After decades of marriage to my childhood sweetheart, I only learned the truth when he died. He was in love with my best friend. Every time he’d get close to me, every time he brought me milk tea or snacks, it was just an excuse to bring her a share. He never told a soul how he felt, just watched from the sidelines as she got a boyfriend. The day they shared a passionate kiss, he turned to me with a smile and asked if I wanted to be with him. Later, we had a daughter and a very happy life. But on his deathbed, he gripped my hand tightly. “Charlotte, if we could do it all over again… could you help me win Isabelle over? My biggest regret in this life was missing my chance with her and marrying you out of spite.” What I thought was a mutual love story was just him settling for second best. I pulled my hand from his, my face a cold mask. I watched his heart monitor flatline. Fine. A new life it is. I’ll give you exactly what you want. (1) When I opened my eyes again, the acrid smell of disinfectant still lingered in my nose. But the scene around me had completely changed. I was no longer in a hospital waiting for a doctor to sign a death certificate. I was at my high school desk, just waking up from a nap. A heavy weight slammed onto my left shoulder. Someone had slapped my back, hard. I instinctively turned to see my childhood sweetheart, Asher, his eyes crinkling with a smile. “What are you zoning out for? Class is about to start! Didn’t you sleep well last night? I got you some coffee!” With that, a loud thump echoed from my desk. It was the sound of a bottled coffee being slammed down. As if to catch someone’s attention. I met his gaze. His eyes were clear and bright, and when he looked at me, it seemed as if I was the only person in the world. In my last life, it was that earnest, focused gaze that had stolen all my love. Remembering his last words, the irony was sickening. “I don’t like coffee.” Thinking back, the signs were there all along. Isabelle was the one who loved coffee. I never did. Asher looked momentarily stunned, as if he couldn’t understand why the girl who always greeted him with a smile would reject him so bluntly. He offered a placating grin, his gaze cautious. “Then what do you like? I’ll go buy it for you after class…” My deskmate and so-called “best friend,” Isabelle, shot me a glance before flashing a sweet smile at Asher. “It’s okay, I love coffee. Charlotte, you can give it to me.” The moment she spoke, Asher snapped out of it, handing her the other bottle he had been clutching in his hand. “This one… is for you.” A rare, unnatural blush crept up the handsome planes of his young face. I took in the entire little exchange. I pushed the coffee on my desk toward Isabelle. She winked at me happily. “Looks like I’m benefiting from being your friend again, Charlie.” But that afternoon, when I went to the restroom, I overheard her complaining to another girl through the thin wall. “You know, she’s so extra. Is she trying to show off how much Asher cares about her?” “Honestly, who would even be friends with her if it wasn’t for Asher?” (2) To escape this toxic little trio, I asked my homeroom teacher to change my seat. She was frowning at my report card. “Charlotte, I know you’re a good kid, but you can’t let your friendships distract you from your studies. Your ranking has dropped by twenty spots this semester. You used to always be in the top five. At this rate, how are you going to get into a top-tier university?” “Mrs. Davison, that’s actually what I came to talk to you about.” “I’d like to change seats.” Mrs. Davison gave me a surprised look. I was the one who had originally asked to sit with Isabelle, claiming we could help each other study. Her grades had improved significantly. Mine, on the other hand, had steadily declined as my focus wavered. In my past life, because of this, I only managed to get into a decent state school, missing out on the dream university that had once been within my reach. With a second chance, I wanted to fix my past regrets. When I stepped out of the teacher’s office, I was surprised to find Asher waiting for me in the hallway. Since starting high school, he’d had a growth spurt, quickly transforming into a tall, handsome teenager. I had to tilt my head up to meet his eyes. Asher’s lips were pressed into a thin line, his expression a little awkward. He pressed something warm against my arm. I looked down. It was a carton of low-fat, high-calcium milk. A sudden laugh escaped me. So, he did know what I liked. He just never bothered to give it to me before. This time, I took it. Seeing me smile, his expression relaxed. He was about to speak, but I beat him to it. “I asked Mrs. Davison to make you and Isabelle deskmates. I know you like her. Don’t miss your chance.” There was no joy on Asher’s face. He just stood there, frozen. I gave him one last look and walked past him without another word. (3) Mrs. Davison was efficient. The seats were changed right after physics class. I hadn’t expected, however, to be seated next to the school’s academic legend, the top-ranked student in both our class and our year, Felix. He was a man of few words. I’d never seen him speak, except to answer a question. When he heard someone was finally going to occupy the empty seat beside him, the pen scratching formulas on his notepad paused for a fraction of a second. He simply glanced up at me. His dark eyes behind his glasses were as still and lifeless as a pool of stagnant water. That day, for the first time, I listened to an entire day of lectures without any distractions. Without those two next to me, even the air felt fresher. After evening self-study, I was still lost in my work when a shadow fell over me. It was Asher. He called my name with the same old intimacy. “Charlotte, let’s walk home together.” I could hear a faint excitement in his voice. He must be thrilled to be sitting next to the girl he liked. I didn’t even look up. “No thanks. You go ahead, I’m going to stay a bit longer.” As if he didn’t notice the distance in my tone, Asher didn’t move. He blocked the light from above, leaning his hands on my desk. His voice was still warm. “A little extra studying isn’t going to make a huge difference. It’s better to go home early, for safety.” “If I leave first, who’s going to walk you home?” He leaned in closer, the warmth of his body radiating through the air. I looked up and met his smiling eyes. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder, looking as effortlessly confident as ever, as if he was certain I would agree. Over his shoulder, I saw Isabelle’s face, twisted in a grimace. She had been glaring daggers at me, but froze when she realized I was looking at her. She quickly forced her expression into a strained, unconvincing smile. My lips curved into what must have been a wicked grin. “You don’t need to worry about that. Don’t you like Isabelle? Just walk her home. And please move, you’re blocking my light.” The color drained from Asher’s face. The fingers gripping the edge of my desk turned white from the pressure, his breathing grew shallow, his eyelashes fluttered. Called out, he flew into a rage. His voice shot up. “Charlotte, are you still mad about the coffee? That’s no reason to spread rumors! Who said I like Isabelle?” The hallway was bustling with students. Curious eyes darted between us. After a tense few seconds, my new deskmate spoke, his voice cutting through the tension. “Asher, nobody cares who you like. You’re being loud, and it’s annoying.” His voice was like shards of ice. The air froze. Someone snickered. A ripple of whispers spread through the crowd. As the reality of the situation dawned on him, Asher belatedly reached out to steady a swaying Isabelle. Before leaving, he shot me a deep, meaningful look. Then, in front of half the class, he took her wrist and strode away. (4) After that day, our trio was officially broken. Asher brought breakfast, coffee, and snacks only for her. They walked to school and back home together. They no longer needed me as a buffer. Their relationship progressed rapidly, growing more intimate by the day. To avoid them, I started waking up earlier and staying up later, maximizing my study time. Finally, in the final exams of our junior year, I clawed my way back to fifth in the class and twentieth in our year. Holding the report card, a sense of stability washed over me, the feeling of finally taking control of my own destiny. My eyes traveled up the list, stopping at the very top line. The academic god, always admired, never surpassed. Felix’s name was as solid as a mountain. He had no weak subjects, and he almost never lost points on objective questions. He was like a precision computer. No emotions, no errors. I glanced at my own pathetic physics score and felt a sudden urge to ask for his help. I turned to look at him, but his gaze was fixed on the window, as if he were daydreaming. I followed his line of sight and saw the orange sunset bleeding into the clouds. Sensing my stare, he gave me an indifferent glance. “Yes?” It was a question, but his tone was flat, like a statement. “Could you help me with some science problems?” His eyes fell to the test paper on my desk. “You’re getting giveaway questions wrong. Do you think me teaching you will make a difference?” There was no disdain in his voice, no mockery. It was as if he were simply stating a fact. But he still took my paper and, with a pencil, began showing me how to substitute the formulas. His explanations were concise but easy to understand. His calm tone was like the setting sun outside the window, creating an illusion of peace. When he finished, he handed the paper back to me. As I took it, he suddenly looked at me, his dark eyes bottomless. “You’ve improved a lot. Now that your grades are back up, don’t let them fall again.” I was stunned for a moment, then nodded firmly. In this life, I would not be caught in their little love game. And I would never, ever fall behind again. (5) That night, a sudden rain began to fall from a cloudless sky. Felix didn't have an umbrella, but I did, so I offered to walk him to the bus stop. He looked at me for a few seconds. “My ride is here. I can give you a lift.” His tone was even, still carrying that distant coldness. But I was starting to think he wasn't as unapproachable as everyone said. He was tall, and holding the umbrella over him was a strain. Seeing me struggle to raise my arm, his long fingers closed around the handle. “I’ll hold it.” The umbrella wasn’t big. We walked shoulder to shoulder in silence. But I could feel it was tilted in my direction. “Charlotte!” Over the downpour, I heard someone calling my name. It was a voice that should have been the most familiar in the world. We’d spent decades together in my past life, but now, it sounded like a stranger’s. I didn’t want to get entangled with Asher, so I kept walking. Felix glanced at me. “I remember you two used to be close.” “I’m surprised you pay attention to that stuff. I thought you were always buried in your books,” I said. A tiny twitch played at the corner of his lips. It was the first time I’d ever seen such a vivid expression on his face. “I’m studying, not deaf and blind. Asher’s so loud, it’s hard not to hear him.” Just then, a figure blocked our path. Asher stood there without an umbrella, soaked to the bone. His eyes were barely open, the rims red, but he stared at me with a stubborn intensity. “I don’t have an umbrella either. Why are you walking him and not me? Have the months you’ve been deskmates meant more than all the years we’ve known each other?” For months, he had been completely absorbed in his burgeoning romance with Isabelle. Every time he saw me, he would look away as if I were a stranger. What right did he have to question me now? I looked at him calmly. “Do you really think I don’t know why you started hanging around me in the first place?” He froze for a second, seemingly lost in thought. We took the opportunity to walk around him and leave. It was true. I should have realized it in my last life. His sudden attention wasn't because our parents were friends. It was because the new transfer student, Isabelle, was my friend. She was beautiful, with a gentle personality. But she was also bold, wearing pretty floral dresses under her school uniform. The day after she transferred, she approached me and said she wanted to be friends. Her eyes were sparkling, captivating. And just like that, we were friends. We ate lunch together, went to gym class together. Shortly after, Asher, who was in our class, also started getting close to me. Before, we’d only ever exchanged polite greetings. After Isabelle arrived, he started acting like we were the best of friends. The friend I thought I had was hiding other motives. The special treatment I thought I was receiving was just his little trick to get closer to her. The rain grew heavier. The car that was picking Felix up was waiting at the school gate. He held the umbrella as he opened the car door with one hand and gestured for me to get in. I didn’t hesitate. I gave the driver my address. Less than ten minutes later, we were at my door. Before I got out, Felix called my name. His eyes were unreadable in the dim light. “I won’t be coming back after the break. Study hard. If your grades slip again, no one will respect you.” His voice blended with the sound of the engine. Rain hammered on the umbrella. It was only later that I realized it. You truly never know when you’re seeing someone for the last time.
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