I have a weird kink: I love being a simp. There is nothing I enjoy more than showering guys with unrequited attention; it adds a little spice to my otherwise boring life. Recently, I locked onto a totally aloof, high-and-mighty guy. I’ve been simping over him for two months, and he barely gives me the time of day. I was very satisfied with this. But I get bored easily, and I quickly found myself a new god to worship. A few days later, the aloof guy reached out to me on his own for the very first time: [You've been busy lately?] I was right in the middle of having dinner with my new crush: [I sure am, babe. Work has been crazy lately, I'm still at the office doing overtime.] Aloof guy: [Overtime?] Me: [Yep yep.] Aloof guy: [Then why don't you look behind you?] 1 My best friend Chloe broke her leg, so I went to visit her at a high-end private hospital. We were gossiping in her room when her attending physician happened to walk in. I looked over, and instantly froze. The man was tall and lean, his crisp white coat fitting perfectly. He had a cold, untouchable aura and an aloof expression. As he went over the medical precautions with Chloe, his voice sounded like a clear, deep mountain spring—crisp, low, and magnetic. Standing to the side, I couldn't help but stare at his high, straight nose bridge, his thick eyelashes, and those long, knobby, elegant fingers gripping the medical chart. As soon as he left, I exploded. "Give me your doctor's contact info, right now!" Chloe gave me a deadpan look. "What for?" I kept a completely straight face. "My contact list is missing a cold, unattainable god." She rolled her eyes so hard I thought they'd get stuck in the back of her head. "Just admit your simp disease is acting up again." In the end, she still forwarded me his contact card. I quickly sent a friend request. His username was probably his real name: Silas Vance. His profile wasn't set to private, so I casually scrolled through his feed. It was all shared articles. Medical lectures, disease research, or health science pop-eds. It looked like a purely professional account. It took a long time before Silas accepted my request. Me: [Hi Dr. Vance, I'm the friend of your patient, Chloe. My name is Sloane.] Silas: [Hmm.] Me: [About when will she be discharged?] Silas: [The day after tomorrow.] Me: [Thank you for taking such good care of her.] Silas: [It's my job.] I was stuck. His strictly-business, ice-cold attitude made me wonder how I was even supposed to start my simping routine. No, I had to establish a presence first. For the next two days, under the guise of taking care of my best friend, I practically lived at the hospital. My makeup was flawless, my outfits dazzling. Chloe looked like she wanted to physically sweep me out of the room. Facts proved that this method was highly effective. The next time I saw Silas, his eyes paused on me for two full seconds before shifting away. Feeling smug, I went back and continued sending him harmless trash-talk on text. At the end of our chat, Silas paused for a moment. Silas: [Ms. Sloane.] Me: [Here, here!] Silas: [The hospital has patients with respiratory diseases. I suggest you wear less perfume.] Me: [...] 2 The day Chloe was discharged, I was devastated. Chloe almost beat me to death. "Give it up. I asked the nurses. Silas is apparently a trust fund kid; you absolutely cannot simp your way to him." I got even more excited. "It's only fun if I can't catch him. If I catch him, it's boring." Chloe was silent for a few seconds. "I truly cannot understand you." I smiled. Sometimes, I don't understand myself either. After Chloe was discharged, I continued to "harass" Silas. Of course, as a simp with professional etiquette, I only picked times when he wasn't busy. For example, pretending to seek medical advice: [Dr. Vance, my neck has been really stiff lately, when do you work next?] He directly sent me a link to the hospital's portal: [Book an appointment online.] Or, for example, I'd leave comments under the dry medical articles he shared: [You work so hard!], [So impressive!], [Learned a lot!] He replied to none of them. I suddenly realized a problem. I still didn't know if he was single. This was a very serious issue, and I decided to ask him in person. On Tuesday afternoon, I booked an outpatient consultation with Silas. The co-pay was expensive, but to continue my happy simping journey, I endured it. Before long, the nurse called my name and led me into Silas's office. This was my first time alone with Silas. From less than two meters away, I could see the tiny mole on his high nose bridge, his distinct, thick eyelashes, and his perfectly shaped, pale pink lips. He looked up at me. My heart suddenly skipped a beat. He gestured for me to sit and asked me to describe my symptoms. After I stuttered through a description, he asked a few more questions. I had never been this nervous in my life. Silas had very dark pupils, and when he looked at you seriously, there was a deeply focused gentleness to it. It was a stark contrast to his cold, aloof aura. My mind went blank, and I babbled a bunch of nonsense. Silas listened patiently for a long time, and finally gave his advice: "Ms. Sloane, I personally don't think your cervical spine issue is severe. If you're still uncomfortable, I can refer you to physical therapy." I snapped back to reality and shook my head repeatedly. It wasn't until I walked out of the office that I realized I'd forgotten my main objective. When I turned around to go back, I saw Silas had already left his office and was walking to the end of the hallway. I looked down at my phone; it was already past 5 PM. I had actually held him up from clocking out. I chased after him. "Dr. Vance." He turned around. "I feel a little dizzy." He frowned slightly. "Just started?" "Yeah." "Then let's get you an MRI first, once we get the scans we'll..." He didn't finish his sentence. My vision went black, and I passed out. I lied to Silas. I didn't have a neck problem. I had hypoglycemia. 3 In a haze, I was still somewhat conscious. I felt someone pick me up. The embrace was broad, firm, and full of a sense of security. Not long after the nurse hooked me up to an IV, I finally forced my heavy eyelids open. Someone was standing beside me. I looked up and saw Silas, his brows furrowed. "If you have a history of low blood sugar, remember to eat your meals on time." He dropped that sentence, turned around, and prepared to leave. "Silas." This was the first time I'd called him by his first name. He paused and looked back at me. I finally remembered the purpose of my trip: "Are you single?" A hint of impatience flashed in Silas's eyes, and he frowned slightly. "Ms. Sloane, if you don't have anything else..." "Are you?" I asked again. Silas paused for two seconds. "Yes." He turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm. He looked back again, the displeasure obvious on his face. Acting as if I didn't see it, I looked up at him and flashed a genuinely sincere smile from the bottom of my heart. "Then... is it okay if I have a crush on you?" After I said that, I clearly saw his dark pupils—which had just been filled with annoyance—tremble twice. 4 I had committed the cardinal sin of simping. Simp Rule #1: Sweet words, cold heart. Never throw a straight pitch. Silas's previous life had probably been too orderly; he'd never seen someone as brazen and direct as me. One sentence, and I'd scared him away. Leaving the hospital, I fell into deep regret. Now I probably couldn't even keep my spot on his contacts list. Hesitating for a moment, I tried sending a message: [Are you still alive on my list?] It actually went through. I quickly unsent it. Silas replied with an ellipsis. Silas: [Alive.] Me: [...] Crap, he saw it. Me: [Sorry about that, my brain was a bit fuzzy today. I was just talking nonsense.] He didn't reply. I scrolled through TikTok for a while before a notification finally popped up. Silas: [Hmm.] Died before the battle even began. Revealing my intentions too early made my ensuing path as a simp incredibly difficult. During our next few chats, Silas barely entertained me. Fortunately, I was an experienced simp and knew when to advance and when to retreat. I drastically lowered the frequency of my check-ins and picked the perfect moments. Like saying a harmless "Good work" after he finished a night shift, or asking "Been busy lately?" on his day off. After retreating to a safe, non-invasive distance, Silas would occasionally exchange a few words with me. I never dragged the conversations out, always quitting while I was ahead. After all, I had my own life to live. When I asked, "Off work yet?", and he replied "Yeah," I knew he was no longer repulsed by my presence. Suddenly, I really wanted to see him. Picking a slow weekend, I sat in the outpatient lobby waiting for him to get off work. Honestly, I didn't even know if I'd catch him. But since I didn't have a strong motive, I treated it as a little spice to my day. If it happens, it happens. Coincidentally, I did see him. And I witnessed quite a dramatic scene. Silas had already changed into his street clothes and was about to leave, but a girl blocked his path. From a distance, I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could see Silas frowning, impatience bleeding into his eyes. It looked exactly like the expression he gave me that day. Probably another relentless pursuer. Sure enough, as I got closer, I heard their conversation. "Ms. Harper, I personally think you'd be better off switching to another doctor." "Silas, I'm not here to see you as a patient, I..." "Sweetie," I walked over and cut her off. "Dr. Vance is off the clock. I don't think he wants to be bothered anymore." My sudden appearance startled her. Because she was young, she blushed, muttered an "Okay," and hurried away. Silas frowned and glanced at me. I had no intention of bothering him further. I nodded at him, turned around, and walked away. While I was standing on the curb waiting for an Uber, an SUV pulled up in front of me. The window slowly rolled down. I raised an eyebrow and walked over with interest. "Dr. Vance, do you have something to say to me?" Silas had both hands on the steering wheel, eyes fixed straight ahead, his voice cool. "Sloane." That was the first time he'd called me by my name. My heart skipped a beat. "Yeah?" "I don't like being bothered after work." I paused. Was he referring to that girl's behavior just now? I looked down and smiled in understanding. "My intentions are different from hers." Silas turned his head to look at me. The streetlights cast shifting shadows across his face. His dark pupils were filled with suspicion and probing. He scoffed, a bit dismissively. "How is it different?" "I just came to the hospital to sit. If I see you, great; if not, whatever. I don't demand your response. Whether I like you or not is my own business. If I bothered you, I won't come around anymore." The way he looked at me was full of pure confusion. I figured normal people probably couldn't comprehend my mindset. So I smiled and added, "Silas, the fact that I like you just proves you're a really outstanding person." He didn't respond. I waved at him. "Get home safe. Bye." 5 After that, I rarely bothered Silas. Simp Rule #2: Quit while you're ahead. Besides, as a seasoned corporate drone, I long ago lost the time to daydream like a little girl. Occasionally, when I thought of him, I'd send a message. Probably because I had a good sense of boundaries, he always replied. Even though he didn't say much, he never showed any annoyance. One morning, my calendar popped up with a reminder: Silas's Birthday. I had dug that up from the hospital's staff directory back when I first got interested in him. I really was a dedicated simp. If this were in the past, I might have sent a gift. But since I had no plans to intrude on his actual life, I figured a simple text would do. That night, I stayed up late writing a proposal. As soon as the clock struck midnight, I casually texted him: [Happy Birthday.] Silas didn't reply. Expected. I didn't think much of it. When I finally finished my proposal and collapsed into bed at 2 AM, my phone lit up. Silas: [Thank you.] I quickly replied: [No problem.] Silas: [Still awake?] Since he was a guy I had simped for, the reflex was still there. I smoothly typed: [Waiting for your reply, obviously.] Me: [Why are you still awake?] He paused for a bit. Silas: [Just got out of surgery.] Me: [You work so hard.] Me: [Wishing you a new year filled with winning the lottery, endless green lights, and always finding the cool side of the pillow.] Me: [But most importantly, stay happy.] "Typing..." appeared for two minutes. Silas: [Hmm.] Silas: [Go to sleep.] I didn't think there was anything inappropriate about that night's conversation. After all, nobody hates hearing nice birthday wishes, right? Facts proved me right. After that day, I could clearly feel Silas talking more during our chats. Sometimes he'd even share things happening around him. Of course, from beginning to end, he never initiated a conversation. Still the aloof god. That was fine, I was very satisfied. A month later, Chloe went to the hospital to get her cast off. I happened to be free, so I went with her. Honestly, I didn't go with the intention of seeing Silas, so when I saw him in the hospital, I was very calm. It was just a normal doctor-patient-family dynamic. But when Silas was talking to Chloe, his gaze landed on me several times. I discreetly sniffed my wrist. Did the perfume I sprayed yesterday last until today? After the cast came off, Chloe's boyfriend came to pick her up. They invited me to dinner, but I didn't want to be a third wheel, so I made up an excuse about having plans and told them to go ahead. Walking out to the lobby, I bumped into Silas, who was just getting off work. Afraid he'd think I was waiting for him on purpose, I quickened my pace, trying to leave the hospital before him. Silas suddenly called out: "Sloane." I slammed on the brakes. He took long strides and stopped in front of me: "Why are you running?" I blinked. "I wasn't running." Silas choked on his words. The air grew weirdly silent. The after-hours lobby was dimly lit. Looking up at Silas, I easily recalled the way he frowned at me from inside his car the last time we met. I lowered my head. "Well... have a good night, I'm taking off." I took two steps past him before he called out again. I turned around. "Want to grab dinner together?" He still had that cold expression; his brows didn't even twitch. But I could clearly hear my heart accelerate for two seconds. We chose a chain burger joint across from the hospital. It was dinner time, so it was pretty packed. The noisy environment slightly eased the awkwardness. Sitting across from Silas, I suddenly felt completely out of my depth. In all my years of being a simp, I rarely felt this way. When the food arrived, we both kept our heads down and ate without a single word of exchange, like strangers forced to share a table. But my eyes inevitably drifted to him. He sat perfectly straight, chewing almost soundlessly. Paired with his perpetually expressionless face, he looked like a Michelin judge critically evaluating the food. I couldn't help but blurt out, "Is it good?" Silas looked up. I rubbed my nose. "You look so serious eating it." The corner of his lips curled up. This was the first time I'd seen Silas smile. Under the warm white lights, his eyes softened, his eyelashes fluttered, and his pale lips curved into a gentle arc. Those dark eyes, now brimming with amusement, looked at me again. I suddenly lost my voice. Honestly, if someone didn't know Silas, they might not even realize he was smiling. But in my heart, one sentence kept echoing on loop: The fragrance of a high mountain flower is truly an exclusive reward for the brave mountaineer. "Yeah, it's good," he said. In the end, Silas drove me home. We barely spoke on the way. When we arrived, I said "Bye," and he replied "Hmm." It looked like just two casual friends who happened to grab a bite. But I vaguely felt that something was different now. And that difference made me panic. 6 Ever since I was a teenager, I realized I was a bit different from other girls. I was easily attracted to dazzling, outstanding guys, and could effortlessly harbor crushes, chase them, and express my affection without any emotional baggage. But the moment they reciprocated, all my feelings would vanish into thin air. After it happened a few times, I got tired of it. I forced myself to date a decent guy for a while. In the end, we had an ugly breakup. He pointed a finger in my face and demanded, "Sloane, were you just playing me from the very beginning?" I wanted to tell him no, I really wasn't. In the beginning, my feelings for him were so genuine and pure, without any ulterior motives, not even demanding a response. I didn't understand why I was like this. Later on, I simply stopped trying to date and focused on being a simp. If the guy didn't respond, perfect. If he did, I ran. It satisfied me without hurting anyone else. So, when I sensed a shift in Silas's attitude, I chose to ice him out. For several days, I didn't text him. But since I'd spent almost two months on him, I couldn't bear to delete him. I let him lie quietly in my contact list. A colorful stroke in my history of simping. At the same time, I found a new male god. Our company's new Creative Director, Liam Sterling. Handsome, highly capable, and extremely polite. Most importantly, he looked like the type who would never fall for me. I was very pleased. At his welcome dinner, I successfully got on his radar and added him on IG. Casually scrolling through his feed, I noticed his favorite restaurant. So, on Friday night, I walked into that $100-a-plate Italian restaurant I probably would never visit otherwise, and faked a very coincidental encounter with Liam, who was dining alone. Acting super familiar, I sat right across from him. He just raised an eyebrow in surprise, showing no signs of disgust. Simp Rule #3: Maintain an atmosphere of push-and-pull. I didn't immediately act overly eager. Instead, I brought up some light topics to open the conversation. As time passed, we fell into a rhythm. He started talking more, sometimes even actively guiding the conversation. I was incredibly satisfied. Just as we were having a great time, my phone buzzed on the table. I glanced down. Silas's name blared on the screen. Silas: [You've been busy lately?] ??? He was actually initiating a text? But unfortunate for him, my affections had already shifted. So, I pulled out my playbook for brushing guys off. Me: [I sure am, babe. Work has been crazy lately, I'm still at the office doing overtime.] To make sure he wouldn't reply, I even laid it on thick, acting like a total pick-me by calling him "babe." Yeah, that should be gross enough, right? I had just locked my screen when another message came in. Silas: [Overtime?] He actually replied? Any other time, I'd play along and chat with him. But right now, I was sitting across from my new crush. How could I keep staring at my phone? So I brushed him off: [Yep yep.] He didn't reply again. I quickly shoved my phone in my pocket and went back to laughing and talking with Liam. Then, my phone buzzed again. I held back for two seconds before pulling it out, intending to turn it on silent. I accidentally glanced at the latest message. Silas: [Then why don't you look behind you.] 7 My brain exploded with a loud boom. Waves of numbness shot down my spine. Bracing myself, I slowly turned around. Not far behind me, in a corner booth by the window, sat the very iceberg I had been simping over for two months: Silas. He was leaning back, arms crossed, staring at me with an unreadable expression. Is there any situation more horrifying than this? I actually felt the bizarre guilt of being caught cheating. Even though I wasn't involved with either of these men! I frantically turned back around. Liam noticed my weird behavior and glanced behind me. "Everything okay?" I opened my mouth to explain when another text popped up. Silas: [Having fun?] Me: [...] Was this divine punishment for being a serial chaser? Silas: [Come over here.] I looked up at Liam. Me: [Why?] Silas: [Do me a favor.] What favor could he possibly need? Then again, favors were rare, but simping is a long game. I gritted my teeth and excused myself to Liam. "Liam, I just saw a friend I know. I'm gonna go say hi for a bit." Liam paused but agreed easily. "Sure, go ahead." I bolted over to Silas's table. "What do you need help with?" He took a sip of water before looking up at me. "I'm on a blind date." My face was full of question marks. "Where's the date?" "Restroom." No wonder I hadn't noticed him earlier; he had been blocked by his date. I suddenly realized something. "Wait, you don't want me to crash your blind date, do you?" He raised an eyebrow. "Yes." Me: [...] What do you mean 'Yes'?! Do I look like a professional homewrecker? I was about to argue when his date returned. I hijacked her seat. "And this is...?" the gorgeous woman asked, looking at Silas. Amidst the awkward tension, I shot up like my chair was on fire. "Ms. Greene." Just as I stood up, Silas spoke. My heart clenched tightly. Please don't tell me he was about to paint me as his crazy stalker ex. "This is my ex-girlfriend." I froze. Holy crap, I guessed right? "There are still some unresolved feelings between us, so..." Unresolved feelings? I whipped my head to stare at Silas. The woman called Ms. Greene paused, then replied with utmost grace and understanding: "I understand." And left on her own. That easy? Wait. Since Ms. Greene was so understanding, Silas could have just rejected her directly. Why drag me over for this unnecessary "favor"? Before I could question him, Silas beat me to it. "Overtime?" Me: [...] I forced an explanation: "I was working overtime earlier." Silas let out an "Oh," and said, "And then came to the restaurant to continue your overtime?" Me: [...] Fine. Lying is wrong, I take the L. I pursed my lips and prepared to leave. Silas, probably thinking I was going back to Liam's table, reminded me deadpan, "He left." I looked over. He really had left. When I turned back, Silas was staring at me. Those dark eyes were completely unreadable. In a flash, it felt like the night we ate burgers together. I felt that same sudden awkwardness. The air was quiet for a few seconds before he looked away. His voice was hoarse, almost like a sigh. "I'll take you home." Sitting in his familiar car, the atmosphere was even colder than last time. Silas maintained his expressionless facade, but through the tight line of his jaw, I could sense his displeasure. I tried to lighten the mood: "That restaurant tonight was pretty good, huh." Duh, every bite was literally eating money, of course it was good. Silas didn't reply. The temperature dropped another few degrees. I kept forcing a smile. "I can't believe someone as amazing as you has to go on blind dates. Ms. Greene seemed lovely, you weren't into her?" Silas still didn't reply. ...Whatever, silence it is. I looked down, awkwardly rubbing my nose, when he suddenly called my name: "Sloane." "Yeah?" "Are you always like this?" I didn't process it at first, turning to him: "Huh?" "Casually liking someone, and then instantly moving on to the next." I froze completely. He kept his eyes on the road. The streetlights blurred past the window, making it impossible to read his expression. But I could feel the air pressure drop to zero. I swallowed hard. "I told you, I don't demand a response. Whether I like someone or not is entirely my own business." The moment the words left my mouth, Silas's knuckles on the steering wheel turned white. "So why do you have to do it?" His voice was freezing. "Not asking for a response, just blindly expressing affection... aren't you afraid of burdening the other person?" Of course I was afraid. That's exactly why I only picked guys who would never fall for me. "As long as they don't like me back, there's no burden, right?" Silas paused. We hit a red light. As the car stopped, the neon glow illuminated his clenched jaw and furrowed brow. An indescribable emotion flared up in my chest. Blood rushed to my head, and I blurted out: "Don't tell me you fell for me?" The light turned green. Silas slammed on the gas. I was thrown back into my seat as I heard his icy reply: "I haven't."

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