I transmigrated into a billionaire romance novel as the middle-aged housekeeper, Mrs. Miller. The ascetic, old-money billionaire heir was supposed to have a steamy one-night stand with the female lead after being drugged. Instead, he pushed her away and slipped into my maid's quarters. His deep voice brushed against my ear as he let out a low chuckle: "I must say, Mrs. Miller... you're aging like fine wine." 01 On my one-hundred-and-twentieth day working as the billionaire’s housekeeper, the rain was pouring outside. I had just finished cleaning the forty-thousand-square-foot mega-mansion when CEO Carter Sterling walked in, carrying the female lead, Emma Hayes, in his arms. Thomas, the butler, practically shoved me out of the way, looking shocked and overjoyed: "This is the very first time I've seen the Young Master bring a girl home!" I couldn't hold it back. A loud, bubbling snort escaped my throat. "Sorry, first time being a housekeeper. I’m still getting the hang of the cliches." Carter didn't hear me. With a dark expression, he ordered me to bandage Emma's wounds. I observed her for a solid minute and finally found a one-millimeter scratch on her finger. If I didn't hurry up, it was going to heal on its own. The second my alcohol swab touched it, Emma cried out in pain. Carter snapped at me: "Mrs. Miller, why are you so clumsy?!" Hilarious. Being clumsy is part of my base salary. Being smart costs extra. Carter ended up applying the ointment himself. I stood to the side, staring blankly at the floor. He suddenly looked up. "Mrs. Miller, bring her a set of your clean clothes." Huh? I pointed a finger at myself. "Me?" "Who else?" Carter sneered. "Is there any other woman in this mansion?" Emma smiled shyly and buried her face in his chest. "All these years... have you been saving yourself for me?" ... Okay, fine. I'm just a prop to them, aren't I? Emma held my clothes, sounding utterly bewildered: "Mrs. Miller, aren't your clothes a bit... formal?" I winked at her. "Trust me. No man in this world can resist a woman in uniform." It was the standard-issue uniform I received after my domestic service training. It was stiff, thick, and fully modest. Brand new, too! I hadn't even worn it yet! At 3:00 AM, I was sleeping soundly when I was yanked out of bed and ordered to brew an organic herbal detox tea for Emma. I really wanted to die. But I felt like someone else in this house deserved to die more. Emma walked out wearing Carter's oversized white dress shirt, her bare legs practically glowing in the dim light. "Thank you for your hard work, Mrs. Miller. I'm so sorry to trouble you with brewing tea this late." My face was deadpan. "It's not hard work. It's just a hard life." Her cheeks flushed pink. "Mrs. Miller, your clothes got... they got torn. I'll buy you a new set next time." My jaw dropped. As expected of a dominant CEO. He had so much relentless energy he could rip a heavy fleece jacket with his bare hands. After serving Emma her tea, I went back to my maid's quarters, expertly pulled out my phone, and opened TikTok. A young guy was dancing on a livestream, his waist rolling in a way that made my blood pump. I had been watching him for three months, but he never showed his face. Hearing the notification that I sent a tip, he drawled lazily into the mic: "Thanks for the pennies, Cougar Mrs. Miller." 02 I couldn't figure it out. I had simply fallen asleep during my 8 AM college lecture. How did I wake up inside a trashy romance novel? In the book, the description of the housekeeper was exactly one sentence long: Mrs. Miller was from the countryside; her sallow face was constantly covered in a layer of dust, radiating the honest, simple vibe of the working class. After washing my face, I looked at the pale, clear-skinned girl in the mirror and rolled my eyes. Did the author have major mommy issues? I wasn't even thirty yet! I opened my door to walk out when—SMASH!—a vase shattered right at my feet. Carter was clenching his fists, his eyes practically murderous. "If she doesn't wake up, I'll bury all of you with her!" My face was full of question marks. Was Emma attacked by armed robbers? Did she catch a terminal illness? Thomas the butler whispered, "Miss Emma couldn't sleep last night, so she took a sleeping pill. She's just sleeping soundly right now." "???" Damn it, am I just a punching bag to them? Emma takes a nap, and we all get death threats. "Mrs. Miller, what is that look in your eyes? Are you trying to rebel?!" Carter suddenly shot a freezing glare at me. "No, no, no. How could I dare?" I put on my most sincere tone: "I just think it's pointless for you to yell at me, considering I'm utterly defenseless." You're only bullying me because I'm an easy target. Carter stood guard in the bedroom to watch Emma sleep, while I diligently mopped the floors downstairs. In my free time, I sent a private message to harass my favorite streamer. [Auntie tipped you twenty bucks. When are you going to call Auntie 'baby'?] [You know Auntie has been single since birth.] A long time later, the streamer, whose username was just a string of random characters, replied. [Are you sober?] My face flushed. I remembered whining to him all night yesterday, cursing out this stupid CEO and this broken novel. Since I've known him, I've treated him as my one-way emotional dumping ground. Even though he wasn't exactly warm, he never blocked me. Heh, he definitely has a soft spot for me. I let out a long breath and typed: [Auntie never drinks. I just get drunk on your sweet dimples~] Streamer: [...] Before I could flirt any further, a new message popped up in the mansion's staff group chat. Carter: [Emma is awake. Keep your mouths shut. If anyone startles her, I'll bury you.] [Mrs. Miller, go build a swing set in the garden. Make sure it's decorated beautifully.] [And prepare dinner.] Carter forwarded a picture of a 15-course Michelin-star tasting menu and tagged me. [Just make these. It'll be enough.] ... You couldn't mine a lunatic this pure from a gold mine. I held my temper, thought about my lucrative salary, and slowly typed an "OK" emoji. Other girls transmigrate into novels and get hugged and kissed. I just spend all day typing "OK" and "Received" in a corporate group chat. This life is unbearable! While I was digging dirt in the yard, before the swing was even finished, the atmosphere in the mansion suddenly grew tense. Thomas looked deeply worried. "Young Master Sebastian Vance is coming over. The Master must be so stressed." I recalled the plot. Sebastian Vance was the ascetic, old-money heir of the elite circle—and also Emma's ultimate "white knight." He had just returned from studying abroad. At a banquet, he would be drugged, share a wild night of passion with Emma, and become hopelessly addicted to her, kicking off a melodramatic love triangle. 03 When I read the novel, I thought it was thrilling and exciting. But now, as the housekeeper staring at the massive banquet menu on my phone, I was dead silent. What kind of cheapskate billionaire is this?! Can't you hire a few extra maids?! I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into the kitchen and finally managed to scrape together nine dishes and a soup. I braced myself and served the food. Carter had his arm around Emma, glaring defensively at the man across the table. The legendary ascetic heir twirled a string of wooden sandalwood beads in his hand. He looked up lazily, our eyes meeting from across the room. I was momentarily blinded by those gorgeous, striking eyes. The novel never mentioned Sebastian was this good-looking. His face was so flawless he looked like he stepped out of an anime. Carter sneered: "Eat up. These are Mrs. Miller's specialties. You won't find delicacies like this overseas." Sebastian lazily took a bite of the scrambled eggs with tomatoes. His expression instantly froze. Help! I suddenly remembered I might have mistaken the salt for sugar and dumped two giant spoonfuls in! Meeting my panicked gaze, he paused, then critiqued: "Not bad. "These tomatoes... taste very much like tomatoes." Carter reached his chopsticks toward the eggs too. Great. Wonderful. My anxiety can finally rest in peace. Because this psycho CEO is definitely going to execute me now. In the blink of an eye, a massive CRASH echoed through the room— Sebastian flipped the dining table! He declared, full of possessive rage: "What I like, no one else is allowed to touch!" Huh? Wait... Have the elite old-money heirs evolved to this level of melodrama now? What a beautiful mental state. He's a hundred years ahead of my time. But thankfully, Carter was so enraged by Sebastian that he lost his appetite and completely forgot to torture me. Emma’s eyes filled with tears: "Sebastian... are you still mad at me for leaving all those years ago?" Sebastian leaned bonelessly against the doorframe, lazily spinning his beads. A cold, detached smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Do you even deserve my anger?" Seeing Emma get bullied, the CEO instantly exploded into a rage, raising his fists to fight. Sebastian dodged, and the two men tackled each other to the floor. Emma cried like her heart was breaking: "Stop fighting! Stop it! "Don't fight anymore!" ... Damn it. Looking at the mess on the floor, I was so annoyed. I was going to have to clean this up all afternoon. Both men ended up with bruised faces. Emma held the first-aid kit, hesitating, not knowing who to treat first. Carter stared at Emma like a hungry wolf. Sebastian turned to me and curved his lips into a smile. "Mrs. Miller, it hurts." His voice was soft, whining like a little kitten. While Emma watched with a wounded expression, I roughly bandaged Sebastian's cuts. He spun his beads with a profound, mysterious look, while wincing in pain: "Mrs. Miller cooks and heals wounds. Truly a jack of all trades." So sarcastic. No wonder you couldn't get the girl. Other guys are having their second kid, and you're still just the backup plan. 04 Thank goodness, for the evening banquet, Carter finally hired a professional catering team. Glasses clinked, and fancy dresses rustled. Sebastian didn't seem to like these kinds of scenes. Frowning, he stayed alone in a dimly lit corner. When no one was looking, I swiped a cupcake and a glass of red wine, planning to sneak back to my maid's room to enjoy them in peace. A hand clamped down on my arm. "Good appetite, Mrs. Miller?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow at me. "Hehehehe. "Getting older, you know? Just craving something sweet. "Please don't tell the boss, Young Master Sebastian." Otherwise, that psycho would get mad and bury me alive again. Sebastian frowned. "Are you afraid of him?" "No, I just respect my profession." Sebastian suddenly burst out laughing. His voice was deep, melodic, and incredibly magnetic. He grabbed a larger plate and loaded it up with barbecue, desserts, and fruit from the buffet. Finally, he handed it to me with a smile. "Eat up. These are actually pretty good." What a great guy. I sincerely blessed him: "I'm sure you will have a wonderfully magical night tonight!" I sat in my room, eating barbecue and drinking wine. The noise outside gradually quieted down. I was hugging the wine bottle, drunk and about to fall asleep, when my door handle suddenly clicked open. Sebastian stumbled in, his steps unsteady. His pale cheeks were flushed an unnatural red, and his eyes were hazy as he pinned me against my dresser. One look and I knew he had been drugged. In a daze, he lowered his head to kiss me. I jumped three feet in the air and shoved his burning hot arms away. "You're sleeping with the wrong person!" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard. "Wake up! I'm Mrs. Miller!" "Mrs. Miller?" He mumbled to himself. His beautiful eyes seemed to regain clarity for a split second before curving into a crescent shape. He drawled out lazily: "I must say, Mrs. Miller... you're aging like fine wine." ... You must be really starving! "Don't move. Let me hug you for a second. Just a second." He pulled me into his arms. His breathing was heavy and ragged, yet his tone remained unhurried and calm. The hard, burning heat pressing against my waist was impossible to ignore. I stood stiffly, letting him hug me. My gaze drifted downward, catching sight of a red mole on his collarbone. That mole looked so familiar... The streamer with the abs who I had been harassing for months seemed to have one just like it... Noticing my stare, Sebastian casually reached up and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, grabbed my hand, and pressed it against his chest. He leaned in close to my ear, his smile dripping with seductive charm. "Single since birth? "Want me to call you baby? "Hmm? Cat got your tongue?" ... Some people are alive, but they are already dead. The skin beneath my palm was burning hot. As someone who had been single for twenty years, I couldn't help but touch it again, and again. I was thoroughly satisfied. I embarrassingly sniffled. "Can I... touch the abs too?" ... "Go ahead." The drugged man was exceptionally generous. But the moment my hand pressed against his abs, he nearly crushed the wooden beads in his hand. I don't know what happened, but things quickly spiraled out of control... By the time I realized what I was doing, I had already pinned Sebastian—who was weakly protesting "No"—onto my bed. "Your mouth says no, but your body is very honest. "The ascetic heir likes dancing provocatively, huh?" I mimicked his teasing tone. Sebastian's face turned as red as a boiled lobster. Just as he lost his self-control and lowered his head to kiss me, I slapped his hand away. I reluctantly patted his head. "Be a good boy. Auntie never takes advantage of people in a vulnerable state. "How could my smoky, exhausted scent ever be worthy of your milky, sweet scent?" With that, I rolled over, wrapped myself in the blanket, and pretended to sleep. My heart was pounding out of my chest. That was a close call. I almost forgot this was a novel. Based on my extensive reading experience, once the plot reaches the end of the novel, I should be able to transmigrate back home. The ending meant the male and female leads surviving all their trials and getting happily married. And in the plot, Sebastian belonged to the female lead too. 05 When I woke up, beside me was Sebastian, clutching the blanket with a deeply unsatisfied expression on his face. I suddenly remembered something very important. "You're the elite billionaire heir? Does that mean you're insanely rich?!" Sebastian looked at me, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. "You're just figuring that out now? "Speak. What do you want? I'll satisfy your wildest dreams." Awesome, awesome. Money is great. I pressed my palms together and asked sincerely: "Can you refund the twenty bucks I tipped you? "Auntie is begging you!" The veins on Sebastian's forehead throbbed. "Call yourself Auntie one more time and see what happens." He glared at me in annoyance. "Over twenty bucks? You really aim high, don't you." I hopped out of bed, thrilled. Thomas the butler saw me and immediately started scolding me. "Why are you up so late? Hurry up and make breakfast! The Master and Miss Emma are about to wake up." ... So annoying. Why do I have to cook again? Sebastian walked up behind me and scoffed. "How did you manage to fake it before?" I rubbed my nose. "I hoarded two boxes of microwave meal prep kits. But I ran out. "I was planning to buy more, but the price went up. It wasn't worth it..." Sebastian stared at me for two seconds, then let out a resigned sigh. "Go distract the butler. I'll cook." Thank you, you wonderful man. Sebastian rolled up his sleeves and expertly fried some eggs. The apron strings cinched his waist, making it look incredibly narrow. When he bent over, the sliver of skin exposed above his waistband was blindingly white. Truly a high-quality male who belongs in the kitchen as much as he belongs in bed. I put on a show of carrying the breakfast out to the flirting male and female leads. Seeing Sebastian walk over, Emma hurriedly slipped out of the CEO's embrace, looking panicked. "Sebastian, where did you sleep last night? "The butler told me you came out of Mrs. Miller's room this morning!" She cast a suspicious look back and forth between me and Sebastian. I secretly pinched Sebastian's back, warning him not to say anything stupid. "I did go to Mrs. Miller's room." Sebastian glanced at me, enunciating every word slowly: "Mainly because I just... love caring for the elderly." ... So filial. I'm dying of his filial piety. The crazy part was, Emma actually believed it. Carter wasn't interested in any of this. He just critically evaluated the breakfast. "The food Mrs. Miller made today feels like it's missing a little something." Yeah. It's missing that artificial MSG flavor. Looks like Carter really enjoyed those microwave meal kits.
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