My brother had been depressed lately because his girlfriend was in debt. I cautiously asked him what was wrong. He sneered, "Like I could explain it to an idiot like you. You wouldn't get it." But I wasn't an idiot. I understood. So, when my biological parents and older brother drove their luxury SUVs into our rundown rural town to pick me up... I took five thousand dollars from them. "Caleb. Here's the money." The money you wanted so desperately, I leave it to you. As for the family I always yearned for—they are finally right here beside me. 1 I held the bank card out right in front of Caleb's face. He was slumped in a beaten-up armchair, his eyes hollow, aggressively running his hands through his hair. Seeing my outstretched hand, he didn't even look closely at what I was holding. He just slapped it away. My fingers went numb from the strike. The silver card slipped from my grasp, clattering into the corner against the peeling wallpaper. "Hiss—" I drew in a sharp breath. My thumb instinctively rubbed against my other knuckles, which were already swelling red. Hearing my voice, Caleb snapped his head up. Like a man waking from a nightmare, he jolted out of the chair. "Lily..." A flash of panic crossed his eyes, but it was immediately swallowed by that familiar, suffocating irritation. "Didn't I tell you to stop bothering me?! You're a stutterer, but are you deaf now, too?" "I... brought you... money!" I pointed at the card in the corner. He still didn't spare it a single glance. He just kept venting his rage. "Money, money, money! What money could you possibly have? Where did you get it? Are you selling yourself or your organs?" His manic energy flared up again. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard. "Lily, can you just give me a break? Didn't I tell you to go stay at someone else's house for a few days? Mrs. Higgins already said yes! Go stay with her! Don't come back! Stop bothering me!" My shoulders ached under his grip. I couldn't help but shove him back hard. He didn't budge. "I won't... go to... her house... I won't!" He gritted his teeth, looking like he was holding back a storm. Only when I winced in pain did he finally let go. "You're going whether you want to or not. You're leaving right—" "Caleb! Did you get the money?" Chloe's voice echoed from the front yard. Caleb froze, instinctively pulling me behind him to hide me. A girl with dyed red hair and distressed denim shorts blew in like a hurricane. The excited gleam in her eyes vanished the second she saw me standing behind him. She rolled her eyes at me. Then, she pushed Caleb away from the doorway and into the bedroom. "Caleb, did you see? There are so many fancy cars out in the town square! Oh my god, I've never seen cars that long and shiny!" "Oh... I, uh, I haven't been outside. Didn't see them." Caleb sounded distracted. But Chloe didn't care. She kept talking. "So, did you scrape together the five grand?" The room went dead silent. I lowered my eyes, walked over to the corner, picked up the card, wiped off the dust, and placed it neatly on the table. "Say something! Caleb!" "I... I don't have it yet. But I'll figure it out. I promise!" Chloe's voice went shrill. "The deadline is tomorrow! And you still don't have it?! Do you want to watch them drag me away? Caleb, stop being such a useless coward!" "I said I'll figure it out!" "What is there to figure out?! If you can't get it... then we go back to my original plan. Let your sister go with them—" "No!" Caleb's piercing roar tore through the bedroom door. I turned a deaf ear to it all. I picked up the framed photo sitting on the living room mantel, carefully wiping the glass with my sleeve. My voice was barely a whisper. "Mom... Lily is leaving now." I knelt down and pressed my fingers to my lips, then to her picture, three times. The argument in the bedroom was still raging. I pushed the front door open, taking one last look at the crumbling old house I had lived in for thirteen years. Then, I turned my back and ran toward the edge of town as fast as my legs could carry me. 2 Caleb and I were both orphans taken in by Mom. Specifically, Caleb was brought home after his parents died in a car crash. I was different. She paid three hundred dollars to buy me from a ring of traffickers. I was only four or five at the time. I have no idea what horrors I endured while with them. I had a fever so high I was delirious. I was practically at death's door. Mom had a heart of gold. She emptied her meager savings to buy my life. Everyone in town gossiped. A little girl, sick to the bone. They said my real parents probably threw me away on purpose. They said Mom was a fool for spending money on a broken girl who couldn't even carry on a family name. Mom just smiled and said nothing. She took care of me with everything she had. Three days later, my fever broke. But my memories of everything before that were gone. From that day on, a widow, a five-year-old orphaned boy, and a sickly little girl became a family. Caleb... He used to be so good. He always smiled at me. He never raised his voice. He never called me an idiot. He never mocked my stutter. My big brother used to ride his tall bicycle, letting me sit on the back as we coasted through the golden wheat fields to bring Mom her lunch while she worked. Caleb was only a year older than me. His short little legs could barely reach the pedals. He had to stand up, leaning into the wind, pedaling with all his might across the dirt paths. I would hold the lunchbox, plucking two wildflowers along the way. One for me, one for him. From across the vast field, Mom would wave her hand vigorously. "Caleb, Lily! Ride slow! Take it slow!" Take it slow. Yes. We should have taken it slow. We grew up too fast... Later in life, I would return to that sun-drenched, floral-scented afternoon in countless dreams. I would tell Caleb over and over: "Brother, ride slower. Just a little slower." But how could a little girl ever outrun time? When the dream ended, I was still lying on the cold, hard floor of our living room. I looked up, and there was Mom's black-and-white portrait. I turned my head, and there was my brother's tightly locked door. It had been three years since Mom died of illness. With the help of Pastor Thomas, Caleb and I had managed to finish middle school. Caleb said he was going to the city to find work so he could pay for my high school tuition. I begged to go with him, but he sternly refused. "The city is full of dangerous people. I'm not risking our Lily getting taken away again." He pinched my cheek. "Everyone knows everyone here in town. It's safe. You stay here and wait for me. Don't worry, I'll make sure you get to go to school!" The rattling Greyhound bus pulled away. Two months later, he returned. But he wasn't alone. He brought back a strange girl. She had brightly dyed hair, a nose ring, a lip piercing, and heavy makeup. She was pretty, but she was mean. Caleb looked sheepish and introduced her as his girlfriend, Chloe. Chloe was a city kid whose parents had gone through a messy divorce, leaving her to fend for herself. Nobody even cared that she had followed a boy back to a town in the middle of nowhere. And Caleb was already sixteen. In a forgotten town like ours, some kids were already fathers at that age. After a moment of shock, I politely called her "Chloe." But for some reason, Chloe despised me from day one. And I was terrified of her. She called me an idiot. She called me a stuttering freak. Caleb got into a huge fight with her over it once. But when she packed her bags and threatened to leave, he broke down crying, hugging her and begging for forgiveness. What was I thinking back then? I forget. I only remember standing in the shadow of the wooden doorframe. Looking at Chloe's triumphant, mocking eyes. I felt so cold, like I had been plunged into freezing water. I knew then that my life was about to get very, very hard. 3 By the time I realized Caleb was skipping work, I was in my sophomore year. I found him in a smoky, rundown gaming lounge. He looked like someone I didn't even know. A cigarette hanging from his lips, his arm wrapped around Chloe, his fingers violently smashing a keyboard as a stream of foul curses spilled from his mouth. My hand tightened around the strap of my backpack, trembling slightly. "Caleb." He had his headset on and didn't hear me. But Chloe did. She turned around and glared at me with pure annoyance. She leaned closer to Caleb. She put a finger to her lips, motioning for me to shut up. Then, she yanked Caleb's headset off. "Babe, what do you think your idiot sister is doing right now?" Caleb paused. I stood to the side, watching his profile. For a split second, I thought I saw a flicker of guilt. But it vanished instantly. He clicked his tongue, annoyed, and reached for the headset. "Going to school, I guess. What else would she do?" "Oh~ Right. But look, she's practically failing anyway. Didn't you tell me she had a bad fever as a kid? Maybe it fried her brain! Is there really any point in paying for her to keep going?" "She's gotta go to school. What else is she gonna do? She's too young to work full-time!" He ran a hand roughly through his hair, clearly hating the conversation, and moved to put the headset back on. Chloe was relentless. She yanked it away again. "I don't care! The money you give her for lunch every month is enough to buy those boots I wanted. You are not giving her any more money!" "What, you want me to let her starve?" "She's not even your real sister! Why are you bending over backward for her? People are going to think you're raising her to be your own little wife!" Chloe laughed, rolling her eyes. Caleb's frown deepened. He gritted his teeth and turned his head, about to snap back, when he saw me standing there, clutching my backpack, looking lost. In an instant, whatever he was going to say died in his throat. I didn't know why he was so angry. I only know that without a word, he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the lounge. "Lily! Are you out of your damn mind?! Who told you to come here? What do you want?!" "I came... to find you. Your boss... said you haven't been... to work... in days." "None of your business! I bust my ass to pay for your school! If you don't want to go, then get out and get a job!" My wrist burned from his grip. I mumbled, terrified, "I don't... need... your money anymore. I got... a scholarship... and financial aid. And I have... a part-time job... I—" "So what?! You don't need me anymore! I'm not good enough for you! I don't deserve to be your brother, is that it?! Then why the hell are you looking for me?!" His grip tightened painfully. He glared at me, his eyes swirling with emotions I couldn't decipher. We stood there in a tense deadlock for what felt like hours. Then, I heard him say: "Lily, I wish I wasn't your brother." ... 4 I ran toward the edge of town like my life depended on it. I wanted to leave all those dark, suffocating memories behind. But the tears fell anyway, blurring everything in sight. I was sprinting purely on instinct and memory. Without looking, my foot caught on a jagged rock, and I pitched forward, slamming hard into the dirt. "Ah—!" "Lily!" "Lily!" "Sweetheart!" My scream tangled with several frantic, desperate shouts. But the sharp pain of hitting the ground never came. A young man, who looked startlingly like me, caught me firmly in his arms. "Are you okay?!" He had scraped his own knees bloody sliding to catch me, but his first thought was my safety. "Lily, Arthur, are you two alright?! Get up, get up!" A well-dressed couple rushed over, pulling us up and looking us over with frantic concern. I stood frozen in place, utterly bewildered. My mind was racing: Great. I ruined everything again. I'm causing trouble for strangers... They're definitely going to hate me now. But the scolding and disgust I expected never came. Seeing that Arthur and I were both physically fine, the woman pulled me into a desperate, crushing hug. "Lily, you scared me half to death. Why are you crying? Are you hurt somewhere? Don't cry, it's okay, we'll go straight to the hospital!" I shook my head wildly. "N-no... I don't... need... to go... to a h-hospital!" I bit my lip so hard I tasted copper. I was terrified they would hear my stutter. Because of my intense shame, I hadn't spoken to strangers in a very long time. Every time I tried, even if the other person didn't react badly, my mind would flash back to Caleb and Chloe's mocking, disgusted eyes. Over time, I spoke less and less. But silence doesn't cure a stutter. It only makes the anxiety worse. Now, the mere thought of speaking made my palms sweat and my face burn. I kept my head bowed, praying they wouldn't notice. Thankfully, the three of them just exchanged a quick glance and seamlessly changed the subject, pretending nothing was wrong. "Lily, come on, get in the car. We're going home!" Arthur opened the door of the SUV, smiling warmly. But as I looked up, I saw the blood trickling down his knee. Flustered, I unzipped my faded canvas bag, pulled out a band-aid, and held it out to him. He blinked, surprised. Then his smile turned incredibly soft. "My sister is so thoughtful. Carrying band-aids with you everywhere." My heart gave a violent tremor. I quickly curled my fingers inward. I didn't want him to see the countless little cuts and callouses on my hands. The three of them had such beautiful, flawless hands. Even the older man—my biological father—had clean, manicured fingers. But I spent my life chopping firewood, scrubbing clothes by hand, and washing dishes at the school cafeteria. Even in the summer, my hands were covered in tiny, stinging cuts that burned whenever I sweated. He noticed. I saw his eyes lock onto my hands. But he didn't recoil. He just quickly looked away to spare my feelings. As the car started, I caught Arthur's eyes in the rearview mirror. His gaze had turned sharp, almost predatory, as he stared back at the town. He let out a dark, cynical scoff. He slammed his foot on the gas, kicking up a cloud of dust. Leaving my thirteen years of misery in the rearview mirror. Faintly, over the roar of the engine, I heard someone screaming: "Lily!" 5 I didn't look back. I let Mrs. Sterling—my mother—cover my ears as I fell asleep against her chest. When I woke up, the car was parked outside a massive, sprawling estate. The first person I saw was a young woman standing on the porch. She wore a tailored dress, her dark hair cascading down her shoulders like silk, making her look incredibly elegant and gentle. I was wondering who she was when Arthur shattered my anxiety with a single sentence. He said, "Lily, this is my fiancée, Sarah. You can call her sister!" You can call her sister... In an instant, I was transported back to the day I met Chloe. A tidal wave of dark memories crashed over me, and my hands began to tremble uncontrollably. My mother, still holding me, instantly felt it. She looked down in panic. "Lily? What's wrong? Are you feeling sick?" I shook my head rapidly and forced a desperate, pleasing smile at Sarah. "Hi... Sarah." Unlike my first meeting with Chloe, Sarah's eyes sparkled as she looked at me. She looked absolutely thrilled. "I've been waiting so long for you! This is wonderful! Lily, your family is finally whole again!" She looked up at Arthur, and both of their eyes welled up with tears. Arthur wiped his face. "Alright, alright, let's not stand on the porch crying. Lily, come inside and see if you like your room!" Before I could process what was happening, the two of them took my hands and led me to a bedroom on the second floor. It was breathtaking. A massive, incredibly soft bed. A beautiful vanity. And—for the first time in my life—my very own closet and a pristine desk. The afternoon sun poured through the massive windows, making the whole room glow. It felt like a dream. "Is... is this... all for me?" Sarah nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! But if there's anything you don't like, we can change it right now!" Her face fell slightly, looking guilty. "I'm so sorry, Lily. Your mom and dad and Arthur rushed out to get you, so I was the only one left to set up your room. I didn't know what you liked, so I just guessed. If you hate any of it, tell me and we'll throw it out today!" I hurriedly interrupted her. "I... I love it. Thank you... Sarah." Her cheeks instantly flushed bright red. She suddenly elbowed Arthur hard in the ribs. "This is your fault! Why did you tell her to call me Sarah like we're formal?" "What else is she supposed to call you?" "We're not even married yet! Ugh! Ignore him, Lily, just call me Sarah!" The girl, blushing furiously, lightly stepped on Arthur's foot. Arthur dramatically crouched down. "Lily, save me, my fiancée is trying to assassinate me!" "Stop joking around, you're going to scare her!" The two of them laughed and bickered playfully. I stood frozen in the doorway. My mind was entirely blank, save for one thought: Human relationships can actually... be this healthy? Noticing I had gone quiet, they immediately stopped messing around and returned to my side. "Lily, rest for a bit. Later, Arthur and I will show you around the house. Think about anything else you might need, and I'll make your brother go buy it immediately!" Before I could answer, rapid footsteps thundered up the stairs. A bright, energetic male voice rang out: "Mr. and Mrs. Sterling! Arthur! Did you get Lily?!" I froze. I remembered that voice. He was the one who found me. He told me his name was... Mason Caldwell! 6 When Mason Caldwell found me, I was standing at the edge of the river. One foot was already hovering over the rushing water. His raw, throat-tearing scream made me pause. The next second, someone grabbed the back of my faded jacket and violently yanked me backward into the mud. The boy was panting heavily, staring at my face in utter disbelief. His hands were shaking worse than mine. He said: "I finally... found you." He told me he was representing his family's corporate foundation, doing charity work in our forgotten little county. They were supposed to sponsor a few high school students. But when he looked at the list of low-income students and saw my photo, he recognized me. He forced his teachers to bring him straight to my village. "Oh my god, Lily, do you know? You are a spitting image of Mrs. Sterling!" "We've been—I mean, your real parents and your brother have been looking for you non-stop. We never gave up on you!" "I finally found you! Do you remember me? We played together every single day when we were little! It's me! Mason! Do you remember?!" The frantic joy and crushing sorrow in his eyes terrified me. Because I really, truly... couldn't remember a single thing before I was four. He wanted to take me away right then and there. But I was terrified... what if he had the wrong person? I didn't want to be accused of being a con artist, and I couldn't survive being abandoned again. So I gave him two strands of my hair and told him to do a DNA test with the Sterling family. Only when the results were absolute did my real family come to get me. Now, Mason sprinted up the stairs like a golden retriever. The moment he saw me, a blindingly bright smile broke across his face. "Lily! Lily! You're home!" He was so excited, but halfway down the hall, Arthur grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Artie? What gives?!" "What gives is that you're too loud! You're gonna scare my sister, idiot!" Mason looked indignant. "I found her first, okay?! I brought her back!" He looked at me, his eyes practically sparkling with expectation. My entire body went stiff. Terrified he would bring up the river, I nodded frantically. "Y-yes. It... it was you!" "See?! Don't be mad at me, Lily! I wanted to go with them to pick you up, but Artie made me stay behind to handle your school transfer paperwork! That's why I wasn't there!" He glared at Arthur while he explained. I waved my hands anxiously. "I'm not... mad!" How could I be mad? I was just... in a daze. Everything here was so beautiful it felt completely unreal. Loving parents, a warm and protective brother and sister-in-law, a friend who genuinely cared about me... Did I really get to have this? Was this a dream? A hallucination before I hit the water? The thought was so horrifying that my head began to throb violently. The room started spinning. The last thing I heard was Sarah's scream: "Lily! What's wrong?!" 7 She caught me as I collapsed. "She's burning up! Arthur, call a doctor right now!" "Lily!" "Mom, Dad, don't panic, I'm calling them!" ... "Why is she sweating so much, my poor baby?" "Everyone out, except Sarah!" "Sarah, help me hold her up. I need to wipe her down with alcohol to break the fever." Through the haze of delirium, I heard my mother and Sarah's voices. Someone was unbuttoning my shirt. Their movements and voices were incredibly gentle. But my body acted on pure reflex. I swatted her hand away violently. I clutched my collar in a death grip, refusing to let go. "Oh! Mrs. Sterling, what's wrong with her? She's turning pale!" "Lily?" The two gentle voices faded into the background. Replacing them in my mind was Chloe's sickeningly sweet, mocking laughter: “Well, well, I didn't know the village idiot had such a nice body! No wonder you're so good at seducing men!” “Hold still! I'm just taking a few pictures. I'll even give you a cut of the money when I sell them!” “Ouch! You little btch, did you just hit me?! Do you have a death wish?!”* It was the summer before my freshman year. Caleb and Chloe had explicitly said they were leaving town for a few days. But in the dead of night, while I was sleeping, Chloe kicked my bedroom door open. I scrambled to put my clothes on, but she had her phone camera pointed right at me... She didn't get the pictures. Because for the first time in my life, I fought back. And for the first time in my life, I was beaten until my nose bled for hours. When Caleb came back the next day, Chloe played the victim. She said I tried to smash her phone. Caleb looked at my bruised, swollen face and my blood-stained shirt, and stayed silent for a long time. "Caleb... she... she tried to... take pictures—" "Chloe, I'll work extra shifts. I'll buy you a new phone. Just drop it... Lily, can you just stop causing trouble for five minutes?" Every word I wanted to say died in my throat. All that remained was the trauma of that night, festering like an open wound. From that day on, I developed a severe aversion to being touched. I would wake up in cold sweats, paranoid that Chloe was recording me. I had nightmares of her tearing my clothes off. I refused to sleep in the same room as her ever again. There were only two bedrooms in the house. Chloe took one. Caleb took the other. I slept on the hard floor in the living room. No matter how furiously Caleb cursed at me for being "weird" and "stubborn," I refused to go back into that room. ... "Get away! Don't touch me! Don't film me! Get away! Don't... rip my clothes!" I clutched my collar, my entire body violently shivering. The fever made my teeth chatter so loudly it echoed in the room. Someone was crying. Two suppressed sobs floated near my ears. Warm tears splashed onto my neck. "Lily, don't be scared, it's okay, it's okay, we won't touch your clothes!" "My baby! Lily!" The sobbing grew louder. "My sweet girl, there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. You're home. Mommy will protect you..." The gentle woman's voice gradually cut through the haze, overpowering the ghosts in my memories. A strange, unfamiliar sense of safety washed over me. My head grew impossibly heavy, and I slipped entirely into darkness. When I woke up again, the first thing I saw was an IV bag hanging above my head. My mother and Sarah were both sitting by the bed. Their eyes were swollen and red, like they had been crying for hours. I was just about to speak when Arthur's furious, low roar bled through the door from the hallway: "He has the nerve to call the police?! What does he mean, 'his sister'?! Does he even deserve to say that?! I haven't even had the time to go after him for the background check I pulled today! Fine! If Caleb wants to come here, let him come! I'll welcome him personally!" The IV stand rattled as I flinched. The two women jolted, looking up to see me shivering, pale as a ghost. Sarah and Mom exchanged a panicked look and bolted for the door. "Arthur, shut up! Lily is awake!" ... The shouting outside stopped instantly. After a long, suffocating silence, Arthur pushed the door open. He walked in slowly, hesitantly. The sweat of anxiety on his forehead dripped onto his crisp dress shirt. "Lily." Arthur crouched slowly by my bed and reached out, gently pressing his palm to my forehead. His voice was soft, but laced with iron: "Don't be afraid. Your big brother is going to protect you. From now on, you never have to be afraid of anything again."
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