The summer we turned eighteen, Mason took my virginity. I pushed through the discomfort, secretly beaming all night, thinking my agonizing six-year crush had finally blossomed into true love. That is, until the next day, when I overheard his friends teasing him. "Not bad, man. The school's sweetheart let you score your first time." I felt a bit embarrassed and was about to slip away quietly. Then I heard Mason’s careless, indifferent reply. "I want to ask the Homecoming Queen out, but I was worried she'd think I was too inexperienced." "I just used Emma to practice my technique." I didn't say a single word. At the very last second before the deadline, I silently changed my college commitment from an Ivy League in New York to a university all the way in California. 01 Mason's words hit me like a sudden clap of thunder. My mind went entirely blank. On a sweltering summer afternoon, I suddenly felt freezing cold. The conversation inside the classroom continued. The guys seemed stunned for a second before speaking up again. "Gotta hand it to Mason. A girl like Emma is only fit for practice." "Doesn't that make her basically… a backup hookup?" Mason laughed dismissively. "Don't talk nonsense. It's not like she lost out on anything." Someone immediately chimed in. "True, true. Emma's a bit too skinny. Compared to Mia's body..." Mason threw a textbook at the guy, cutting him off. "It was just an impulse. The mood was right. Plus, she looked like she was desperate for it anyway..." The guys shared a knowing look and began hyping him up. "Who knew the quiet girl was actually so wild?" "Tsk, it just proves our boy Mason has too much rizz. Free meat at your mouth, might as well take a bite." "She's been obsessing over Mason for years. It's a dream come true for her, she probably wanted to jump you ages ago." The laughter inside the room grew louder and rowdier. I bit my lower lip so hard I tasted copper, my hands balled into tight fists. It took every ounce of my strength to steady myself so I wouldn't collapse outside the classroom door. Footsteps echoed from the end of the hallway. Snapping out of my daze, I fled the scene in a panic, hiding myself in a bathroom stall. 02 The tears of heartbreak and humiliation broke through the dam. Mason's words echoed in my mind, word by word, destroying every last shred of my self-esteem. If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I never would have believed that the boy who held me so tenderly last night was the same person speaking so callously now. It turns out you don't need to be in love to do something so intimate. You can lie to someone even when they are completely vulnerable. I was foolishly waiting for our happily-ever-after, when in reality, I was just a joke in someone else's mouth. I cried harder and harder, my body shaking uncontrollably, but I didn't dare make a sound. A long time passed. My phone buzzed with a text. It was Mason. [Call an Uber and go home first. The guys and I have a party tonight, it's not convenient to bring you.] I didn't reply. He sent another. [Make sure you go to CVS and get the Plan B pill yourself, I don't have time today. You MUST take it. Be good.] I stared at those two messages in utter silence. Yesterday, from sunset to dawn, Mason had tossed and turned with me again and again. Before we both passed out from exhaustion, he held me close and mumbled specifically: "I didn't have protection for our first time. Remind me to buy you the pill tomorrow." He even lectured me, saying a girl needs to protect herself, that emergency contraceptives are a must because he didn't want to mess up my body. At the time, I thought he cared about me. I thought he was responsible. I thought I had finally found my happiness. But now... In an instant, my mind cleared. I dug my nails into my palms, forcing myself to stop crying. I wiped my tears, fixed my hair, and walked out of the bathroom. Too embarrassed to go to a pharmacy in person, I ordered the pill through DoorDash. When the driver dropped it off at my porch, I waited a long time before I dared to sneak out and grab it. After swallowing the pill with tears in my eyes, I felt like I had lost all my strength. I just sat blankly on my rug. Ever since I moved next door to Mason at age eight, I had been his little shadow. Ten years of following him around. I had never imagined a world without him in it. I didn't dare to. But from today onward, it would just be me. Outside the window, the streetlights flickered on, then eventually died out. I don't know how much time passed before my best friend Lily FaceTimed me. "Emma, why aren't you at our class party with Mason? "That Mia girl from the other class showed up. Since you're not here, she's throwing herself all over Mason. They're making me sick." Lily flipped her camera around. 03 In a dimly lit corner of the VIP booth, Mason and Mia, the Homecoming Queen, were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder. Mia was wearing a crop top and a tight denim skirt, showing off her tiny waist and long legs. They were visibly isolated from the rest of the group, whispering so closely their faces were practically touching. Even through the screen, the intense, flirtatious chemistry was suffocating. My chest tightened uncontrollably. Mason had said this afternoon that he wanted to pursue her. It looked like he had already succeeded by nightfall. Mia drew a "Truth or Dare" card that required a guy to do push-ups with a girl lying underneath him. Unsurprisingly, Mason immediately stood up. The crowd started howling. Blushing, Mia obediently lay down on the leather sofa. Mason hovered over her, knocking out dozens of push-ups without breaking a sweat. For most of it, he maintained extreme control, carefully avoiding touching Mia's body. Until the very last one. I don't know if his arms finally gave out, or if he did it on purpose. He collapsed, pressing his entire body directly against hers. The screaming in the room reached a fever pitch, nearly blowing the roof off. Both Mason and Mia's faces turned bright red. Encouraged by the insane cheering of the crowd, Mason simply lowered his head and kissed Mia. A deep, passionate French kiss, completely ignoring everyone else in the room. It lasted a full three minutes before they reluctantly parted. For those agonizing three minutes, I stared unblinkingly at the screen. I was so numb I almost forgot to breathe. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart alive. I wanted to cry, but I had cried so much that afternoon I literally had no tears left. "Ugh, did you see that, Emma? They were practically making out. He's obsessed." Lily sighed as she flipped the camera back and walked out of the loud booth to a quiet hallway. She looked at me seriously. "Emma, don't be mad at me. If I didn't make you see this with your own eyes, you would never give up." My throat was parched. The words scraped like sandpaper when I finally spoke. "Yeah. I don't blame you." I only blamed myself for being an idiot for so many years. I thought that just because I was allowed to stay by Mason's side, that spot belonged to me forever. "I just can't stand Mason. He knows you've liked him for years, yet he plays the innocent boy stringing you along, watching you fall deeper and deeper. "You saw it clearly tonight. I really hope you think this through. Don't let him ruin your four years of college on the East Coast..." "He won't, Lily." I cut her off, my voice eerily calm. "I'm not giving myself another chance to be a fool. "Lily, I've made up my mind. I'm going to college in California with you. But you have to promise to keep it a secret for now." 04 To stop myself from hesitating, I opened my laptop right in front of her on the video call. Without a second of doubt, right before the midnight deadline, I changed my final college commitment from Columbia University in New York to a prestigious university in Southern California. Lily was thrilled, practically jumping for joy in the hallway. She had begged me to go to the same school as her for months. But back when high school started, Mason and I made a pact. We promised to study hard so we could go to his dream city—New York—together. They had the aerospace engineering program he had loved since he was a kid. Even though I hated the freezing East Coast winters and had zero interest in STEM-heavy schools, I made it my ultimate goal for three entire years. Growing up as next-door neighbors, both our families loved the idea of us going to the same college. Everyone, including me, thought that Mason and I naturally becoming a couple in adulthood was a given. But now, I couldn't find a single reason to go to New York. If I stayed by Mason's side after today, I would absolutely despise myself. I just wanted to hide as far away as possible. I didn't care where I went, as long as Mason wasn't there. If he was on the East Coast, I was going to the West Coast. 05 Before bed, I drew a full bath, wanting to scrub myself completely clean. But when I took off my clothes, the purple and blue bruises on my skin were glaringly obvious. The memories of last night flooded my mind uncontrollably. The scalding heat of the boy's skin when we embraced tightly, the heavy breathing in my ear—the lingering warmth still seemed to haunt the air around me. I shook my head violently, trying to shake off the absurdity. I grabbed the roughest exfoliating loofah I owned and scrubbed my skin over and over again until my entire body was inflamed and red. I awkwardly tried to erase the most humiliating memory of my life. The result was that I was in so much physical pain I couldn't sleep a wink all night. As expected, Mason never sent another text. It broke the streak of saying "goodnight" to each other every single night for six years, ever since we got our first cell phones. It was for the best. This day was bound to come anyway. I might as well start the detox tonight. I drifted in and out of a daze until dawn finally broke. The next morning, while I was still deep in sleep, I felt a soft kiss pressed against my forehead. 06 I jolted awake. Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was a familiar jawline and Adam's apple. The scent hovering over me was Mason's signature cedarwood cologne, mixed with a faint, unfamiliar trace of lemon perfume. I had almost forgotten—Mason had always known my house's smart lock passcode. Seeing me wake up, Mason leaned in lower, chuckling as he tried to kiss my lips. I panicked and turned my head away, pushing him back and scrambling to the other side of the bed. Mason froze for a second, then teased me: "Why are you acting shy now? Hmm?" I didn't speak. I just pulled the duvet over my head to hide. Mason started scolding me while playfully trying to yank the blanket away. "Emma, you've got some nerve. You didn't say goodnight yesterday, turned your phone on 'Do Not Disturb', and now you're hiding from me?" He moved quickly, slipping right under my covers. Before I could react, I was trapped tightly in his arms. "Be good. I've told you a million times, you can't skip breakfast. "I went for a run this morning specifically to get you your favorite bagels. I waited in line forever. "Do you want to get up and eat, or... do you want to be eaten first?" His breath was dangerously close, his hands already wandering. Snapping back to reality, I fought him with everything I had. But my 5'3" frame was no match for a 6'2" athlete. I couldn't figure out what the hell he was thinking. He already had Mia, why was he still messing with me?! After struggling for a long time, I was panting and exhausted. Not only had I not escaped, but he was holding me even tighter. "What are you throwing a fit about now? "Are you mad? Just because I didn't take you to the party last night? Over something that small?" I remained silent. He buried his face in my neck and laughed out loud. "Let me guess, your bestie snitched on me? "We were just playing a game, is it worth getting jealous over? Why are you still like this? Every time I get slightly close to another girl, you sulk." I was so angry I couldn't even form words. Remembering a self-defense move from gym class, I jerked my knee up sharply toward his groin. Taking advantage of his groan of pain, I scrambled off the bed. "Emma!" Mason gritted his teeth, his face flushed red. I quickly threw a cardigan over my pajamas and rushed out to the living room. I didn't want to be in the same room as him, especially not my bedroom. A few minutes later, Mason walked out too, looking equal parts angry and exasperated. After a long pause, as if he suddenly remembered, he asked casually: "By the way, you took that pill yesterday, right? Don't let an 'accident' happen, I wouldn't be able to explain it to your parents." He walked over to the dining table and grabbed a cup of iced coffee, holding it out to me. "Listen to me. Put something in your stomach before you keep throwing this tantrum. You know you have stomach issues." I didn't speak, and I didn't take the cup. Mason held his hand in the air for a long time before his patience finally snapped. "What exactly is your problem?! "Emma, even throwing a tantrum needs to have a limit, right?" I replied coldly: "I'm not worthy of it." Mason snapped. He slammed the iced coffee down onto the glass coffee table. He used so much force that the plastic cup cracked, spilling dark liquid all over my expensive white wool rug. "What does that mean? "Who do you think you are, Emma? You slept with me willingly, and now you think you can control me? Do you have any idea how suffocating you're being?!" His tone was more vicious than I had ever heard. Instantly, tears streamed down my face. No build-up, just a torrential downpour. The humiliation and grievances from yesterday flooded my heart all over again. Mason didn't expect me to cry so violently. For a second, he looked entirely at a loss. He frustratingly apologized: "I'm sorry. I drank too much last night, I'm just speaking out of anger." He squatted down next to me, reaching out to wipe away my tears, but I dodged him again. He froze, his hand hanging in mid-air. Just as he was about to try coaxing me again, his phone chimed. He glanced at the screen, his expression changed drastically, and he stood up immediately. "I've got an emergency. You calm down by yourself for a bit. "You're going to college soon, you can't keep acting like a child. No one is going to put up with it." 07 Less than half an hour after he left, Lily sent me a screenshot. It was Mia's Instagram story. [Said I was hungry, and a magical breakfast appeared! Feels like my crush and I are totally manifesting the same energy~] The photo showed the exact same bagel shop packaging that was currently sitting on my dining table. I didn't reply to Lily. I just silently wiped my tears, knelt down, and carefully tried to clean the coffee Mason had spilled. After scrubbing for a long time, I realized with crushing sadness that the stain had seeped deep into the fibers. It wouldn't come out. In a fit of anger, I rolled up the entire rug and threw it in the trash. It was a gift Mason and his parents had hand-carried back from a trip to Europe years ago. While I was at it, I gathered everything Mason had left at my house, and every big and small gift he had ever given me. I even packed up every single photo we had taken together. It took me the whole day, but I threw it all in the dumpster. He probably wouldn't ever want this junk back anyway. After Mason left that day, I didn't hear a single word from him for days. Things must have been going well with the Homecoming Queen. Or maybe he was just waiting for me to apologize first. In the past, whenever we had a cold war, I was always the one to cave. Without exception. But this time, I didn't reach out. There was no need. I blocked his number, blocked him on Snapchat and Instagram, changed my smart lock passcode, and deleted all of our shared accounts. After doing all that, I called my parents, who were currently traveling out of state for work. I told them I wanted to fly to Florida to spend the rest of the summer with my aunt. My plan was to stay there until summer ended, then fly straight to California with Lily for college orientation. Besides Lily, nobody else knew I was going to a school out West. This plan would perfectly avoid any chance of running into Mason. My mom teased me on the phone, "Ooh, are you going on a romantic getaway with Mason?" I made an excuse and denied it, not wanting to explain too much. I just told her I missed my aunt and grandma. I begged my dad to buy me the earliest flight possible, planning to pack and leave overnight. When I left my house, I unluckily ran into Mason's mom in our driveway. She greeted me warmly: "Emma, why are you out here alone? Didn't Mason come pick you up? "Didn't he say he was taking you to Aspen to go skiing? Have fun, sweetie, I fully support it." I felt strange. During finals week, I had mentioned to Mason that I wanted to go to Aspen to ski. But with how things were between us now, traveling together was completely inappropriate. Running late for my flight, I gave her a vague response and rushed off. But what I didn't expect was that I would actually run into Mason at the airport. 08 He was with a large group of friends. Mia was there too. Mason was holding a designer handbag in one hand and had his other arm wrapped securely around Mia's waist. They trailed behind the rest of the group. Every so often, Mia would turn her head to say something, and Mason would patiently lean down to listen to her. Unlike us. Mason was always a head taller than me, and as we grew up, the height gap only widened. When I was with him, I always had to hop around or tilt my head all the way back just to talk to him. Turns out, when a guy really cares about someone, he'll automatically lean down. I took a deep breath. I told myself to have some backbone. Whatever he did had nothing to do with me anymore. If I let my mind wander again, I promised to slap myself. But there was only one path to the security checkpoint. I had no choice but to trail far behind them. Finally, we reached a fork in the terminal. Mason seemed distracted. He made several phone calls that apparently didn't go through, aggressively tapping on his screen. Eventually, he borrowed a friend's phone and walked toward the restrooms, his face dark as thunder. A moment later, my phone rang. It was an unknown number. "Emma, you've got a real attitude this time. I don't look for you, so you don't look for me, right? "You actually blocked me? "If you're so tough, keep ignoring me. Let's see who's going to take care of you when you're all alone in New York." Mason's tone was hostile, scolding me in one breath. I stayed silent. There was literally no way to respond to that. My silence seemed to make him even angrier. "I'm not wasting my breath. Add me back right now. "I'm going out of state with some friends for a few days, I might not have cell service. Don't go crying if you can't reach me." I didn't give him a single word in response. I hung up and turned my phone on Airplane Mode. From a distance, I watched Mason storm back to his group, looking furious. He grabbed Mia's hand and, without hesitation, walked toward the gates on the left. I sighed, turned around, and walked toward the gates on the right.
? Continue the story here ?? ? Download the "MotoNovel" app ? search for "410903", and watch the full series ✨! #MotoNovel