
When my boyfriend found out I had a thousand dollars loaded onto my campus dining card, his eyes practically turned into dollar signs. Under the guise of "helping me budget," he convinced me to let him hold onto it. But when I bought a $15 steak for lunch, he completely lost it. "Fifteen dollars? That’s enough for me to eat in the dining hall for three days. If I ate ramen and beans, it would last me ten days!" "My parents have worked their fingers to the bone their entire lives, and they’ve never even smelled a steak like that. And you? You're playing the rich heiress with your parents' hard-earned money?" "Go return that steak right now and get a $5 combo meal." I laughed out of sheer anger. My parents loaded a thousand dollars onto my dining card so I could eat well every meal, not so I would have to walk on eggshells to get a bite of food. 01 At lunchtime, I used my dining card to buy the daily special: a $15 pan-seared steak. The moment I sat down, my boyfriend, Ethan, suddenly snapped at me. "Chloe, are you insane? Fifteen dollars for a thin piece of meat? Do you think money grows on trees?" "My parents work themselves to death all month just to scrape together a few of those fifteen dollars. They don't even know what a steak tastes like! And what are you doing? Acting like some spoiled trust-fund baby?" "Go return it right now. Go get a $5 value meal." My fork froze mid-air. I looked at my inexplicably furious boyfriend in confusion. I swiped my card. Why was he so agitated? I knew Ethan came from a struggling rural family. His parents farmed to put him through college. His monthly allowance of $150 wasn't even enough to cover one nice dinner out for me. He pinched pennies in his daily life. He only bought things on extreme clearance and only ate the cheapest meals. The faded white button-down he wore was supposedly from middle school; he hadn’t thrown it away in eight years. Mindful of his financial situation and afraid of hurting his pride, I suppressed my anger and tried to explain gently. "Ethan, I only eat this occasionally. It's not like I'm having it every meal. Plus, the quality of this steak is really high. It's definitely worth the price." I held up a piece of the steak on my fork to show him. Plump meat, a beautiful rosy color, seared perfectly. A steak of this quality would easily cost forty or fifty dollars at a restaurant off-campus. "Eat? Do you even deserve to eat something this expensive? Look at you. Who besides me could stand a spendthrift like you?" Ethan interrupted me impatiently, slamming his hand on the table and knocking the fork right out of my hand. The piece of steak tumbled to the floor, instantly drawing the attention of the students around us. My eyes widened with a mix of disbelief and anger. Just as I was about to fire back. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed several students pointing and whispering about us. Some even had their phones out. "He's so mad, his girlfriend must have maxed out his dining card." "I think I've heard of that guy. He's a senior, really good grades, but he's on a low-income grant. He probably snapped because he can't afford his gold-digger girlfriend." "That girlfriend is so clueless. Her boyfriend is broke, and she's maxing out his card? She's obviously just a leech." Hearing the whispers around me, my cheeks burned like fire. I reached out to grab Ethan's sleeve. "If we're going to fight, let's do it outside. There are so many people here, aren't you embarrassed?" "Besides, I spent money from my own dining card! And my parents loaded all that money because they want me to eat well. It's just a piece of steak. It's not like I can't afford it." Ethan violently shook off my hand. Ignoring my resistance, he forcefully dragged me to the next table, pointing at a student who was gnawing on a plain bagel. "Look. This is what you call knowing how to live. A vain parasite like you should be forced to eat plain bagels and cheap beans every day." "If you're willing to blow $15 on something as flashy as a steak today, what's next? Are you going to want a $50 salad? A $20 bottle of water? How can I trust you with our family's finances in the future if you act like this? You aren't thinking about our future at all!" "Think you can just swipe your card whenever you want? Dream on. I told you I'd manage your dining card, and I'm a man of my word. I need to monitor every meal you eat to keep you from wasting your parents' hard-earned money!" Under the strange gazes of the crowd, I stared at the steak lying on the floor, trembling with rage. Ethan holding onto my dining card was like him choking the very breath out of me. I felt incredibly stifled. Using my own dining card had somehow become a "sin" worthy of public criticism and education. I couldn't help but regret agreeing to let him manage my dining card in the first place. 02 At the beginning of the semester, when Ethan found out I had a thousand dollars on my dining card, his eyes lit up. He told me he was a Taurus, that he had been good with money since he was a kid. He said that since I was a freshman, I wouldn't know the ins and outs of the dining halls—which had over fifty different food stalls. He was afraid I'd get ripped off and offered to manage my dining card, promising to save me money while making sure I ate well and cheaply. "Chloe, you're young and don't know how to budget. Let me hold onto your dining card. Tell me when you want to eat, and I'll be there on call." Thinking that as a junior, he definitely knew the dining halls better, and swept up in his sweet-talk of "doing it for my own good" and the rose-colored glasses of new love, I foolishly handed over my dining card. Ever since Ethan took over my dining card, every time I wanted to use it, I had to report to him first. He would interrogate me in agonizing detail about what I wanted to buy and how much it cost. At first, I thought he just cared about me. I even happily told him I wanted to buy some fresh strawberries for $10. Ethan sucked in a breath of cold air. "Ten dollars? Do you know how many pounds of bananas you could buy with that?" "Instead of eating 50-cent bananas, you insist on strawberries. You girls are all just following trends, eating whatever's expensive. You deserve to be ripped off by these greedy merchants!" "Strawberries and bananas have the same nutritional value. Listen to me, just buy a pound of bananas." In the end, I went back to my dorm carrying clearance bananas that cost a dollar a pound. Ethan was very satisfied. He said it all looked the same once it hit your stomach, so there was no need to pay extra for how it looked. I felt incredibly frustrated. There were many similar incidents. Every time I wanted to buy something, Ethan would "kindly" find a so-called cheap alternative. Boba tea was swapped for tap water. A slice of cake was swapped for a plain muffin. He even wanted to swap a $2 yogurt for a free promotional drink his roommate got with takeout. Pile upon pile, Ethan's words felt like iron chains binding me, stripping away my freedom. But I never imagined that the Ethan who once promised to be "on call" would now lecture me over spending a few dollars. This was completely different from what he said about "saving me money" when he asked for my card. This was him actively restricting my spending. I stubbornly started a cold war with Ethan and went to the dining hall with my roommate, Sarah. It just so happened the dining hall had opened a new premium stir-fry stall. The food looked amazing and smelled divine. It cost $8 a plate. Since Ethan had my physical card, I used the mobile app linked to my account to pay via QR code. Right after I paid, my phone started ringing immediately. "Chloe, what did you buy that cost $8? You just can't change, can you? I confiscate your physical card, and you just use the app?" "Fine, I'm coming to the dining hall right now to show everyone what a spoiled brat looks like!" His angry voice drew stares from the students around me. I felt embarrassed and angry. "You don't need to come. I already got it to go." "Besides, I just bought a plate of stir-fry. Is it a crime to use the money from my own account?" "Chloe, we're dating, and you're already dividing what's yours and what's mine? What are we going to do when we get married? Split everything 50/50? Can you stop being so selfish? Can you think about us for a second? Do you think it's easy for your parents to make money? Don't you feel guilty spending it like this? Listen to me. From now on, if it costs more than a dollar, ask me first." Seeing the strange looks from the people around me and Sarah's probing gaze, I was flush with shame and anger. Tears welled in my eyes as I hung up the phone. The delicious stir-fry, just like the steak that day, turned into something that made me lose my appetite. Back in the dorm, Sarah saw my red eyes, let out a muffled laugh, and then offered some hypocritical comfort. "Oh, Chloe, Ethan is just looking out for you. Look at me, when I want to eat something nice, I don't have anyone to tell me no. He's talking to you because he cares. Unlike me, a loner with no one to love or care for me." "It's rare to find a guy who knows how to budget like him nowadays. He's so busy all day, but he still finds time to pay attention to what you eat. Even if he plays the bad cop, he's trying to help you break your bad spending habits. He genuinely wants a long-term future with you." I responded with a few annoyed "mhm"s and climbed into bed, closing my eyes to sleep. But lying in bed, my chest felt like it was being crushed by a heavy stone. It was so suffocating. It was already 3 AM, but I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. I just couldn't understand. Why did "looking out for me" mean losing the freedom to choose what I eat and drink? Why did it mean only consuming cheap alternatives? For the first time, I realized that I couldn't handle this "good intention" from my boyfriend in the name of love. 03 After evening study hall, my stomach rumbled. I wanted to go to the late-night snack window at the dining hall. I didn't expect that Ethan, afraid I'd spend money, had actually disabled the quick-pay feature on my app. Furious, I went straight to his dorm building to get my physical card back. When he came downstairs, his first sentence was an interrogation about what I was going to buy. I told him straight up that I was hungry and wanted some soup and a small piece of cake. Ethan looked confused, looking me up and down for a solid minute. "No way! Look what time it is. Eating soup and cake now? It'll make you fat and waste money. Just endure it. Go drink some water. You won't be hungry once you're asleep." Shock spread across my face. He actually wanted me to fill up on water? The burning sensation of hunger gave me strength. I stood firm and refused to back down, confronting him in front of the busy dorm entrance. Finally, with a dark expression, Ethan followed me to the dining hall. Taking long strides, he swiped the card before I could say anything, bought a plain, dry roll, and handed it to me like charity. "Fine. Eat. Stop walking around with a long face like I'm abusing you. I'm providing for you, what more do you want?" I frowned at the roll in his hand—harder than a rock and completely unappetizing—and shoved it away forcefully. I was exhausted after a whole night of studying. I absolutely refused to eat a dry piece of bread for a late-night snack. Ethan, seeing my reaction, immediately threw the roll onto the floor! "Eat it or don't. Starve, you deserve it. It'll help you lose that fat anyway." Looking at the roll rolling on the floor, my stomach cramped in pain, and my heart felt even more suffocated. Hungry and feeling deeply wronged, I went to find my best friend, Mia, crying as I poured out the details of this terrible conflict caused by the dining card. Ethan was my first boyfriend. I valued this relationship very much. We originally met online. I posted on a forum asking for advice on college applications, and he patiently guided me and encouraged me to apply to his university. Online, he was funny, humorous, attentive, and considerate. He would send me ginger tea when I had my period. For my birthday, he sent a matching couple's bracelet he wove himself. When I had a cold, his heart ached so much he stayed up all night on a voice call with me, constantly muttering: "God above, transfer all her pain to me. Just let my baby be healthy and safe." When the semester started, I was full of anticipation to meet him in person. But I never expected the real-life him to be completely different from the gentle, considerate boyfriend online. I knew our living standards were vastly different. I'm the only daughter of a family in California. My parents run a successful international trading business. They provide for all my needs. For my 18th birthday, I got a luxury condo in Los Angeles. When I was eating $100 sushi, he was eating plain bread with hot sauce before running an hour to do a $15 tutoring session. But he had good grades and ambition. Even though he had a year left until graduation, he had already secured an internship at a Fortune 500 company. His future was bright. He also promised me: "Baby, when I graduate and get a job, I'll give all my salary to you." I didn't have a very profound concept of money. My parents told me to keep a low profile at school, to avoid showing off wealth, and to avoid bringing unnecessary trouble to the family. So, after starting college, I gave up eating at high-end restaurants and squeezed into the dining halls with my classmates. With Ethan, I also believed that after he graduated and had a stable income, the gap between us would narrow. But I never expected the conflict exposed by the dining card would make me realize that our entirely different concepts of consumption couldn't be resolved simply by compromising. The gap in our backgrounds was like an uncrossable chasm. After Mia understood the whole story, her words hit the nail on the head. "He took your dining card? That's robbery. It's manipulation. It's psychological control!" "Saving you money? Bullshit! He's jealous. He's insecure. He can't stand seeing you live better than him. He wants to drag you down into the mud so you rot with him." "Managing your dining card? The next step is making you hand over your living expenses, your salary, turning your money into his money. Wake up, Chloe! This is the beginning of a crime!" Mia reminded me seriously: "Go check your dining card balance immediately. With a guy like this, who knows if he's been secretly spending your money!" I woke up as if from a dream, realizing the severity of the problem. It turns out that true "good intentions" lift you higher. They don't clip your wings and then blame you for not being able to fly. I pulled out my phone and immediately texted Ethan. [We're done. Return my dining card immediately.]
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