward his advisor’s office. I went back to my room to catch up on sleep. My roommates were baffled. Leo was polite to everyone else, but he was incredibly prickly with me. But this was the real him. Not the masked, "normal" version he showed the world. Because I’d been up so early, I slept until noon. I completely missed the end of his seminar. I ran to the science building, hoping for a miracle. Leo was standing right in the sun, looking like a lost kid. I ran up and held my umbrella over him. "Why didn't you wait in the shade?" He looked down at me. "Who said I was waiting for you?" Okay, fine. He just enjoyed the June heat. Sure. I followed him to the dining hall. His tray was piled with nothing but fried chicken. I started a lecture on balanced nutrition. "Mhm," he grunted, ignoring me as he added more nuggets to his plate. "Leo, you're going to get a stomach ache." "Summer," he said, staring at me like I was a simpleton, "don't try to lecture a med student on basic biology. Your logic is flawed." I shut up. I bought a double serving of vegetables, planning to force some on him. But by the time I got my food, the seat next to him was taken. Three girls were sitting there. Leo wasn't prickly with them. He was charming. He laughed at their jokes. He was the perfect gentleman. I watched him from across the room. How could someone who looked so normal be planning to end it all? Someone bumped into me, spilling my iced tea all over my arm. "I am so sorry!" the guy said, frantically grabbing napkins. "I'll get you a new one," he insisted before I could say no. He ran off to the line. The seats near Leo were full. I sat down nearby to dry my arm. Someone sat across from me. I thought it was the tea guy. I looked up. It was Leo. He looked furious. "Who is he?" he demanded. I told him I didn't know. He just bumped into me. Right then, the guy returned with a fresh tea, apologized again, and left. I pushed the tea toward Leo. "I only got it because I couldn't carry two." He stared at the cup. He didn't touch it until I swapped my cup for his. "Good?" I asked. He dropped the act and went back to his chicken. I started moving greens onto his plate. He looked disgusted, but under my glare, he finally ate a piece of broccoli. "Don't be a picky eater, Leo." He swallowed it like it was poison. 03 Leo seemed normal, but after two weeks of watching him, I realized he didn't have any real friends. He was a master of boundaries. He was "social," but no one was close. But what about his family? His mentors? He was a top-tier grad student. Why did no one show up to his funeral? I didn't have time to solve the mystery. I only had 15 days left. "Leo, when are you going to unblock me?" I asked, licking an ice cream cone. If it weren't for the deadline, I would have enjoyed this slow, hidden tension between us. "Depends on my mood." He wiped a drop of cream off his hand with a look of pure disdain. He hated sweets. "Sigh. I guess I can't have dinner with you tonight." He looked at me. He wanted to know why, but his pride wouldn't let him ask. "Group meeting. We’re designing the new athletic uniforms," I said. "I’ll be busy all night. You won't hear from me." My phone buzzed. A notification. Leo_S has sent you a follow request. He kept a straight face. Stupidly stubborn boy. At the meeting, I realized the guy who bumped into me—Ross—was there too. He was a junior in design. My advisor was a friend of his father’s; he was just there for the "legacy" credit. "I mean, I have the skills too," Ross joked. During the meeting, I checked in on Leo’s dinner. He didn't reply, just sent a photo of a salad. [Good boy! As a reward, I'll come see you at your dorm after this.] I held my breath, wondering if he’d block me again. He replied with a single character. [.] A period. I guess that meant "Read." It was after 9:00 PM when I finished. Leo was waiting in the lobby of the building, wearing a black hoodie. Ross followed me out, complaining about the late meeting. The moment Leo saw him, he turned and walked away. I apologized to Ross and ran after Leo. "Leo!" He didn't answer. He sat on a stone bench. "He's just a legacy student in my program," I explained. "I don't like him," Leo muttered. I sat close to him. "I hate legacy students too. We are united in our hatred!" He didn't say anything. Silence stretched between us. Nearby, a couple was making out in the shadows of the campus trees. I swallowed hard. "Leo... can we hold hands?" Silence. I gathered my courage and reached for his hand. I gripped it. He didn't pull away. My confidence surged. I looked him dead in the eye. "Can we kiss?" He let out a short laugh. "Summer, do you have no shame?" I pointed at the couple in the trees. "They're doing it." "They're a couple." "Then be my boyfriend." I felt his hand stiffen. I held on tighter, terrified he’d let go. He didn't answer for the longest time. I was about to ask again when he reached out his other hand and covered my mouth. "Don't say it." He led me back to my dorm with one hand in mine and the other firmly over my lips. "If you stop talking, I'll let go." I nodded. The second he released me, I whispered in his ear: "Leo, I love you even more today." 04 Work for the project ramped up. I saw less of Leo. Before, I waited for him. Now, he waited for me. My roommates thought I’d finally won him over, but my heart was constantly on edge. Then Ross found me. I didn't want anything to do with him, but he wanted to talk about Leo. I had lied to Leo, telling him I’d be working all night so he’d go home. "Do you know about Leo’s parents?" Ross asked, getting straight to the point. "His parents were... well, it was a scandal. They were related. His dad bailed as soon as Leo was born. I think the guy is a total freak, Summer. You should stay away." "Thanks for the info," I interrupted. "But I know who he is better than you do." "Why do you think he’s in psychiatry? He’s looking for his own cure," Ross sneered. I couldn't stand the slander. "I appreciate the warning, but we aren't close enough for you to talk about him like that. You’re overstepping." Ross looked stunned, insisting he was just looking out for me. I brushed him off, saying I’d keep it in mind. Leo heard that last part. "Looking out for what? Looking out for me?" Before I could explain, he grabbed my arm and dragged me away. His grip was tight, almost painful. He didn't stop until we were in a secluded corner of the park. "Summer, you said you loved me." I expected him to scream. Instead, he just sounded broken, like I’d betrayed him. I didn't know what to say. He let out a bitter laugh. "Forget it. Go away. Don't come back." He turned to leave. I lunged forward and hugged him from behind. "Leo... was it really that bad?" I felt his body go rigid. "It’s okay. You don't have to tell me. I’m just here." He turned around and pulled me into his arms. Ross was right. The story was dark. His parents’ "forbidden" love wasn't a romance; it was a curse. His father saw Leo as a living reminder of his "sin" and vanished. His mother blamed Leo for everything. The verbal abuse was worse than anything physical. He realized he was "broken" in high school. By day, he pretended to be normal. By night, he struggled with the urge to disappear. One night, he was googling ways to end it without pain when a quote popped up: The world isn't perfect, but there is always someone watching over you. "I thought... maybe I'll wait. Maybe someone will actually come." "Leo..." I whispered, stroking his back. "So, Summer, this is your last chance to run." I shook my head. "I'm not running." I had lost him once because of my cowardice. This was my second chance. "Leo, I won't regret this." He held me tighter. "So... are you my boyfriend now?" He pulled back immediately, his "prickly" persona returning. "No." "Why?! You’re literally cuddling me!" He shoved his hands into his pockets. "You haven't done a proper confession yet." Was he serious? I confessed every single day. "A formal one," he insisted. I sighed. Fine. I’d plan the most romantic confession ever. 05 The month was almost up. I set the date for the confession on the same day he was supposed to jump. I wanted to turn his death day into our anniversary. A rebirth. I found an empty classroom. I covered it in printed photos. Screenshots of every time I told him I loved him. Candid photos of him I’d taken. Every meal he’d "reported" to me. I was a nervous wreck. I should have been watching him more closely, but I let him go alone to see his advisor. I waited in the classroom for two hours. He didn't show. My DMs went unanswered. I went to find him. As I was heading down the stairs, I saw his advisor, Professor Miller, rushing past the window. "Oh my god, someone jumped!" "Who would do that on campus?" My legs turned to jelly. Panic surged through me. I ran to the building and pushed through the crowd. The person in the pool of blood was unrecognizable, but I knew the clothes. "Leo..." I whispered. I tried to reach him, but hands held me back. A blinding white light swallowed my vision. I passed out. 06 I was in a loop. I woke up in my dorm room again. I checked my phone. It was five days before the jump. I tried to message Leo. He wasn't in my contacts. "Fuck!" I cursed. The universe was playing with me. I ran to find his classroom. I waited for him to come out. When he did, he walked right past me like we were strangers. "Leo..." I grabbed his hand. He pulled away coldly. "Do I know you?" He didn't remember me? Was I starting from zero? Or was the last loop just a dream? I was stuck in a circle of "is this real?" But I knew his death wasn't a simple suicide. Everything had been getting better. He was trying to save himself. I wandered the campus, looking for clues. My advisor called me into a meeting. The advisor! I remembered that Leo always seemed darker after seeing his advisor. And I saw Professor Miller running away the day Leo died. He was involved. At the meeting, Ross was there again. I didn't plan on talking to him, but he approached me. "How’s it going? Leo hasn't been bothering you, has he? I told you he was a creep. Glad I could help." "What are you talking about?" I demanded. Ross looked confused. "You said Leo was stalking you. Saying crazy things about 'regretting' things." My heart stopped. Leo was in the loop too? Then why was he pretending he didn't know me? I stood up abruptly, startling my advisor. "Summer, what's wrong?" I didn't answer. I grabbed my bag and ran. I had to find him. If he remembered, he knew what happened that day. He was hiding. I waited at his dorm for two days. He didn't show. He was avoiding me because he thought I had "regretted" him. I realized that before, I only found him because he let me find him. He didn't believe I loved him, but he’d made a bet on it. I went to Professor Miller. The man always gave me the creeps. When I asked for Leo, his expression shifted from tension to a forced smile. "Oh, so you're the girl he said didn't want him anymore." I didn't have time for small talk. "Professor, it's urgent. Where is he?" He gave me an address. A tenement building off-campus. Before I left, I looked at him. "Are you seeing Leo the day after tomorrow?" His eyes flickered. "No. Why?" I lied. "It’s my birthday. I want him to spend it with me. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't busy with school work." He waved me off, telling me to have fun. 07 Leo wouldn't open the door. "Leo! Open up! I'm sorry! Please!" I was begging like a stray dog outside his door. Whoever "Summer" was in this loop, she had ruined everything. "I have a secret! Just listen!" I whispered through the door frame. "The person before... that wasn't me." "You’re lying," his voice came from inside, low and hollow. "I’m not! Just open the door!" "Go away." "No!" I sat down on the floor. I wasn't leaving. The hallway of the old building was damp. Then, the sky opened up. A downpour hit the city. The roof of the hallway leaked, soaking me to the bone. I shivered, knocking again. "Leo, I’m freezing. I’m going to get sick." "I saw you walk into the rain on purpose," he said through the door. Dammit. He’d been watching. "Fine. Then throw me an umbrella so I can go home and change." I was ready to bolt the second the door cracked. It opened. He didn't throw an umbrella. He threw a towel over my head. "Dry off and get in here." He looked lethal. He leaned against the wall, glaring at me. "Talk." I told him everything. From his first death to the loops. I told him the logic. He didn't jump. The Summer in his timeline had disappeared and was replaced by a Summer who didn't know him. He thought I was playing a game with him. I told him the jump had to do with his advisor. He laughed. "That’s a hell of a story. You spent days coming up with that?" "Leo, I know it sounds insane, but it's what's happening." "You regretted being with me, Summer. Just admit it." He tossed an umbrella at my feet. "Get out." I grabbed his sleeve. "I’m not going anywhere."
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