I turned into a ghost and wandered for ten years. An internet streamer found my treasured, half-burnt photo, and started a viral campaign: "Finding Liam." When I finally saw him again, he was about to get married. I just wanted to disappear... But when I actually disappeared, he ended up dying alone. Right before he died, he was still holding that half-burnt photo. 1 The night I died, a sudden fire broke out at the psychiatric hospital. Because of the hospital's special design, many patients couldn't escape and perished in the flames. After I died, I just wandered around the hospital. At first, I had a few companions. But as time went on, they gradually faded away. Leaving me here all alone. I couldn't wander too far from the hospital, so I spent my days sitting by the window, letting time slip away. I watched the sunset so many times, way more than forty-four times. Ten years passed like this. The hospital slowly fell into ruin. The weeds outside grew taller and taller, thorns wrapped around the crumbling walls, and wild roses bloomed amidst the rubble. The locals said the place was haunted by a female ghost who ate people. They warned their children to stay away, saying the ghost would snatch them if they misbehaved. Absolute nonsense! I have never eaten a person! And I definitely wouldn't snatch a child! ... One day, a girl suddenly appeared, holding her phone and talking to herself: "Hey guys, it's your girl Chloe! I'm here at the legendary haunted Greenview Psychiatric Hospital. It's been abandoned for ten years. Rumor has it that a massive fire broke out here, killing twenty-seven people. They say the youngest victim was only eighteen. After the fire, the director was even arrested. Tonight, we're going to explore this place and see if there are really ghosts here." I floated over her shoulder and peeked at her phone. I got it! She was live-streaming! Some of the locals did that to make money too. She suddenly shrunk her neck and continued: "Even though it's been ten years, you can still see how huge the fire was. The walls are all black, the scorch marks are everywhere..." She walked and talked, eventually making her way into my old room. She panned the camera around the pitch-black room, and her eyes landed on a corner of the wall. Chloe crouched down and pulled a blackened tin box from a crack in the wall. I was jumping up and down anxiously. "That's mine!" "Mine!" "Don't touch it!" But she couldn't hear me, and she even opened my tin box. "Ah!" My secret was exposed just like that. She was so mean! She picked up the half-burnt photo inside and showed it to the camera: "Look guys! The girl in this photo is so pretty. She looks really young, I wonder if she was even an adult." I snorted angrily: "Don't think I'll forgive you just because you called me pretty! And yes, I was an adult! Not little at all!" I even had a boyfriend! Comments started rolling across the screen— [Could she be the patient who died at eighteen?] [The spirits of minors who die tragically are super vengeful! Better not touch her stuff!] [What a shame, so young, and she's gone.] [I heard this hospital had insanely strict security measures back then. Otherwise, when the fire started, so many patients wouldn't have been trapped inside.] [Wait, look next to the photo. You can see a shoulder wearing a black jacket, looks like a guy.] [Is that the guy she liked?] [A mental patient can like someone?] [Being liked by a psycho... just thinking about it gives me the creeps.] I felt a little sad reading those comments. I wasn't a psycho, I just... had autism. My dad said that as long as I got treated and got better, I could date. I was capable of liking someone. I wasn't a psycho. Chloe frowned at her phone and said: "Whoever said that, get out of my stream. Calling someone a psycho... you think you're so normal? Your whole family is 'normal'." I thought, maybe Chloe wasn't so bad after all. She flipped the photo over and saw the two words written on the back. "Liam." 2 Liam was my first love. Because I refused to go to school, he became my tutor starting my junior year of high school. He was nineteen that year. My dad said he was brilliant. They went to the same high school. He was the valedictorian of our city and a top student at Columbia University. He skipped three grades and secured a spot in grad school by his junior year of college. "How about we have him be your tutor?" I didn't say anything. Whether I agreed or not, he was going to be my tutor anyway. Before Liam, my dad had hired a lot of tutors for me. But during lessons, I always preferred doing other things, like drawing or woodcarving, lost in my own world. Those tutors eventually all quit. When Liam first started, I ignored him too. I thought he would curse me out behind my back. Give me all sorts of mean nicknames. Those people thought I was stupid, that I couldn't speak or complain, so that's what they did. But he just kept explaining the math problems next to my ear, not caring if I was listening or not. Actually, I understood most of it. After the lesson, he pulled out a few worksheets. "These are worksheets based on what we covered today. Do them when you have time. We'll go over them tomorrow." I didn't do them because I wasn't interested. I scribbled all over his worksheets. He said: "That frog you drew looks pretty good." That was clearly a tree frog! How could he call it a regular frog! So annoying. "Did I say something wrong?" I ignored him. He lowered his eyes and started explaining the problems. Liam had really long eyelashes. When he blinked, they fluttered like butterfly wings. Liam was always very calm, as if he didn't care whether I responded to him or not. "Did you understand this problem? If not, you can tell me, and I'll explain it again." He tapped the desk with his fingertips. I ignored him. "Since you understand, let's move on to the next one." When I didn't understand, I would turn my head and look at him, and he would explain it again. I thought it was fun, so I purposely looked at him again after he finished explaining. Even after explaining it five times, Liam remained completely unbothered. So weird, didn't he ever get mad? A month later, I spoke my first sentence to him. "What's a little monster?" Why did my classmates call me a little monster? Liam froze for a second, then asked me: "Who said that?" I didn't tell him. He asked again: "Did someone call you that?" I nodded. Then he drew a picture for me. He asked me: "What is this?" "A snake that ate an elephant." Liam gave a very faint smile and said: "But many people think it's a hat." So silly. He said: "People always reject perspectives that differ from their own. They think you're different from them, so they have a prejudice against you. Prejudice is the real little monster. You are not." "But I am indeed different from normal people." "You are just... very special. Everyone is different, it's no big deal." No one had ever told me these things before. He asked me: "Do you want to know the story behind this drawing?" I nodded. "Finish this worksheet, and I'll tell you." Fine. Liam brought me a book. I felt I was as special as the Little Prince in the book. Liam was even more special. The Little Prince lived on a planet where he could see the sunset forty-four times a day. "Liam, I want to see the sunset forty-four times in one day too." "If you get into a college in New York, I'll take you to see it." I hesitated. I didn't like going to school, and I didn't like people out there. But if Liam was there, maybe the outside world wouldn't be so bad. 3 After the SATs, Liam took me to New York. In the university auditorium, I watched the sunset forty-four times. It was a visual effect he created using code and a 3D model. He said he wouldn't be tutoring me anymore. "Why?" "High school is over." "Liam, I like you." High school was over, but my feelings wouldn't end. "You're still young, you haven't seen the outside world." I understood. Liam wouldn't like a little monster either. "Liam, I'm not stupid. If you don't like me, you can just say so, but don't invalidate my feelings." I rarely spoke so seriously. Just because I didn't like talking didn't mean I didn't have my own thoughts. Liam was stunned. I knew a lot of people liked Liam. I could recognize that look in their eyes. But Liam couldn't understand my look, and he even invalidated my feelings. He didn't know that I only let him into my world. If he didn't want to come in, then fine. I stopped talking to Liam. No matter what he said, I wouldn't listen. As long as I wanted to, I could block out all outside noise and just live in my own world. When I was younger, I couldn't understand what other people said, and I couldn't step out of my own world. I didn't understand why my mom cried when she looked at me. When she left, I didn't feel anything special either. Later, after a long period of therapy, I finally learned how to step out of my world. Even though there were still many times I didn't understand complex emotions. But I knew that tears meant sadness. My mom didn't want me that much either. After meeting Liam, I finally understood what it meant to like someone. Liking someone meant wanting to share your world with them, wanting to be with them, and being happy even if you were doing nothing. When I told Liam my weird thoughts, he would think about them seriously before responding. Even though sometimes it wasn't the answer I wanted, I liked his answers. He never brushed me off. After Liam rejected me, when he dropped me off at my door, he asked: "Are you really never going to talk to me again?" Since he didn't like me anyway, why should he care what I thought. But I still nodded honestly. "Can't we even be friends?" "But I like you, and you don't like me. I'll be sad." "If you like someone else and are with someone else, I'll be sad too." "So, I can't be friends with you." He wasn't my friend; he was the person I liked. I would put Liam in a secret corner of my heart, making my feelings for him my own private matter. If he ever wanted to visit my world again, I would invite him. But Liam remained silent. I didn't know what he was thinking. Just as I was about to leave, Liam grabbed my wrist. He said: "I don't want you to be sad." Liam and I started dating. He was still the same as before; he texted and called me every day, told me stories, and took me out. We rode the Ferris wheel and watched the dolphins. When I was scared, he would hold my hand. He took up more and more space in my heart. I really wanted to be with Liam forever. I also wanted to smell the fresh laundry scent on him, hug him, kiss him... I really, really liked Liam. But my dad found out and forbade us from being together. My dad said he was poor and was only dating me to scam our family's money. I didn't know how to explain, I just kept repeating: "No, no, no..." Liam wasn't that kind of person. "He likes me, and I like him too." My dad said: "What do you know about liking someone? He's a normal person, how could he possibly like you! He just thinks you're easy to fool! I never should have hired him to be your tutor!" "No! No! No!" "Liam didn't scam me!" "I know what it means to like someone!" "You don't! You're just being fooled by him!" "I know!" "I just know!" "Ah!" No one cared about my screams. My dad locked me in my room and wouldn't let me see Liam. On a rainy day, Liam stood outside our villa, refusing to leave. I screamed so loudly in my room that my throat hurt, but my dad wouldn't open the door. "Wait for Liam." Just wait a little longer, give him some time, Liam would become very successful in the future. He wasn't after our family's money. He truly liked me. I retreated back into my own world. I stopped talking to my dad, stopped eating, and only wanted to see Liam. My dad said: "As long as you behave and get treated, once you're better, I'll let you see him." "Be together." Not just see him, I wanted to be with him. "Okay, when you're better, I'll let you be together." I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, taking medication and undergoing therapy every day. Most of the time, I could only look at the outside world through the window. I kept waiting, waiting until I was normal, then I could be with Liam. Even though I didn't know what "normal" meant. I could finish all the SAT practice tests and get a very high score, but they wouldn't ask me those questions. Instead, they asked me very difficult questions. "What do you think it means to like someone?" "Do you understand the concept of love or marriage?" I didn't speak. That day, a new patient arrived at the hospital. The nurse said she hid her history of mental illness, but relapsed after getting married, and now her husband had committed her. The nurse said she harmed herself and others. Mental illness is hereditary; that poor man must really regret liking her and marrying her. I suddenly felt very scared. It turned out that just liking someone wasn't enough to be together. Even if you are together, you might regret it. Maybe they were right, I didn't understand anything. I've been dead for ten years, and I still don't understand. Why was I locked in a psychiatric hospital for treatment just because I liked Liam? Why didn't anyone believe that I truly liked Liam? 4 Chloe suddenly became very excited. She spoke into her phone: "Why don't we start an event called 'Finding Liam'! Let's uncover the story behind this half photo!" She put the photo back into the tin box and then took the box, leaving the hospital. I was anxious, so I had to follow her. "Give it back to me!" "That's my photo!" But she couldn't hear me. Then I left the hospital and followed her all the way back to her house. I realized that it wasn't the hospital that bound me, but that photo. I could only move around the photo. I watched helplessly as Chloe posted my photo online. she collected news, contacted various people, and asked around about Greenview Psychiatric Hospital. "The entire internet is searching for Liam" became a trending topic. I was a little scared, afraid that Liam would find out I was dead. He would be very sad. If Liam died, I would probably never step out of my world again. But I couldn't stop Chloe. Because I was already dead. At this time. Chloe scrolled past a news article. Tech mogul Liam was returning to the US next week to attend an AI summit. "Liam!" She sat up abruptly from her bed, her face mask falling off. Then, she muttered to herself: "No way, no way." I stared at the photo in the news article, afraid to blink. It was Liam. It was thirty-year-old Liam. It was my first love, Liam. So, he had been living abroad all this time? Did he forget about me? Why didn't he ever visit me at the hospital? Was it because I wasn't cured? Also, why wasn't thirty-year-old Liam smiling? Was he unhappy? I really wanted to see him. I looked at Chloe, then at her house. Forget it, that would be too hard for her. Two days later, someone commented online saying they knew me. Chloe was ecstatic when she saw the message, dancing around. She really loved making a fuss over nothing; Liam was never like that. When she calmed down, I nervously looked at the phone with her. "The person in the photo was my high school classmate. She stopped coming to school much in her junior year, and after that, there was no news of her. Her name is Aria. She wasn't quite normal, but she wouldn't hurt anyone either. She just didn't pay attention in class, always turned in blank tests, and acted like she couldn't hear what anyone said. She never talked to anyone. Thinking back, she probably had autism." Exactly, it was autism, not a mental illness. "Besides not studying, not talking, and ignoring people, she was pretty normal in other ways." Chloe immediately contacted the person. "Then do you know Liam? What was his relationship with Aria?" "I don't know him, Aria ignored everyone. But the name Liam sounds familiar, let me think." I secretly prayed that he wouldn't remember. But my prayers were useless. "I remember now! He was our senior in my junior year, the valedictorian of our city that year! If you search the news, you should be able to find his photo." After Chloe searched, she let out a curse word. "Holy shit! Is this the Liam who is one of the top three internet moguls right now? This can't be a coincidence!" Of course it's not. Chloe, please, please, whatever you do, don't ask Liam about the photo. The day Liam returned to the country, Chloe still managed to contact her journalist friend and went to ambush Liam. During those few days beside Chloe, I discovered something: the six degrees of separation theory didn't apply to her. It seemed there was no one she didn't know; two degrees were enough. I floated beside Chloe, super nervous. Although I was afraid Liam would find out I was dead, I finally got to see him secretly. And so, I got my wish to see thirty-year-old Liam. Only there was a woman beside him, holding his arm, walking very closely with him. I was a little angry and a little sad. I had never even held Liam's arm. Would Liam like her the same way he liked me? Thinking about this, my heart felt like it was raining acid, corroding little by little. But I was also a little happy, because Liam seemed to be doing very well. Chloe rushed straight up and held up the half photo, asking: "Liam! Do you still recognize the person in the photo?" Help me! How could she be so reckless! Her question was very abrupt and inappropriate. But Liam stopped in his tracks. His gaze fell on the photo, and then he looked at Chloe coldly. Not only was Chloe scared. I was also scared into taking a step back. Liam's look, it was as if he wanted to eat someone. "I don't know her." 5 My suspended expectations crashed heavily to the ground. Liam said he didn't know me. Chloe sat in the car, holding the photo, puzzled: "Did I really get it wrong? But Liam's reaction just now was very strange, it didn't seem like he didn't recognize her." I didn't understand how Liam could forget me. Was his past affection fake? I didn't even mind that he liked someone else, but how could he forget me? Now, even if he knew I was dead, he probably wouldn't be sad anymore. Suddenly, someone knocked on Chloe's car window. It was the woman who had been standing with Liam. She said: "Hello, my name is Mia. I can pay you for that photo in your hand. Name your price." "I'm sorry, it's not for sale at any price. But if you can tell me whether Liam recognizes the person in this photo, I might just give it to you." "I can tell you, the person in the photo almost ruined Liam." "What?" "Owning this photo isn't a good thing." Mia looked at the photo and said: "Everything related to this woman is a minefield for Liam. You better be careful." "Is that so?" Chloe gave the photo to Mia. I heard her mutter behind her back: "Things are getting interesting." "Whether it's a minefield or what, I have to step on it to find out." ? I thought Mia would destroy the photo, but I didn't expect... She actually took the photo to the hotel and gave it to Liam. "You still haven't let her go, have you?" Liam took the photo, didn't even glance at it, and threw it straight into the trash can. He said: "I've long forgotten who she is." "Heh." I felt Mia's attitude was a bit strange. I sat at Liam's feet, looking at the photo in the trash can, unable to describe how terrible I felt. That was the only photo Liam and I had together. I took it with a camera when we went to the amusement park together. I still remember he was holding pink cotton candy in his hand, and it was so sweet. He also said he would always like me. He changed his mind. But I didn't. When I went back that day, I developed two copies of the photo. One was torn up by my dad. It was also because of the photo that he found out about Liam and me dating. I secretly brought the remaining photo into the psychiatric hospital. During the fire, I hid the photo in a tin box that used to hold candy. There was a mouse hole behind the peeling wallpaper, I put the tin box inside and blocked it with my body. By some miracle, half of the photo survived. After becoming a ghost, I drew Liam's face in my mind every day. Even though the photo was ruined, I never forgot what he looked like. Every word he said to me, I remembered. It was all in my head. But, Liam forgot.
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